OK, kinda ticked at the moment. My dad was about to take me into town, he got up from his nap. Well, he was walking to his chair and I was up and the dogs were walking round (we have 2 german sheperd btw, and bailey is all white and 140lbs and general is 86lbs) well I don't like the dogs at all and well hate them. Bailey is really afraid of me and runs away from me. These are big dogs ok. They are like 6 foot standing on their hind legs. Ok, well anyway, bailey is my dads dog and general is going deaf (call him G for short) well I don't know where G is but I usually dont' have a problem with him, it's just I can't stand bailey because he's soo frickin scared of me and doen't come with called cause he's afraid I'll kick him ^^' and I do oh so often xD I know it's mean but he just bugs the hell out of me! Even when I'm nice, he's still scared silly and runs to dad. Well anyway, dad was wakling and bailey is always at his heals, I was walking kinda behind dad but bailey just ran up behind dad and went behind me and kinda triped me, like hit the back of my knees (ya'know what I'm talking about) but anyway, that pissed me off just like it would and out of reflex I raised my foot and kicked him in the side ^^' well my fucking brother is pissing me off so I have to go fucking bastard


LATER

shit, church, I'll finish this later~


NIGHT

Omg, I just like wrote fucking alot alot telling about today and yesterday. Omg then it said I wasn't logged in. Damnit


Ok, didn't go to into town like planned yesterday. Went to whictia Falls with my sis, neice and sis's mother-in-law. It was fun, we went to best buy, toys r us, chillys, finishing touch, target, books a million, in that order. I got me a pair of red pants at target and Loved the manga selection at books a million. got back into town and went to sis's. she cooked and later in the night, matts parents came over and ate. At toys r us we got kylee, my neice, a jeap. 160 or something. Gezz, she was fussy at the house and didn't want to leave those damned toys. she screams, not that loud though.

Fuck, ok today dad took me into town a little later and went to hastings and I read MARS vol. 2 I love that manga, dad got ring of fire on dvd ther too. WEnt to wal mart and got food, just dinner food though. mom didn't cook tocos liked planed cause she was tired, and church was fun. we sung and aaron showed off a bruse red spot looking thing on his side to some of the people there. soem of the other guys had the same looking bruses (Aaron's was on his side, upper side ::wink wink:: ) and it turns out that they had a paintball fight eariler today at the creek. I've always wanted to do that. Umm yeah that's about it. ... fuck, I typed a shit load more. Fucking hell that pisses me off damnit


Ja fucking Ne~

Lord I was born a ramblin maann, trin make a livin and doin the best that I can, well pleass.. soineiod I hope you understand... that I was born a ramblin mann

Dang, got that song stuck in my head and only know a bit of the song ^^'

Well, today was okay ^^ School was easy. First hour I didn't finish the assignment which is due Monday so I completed it 2nd hour while we watched a movie. Math we did nothing, watched another movie and ate gramcrackers because in another hour they were making ginger bread houses and had some left over. I asked if we could all go get some chololate milk from the cafeteria. She let us. Yeah, a test 4th hour (I cheated some) and then a movie and bead work 5th, a test 6th (spelling) and a simple work sheet (english) and nothing 7th (yearbook). So no homework and tomorrow is the day I get to be with my sis and neice and brother-in-law during lunch. I have 12 dollars of my own and mom said she had some money, I'll raid dad's wallet later and then I'll have dad, when he brings me into town to my sis's, get money over at Simons. Ok, the deal with the money-over bit. I'll explain. My parents only have checks, no credit card or nuttin. Simon is the owner of a Conoco (gas station) that we are 'good friends' with. Ok, we used to live in the neighborhood that that gas shop is at, not anymore dah, and we used to go there alot and we spend alot of money in that place. The deal is that my parents get gas and smokes and that's like 20 something then they get like 20 or 25 dollars over and that comes to 40$ usually 50 or more over everytime we go into town. So, that dude makes alot of money on us. That is how we get our cash. So, I'll probably be getting 20 tomorrow adding 12 of my own, then whatever I can drain from my mom and dad ^^' I'll try not to spend it. Oh o.o on the news it said that Tulsa in OK got snow, so Drew and Tammy might of got snow too. I think we are calling them later.

It was cold and wet all day. Raining now and then, a drizzle here a drizzle there. Mist, and a cold cold wind. Not a very friendly warm day. I didn't like it. Pretty, but cold as heck. I was going to plug in the fence lights I hung up yesterday, being the idiot I am, I went out in the back with my socks on ^^' completly forgetting that it had rained. My socks felt wet and I'm like, I'm such a dork, lol I then remembered it was wet and why my socks felt that way. Oh well, I went to the fixture and pulled up the plug, it had drops on it. I looked at it then went to plug it in. Ok, water is like a factor or something of electricity. We all know that right? Well, I went to plug it in and stoped ^^' I'm like, 'with my luck, even though this plug is ment for outside, I'll get shocked' xD so I just set it down went inside, took off my socks and went to my dad. I asked if I dried it off and then went to plug it in if it would be safe, but he said just to wait till tomorrow, that this weather was supposed to clear up.

Me and dad played darts. Umm... this cough of mine isn't sitting too well with my parents. I can hear myself weezing ^^' though I haven't told them. It's kinda weird. Take a deep breath and I can feel my lungs rumble. Not good. Though, once I cough it stops, then sometimes when I feel like I need to cough, I can feel my lungs rumble. ::shrugs:: My throat is getting dry and I can feel like some snot in it or something and it makes me cough. They might take me back to the doctors. I don't want to go. We can't afford it. I don't have insurence, I don't think my life is in danger... jinx?

I hope tomorrow is going to be fun, I know it will be. What to wear? I don't want to wear something that will get stained, but then I'll be all flexibaly with a child so I'll need to wear long pants ^^ and a good sized shirt :D see girls think about this stuff ^^' well least I do cause I don't want noo skin to show xD My white dry skin >.< I need a taaaaaannnn!!! Goodness. Tanned fat is more attractive than pale fat ^^' I don't remember who said that, I think it was on TV or something o.o Not saying I'm fat mind you ^^ 116lbs here ^^' o_O I think, ..... around there, no more though, maybe less I don't know ¬_¬ haven't had a good meal in a while, too lazy and mom hasn't cooked dinner.... not saying there isn't anything to eat. -.-' Just so lazy I won't even microwave anything to feed my slef ^^' that's fucking lazy. xD

Well, I'm going to go read now yep, my ELFSONG book, then maybe if I finish it, it's 160 something pages, had it for 3 days, and I'm more than halfway through, I think I'll finish it this weekend, and maybe start on this Koren girls diary. That would be nice. I've already started it but I'm cought up in this ELFSONG thing and want to get it done so I can take the test on it. AR book. This little 3rd grade girl is soo annoying and comes into the library during my 5th hour class and anyway, books books books, that girl. She said that she has 101 AR points and I have 6 ^^' from reading that Chinese Princess Diary for OK History. xD this ELFSONG is worth 5 points, and I'll tell'ya, I know I have the most in my class because NO ONE reads at all in my class unless they have too. I like to read though.

Ok ok I'm out



Ja~

Well, I'm pissed, but I've gotten over that with lights and good news.

Ok, reason why I got pissed: At school some lady came in my last hour class and asked if Buda had her keys, I turned around and the lady said that my mother called and wanted to know if I had my house keys. I looked in my bag and I saw that I did have them so I went into the libary and called my house. Voice mail. Left a message saying that I did have my keys and that they didn't need to go to the casino and that they better be home when I get out of school and they better not leave. Went back to reading my book 'Elf Song' in the computer lab (7th hour, Year book) while my friends where on chat-avenue, then the lady came in again and said 'did you call your mother?' I said I did and that I left a message. Mom had called the school again, so I put my book down and made my way to the phone. Called and mom picked up. I said that I left a message and she told me to just tell her what it said. Told her I had my keys, and she started bitching because I told her they didn't need to go to the casino because it would be the 4th time in 9 days and mom said she would only go fucking one a week if that and she started saying how she makes the money and I didn't want to hear it so I just hung up the phone. ^^' Nice huh? xD I couldn't help it! She was annoying me! Besides, it felt good hanging up and just not hearing her voice anymore, getting rid of what annoyed you right that second. Am I turning evil? Naw, just spoiled.

Walked home and this car drove by and that Amanda (brittneys sis) was there with Tika in it. (the girl I thought was lez) weird. They don't need to use that road to get home, it's really accutally out of the way. That is frickin strange, she never takes that road, frickin weirdness. OH, got home and no one was there.

I was cool about it, grabbed the good munchies and made some kool-aid, turned on mtv and tlc and just became the potatoe. I was still tripping off my mom and was intent on eating all the food in the house just to show them how mad I was ^^' lol like I could eat that much. Bro came back with a friend (who's car was parked outside btw) and he never brings home anyone cute. Damn ok this is turning out too long.

Ok that is why I was pissed, my bro came and left. I went downstairs in the laundry room and climbed up on the machines to reach boxes with christmas lights in them. Got them out without breaking anything and went outside and put those clips on the fence. Hung the lights up and found out I didn't have an instention cord and the shed was locked up and my parents had the key and my brother had one but was gone. So I said I was screwed and I would just have to wait till my parents got back to turn them on. Well, my sis called and said that Saturday she wanted to know if I wanted to hang out with her and Kylee. Omg I said yes! That's really neat. I really think that she realizes how much fun I have just being around her. She said that she has to do Christmas shopping and maybe some grocery shopping. You dont' know how happy that made me! You wouldn't think going grocery shopping would make someone excited, but I haven't been grocery shopping in months! A long friggin time. Mom and dad pick up food here and there when they come home from the casino. I dont like that. I like spending time with them in stores, so I'm really thrilled to be able to shop with my sister and neice. She said, Christmas shopping, grocery shopping and then eating. We will go to the mall at around 1 or something because Matt, her husband, gets off for lunch and we will eat with him. She said they got their tree yesterday and went to decorate it and they lost their lights so they will have to buy new ones. (Matts parents are rich, own their own store, they are rich, big house, rich, and Matt is a mooch and my sis is kinda a doctor type res. theripest or whatever and makes good money) but yea, she said that maybe I could stay for dinner and help decorate the tree. Wow, my sister. I almost had tears in my eyes. She got kicked out of the house when I was young, I've missed her since. I really care about her, I'm just fooling myslef when I said that I could leave everything behind and move to OKC. My sister and I are just now picking up our relationship again. I won't lie, I'm jealous. She had them as she grew up, had my parents, my mom and dad while they were younger and more active, I have them now while they are older. I'll be honest, I think .... I don't want to jinx anything, but she had them while they were young and well, I might not have them here at her age. They are getting old, my father was supposed to of already died, accoding to what the doctors said, I don't know if that still holds but it was said 5 years ago. They might croke whenever, then I'll be left with no body. Just my jackass brother and my sister... and her fucking jackass husband.... I'm going to tell my parents today that I want Drew and Tammy to be my gardians. They probably will freak but i just now thought of it. I would rather live with them then my fucking yanky aunt or perverted uncle or my tempered brother or to brother my sister. I would want to live with drew and tammy. EEk OK!

Now, I did the lights and as my sister was telling me all this I was outside in the dark because I found an instention cord in the laundry room on the wall (thanks to my sis's help) and I hooked verything up and I had my sis, Melissa, count to 3 and I pulged it in outside and the fence lit up! It's so pretty. I love christmas lights, I won't admit it, but I find them peaceful, I love christmas time. The trees, the smell of pine and the sliver strips hanging off the tree, the little water bucket under the tree, the round shiny bulbs, and the lights, oh the lights. ^^ I could care less of the presents. Yeah, but the fence thing made me more cheerful, and then I put up red lights in the kitchen. I'm hoping that when My parents drive in they will see the lights outside and feel guilty that they missed me putting them up. I dont' know.

After that I read 'Elf Song' on the couch. I"m planning on turning off all the lights but the little lamp in the corner and the red lights in the kitchen when I hear them in the driveway.

I get out of school on the 19th. Yeah, well I think i've written enough and I know i've forgotten some of what I wanted to write, but I"m sure some of you already think this is deathy long, so...

OH... when I was walking home, I was with Laura, we always walk home together whenever she doesn't have practice after school. We usually go to school together too, she usually gives me a ride or we walk together. But anyway, there was this girl walking with us today, Pitina, they was talking and I dont' really know that give too much since I don't do sports anymore and don't take gym so I just wasn't talking. Laura asked me if my parents went into town, cause of the key thing. And I said yea, and she was looking to the ground. It looked like she was mad at them because it was like she saw that I didn't like them going to the town and becase that made me said she seemed angry at them. ... It was like she knew. She shouldn't though, hopfully she thinks they just go into town to eat... oh she probably thinks they drink lol at bars but they don't. Nope, smoke but no drinks. I hope she doesn't know they go to the casino all the time. My mom would hate that. She works with Laura's mom. ... I dont' know.... having someone know something.. without me telling them woudl just... piss me off I guess... I don't know.... I haven't told anybody in person about my parents 'problem' that they are frickin blind to. No one but people on the computer lol guess you could say I'm ashamed. I dont know. Maybe Laura and I are becomming closer friends. I dont 'know if i'm ready for a best friend. I woudlnt' tell them... no I woudlnt' tell them anything. I'm just not like that, dont' open up. and I won't be forced to. fuck... gezz I just confused myself xD



Ja~

Boogaboo

Yes, well all this coughing is beginning to take its toll. In other words my throat is beginning to get sore.

My nose is still dribbling which makes it annoing.

I've been going dart crazy! My arms are soo friggin sore cause I'm all weak and lazy lol even my legs are getting sore, ha ha from just streaching out to hit my mark. That is a wow to me.

I wrote that 'oops, I'm an idiot and they don't have it anymore, sorry' letter and gave it to those girls. Brittney is still sick, she says she'll be at school tomorrow though. Retake pictures didn't go that great. Had my hair spiked this morning and I didn't like it so I wetted it down and dryed it and it looked soo flakly oh well.

After 5th hour when I went to change classes, I have to walk outside into the other building it was snowing tini tiny snow flakes. Yeah, yesterday was such a nice day too and it's frickin cold as hell now. I WAS planning on putting up our christmas lights on the fence but hell they can wait, too damn cold. My fingers wouldn't work.

My brother's car had a 'blowout' and dad and him went out to the highway to fix it. I'm worried about my father, I hope my brother keeps an eye on him. It's too cold for an old man like him to be out.

I've decided that I want to be a writer. Well, atleast write in my spare time or like have it as a side job or what not. I love reading and want to bring my own stories out into the world. I want my own manga too. I'm home alone and the wind is howling outside. Creeks and thuds can be heard and I'm freaking out lol

In that note I wrote to the girls I told them I wanted to be friends with them and that maybe we could all go bowling or something and since I have a few anime series on DVD we could have like an anime night or something. Those girls are weird but I really want to talk to people who are also into anime and manga. ¿Desperate? I don't know, I'm kinda scared and then excited. I always thought that one girl and her sister were lezs. I dont' know. I dont' get along with Sandra and she is like the leader and bosses that little small twigy girl around. The small twigy girl is Martika, or tika is what everyone calls her. (oh yeah, my mom is home, better turn on the coffee. Wait that's not my mom! Yeah, they fixed my brothers car! Good, oop now the coffee will be old, oh well) anyway, that is the one I think was lez. Her sister doesn't go to school here anymore. Amy is the one I trade games with and she is a hyper, fourm weird cool kinda person. Amanda is Britteny's sister and is big big big, like 300 or more. Well, I dont' know but she is big and doesn't eat lunch and is weird like that. Well, I don't know. I freaked, when I handed that Martika the note I was tripping on my words and she was acting all shy and just nodded and said ok that she got everything. She always acts shy around me and I take it as flirting. OHHH SPEAKING OF FLIRTING!!! There is this magic eye book that we have in math and anyway eveyone passes it arouund and Aaron had it so I grabbed for it and he brushed my hand away so I grabbed his finger xD!!! I wouldn't let go either! It wasn't hard, just enough not to get shooken off ^^ he put the book down and brought his other hand around to pry mine off his ^^ I pulled away before then though ;D some flirting went down today ha ha

Oh but anyway, that girl is weird. When ever she looks at me.. it just freaks me out. I dont' now if this is a good Idea, grr don't back out now Buda! I dont' know weird.

Humm... I wonder if I was gonna write anything else ::rubs back of head:: dun gone and forgot again >;p



Ja~

Boo!

^^ Yesterday, went to Hastings and read half of the manga MARS, good manga mind you! Umm... but anyway, I played darts with my brother and then almost missed church. Mom reminded me when they got back from Bingo >.> ^^ went to church and o.o was bold I guess you could say. I'm becomming more confident in myslef as me ^^' I'm not caring so much on my looks all the time (all the time) and I don't really care what other people think anymore ^^ :D Yea! Chruch was fun cause I was kinda flirty in a good mood. Not with Aaron though, this guy Kyle sat next to me. He's the only black guy in the Jr. High and High school ^^' :o I think he's kinda somewhat Indian too, the black Indian ^^' he gets tessed a lot o.o !! Got home and played darts with my papa ^^ dad and :D first game was friendly and second game ^^ was I get 5$ if I win and if I loose I have to rub mom for 20mins. I won and dad said double or nothing ^^' I said make it 10$ and I'll make it 40mins xD Played and Lost!!! I wanted my money back so I said 5$ and an hour! So I LoST again!!! ^^' that ok, dad gave me 10$ to rub mama so ;p

ANYWAY ^^ I've just been happy. Today doesn't seem like Monday. Remember me saying something that this one bowling ally has free bowling for the schools? Well, I really wanted to go, and I've missed 2 weeks, our school didn't have a team yet anyway. Sooo I decided to write these girls a note, seeing if they wanted to join me and form a team. These girls are weird, but my friend's, Britteny, sister is friends with them, oh Amy is one too, the friend I trade PS2 games with. Yeah but anyway, I passed them the letters and I went there today at the lane and they said that they already have the teams picked and that it was just for November xD!!! GRRR I FEEL SOO STUPID!!! Crappers right? Gezz I feel soo dumb ^^' -.-! I'll just have to type up another letter ^^'''

:O no one showed up so I went to Wal Mart and got me a face wash for sensetive skin cause my face was drying out and then went to Hastings to READ!! ^^ Yea!! that's what made me happy! :D Man I love MARS! Damn, I want to get a job so I can buy more manga!

^^ I'm saving up my money though ;p making bets with my dad on that dart board! Today, we played and 3 friendly games and then I won the 4th game and dad has to do the dishes ! :D ha ha! Yeah, but I'm saving up because when we go to Drews and he takes me around the town, I want money to spend ^^' buying Japanese candy at Hastings for 2.50$ a box ain't helpin! XD

I'm liking darts and I've tried to stop liking Aaron but I just CAn't!! -_- I don't know why... but.... I was feeling all good before chruch and confident in myslef and boom, see Aaron and ::deep sigh:: .... I just dont' want to like him anymore.. I just can't stop it though.

^^' ::rubs back of head:: gomen ;p!



Ja~

I'm Pissed off at my parents!

My mom came into my room and she seemed to be getting ready. I knew what was comming and could of just thrown something at her and I wish I had. She told me that her and dad where going into town for a while and before I got upset that to shut up that she was taking me somewhere later today and if I bitched I didn't get to go. I said whatever and told to get out of my room. I JUST KNOW THEY ARE GOING TO THE FUCKING CASINO!!!! Fucking SHiT! I'm about to cry here I'm so pissed. What is all this fucking talk that they aren't going to the casino anymore cause they are eating up food money and yet they just leave! And mom bitches cause she says she makes the money and deserves to go out sometimes! Fuck this. Atleast it seemed like my mother was carrying some envelops, I hope they are bills. I know even if they do go pay them they are going to the casino, I just Know. I yelled at them before they left and mom got pissed but I just told them to leave and mom stormed out. I hate this. I really do.

My mom and dad called Drew yesterday. I talked to him to close to an hour on the phone. He was describing where he lived, the malls, tall buildings, just about any store and resturant you could think of. I want to move there. Oh how I want to move there. I would give up everything here. My friends, I wouldn't care. I want to movie to the city. I mean the CITY. OKC, Oklahoma City, big! That's what I want. My parents dont' want to move, but I want to. There is a house for sale where Drew and them live. Small but... I want to live there. They live in a nice little town by OKC, only 25 minutes from the busy part of OKC. I want to go sooo bad. They, Drew and Tammy, said I could live with them, I really want too, but my parents won't allow me. I want to work on them because I really don't like living in a small town. I miss the sidewalks and crowds. Ok maybe so much not crowds, but I do miss everything else. I hate this little fucking country town. I hate the people, I just don't like anything. You can't find a job, I hate this all. The way Drew described the city to me.... I.... I just want to drop everything and move today. Sure, me and my sis are just starting to become like sisters again, and I'll miss Kylee my neice because she is just learning my name, but... this is what I want. I think my sister is the reason why my parents dont want to move, well atleast one of the reasons. I know my sister wouldn't hesitate to move away from where she is. Atleast I wouldn't think she would. Not for us anyway. After I hung up the phone I couldn't help but let the tears fall. Yes, I cried. It sounds wonderful. I want a job. I want more money. I want my parents with me, not my brother, sister yes, not my brother, and I want to move and have Drew and Tammy, DJ, Blake, Jeb, and Sammy. That's who I consider my family. ... I miss them, I miss my parents. .... This is what I want, I might miss the friends I've made here, but I won't die without them and I know I won't cry over them. ... I don't know what to do about anything. I can't do anything. I'm just a kid, and a female at that. So weak. I hate this. ...



....


UPDATE

Turns out they didn't go to the casino and came home before 2 O'clock with food. Yeah. Mom was planning on taking me to the movies but father bought the DVD instead, Pirates of the Caribbean. OMG JOHNNY DEPP IS SOO FRIGGIN SEXY AND ORLANDO BLOOM IS PRETTY SEXY TOO! MUCH BETTER LOOKING THEN HIM AND BLONDE HAIR ^^ Yes ¬_¬ mom wasn't too into the movie. Oh o.o rewind. Me sis, Melissa, wanted to come over today but since my parents (our) weren't home she didn't. My parents aren't fond of her husband so when he was at work she was going to come over with Kylee. But anyway, then I was going to go over to her house since she was afraid to come over because my parents weren't home. But then she said just to wait since mom said she had something she was going to do with me later on. Well, mom and dad got home and mom called sis and it turned out she couldn't come. Chicken out? She had to meet Matt, her husband, for lunch. When did this happen? Dont' know. But back to mom. She wasn't into the movie and then went to the bathroom and I didn't notice she stayed in there for a good time and by the time she came out she was putting on lipstick meaning she was getting ready to go somewhere. That pissed me off. She said that we need to go get my picture ID so I can start going with her. I don't want to waist the money. She went off to Bingo. That's where they go, Bingo, my mom is hooked on that stupid game. ::sigh:: .... I dont' know why I bother.

¬_¬



Ja

Well, I didn't go to school Monday because I was running like a 101.3 fever (that's a radio station here), I wasn't feeling all that great so I didn't protest when mother told me I couldn't go to school.

I have a ton of work to make-up. Lots in Computer Science which I'm not even going to do because I think it's stupid, math I haven't even started on (this is all due tomorrow.... yeah tomorrow) and I got my Language done today and OK His... do you even care? Fine, I have homework, there!

Well, I'm feeling fine now (excuse the nose) so I went to school Tuesday. I had to go into town that day too to get some stuff. (dah with my dad) Ohhhh ok rewind. Mom and dad said that is the end of their casino deal-ii-ma-bob. Like Hell Right? Who they kidding? Well, mom is the one talking so that ain't gonna last. I don't know what's up but I know mom can't just 'not' go to the casino or bingo.

For ME I've decided to save up my money and then get a lot together (100$ or so) and go visit Drew and Tammy and then go to that Big mall down their at the capital. ^^ that will be awesome :D I've always wanted to go there. Problem is I have no way of making any money ¬_¬ it's Christmas time so.... I have no clue what odd jobs their would be ^^'

Now, where was I? Went to the store Tuesday, yesterday, and well got what 'I' (a female ::wink::) needed and then (dad following) went to check out body spray. I just wanted to get a small 2$ one. So I was looking around and my dad was behind me off to the side and I heard girls but didn't pay any mind to it. My dad says (in a hush hush tone) 'hey hey look at them!' and so I turn and look at those girls and they have their backs turned towards us, looking at body spray and items on a wall. I don't see anything odd about it, and I turn to my dad 'what?' and he kinda points and says 'their hands!' and I raise a brow and sigh cause he's annoying me and look again and one of them kinda turns and then I see that their holding hands! Yepp two girls, holding hands. I didn't think it was a big deal but my dad is weird about it. But OF COURSE they notice! Well, that one girl does anyway and they look really pissed and just walk away, around the corner. I rolled my eyes at my dad and scolded him and hit his arm then went back to looking and then I found what I wanted and those girls came and I didn't want them to think of my leaving because of them being in the same isle so I just stayed there and hoped my dad didn't make a bigger ass of himself. Left and that is that.

I have a nasty cough ^^ sounds like my smokin mother's xD o.o oh did I tell ya'll mommy made me homemade chicken noodle soup? ^^ soo much tastier then what comes out those cans >.< I had canned chicken noodle.

Umm... gahh lots of homework. Damn, I'm so lazy though. Mom lost my progress report that I got like..... Saturday? Or before and she and my father got to see it but I didnt' cause she lost it and I was really pissed at that (dont' ask) and I still haven't asked for another copy at school. -.-' forget forget.

Aaron.... Ohhh yesterday there was a basketball game ^^ highschool :D Yeah, Aaron played in the forth quarter for 4 minutes ^^' but hey! :D

Ah, my hair... damn sis hurry up with finals.. man.. I hate haveing to wait. I'm sooo impatient.

Church. Nothing much. We are going to have to sing though. So we
practiced. Aweful lol there are like... more then twice the guys then girls. They had to line up and sing Holy Night and ... Away In A
Mangier us girls were cracking up ^^ xD but then it was OUR turn!! We Were Way Worse Then The Guys! Only like 3 out of 6 could be heard... matter of fact I don't even know how many girls we had. I didn't sing at first all I could do was crack up ^^' Yea but then I sung kinda... low ha cause I have a low voice plus it didn't help any that Aaron was sitting infront of me ^^' >:D heh but when he was up their I could tell he was fidgeting under my gaze ::nudge nudge:: he didn't sing much... yep ... well...


Ja

..... ::sigh::
Well, turns out I do have the flu -.-'

Went to the ER yesterday to get eva thing checked out because I had a 102 Fever and my sister (who works at the hospital as a respotho.... ... oh those nurse people who help people breath -_-)she said that the hospital was going on an alert or something cause a new flu was breaking out and they wanted everyone to get a flu shot, so that freaked my mom out and she had to work so like 8 or something (it was early, sun just rising) mom made my dad take me into town. Yep, and it didn't take long cause it was empty yeah, I didn't want to go that early because I didn't want to miss Shaman King, but my dad made me go anyway. I got there and Sonic was on (I changed the TV channel) then I got my room and Shaman king was bout to come on. I missed some of it though, ok well probably half of it.

My doctor was really cute. His name was Jeff Golightly ^^ he was a midget like Aaron xD no! He was taller than Aaron! Aha ha Yep, he was cute cute cute ^^' and I had to be weary those gay shirts with the open backs they give you xD he said ' I know you' and I'm like 'no you don't' and he's like 'yesssss I've seen you before' and i'm like 'nope' ha ha yep but anyway, they had to shove something up my nose that tickled like hell and then I feel asleep and waited, and then that cute doctor jumped in and said 'Guess What!?' I jerk awake 'You Got The Flu' what a dork lol I asked him if he knew my sis, he said yea, and I told him that's why he probably thinks we'e meet before.

My dad took me to Wal Mart and the medican I was given was 75 dollars so... we coudln't get it. There was 2 others but I didn't want them, and I told my dad I didn't want the 75 dollar one either so we left Wal Mart after getting me some more tissues and Ginger Al. Then we went to Hastings ^^ and my dad let me get a 10$ magazine Newtype (anime baby!) and then rent a movie. xD Millennium Actress! I saw it in soo many of my anime magazines so I thought it would be cool to watch it. Well, got home and poped it in and I told my dad he was gonna watch it with me and it turns out the damn thing is only subtitled ^^' so my dad didn't watch any of it :D but I did! I'll tell'ya it's not what I expected but it is good. I want to buy it. ::has it on right now::

I was all sweating this morning, and I'm just all achy. I try not to cough cause it makes my throat hurt, but I just have all this mucus.

... My parents do have a gambling problem. -_- I'm... really worried.. Ok not really worried but worried enough. I-I was in my bed... and my mom came in the room and told me to take my temp. I asked her, and she said she was going into town and that father was going with her. -_- I asked her 'Casino?' and she said 'yes the casino!' and I'm like 'that won't help any!' her 'we're going to the casino! We Need Money!' and ... her expression... her arms went up... and... she stomped her foot... it ... really surprized me.. she actually thinks... that by going to the casino.. with 20$ that.. that she'll come out 10 fold... -_- I went out in the living room and sat down. I don't remember what I asked, maybe something like why are you going to the casino.. but she said .. 'How Else Are We Supposed To Get 400 Dollars By Tomorrow!?' ... I said... 'by not going to the casino' and she said whatever and stomped outside... dad kissed me on the head and followed... -_- they are gonna pick me up come cellery and jello (watermelon) yep, I wrote it down. Mom complained... but then asked if I wanted anything else... I swear... that woman... damn... her expression though.... she doesn't want anyone to know they go to the casino, she gets really upset and if someone calls she tells me not to tell them were they went 'it's none of their damned business!' -_- I have to make up lies... not even my sister is supposed to know... -_- I"m tired of this.... 400$... I didn't know that.... I bet they spent close to that much...

I'm not supposed to be on the computer but... I just felt like maybe someone cared to hear this.... Damn my nose is runny.... got shit in my throat.... ... everything that goes in my mouth tastes bad. But, I'll have to say that this is the best flu I've had (please no jinx) because I remember last time I had the flu, it was shots and throw up ^^'

Shit, I hope I'm feeling better by tomorrow... I don't want to miss school. Damn I don't want to miss school. -_-+ ... crap....

I need to go read my magazines.. I have so many but ^^' there are soo many pages unread ;p I've just watched the DVD that came with it ::shrugs:: weird. .... but anyway... ::light shurg::



Ja~

umm... Ok yesterday was fun. Me and my bro did the babysitting thing at my sis's place in town. (in city)Yeah, first we went into town early and went to the bank to get some money then went to the mall (we got there like 11 or so, and we didn't have to be at our sis's till 1) Yep, JC was having a big sale (I rather go to Dillards) yep and I got a OCC tee and then some ... AZ jeans.. for like 20$ ... or something.. ... yeah... around 20$ that's all my dad would give me. Cause they went to the casino and didn't have any -_-+ Yep, then went to sis's and she left and we watched Kylee (my niece that's like... around 2) It was tight, at first my brother was playing with her and I got some Pizza from the fridge and some kool-aid and put in 'How to loose a Guy in 10 days' Yeah, watched that and he was still playing with her and then she went to sleep, so I put in 'Bend it like Beckem' or whatever (watched it at school tuesday and didn't get to finish it since we got out at two) so yeah, and then I had to keep pauseing it and play with he but it was fun. Ate some more candy and kool aid. My sis works at the hospital, and she's going to school to become a doctor. My sis's husband Matt, works at JC now (after lots of months of not having a job, he can never keep one for long) yeah, and we get % off of clothes ontop of the % already off from the sale, so yea, f-in Cheap! (that's why my brother wanted to go there ¬_¬ cause he's cheap, still hasn't gotten a present for my mother for her birthday which was on the 22nd, asshole) but anyway, yeah, and we went out in the front to play with bubbles (damn that girl loves BuBBLES! ) and chalk then watched the rest of the movie and fed her and I had some cheetoes and yeah, then after that movieit was late and sis would be home in like an hour (it's like 8:00 pm) and so we put in carebears xD ahh EVIL! Yeah so I drew and ate some more cheetoes and yeah, and she got home and we left. No pay, but that's cool. Ok, today me and my brother went to my sis's parents in laws house to eat thanksgiving dinner which she invited us yesterday night. My parents don't like matt's family or matt at that so it was just me and my bro. Yep, and it was good food ^^ Kylee and me palyed. Oh matt's parents are visting someone for thanksgiving in washington or somehting so they weren't at the house. my parents went to the casino while we was there, and it was fun. Ate and played with kylee, went up stairs (they are rich) into the game room and played foose (sp?) ball with my sis and then darts with my bro, matt, sis, this guy, and myself. After that everyone left, and it was just me and my sis and matt (my bro drove his car there and I didn't want to ride with him so my mom drove the truck wiht me and my dad and my borhter folowed cause he didn't know the way to matts parents house yeah, and then my mom and dad would pick me up later once they were done at the casino) (we got at my sis's parents in law around 12:30) yeah, so I dont' know but then we watched finding nimo in that same game room which had lots of sofas and card table and a room and restroom and like... big flat screen tv and surround sound and golf thing and yeah... and then we watched some of it (like more then 30 mins) and my mom called and after that she came and got me and we went home with the food my sister packed for my mom and dad since they didn't eat. We just got home like .... well... yeah like 25 mins ago cause It took me awhile to write this ::shrugs:: yeah. my mom didn't cook which pissed me off cause this is her first year not cooking a turkey. F-in pisses me off reallly bad.Yeppers, and tomorrow we are supposed to go to drew and tammies and mom doesn't know if she'll have to work. She doesn't, but if this lady that is supposed to work (laura's mom) doesn't go and calls in sick then my mom will have to. which is fucked up because she will probaly call in sick cause this is her first time cooking and some of her family is comming. that works for me if she works cause it gives me an excuse to go bowling with the church and AARON! Yeah, but when my mom picked me up from matt's parents house she said she didn't know if we were going to go to drew and tammies because she was feeling sick. Either WAY it's all good for me. I do want to see Drew and DJ and the boys but, I also want to see... and be with Aaron..... I don't know. I don't know. I was thinking about what Aaron was doing the whole day... well not the whole day but he crossed my mind a few times ::smirks:: damn AARON!Ok, ..... tired of typing so tootles



Ja~


UPDATE!!!!
Time: 9:43PM
Turkey Day


Yes WEll!! Mom isn't feeling well still and said we aren't going to Drew's!!! I know it's wrong but xD YEA!!!!!!!!!!!! ::jumps around:: Aaron!!! I hope I'm on his team xD or by HIM!!! ^^ xD I can't wait!!! And the sale tomorrow at JC >.< My dad is taking me in the morning!!! It opens at six and my brother is leaving at five thirty yeah, but I don't think my dad and I will leave till 7 something :\ I wanted to leave at five something aswell -.-' but we have to get money over T_T only $20 xD plus what I have! 4!!! so I don't know, not much but it's a sale hey! ¬_¬ ::mumbles:: ~fucking pisses me off cause they went to the casino today and spent more then friggin 20 bucks.. assholes~ Yeppers but yeah, it's gonna be fun! I will get more then 20$ ;P because I'm spoiled and I know they have more money then that and I Will Find IT! ^^ yesers well Laura called at like eight thirty and wanted me to go over to her house to eat. I told her I already ate and just got though having dinner. I didn't want to go over cause I was tired and I did just eat (cooked mac and cheeze) yep, and we talked for a while. Did I tell you that if Jessica passed the written test and got her permit weds. that her parents were going to buy her a red sports car? Well, her and laura went and laura told me they both passed -_- little children are gonna get their liense before me xD NOT FUNNY!! Figgin hell, I need to go take mine. Hell I need to read the book -.-' Yep, but anyway Yeah later/)))



Ja Ne!

AARON!
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xD omg you don't know how happy I friggin am! I went to the basket ball game tonight at school at six. And well !! I went with Laura, and she plays so you know we had to get there early, so I was just sitting on the bleachers with some old people, I wasn't near anybody. And I saw Aaron down at the steps a good distance away from me, talking right. But I don't know when, but Aaron walked up and went past me, I was two up from the bottem, yes but he walked then he kinda glanced to his side and saw it was me and then turned more and he (with straight face) nodded to me xD! Then He Turned The Way he was walking and laughed! and then glaced back at me smiling so cutely and laughing! ^^ damn I like him soo friggin much.... I just can't help it! I was soo happy! But the other part of this story is! Ok, the guys where warming up and they did that fig. 8 thing where one side shoots lay-ups and the other's retrive the ball, yes, but they were walking in the direction I was in (ya'know what I mean) But Anyway! Aaron gave the ball to the next person or whatever like he was supposed to then walked and I was staring at him... and he was looking in my direction too! >.< I'm like '*is he looking at me? I'll just keep looking to find out*' xD and so I kept lOOKINg and he kept looking! So I'm like '*oh damn, I can't look away now!*' and he like took 4 steps still looking at me, and I didn't smile or anything, just kept a normal face and then! AND THEN!!!! HE NODDED HIS HEAD AT ME LIKE 3 TIMES AND SMILED REALLYYYYYY BIG!!!!! XD !!!!!! ALL I COULD DO WAS SMILE DUMBLY AS HE TURNED XD OMg you dont' know how happy I was!!!!! I was freaking out! But I didn't tell anyone! I dont' want them to know... Aaron might stop it if he doesn't want others to know... OH GOD you dont' know how happy I was.... I was watching him ..... the whole warm up ... and when he played... my eyes where glued on him.... damn... why do I like him so much? Who could want a boyfriend shorter then them, younger then them? ..... .... I want a boyfriend older then me, and taller then me.... I've always said that but now.. I want ... Aaron as my boyfriend... You dont' know how many times when he was on the court that I invisioned it just frezzing and everyone else was gone and I just took him in an embrace and... I did more, but I'll spare you the details xD You didn't WANT TO KNOW THAT DID YOU! Gomen! AHA HA! DAMN! WHY DO I LIKE HIM SOOOOOO FRIGGIN MUCH? ... but for real.... .. Aaron.. he's giving me all these... different signs... oh today in computer science..... my keyboard on my compuer was missing and the other ones wore broke, so there was an empty computer next to Aaron that was the only open one that worked so I sat there. He had something pulled up on his screen, and I looked at it and looked at him and raised a brow. He raised a brow. I asked ' is that Aol Instant Messanger?' he said 'no just regular mail' and kinda put his hands up, and said 'dont' read it' and I turned to my computer, ' I can't read it' he lowered his hands 'you can't?' 'no I can't see that far' cause of how it was turned and all... and I'm like 'ohhh who you writting to? your Girrrrl firend?' and I smirked, hoping to god that he said no, he did. 'no, some girl from kansas' my hand fisted 'oh, one of those girls from kansas?' and he nodded' yea' and i'm like oh... and didn't do anything and he said 'my mom doesn't like one of them' I think he was talking about that bitch blonde that drove me home and sat next to him in church.. and... grrr.. yes but that ticked me off but then the game and... he seemed... embarrased that I cought him writting to that girl. and he looked that damn thing over 7 times before sending it, fixing little things. I tried to read it, but could only decifer easy to spot words like the and hey .. yeah.... i was ticked, jealous... I'll admit that. ... :\ he's confusing.... I still remember when at church he told kim that he was working on a girlfriend and glaced at me ..... yes... I'm so confused.. .... damn I freaked out soo much ! ^^ :D AARON!!

I have to baby sit for my sister tomorrow. from 2 to 10 I think. or longer, I don't remember. It woudl just be me, but My mom didn't want me with a 1-2 year old all by myself, and so my brother and i will be there.

Friday, is the day that we are going down to Drew and Tammies, remember? DJ, yea... that is the day we are supposed to go anyway... and fricking hell fucking luck, why the hell am I a rabbit? Friggin Friday is when the CHURCH GOES BOWLING! F-IN HELL! Aaron will be there, and not that many older youth kids get to go... and it's Friday at 2 .... shit.. ... my mom said I have a choice.... damnit... I really want to go see Drew and Tammy the boys and expessily DJ... it's just so easy to talk to him. My 'ex' lol .. he is cool. Damn,..... I think they will be really hurt.... but i've worked hard at geing eligable to go bowling... and Aaron asked me if I was going, I said yes... and he did his little nod and grin thing... damn I love that.... .. shit... ... I don't know.... I do know. I'm going to miss bowling... I see Aaron at school all the time... but DJ is far away... I don't have a choice... not in my heart.. it feels right being with DJ and his family.. and Aaron.... well that is a treat... but.... it's right to choose ... the trip to Drew's house... right? ...... ... My mom isn't cooking thrusday.... she said we can't afford it yet, she went to the casino today and I know they spent well over 20$ and a turkey only costs 15$... that's a bunch of shit.. i think she is doing that cause we are having thanksgiving on friday at our friends but still... this wil be the year she breaks cooking..... I don't want that to happen..... .. why does that bother me?...

Bowling... maybe aaron will take me on a date bowlinbg ;P wow did I just jinx myslef or What!

thanks for reading




Ja Ne~

Fucking Lazy
Gezz... so many things, Ok since I'm so retarded, whenever I thought about writing about somethin in my journal, I wrote it down >.< ! And I know that I'm STILL gonna leave stuff out! This is before school, so lets see how much I can squeeze in.

Now, I don't know if this is still going on, but like last week (-.-') that town that we go into all the time (30 mins away) had some foreign guests :D Japanese guests! Yes, a few of buisness guys ^^ I didn't get to run into them but they where on the news :D I think they said something and then I know they said that one of the things they didn't like was that it was hard for them to get around >.< that the city was confusing! xD TOKYO is wayyy Bigger then that City! But I think that's just soo awesome. The dudes English on TV wasn't that great and they where all scary looking but still! :D what is Japan thinking? ^^ I hope it's nothing bad.

Ok, Sunday at church, everyone was back. There were some girls from Kansas that came back (I think that's where their from) -_-+ they were tall and didn't look friendly. -_-+ once they came in Aaron had a smile on his face and they all went up and hugged the 'cutie' -_-+ he put an arm around as a hug. But anyway -_-+ they were flirting with him.. and .. some time later.... this girl said something and class had already started and Aaron didn't hear (man I was mad at this part!) and so he leaned in T.T and she whispered in his ear, then Aaron replyed and she couldnt' hear so he whispered in her ear ::SOB!!!:: TT_TT and then... she did it again and he did it again then she did it again and then they stopped and I could tell Aaron was holding back a blush (that bitch) .. ::clears throat:: no I can't feel that way... I dont' even know the girls' names. (¬_¬ don't really care) yes, but then we ate (had snacks cause they got back safly) and well... -_- Aaron crumpled up this plastic paper and hit a girl in the face with it lightly. she's all 'ah!' and looked for it and gave him a playful glare ::fume:: -_-+++++ yes and Aaron Chuckled ;_ ; and she threw it back and Aaron did it again, (this was to the other girl over the table) and then Aaron did it to the blonde next to him -_- and she did it back and ... yes.... -_- again and again -____- jealous any? XD FUCKING YES I'M JEALOUS!!!!!! They said that last year Aaron had all babes on him and then when they were telling their story that Aaron had babes all on him -_-+ so... that is giving me second thoughts on if I should date him... if what the story about his father cheating on his mother is ture, and if he still does it, then ... Aaron might know and think ... that's just what guys do or something and not think cheating is soo... disgraceful then.... maybe he would cheat if we went out -_- I don't know.... I don't trust him now. ¬_¬ but anyway not to waist more time on the subject -_-

Aaron was really fricking hyper yesterday at school (ya'know I enjoyed it ;}) In math, I have this desk that like I don't know, somehow is in the process of breaking and is really lower then the other desks. I like it cause it tilts back ^^ so I trade who ever gets it, desks with them. Since I'm next to Aaron I was Shorter Than Him In that Desk! lol yes and anyway, out of the f-n blue he leaned in towards me and said 'I'm Hyper' ^^' thump thump thump right? (heart) and I was just bout to fall at his words lol yes but anyway xD HE FUCKING WAS HYPER! Damn, I dont' know but him and Jeff (jeff sits next to him) was being sick xD we had science and we watched a video about ::trys not to laugh:: sliding and fluid friction ^^' and well xD Aaron laughed so I turned to him (ok back in math now)I turned to him and he saw me and was still laughing and Jeff was laughing and then Aaron's like 'oh Buda, watch this, hey jeff buda wants to see' I"m like o.O' and anyway, Jeff's like (aaron leans back -.-') and jeff 'remember how we learned about sliding friction? he's an example ' -_-+ and he stuck his pencil though his notebook hole xD! They cracked up! I was like >:O JEFF !!! AARON DONT' LAUGH! ' lol yea, but yea and Damn aaron ^^ just sittin next to him I love.

shit school.. I'll have to finish this later.


Ja~

.... dang getting lazy.

Umm... freak, I keep forgetting what I want to type in here damnit >:\

Ok well freakin hell, I'll just start off at random things I remember -.-'

Ok first off, (well not first but whatever) the day before church, which would of made it Tuesday, Jessica told me something that I didn't believe at first and it shocked me and I still can only assume and well... let me get to that. Ok, Jessica told me that Aaron's dad cheated on his wife. I don't know the story and I asked Jessica why she told me this and she said, 'because you acted like you didn't know' Out of the fucking blue if you ask me. OK, she said something about his dad meeting this lady on the computer and it was all friendly emails at first then I don't know, someone went somewhere and then something. She all told me this in like not even 5 minutes so you know the story has to be screwed up. Something that Jody (Aaron's mom) found an e-mail that was sent to that lady Aaron's dad had been talking to, and said that he wrote that it was the happiest 19 days of his life and the lady wrote that too and then she said that that lady had been tring to get Aaron's dad to devorce but he wouldn't and I have no fucking clue. yeah, and Jessica told me that the lady he was cheating with was a fat, really white, pale ugly lady. I dont' know. Sounds fucked up to me. I didn't believe it at first but then started thinking, and still came up undecided and stoped thinking about it. She said this happened when they were all in 6th grade, 3 school years ago. .....
Now the second half of the story, Wedensday, I was running late for church. Ok I won't lie, I completely FORGOT about church and was talking on the computer. My mom woke up and said 'I"m surprized you didn't go to church' -.-' yeah, I freaked out, it was already 20 after and that meant I was 20 minutes late already, yes but back to, yea. I was all hectic and running all over the place. Dad droped me off and no one was outside and I like to make my dad laugh so I threw my hands up in the air and ran to the door as he drove off. I reached the steps and was at the door and I flung it open and there is this little room, our chruch is way small, and it was a couch and a tiny coffee table and a rocking recliner and like... that talbe thing where you put money in it and a nother table with broyshers on it, yeah, but anyway, I walked in panting somewhat and I looked to my right (couch on the right) and I saw a familer face. Aaron's dad. Aaron's dad was at the end, arm on the back of the seat like most guys do and other arm in his lap/arm rest and then there was another part to this, there was a lady next to him! A white lady (Aaron's dad is Indian and his mom is white, making Aaron really damn cute) ... but you might think 'ahh that don't mean nuttin' but... what cought my eye was the way she sat. She sat close to him, meaning she was in the middle leaving the end open and they where the only ones in the room, and she had her knees towards him. :| towards him! >_< I think that is... fucking weird because Jessica just told me about this shit and the next day I see it first hand!I look at him and keep walking, he goe's ' Buda!' ya'know teasing because I was running late and the lady just looked at me mouth ajar like 'you know her?' and I just smiled and shook my head and trotted down the hall....... I couldn't believe it, I just bout tripped down the stairs thinking about what I had just saw. -_- .... I don't know. ... maybe.. maybe that was the reason behind the way Aaron acted... like he was thinking all the time... that was what? 2 weeks ago? a week? .. then Jessica was all smiling and happy when she told me, I swear that girl is odd. .. maybe she was lying and she said, out of the blue that I acted like i didn't know aobut the cheating think 3 years ago, which I didn't and she told me and... well... put 2 and 2 together right? ... .. I dont know.. I wish aaron would talk to me. Damn I like him soo much.... ... Aaron... oh fuck done it again and forgot..

Aaron.......



Ja ~

I love online-radio! Woot Anime Radio! Live365.com. Go on, check it out, you know you want to. ::smirks:: I love that station. They have some good J-rock station on that site too.

Well, School is going good. I need to concentrate on my studies more :\ -_- I forgot to go bowling on Monday, FREE bowling thru the school -.-' oops. I like to bowl lots, kinda feel stupid that I forgot.

Aaron, goodness. He is so cute. It's strange, I don't know. It seems, well like last week he was in thought and now... I don't know. I just wish I was closer to him, so I could be there and have that connetion with him to where he could confide and trust in me. -_- I just want to be close to him.

My sister, well I don't know. I haven't talked to her so I don't know if she has made my hair appointment yet or not. I hope so. I want to get it dyed before next Friday. Next Friday we (my family: Mom, Dad, Bro and myself) are going over to Drew and Tammie's house, Ya'know, those long-lost friends of ours? Yeah, that's them. That live near Oklahoma City, like well over an hour from where I am now, yeah. We are going over there for Thanksgiving dinner thing or something. I dont' know if that's Thanksgiving Day ^^' Yeah :D I want to surprize DJ! Yep, DJ is Tammies son, and Drew's step son. I used to date DJ when I was 9. We are close. I always went over to their house when we lived in the same city. Yep. So I think we are pretty close. I was a big'ol tomboy and we played sports, horsed around and what not. Yeah, now it's different. I think I surprized DJ with how I looked. All make-up and stuff lol yeah, and how I didn't want to get mud on my wayyy cool waay pretty red nike shoes ^^' yep :D but now I'll have red hair when I see them all again! Oh yea! (BTW their family: DJ, 14, Blake, 10, Jeb, 9, Sammy, 3, and then Drew and Tammy, and they have 2 dogs I think. I think the ages are correct.) My sister is having tests in college or whatever, she's becomming a doctor, so she can't make the appointment the days of her tests or before her tests because she needs to study.

I need to get that tan deal from her (free tan for a week thing) so I can get darker! Tan! xD Burn most likely! xD

No, I'll be careful. Laura, today after school, went to the dentist to get her two bottem teeth pulled out, and they are going to have to put stiches in her gums or something. Yep, I don't know if she is getting her bottem braces today or not.

Me and Jessica are back to joking around again. I'm glad, but... still .... dissapointed that she hasn't apologized to me... just goes to show you... well.. I dont' trust people and it's things like that that give me my reasons.

I love the manga Bremen, I read it at school in Computer Science class (4th hour) and Yearbook (7th hour) I'm hoping I can get this tan before this 9 weeks is up so I can switch my computer class to 5th hour so I can have gym 4th hour. I don't take gym because I don't like having to change out, mostly because you change out into shorts. So, I'm thinking, once I get this tan, I'll like my body more. Strange no?

Damn whoever read this far, thank you alot. Ok... I've been going to Neopets.com alot too. I don't know why I'm going to that site alot now. I used to be hooked on it. Yep, I have 2 pets. I like some of the games there. It's a challenge. I really want to improve my writing skills so I can become a novalist. It will also help my income and help me improve my story lines of my mangas that I'll create xD Damn! HOPE I DIDN'T JUST JINX MYSELF! ^^' I do that alot xD

Ok I'll shut up for now.



Ja~

Well, yesterday I choked on some water :\ I was drinking and decided to inhale and well yeah, I coughed it back up and my thoat feels like it's swallen inside, yeah meaning it hurts :|

Umm, got 2 new magazines, bought Cardcaptor Sukura Movie 1 Sunday.... School is going.. alright.. math is killing me. Aaron isn't though ^^ :\ naw, he's 14 ^^' 2 years younger than me xD damnit! Naw ^^ my daddy is 2 years younger than my mom >xP

Umm.... yeah, I've been listening to this radio station all friggin, well not all day, for like a long time though, over an hour. ^^ my brother said he would burn me some music at his work :\ Yeah, I don't know if I should chance it -_-+ he will probably throw it back up in my face -__-

o.o Oh, my mom decided not to pay the cable bill (naw she forgot ^^') so we won't have cable till Thursday :| which doesn't bother me too much.

I had to walk in the rain today to school, it was only a light drizzle. Got home and my mom and brother and dad was in the first room and my mom said, 'before you come in I want you to know that we won't have cable till Thrusday, so..' than my brother cut in 'cause she forgot to pay the cable bill!' then my mom 'so if you are gonna gripe about missing your shows you can just go back outside' -_-' ^^ and I said 'well, I would be mad if my shows weren't on reruns xD ' mwha! evil meanies. O.O ohz I forgot ^^

Last night Brook came over o.o like at ... after 9 .. I dont' know, I went to bed and was asleep and my mom yelled, 'Buda! there is a guy at the door for you!' and I got up, 'how is it?' I'm thinking, Anton, Brook or Aaron. 'he said he's here for his CD's' I"m like =_= meh Brook, so I"m all in my shorts and I don't like showing off my nice white hairy legs ^^' (too many details?) so I just peeked around the cabinate and saw it was him, it was dark so I bearly could see from where I was, plus I just woke up, so I'm all zombie like and got the CD's I could find and went back down the hall and gave them to my mom, he said 'is that all of them?' I said 'I think so' ^^' I'm all looking drugged cause I juse woke up xD and he leaves and I go back to bed, and hear him come to the door again, and then my mom came to my room and told me that he said that was all the CD's xD Anton had the rest. Anton brought Linkin Parks CD, ummm that remix one that's orange to school and lost it xD and Brook hasn't noticed yet ^^' >.< Anton said not to say anything cause he's gonna buy him a new one, that he just doesn't have the money yet lol what a dope ^^'

Umm.... .. I haven't been playing FF7 or Forever Kingdom, yeppers so yeah. O.o oh... oh ^^' nvm xD I already wrote about the clean up at the creek ^^''xD xD >.< XD
-_-'''' ::rubs back of head:: ^^'' ha ha ha >.>'

Yes well, Aaron ... aaron aaron aaron ^^ goodness that boy xD Goodness goodness goodness.... gess I like him -_- .... Aaron damnit.... kiss me will ya xD make the first move I'm too chicken!


Ja Ne xD~

Well, that dude just left awhile ago, meaning our heater is fixed! x.x I need to take off some of these closes ^^'

o.o School went good. Anton came over and we watched some anime previews off this awesome FREE DVD that I got in the mail like last month or last last month. Yeah, my mom gave him some cookies that she made yesterday, and he originally came over to get my TRAPT CD (Brook's CD >.>) to use at our basketball games, for the boys, as they came out. So yeah, he got it and left and I said I wasn't going and told everyone I wasn't going and ended up going ^^' :D I got there like way early and didn't have to pay heh heh yeah, we lost both. High School girls and boys. The boys' game was awesome! xD dang it was awesome! ^^ We was like just a tad ahead, then we tired, then we was a head then we ever so slowly fell behind and then it was just obvious that we was loosin ^^' naws it was tight.

I want to go play my game, Forever Kingdom. Oh yeah, Anton is borrowing Kingdom Hearts, and Amy want's to borrow that then I told her I had Lunar 2 and now she wants to borrow that more, so yea, and I'm gonna borrow FF7 from her ^^ she said she has all FF xcept 3 o.o ::shrugs:: I once, last year, downloaded FF one, on the computer. It was for game boy. I did'nt know how to save so dah I didn't get far at all ^^' it was weird.

o.o I dont' know, I'm tired and... like my journal? ^^ what about my new avatar? :D yes well anyway, I thought I would keep my face thing, since I like it soo much ^^'



Ja Ne~

^^ :D all the comments! Thank You!

Sooo how ya'z like my new journal layout? ^^' ::rubs back of head:: xD I Saw Someone Else's Journal Like This And Liked It So I'm Like HEY! >.< lol xD gomen person! But it's tight and TY for the idea ^^'

Yes, well the heater part has not come in yet, but we have this other heat-like thing on the wall that uses propain and well the dude got that working so it is warmer, well near that thing anyway. ¬_¬ but that thing hasn't been used in years and it had tons of dust and dog hair in it and that fire burned all that shit and x_x that SMELL! >.< iiieee ickie man. Gross, I hate that smell.... -.-'

Well, I FINNALY DID HOMEWORK! ^^ my mom was bakein cookies in the kitchen o.o so I stood and did it on the breakfast wooden thingie, heat from oven. Yes. It was math ^^' easy math xD but I got lazy and didnt' finnish it all! ^^' I have other homework o.o but I ain't even gonna look at it. Been playing Forever Kingdom and I got past that part and another part and now I'm at this other part, this hill place and these frickin trees and blue org troll guys keep wackin the shit out of me and throwing dark shit at me and killin me off ._. -.- but anyway ^^' I played it and looked at the clock o.o Ooo past 10 (tring to get to bed around 10, since shows are reruns, Adult Swim) yes and then turned everything off and went to the computer then I'm like ._. my mom is on the phone ^^' so I go back and turn the game back on and well then get killed and say the heck with it, turn it off and come out here and she gets off and I get on and I fix my journal layout cause I had it all gay lookin and my dad made me get off and I had to leave it that way. I'm gonna change my avatar too'z. Well,... I'll have to find a picture... humm'z I like this whatever it is, I don't know, might just keep it and change Mizu to Buda ^^ since that is my name :D

Yes, dang that smell. Umm.... school.. went ok... umm... oh Rich Girls. I love that show! I just saw it today on MTV. Man, I would love to have money like them ^^ tightness xD I will one of these days! YOU JUST WAIT. I'LL HAVE TONS OF MONEY YEP YEP!!! ::nods:: yep yep.

Yep Yep it's late ^^' o.o spelling test tomorrow sixth hour, then a verb test right after that. Had a science test first hour, wasn't too hard, ok not really hard at all... umm... OKHistory we still watchin that movie.. umm... crap I still dont' remember the name... something about Oklahoma Territory, and that stake race N stuff (BTW I live in OK if ya'z didn't know) math went fine, computer science we had a pretest .__. eek for the test we are taking tomorrow ^^' note to self, study for that xD naw! I made a 91! Woot ^^' easy shit. o.o Laura made a 64 or something xD HA HA! -_- me and Jessica talk.. kinda, but she's like a stranger to me... we don't talk much at all... we avoid each other's gazes... -_- we won't be as close as before, and to be honest, I don't want to be. She proved to me that she's not a true friend. If she really cared, and really didn't mean to shoot me in the eye, then she would of followed me and kept asking if I was alright, even though she knew I wasn't.... -_- that is a true friend I think, and she proved that she wasn't a true friend... Laura and I still talk. I think she thinks I don't want to be friends with her because of Jessica, it's just I'm lazy and well, she takes forever in the morning, and I like to leave eariler (we usually walk together or get a ride together) yeah, I don't know. We walk home together and talk. Oh BTW, this is just odd and I thought about it. In every class I have a seat right by Laura, Jessica is not by me at all, she is atleast one desk away.. usually more then one desk, ok only one class is she one desk away, sixth hour English. Yeah... it's weird. I don't know. Oh, we are getting a loan or something. 50,000. Yeah... I was like, yeah right but we are. ^^' That ain't that great though, cause we paying off the house, bills, and buying a storm celler and we will only have like 3,500 left :| which I think is messed up ^^' oh well -.- my parents are probaly going to blow alot on the casino -_- a hurndred maybe.. more... eekk I dont' know -_-+

Yes ack ok, oh that dude Brook. Anton said he was going to England, and to bring the CD's to school. I did, and Anton said he had already left and is in England with his brother. Brook is a druggie and I think he's gonna try to clean up his act at his brothers. Well, anyway, I dont' know where Brook is all I know is he left his CD's with ME and Anton! ^^' yes I know xD but I LOVE them!. OH my sis's kid's b-day is comming up. I'm supposed to get my hair done before that. We are supposed to get the money next week. Yea, anyway...


Ja Ne~

>.< I really don't think Aaron likes me. :| he seems in thought alot... I don't know why... he doen't talk to me as much.. and well I don't know... but he sure does look cute as ever ;p

Math is soo frickin comfusin @.@ ^^' I had to turn in my work like 1/3 completed xD! Naw ::rubs back of head:: like 2 papers where near finished and the other two o_o well lets just say one would qualify for 1/3 and the other not even that ^^'

Our OKHistory teacher left the copy of the test at his home so we watched a movie. Tomorrow is the test and after we complete it we get to watch the movie. I dont' remember what it's called. My RP buddy hasnt' been talking to me and it's really ticking me off.

I'm playing a chess game with my daddy and then this Heater A/C dude came to turn on our Heater. I dont' know, like the pilet light keeps going out. He got it working though and left, and said something about checking up on it, so I still dont' know ^^' o.o yeah but anyway,

Oh yea, my sister called and my mom wasn't home so she talked to me. It was when my dad was talking to that Heater guy and wasn't paying any attention to me ^^' but anyway :D she said she's getter her hair highlighted tomorrow and she is gonna make an appointment for me for 2 weeks from now ^^ can't wait! I'm wanting to get it, red, burgendy, blonde highlighted, with maybe black tips here in there, and maybe a few black streaks >.< I soo want to do this! My mom doesn't have the money right now so that's why I'm gettin it later, and cause you have to have an appointment ^^' o.o Yeah, right now I have my hair like the ends curled out, and my bangs are over my right eye kinda and well I think it looks alrighty, but my mom and dad give it a thumbs down T.T ^^' oh well it don't matter, I like it, well kinda ^^''

o.o anyway, I dont' remember all I was gonna write so I'm gonna go finish my chess game with my daddy so ...


Ja Ne~

Well, surprize surprize.

(wrote long entry yesterday, scroll'z down)

Ok, got up and watched Digimon. Then me and my dad went into town. My CD player wasn't working (the only one I have, the one Jessica and Laura bought for me) and so we had to get more batteries for it.

Went to Hastings. Ok, something I forgot to write about yesterday. When we went to Hastings, well, I saw this magizine with a cute guy on it that had spiked hair. I'm like o.o Ooo yummie right? And well, he didn't look like anyone off of TV that I saw so I'm like 'what kind of magizine is this o.O?' and so I approach it, and there is this lady over by that area and well I go and grab the magizine, and flip it open. O.O xD I saw tongues and guys! xD it was a gay magizine! Man I shut that thing fast! That lady all eyed me I was like ^^' heh heh heh oops! and just was laughing and walked away xD lol naw Ya'Know I wanted to go and buy it! xP! heh ::rubs back of head:: anyway >.>'

Yeah went there today and ._. I went to the music part and saw this guy looking at me cause I had to walk by him to get to the rock section.. and well... I like was looking at music and he all walked by me and then I left the rock section and went to soundtracks and he was behind me slowly getting closer, I didnt' run. I just looked at them and went down the row slowly and he was like 4 or 5 people from me! Freak! He was like old 20's or 30's ::shivers:: talk about freakin me out. Went to the magizines again ^^' and went to the anime part and well I got done with the magizines and went towards books and there he was! Looking at me making his way towards magizines. So anyway I'm like ¬_¬ 'pervert' and just kept walking. Got to manga and then like a few mins (more then 5) that dude all walks by the manga slowly and looks at me x_X so I leave and go to 'How to draw Manga' books. Look at them then hear someone so I thought it was him and so I walked down and found my dad (in the like coin books and stuff) and so I stayed by my dad and that dude didn't come but then I went and got my 'How to Draw Manga, Bodies & Antamony' and we all went to leave and that dude passes us and looked down at the ground near me and I all turned and pointed 'That's him dad!' lol naw it wasn't loud. Yeah but yeah...

Got that then went home and (A Chinese lady owns that Hastings, well she's the maneger) yes well got home and was all looking at my book then watched TV for like a loong time ^^' well long time for me :D like 2 hours no more then 2.5 but yeah, I saw someone at the porch and a blue old truck so I didn't know who it was so I went in the hallway and met my dad there and he said it was for me. I'm like 'who is it?' 'I don't know, some guy' I'm like o.o` Ooo... so I turn the corner and boom. Brook was on our porch! ^^ I'm like o.o 'Brook'... and went up to the screen ^^' he wanted his AFI CD xD ! I'm like xD Ok I'll go get it. Got it and handed it to him ^^' dang I can't believe you. Do you want your other CD's? 'no' ok... 'bye' umm ._.' bye.... ::slight wave:: .__. xD gezz that guy! Lol naw. Yeah I coudln't believe he came to my house for one CD ^^' how did he know I lived there! XD naw he probaly went to Anton's house and got my address from him. Well, I'm like dad that's brook ^^' and brook, had black nails, sunglasses, and a red shirt with like white yellow strips hoz across it ^^' cuteness xD but anyway, before he turned and left he's like' Your bossy' xD! lol ^^' I know I am xD

>.< Spoiled as heck! but anyway yes well.. gonna go cook some eggs cause I'm crazy hungry and we have no food in here xD so anyway, takl ta ya's later'z ^^''' I love comments o.o


Ja Ne~

I love Evaescence.... damn.... this music.... Rock.... .. these people have something special about them... to be able to touch people in such a way to sooth and calm them, excite them, make them feel free.... ... it calms me down, but makes me feel lonely... it reminds me that I'm alone, but it gives me a chance to dream....

Last night went great.... I do like Brook. He is 20 so I won't admit it... I found out that he's full blooded Creek Indian... damn he's like over a head taller then me -_- I think he may like me too... well.. at least wants to use me ^^' >_> I love his music (this is his CD) I love his muisc, and how he is. He's 20 but you wouldn't be able to guess... he doesn't hang with the older people at the creek, he hangs with us... 16 year olds...

There is a tent, yeah remember? Yes well it's up hill and me and Anton are down that small hill and are in that clown cage (was awesome last night, we got a lot of people. This one group went though, like 3 girls and 2 guys, and one of the girls had a cam corder, and couldn't keep that damn thing still, but anyway, one girl got freaked out and Anton got too close and got smacked hard right in the nose! Ha, I didn't see it but I heard that girl yell 'Oh My God! I'm Sorry! I Hit Someone In The Face! Sorry Person!!' heh anyway <.<) He had some little (Brook) speakers that hooked up to his CD player so I would go up there, with Anton (told him I didn't want to be left alone with Brook) and all changed his CD's that he had in it and stuff, and Brook was all cool about it. Ok, like not last night but the night before, Brook would like grab my sides -_-+ In a attempt to tickle me I think, it kinda hurted, yeah, but anyway, we was by the fire and Brook came up and he was changeing the music for me (the fire had gone out, changed it to PaPa Roach) and the wood and ashes where all glowing and smoking, so I'm like 'you said you would restart the fire' I smiled, he always does stuff for me. I complain so much and am so lazy... I'm surprized he put up with me. He smiled and shook his head. 'gahh ok you wanted the CD changed! I'm comming!' all I could do was smile to myself. He came up behind me and wraped his arm around my neck with his right arm (not too hard) and pulled me back -_- enough to make me feel like I was falling and was off balance, and he all tried that tickle thing again with his left hand -_- it kinda hurt -.- I'm so boney ^^' no I got meat but everyone doesn't see it xD I do have a gut! But anyway, he let go and I just was like mouth open, and he broke off a twig and leaned over the fire, blew on it and flames all shot out I was like O_O and he just poked it with the stick and blew for a while and got it started again I just smiled... He is so kind to me... I love Indians.... -_- I love Aaron's family ... I love them all... I love going to church and spending time with everyone, even if I'm over looked .... I just like being there... around them... but anyway back to Brook ^^' heh ... oh BTW brook had on this white starle doctors suit thing like over his cloths, ya'know those really thin things just to keep germs off... yeah and his lips where black, and he had black all around his eyes with lines going down them... above his eye brow and like some ways down his cheek. Hott... well.. I like the guy off the Crow (he has that soundtrack) yeah.. but anyway, .... before that, (yeah this ain't in order) we was down at the little place where they pay to come in, we was on break, the place had like drinks and chicken there and candy that we got free, and it's just a crappy wooden thing that you stand under, lined with christmas lights (icicle) but anyway, I brought down Brook's CD player and then I got me some water, and the water was icy (it was cold outside too) and anyway, it was dripping with cold water so I was just all holding it at the cap and Brook walked by, I just looked at him and held up the water. He's like 'what?' I'm like 'it's cold' ::smiles:: then he all sighed and made a face annoyed face (I know it well now) and took it from me and whipted it off using his shirt... I was soo surprized he did that! I just looked at him like he was stupid ^^ and he handed it back towards me, and I reached out and just held it, and he's like 'what? you want me to open it too?' I laughed and he chuckled, I said no and thanks, and he walked off. So I set it on the table, hoping no one would get it, (only had one free hand cause of the CD player) and then I just stood around then got me some rice and chicken that Aaron's Grandpa made I think, and started chowing down. Then everyone was getting ready to go in our spots cause we had some more groups that wanted to go though and so anyway, Brook came up to me and said ' you ready? we're going' and I'm like 'my water' and he's looks and sees that I don't have it 'where is it?' 'somewhere on the table' so he turns and gets it, then turns to me, holding it out, I just look at him 'I can't carry it and this together, smiling on the inside again he just sighs and shakes his head, hiding a smirk and carries it for me, so we walk there and we get to the cage and I set my water on the ground and give him his CD player back, I was sitting down and he's like really tall and I just took it off and bearly lifted it, he sighed and said dang, and bent down to get it ::smirks:: I like him. yeah but anyway, ::trys to think of what else happened:: anyway, there is this little girl that is up there working with brook, and this dude named kyle (the black one, no offense) but kyle was never up there cause brook doesn't like him, and kyle knew that. He's like related to the Indians, the only black person that is in the jr high/high school. Yeah. But anyway, Anton was going somewhere, and I was sitting inside the tent like right next too Brook, who was laying down, legs up like his legs was by me and his head was infront of me... well kinda.. he wasn't like up against me.. but yeah. It wasn't dark in there cause of the fire.. gahh it made it nice and warm.. all glowy but anyway, that girl went with Anton, I tired to perswad her to stay, but she doesn't like rock and left with Anton (she was like 10 or so? I think younger, yea, like 8? no... older? I don't know) but anyway, I didn't want to seem dumb, so I just stood there and started talking, hopping he woudlnt' try anything. (Oh like last last night, we had waklie talkies out there and him and Anton was all saying that I had them hand cuffed and stuff ^^' it was funny xD but not true!!anyway,...) I asked him what other anime's he had. He's into anime, he's seen a ton of animes >.< makes me jealous! He has them on DVD too. They are in Chinese though... I wonder where he gets them. Does he know Chinese? Dought it, subtitles ^^' anyway.. My hair was red and spiked up really good, and I had a black circle going around my right eye and lines right under my eyes then some black tears and then on my left eye I had a large line going down, that was above my eye too. Yeah but anyway (gahh you dont' know how many trees I hit with my hair! I didn't get stuck though ^^' o_o I did in the cage though xD the plastic straps they walk through got wraped around my spikes >.< it hurt!) anyway, we are alone remember? me and brook, ya ok. Oh, I had like a smile painted by my mouth too, with a stripe down the middle of my lips -.-' and brook said that my line on my lips was all crooked. And he was chuckleing as he said it, and he showed me on his face, pointed to his lips, 'one is here and the other is here' and he was laughing, and I was like 'oh really? heh oh well' and I smeared my lips together, and he said 'you just made it worse' and laughed, 'they are here' and gahh I just froze, and pulled my face back slightly as he raised his hand to my face, warm hands, and touch my lips ::smirk on face:: and said 'here' pressed on my lip' and here' then pulled his hand away. I'm like 'really?' and was all blushin, and blinking, then tried it again, smeared my lips together and he laughed again, then proped up on an elbow, I was really freakin now, and he put his fingers on my lips again, smiling, 'now here and here' heh. I pulled away and brushed his hand away, playing it cool (heh as cool as i could ^^'') and said 'oh well' kinda chuckling and just smudged it away with my sweater, hoping it would just come off. He laughed anding and pocked my chin, 'now it's smeared on your chin' i'm like 'ger-raw' and rubed my chin and lips with my sweater arm. He just smilied. Yeah... then Anton came, and said what cha'll doing? and Brook's like, 'she had me in handcuff's again man, I was feeling all violated' and then i'm like 'anton! do I have anything on my chin?' Brook cracked up and anton looked at me, 'no, I don't see anything' and the looked to brook then walked like by the fire or something, I looked to brook and he looked to anton 'man.. do you get it? I just said she had me handcuffed and she just asked if she had stuff on her chin and' laughs' that doesn't sound right!' I all smilied to my self, feeling dumb, I said 'ya ya ha ha I get it' lol and anton just made a loud 'cha' smiling and stuff and ok before that ^^' (see not in order) the batteries died and brook said there where more in his bag so I just lifted it and threw it down infront of my knees (he's laying down, i'm like sittng with my legs at my side away from him) he sighs and got in his bag 'all you had to do was look for them' he has a sponge bob bag -_- gay. anyway he got them, and all i saw was one battery so I just got that one that I saw and the other fell and he's like 'gezz girl' and it feel ^^' like infront of my knees and rolled towards me xD ' i'm like oops sorry only saw one' and went for the battery but his hand beat mine and he got it ^^' naw he didn't touch nuttin, and he handed it towards me. I took it and switched them out. and yea anyway i'm getting tied so to cut out some details, that was the end of that and ... he pretened to slap me before too, like how guys do, and yeah.. he let me borrow his cd's again... gosh... till like next sunday or something cause he doesn't go to church ... yeah.. ok

Now today. Digimon had a marathon or something. Oh lastnight I saw on mtv this one show, I don't know.. umm.. .. college rooms and that guy goes through the rooms and picks a girl but anyway, this one girl had a room full of anime ^^ awesome. but anyway, i was watching umm... digimon and it was a comicial and so i turned it to mtv and that part, her room, was like amost bout to be on so I taped it xD she had like les stuff on the walls and like this mag with nude gays i think but anyway i taped it and i haven't watched all of it cause i'm going though it in slow-mo xD I'm not a sick o! she has some tight posters. yeah anyway, watched that, and me and my dad went to town like around one and we went to toco bell and there is that one girl. i've said this before, well wrote this in here, but anyway I swear she's bi or lez. damn, she was mooping and shes' like from india or something, cubbie, not too pretty.. but anyway, she smiled at me and my dad was next to me and anyway we ordered, and i was looking at the couter top (ya'know how they have those like mats and stuff) but anyway she was talking to me and i didn't notice ^^' so I looked up and she was looking at me and i'm like 'oop' and she was all studering, and i'm like *too close* lol even though there was a counter, but ya, she's like 'that was beef right?' and like o_O` nooo that was chicken o_o' she's like oop umm ok let me go over here and change it' so she got a card and came back, i wasn't saying nuttin and she changed it and was mutting something, and she said sorry about this i just beef and then chicken i though beef and you know a... ' im' like ' .__.'' and she said sorry again, i'ml ike 'it cool' and all looking around, she fixed it and i'm like a drink too and then my dad left and left me up there alone, and (no one else in line) she got the cup, and the ticket was poping up, and the cup fell over and she's like 'oops' i'm like -_-+' and she turned the cup upright and i reached for it and she turned her hand and it hit mine -_-++ and then i all held the cup, and the ticket came up and she got the change like a nickle and penny, and she picked up the ticket and said 'your number is 161, thank you' and -_-+ touched my hand again when she handed me the ticket, then i held out my hand for the change, and moved it away from hers but it didn't help -.- she like pushed her fingers into my palm when she gave me the change -_-+ and then we ate and she was mooping and like mooped right next to my foot! not my dads but mine! and was right behind me mopping and then she was like at the end of the row of table mopping and i was so tring not to glare at her but she was right there in the corner of my eye and was like wring out the mop and was staring our way! I don't know if it was at me or the soda machine to my right but -_-+ i sooo was annoyed ^^' lol yeah, oh well... damn... yeah.. went to hastings and i just looked at the mangas, i didn't read any. they used just to get tokyopop but now they are getting different brands :D coolz! yeah then checked out their anime dvd's then the rock music. got home and went to bed. i like fell asleep in the car. :\ i only got less then 6 hours of sleep, cause i had to watch my shows ^^' yeah... woke up and x_x was soo fricking tied i bearly could walk -_- yeah i'm tired now and i have to watch digimon tomorrow morning T.T

-.- this is long eh? :\ yeah... umm.. tring to think.... oh.. aaron didn't say hi to me... yeah. i was hanging out with anton and grook last night, since jessica wasn't there (party with laura) but brook does drugs.. and .... stuff... so .. i don't trust him... but he didn't do .. well i didn't catch him doing drugs out there. he smoked, but he's 20 so he can.. yeah... but when it was all over he tossed his white suit into the fire... coolz I like watching stuff burn.. yeah... i'm not a psycho....

dang... my brother wants on.. he said he needs to get on before 11 or 12.. it's 11 like something he says, the computer says 10:59 anyway, he wants me off now and just cause my brother wants me off my mom is tellng me to say bye to everyone and just get off -_-+ fucking pisses me off. if i get off 1 min before 12 then i will still be doing ask my brother asked -_- ... yeah... damn this music.. i love it... yes well.. i'm pissed so i'm gonna go jam in my room and go watch that tape in slow-mo... and think about brook naw lol... damn i don't think aaron likes me... fuck... oh well... gezz... i ... can't fine anyone desent that likes me...

Oh, FINNALY!!! I've been trying to see if this dude even noticed me ^^ he does :D finnaly. Yep... been commenting his journal and stuff. he never wrote back, and i love reading his journal.. yea but finnaly he has acknowledged me ^^ i'm happy yes well... ._. ::rubs back of head:: heh ^^' >.>'

Ja Ne~

::dances to beat in chair:: damn rock music ROCKS !!!! ^^ Last night the creek was awesome :D I had my hair SPIKED!!! ^^ I MEAN S.P.I.K.E.D. !!! Yes like 5-6inchs of hair spiked up ^^' It was awesome >.< I didn't have any eye make-up though ^^' cause I thought it might infect my scratched eye if it got in it o.o ^^ I was a clown lastnight xD Yeah! Cause of my hair ^^ naw it was tight >.< I hid by this strob light and they coudln't see me and once they got (we'z in a hudge like old batting cage or something, covered with black tarp) once they got past me some I would scream and jump up behind them XD I LOVE SCARING PEOPLE ! ESPECIALLY GIRLS CAUSE THEY SCREAM SOOO LOUD!!!!! ^^' yes well ^^' heh heh >:D it was awesome! ^^ I was in there with Anton o.o he's kinda freakie ^^' naw he's cool :D he's like one of my best guy-friends ^^ he's awesome ^^' I remember this one time I went to a football game (I wrote it in here before) I was talking to these guys and Anton all put his arm around my sholders and pulled me into him ^^' xD then that guy just looked at me like O.O 'is that her boyfriend? o_O' xD !! Yea ^^ he's cool'z like that though xD he doesn't hit girls ! that's whats fun ^^' you can hit him and he dont hit back XD good practice dummie >.< xD SORRY ANTON!' ^^'' >.>' ::clears throat:: yes well o.o ^^ I'm gonna be a clown tonight too :D I liked it xD ^^' Brook (sp?) was out there just up the hill by us, that guy I said was kinda cute but freakie, and that I thought was like 16-17 ^^' xD I Found Out That He Is 20!!!!!! DANG! I Soooo Freakin Didn't Know That! ^^' but anyway, after the groups went by me and Anton went up the hill, cause he had a fire up there, and I went into the tent that was up there. It was set up to look like the campers where murdered, zombies, then came back to life and cased the people ^^' xD anyway! Brook had some tight rock music playing ^^ xD he had 20 something CD's out there! So anyway ^^ to make it short :D he let me borrow them all! ::listening to them now; Cold-Year of the Spider:: Damn, I like rock, and have Linkin Park's CD ^^ but damn these CD's are tight >:D awesome! Yes well, yeah... ok today...

yeah but TODAY IS A DIFFERENT STORY! I had my hair spiked again ^^ xD mostly red ^^' ::ran out of dye:: ¬_¬ yes I ran out of dye -.- ^^ but that ok :D my hair is spiked up again and it's different xD Boy's did I get some looks! ^^' some little kids was just walking, looking at the ground, then looked up and double taked and all jumped back lol! Dang! ^^' xD

Kelly came over this morning, so I could do her make-up (lines on her face N stuff) x_x I went to bed at like 1 (had to get crap out of my hair cause I didn't want to smell up my new bed set) x_x I had my clock set for 5:45 and X_X I woke up at like 7!!! Dang, I was in shorts and a tee shirt when Kelly came over ^^' (school's at 8:20) but we wasn't late :D ^^' Had to put my make-up on at school though o.o oh and I did Anton's make-up too ^^' he wanted lines so I did them and they was different xD cause Kelly's pencil was messin up (eye liner pencil) and so he washed one side off ^^'

Yes, I asked Aaron if he liked my hair ^^' He said no xD! Yes he said NO! ^^' naw I wasn't in a good mood this morning :D cause Aaron wouldn't look at me at all! He soo avoided my gaze T.T it was so obvious -_- oh'z well ^^'

I got into this Rock manga that I downloaded at school xD IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!!

http://www.toriyamaworld.com/bremen/

GO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You must! ^^ it's frickin awesome ;p none yaoi so far for you scaredie cats ^^ there is this one guy that... xD just kidding! I'm not telling! But foreal'z it's tight ^^

O.o Me and Jessica are slowly talking to each other, she's the one that made the first move last night o_o she looked at my hair and laughed, she liked it, and then I asked her to put white face paint on my face, but she said she would screw it up so no and o_o then this dude I've known for a long time, José, walked through and ^^' I gave him a big-ol hug xD and there was this other girl with him ^^' she was ugly and cubbie and ugly! so I just thought she was an extra XD and Jessica found me later on up by the hill and told me that that was his GirlFrienD! XD OOPS! Jessica told me that she got really pissed and was calling me all this mean, bad names ^^' something like 'that stupide fucking hoe, and yada yada' ^^' yeah, she asked José if I was his exgirlfriend or what XD! NO! Heck no! ^^ xD although he's very easy on the eyes! >.< AAron!!!!!!

Yes, but anyway, I love these CD's ! That Brook dude is weird, yes well I love these CD's and it's not fair since I only have a day to listen to all these CD's and I have to return them tonigh ::pouts:: yes well, I'm gonna go put more hairspray in my hair so :D


Ja Ne!

-_- My mom wasn't at the casino, she was at the ER with my father.

She had fallen at work and went I guess. I don't know. She must of not been hunting too bad to yell and cuse at me.

Ok, I went to an advice chat and well told them about it ^^' cause no one was on my BL at the time and I just wanted to get it all out :D so anyway! They told me just to talk to them so I did ^^' ¬_¬ yelled at them for going to the casino then was told that they was at the ER -_- was that a jinx or what?

Sooo, I talked to them anyway. I wall all crying and stuff and my brother wasn't home. To make this short, my mom was being a bitch, and my dad was annoying, I was all studdeing and squeekin cause of my tears. My mom said something and that she didnt' care, and I went sobbing to my room. My dad came in after me and sat next to me on my bed and put his arm around my sholders. He pulled me into his chest and I just stayed there for like 7 seconds then pulled away into a slouching sit. I didn't want to be hugged -.- just how I am.. I don't like contact from my parents ::shivers:: makes me feel like they perverts or soemthing Anyway! (want to save all my good feelings for my loved one ^^ bf ¬.¬ if I ever get one) Anyway!!! My dad kept his arm around my sholder and we talked and he's a dumbass along with my mother, my mom stayed in the kitchen cooking (see she's not as bad hurt as she says she is) and anyway, my dad left after I calmed down, and then I went outside came inside and my mom cooked for me too and handed me my food and hugged me and apologized and asked for my forgiveness ¬_¬ Im like ya I know you love me, yea your forgivin -_- but yeah uh huh. I had a shit load of homework, that million dollar thing is due tomorrow and all that math has fried my brain x_x so Yeah I'm tied as hell and don't have but 2/3 of my shit done.

Today I got to take some pictures, they are going to be printed in the newspaper and maybe used for my school's yearbook. Yeah, this is a senor class I'm taking, me being a Freshman, and I'm the one getting all the assignments ^^ yep they can't take pictures worth crap! and I also wrote an article and stuff ^^ yeppers xD shit I just jinxed myslef! Oh well... naw I like taking pictures and stuff >:D but I love drawing anime better!!!

Yeah well.... oh Aaron... heh.. did I say fuck him? ^^' I didn't mean it xD dang.. his smile *_* I told him to, when he gets his braces changed, get red ^^ for me and he said he would >.< but then I talked to his mom and she said she didn't like red! xD Oh! I dont' know if we gonna get that bed spread or not ^^ probaly we will but I just don't know >.> kinda dont want to push it since I.. kinda over did it o.o <.<' but anyway, it's cool ^^ black and purple sworls and dragons with like red stamp thingies on it and the pillows are 1/3 red at the end then the purple and dragon the other 2/3. Yes well it's late so.. ...

oh.. Jessica hasn't said a word to me today.. -_- I really dont know what's going on.. I'm gonna just see if I can talk to her and .. well tomorrow is church.. -_- I'll wait till then, I'm sure Kellie will talk to the both of us -.-! and my dad said that Jessica's dad hasn't said anything and called him a bastard (not to his face or on the phone, just to me) and that he is thinking about pressing charges on her dad x.X shit! This is soo not that big a deal.... o_o or is it? ... shit... !!!!!!

Jessica sent me this in an e-mail http://smileygram.com/ :|.... I didn't smile.. that is soo old... is that her way of saying sorry? ... I dont' know... -_-

Jessica...... oh Laura is talking to me.. just like always ^^' -_-


Ja Ne~