brokenmentality
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2005 26 June :: 11.35pm
he never hangs up first....
fucking.. ahrl;akejrl;kj.ac....
on a brighter note, im hanging out with matt tomorrow... i've misssed him.. he's always on the road with his band. it'll be nice to sit down, have some cofee, and catch up.
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brokenmentality
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2005 26 June :: 7.08pm
me and my mom and shelby went to traverse city last night... that was fun. its nice spending time with my family... we havent really done that in awhile.
i miss keegan... i hate massachusetts.
the yearbook thing was awesome... im so sad this was my last year going.. but im almost sure my experience with yearbooks wont be over this year.... awwww... i love kourtney too.. she's so cute!
hmmm maybe i'll call emma and see if she wants to see a movie... just cant get enough of the loye family! laughs* we were planning on seeing the sisterhood of pants movie or whatever... might as well see it tonight...
alright... goodnight dolls.
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brokenmentality
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2005 22 June :: 8.03pm
i leave for my yearbook workshop tomorrow morning... and then keegan leaves friday morning for massachusetts on a business trip for lazer skate... so im not gonna see him for 6 days.... call me pathetic.. but that'll be the longest i've gone without him.... :(
but asides from that.. we'll do fine.. cuz even though we SOUND pathetic, we're not... and unlike alot of couples, we're perfectly capable of not seeing eachother for a couple of days... i'll be here when he gets back, he'll come over to my house, kiss my forehead... and all will be well.
i got 40 dollars worth of new makeup yesterday... im very excited... i was gonna go to blues at the mall tonight.... but ended up not, and still put all my make up on... its lovely.... *smiles.
the saying... "all dressed up and nowhere to go" that sucks.... but at least every time i look in the mirror im like..... awwww.
i fell in love with an A&F polo yesterday... but it was 40 dollars... sometime i'll get it... keegan got his first polo yesterday... mmmmm i could just bite him he looks so good. *thinks about it...... he's SO fine... ALL the time.
alright... well im bored now.
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brokenmentality
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2005 20 June :: 2.33am
thank god....
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brokenmentality
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2005 17 June :: 2.30am
keegans car is so nice :)
no more crappy red one... woot woot
so tonight was good, he called me paranoid... whatever.
i think i feel better now though.
i dont like it at all.... *totally different subject* it just puts these terrible images in my mind because the other night i had a break down about it... i wish ______ would just move far far away and i would never ever have to think about what happend ever again... now that i know details... ugh, i could just be sick. i hate that part of him.
whatever right... cant change it eh? deal with it and move on erika, well its not that easy.
im really nervous for next year... for many different reasons.
i need to become dependent on myself more... i depend to much on my mom and keegan to keep me strong. why cant i just hold myself together... for gosh-sakes, i didnt even want to go to the dentist alone today (which i did end up going alone... yay for me) im afraid of needles, so i just wanted someone to comfort me... but i held my own today.. nobody was there to hold my hand or wait for an hour in the waiting room..... wait, now im kind of depressed.... step backwards erika, step backwards. hmmm, not good.
tomorrow is keegans performance at daybreak, i suppose i can brag him up a little..... they're getting paid 200 dollars to dance for 2 minutes... that 50 dollars for each of them for a mere 2 minutes.... thats crazy! but so awesome..... IHOP here we come! the performance is at 8:30... so we have an early rise day tomorrow... haha... i'll be getting up at DAYBREAK... mwah ha ha..... wow, teenage girls should not try to be corny and witty this late at night.
i've suddenly run out of things to say....
*crosses fingers..... (doesnt concern you why...)
*crosses them again.
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brokenmentality
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2005 14 June :: 3.23pm
keegans mom just bought me a bike..... *laughs.
for my birthday, so me and keegan can ride bikes together... awww, she loves me! *smiles.... i love that woman..
ahh.. i cant belive she just bought me a bike!!!! hehehe..... im so happy! i havent had a bike since i was like 11.... now i can leave keegan in the dust... since he's to cool to get a normal bike and will be stuck on his little "trickster" pshhh... whatever doll, you're goin down... thats right.....
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brokenmentality
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2005 14 June :: 2.12am
*giggles
i find it funny when girls who are having sex get all defensive about "stupid girls" who get themselves pregnant...
yeah.. that kind of makes you one of them
if you're mature enough to have sex, protected OR unprotected then you sure as hell better be mature enough to have a kid... what a stupid statement.
here... quick lesson.....
SEX. LEADS. TO. CHILDBIRTH.
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brokenmentality
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2005 14 June :: 1.55am
i spent the night at alyssas last night... we talked a lot... and its nice to have a friend that actually wants to hear about my life and who actually cares whats going on and how im handeling things.... because those kinds of friends are very limited... im gonna say 2-3 tops... no counting keegan.
tonight after i got out of work, me and keegan took pats paddle boat out on lime lake (his moms boyfriend) and chased a super big bird all over it... i think he called it a herrid or a harrend... same difference... we're just talking a BIG bird... and we saw turtles... i named one myrtle.... myrtle the turtle... giggles.... oh and we rode those old school scooters down to pats too.... lol..... i was one of those deprived children who never had one... it was fun.. we were like little kids.... then we rode them back to his house, and lauren matthews was over with emma... basically i spent more time with lauren then keegan.... *shakes fist at him..... i love those girls though... we were running around in the dark, and we EVEN climbed a tree... thats right.. i dont believe there are any trees to climb on any stupid computer.... *shakes fist at him again.... long story short: i'd rather not go into it! but yay im so glad i love emma and she loves me :)
(and lauren too..... she's a cutie too..... awww.. i felt like one of the girls tonight.... why dont high schoolers climb trees and play hide and seek in the dark anymore? stupid big kids...)
yesterday me and keegan met bobby at res life in grandville... it was pretty sweet.. the ground floor (the youth room.. if thats what you wanna call it) was incredible... we're talking INCREDIBLE.... the only thing is... the drive would kill us... all the gas it would take to get down there.....
keegans birthday went really good.. i was there all day, i wish i could fully explain the day... but you wouldnt get it, and i probably shouldnt.. but it was really good.. close to perfect...
we're getting air conditioning tomorrow... there IS a god who reigns in heaven...! we've been dyin over here....
i think thats all i got....
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brokenmentality
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2005 11 June :: 4.59pm
awww.. its my keegans birthday...
and awww... he's standing right behind me....
*giggles...
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brokenmentality
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2005 9 June :: 11.22pm
we went to the beach today.... im fried.
that rarely ever happends....
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brokenmentality
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2005 7 June :: 11.24pm
we just watched this interview with brad pitt and the work he's doing in africa... i mean yeah thats great... but you have to BE rich to help like that. yeah he's doing amazing things over there, but that still doesnt change the fact that just ONE of his outfits costs enough to feed an entire village over there.
i dont know...
but one thing i DO know is im getting fat... and i dont mean the PH kind.... i mean the gross disgusting go on a diet fat. i hate watching tv and seeing all the perfect stomachs... screw them and their perfect stomachs.. im a busy teenager who works almost everyday and still has other responsibilities to tend to... to bad if i cant go out and run a mile in this smothering heat... its not like i can come home to a pool or air conditioning.. why would i WANT to excersize!? YEAH... thats what i'll tell myself.... its not MY fault... its the heat. Genious.
GOAL #5,095,999,999: learn to spell damn it!
WHY must bugs crawl all over the computer screen.... little idiots.. im JUST going to kill them...
im tired, and hot..... GAWD is it hot...
ok bugs.. you're goin DOWN.....
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brokenmentality
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2005 7 June :: 12.23am
hmmm..... meet the rest of the family?
maybe its nerves.. but to me its like i've come so far... why go further eh?
i know they want to meet me and wonder why they havent yet... but to bad, its not MY fault that havent gotten to know me the past 17 years. so im not gonna feel obligated... but then again, thats just me being a teenager, because in all reality i think i want to... alot. not for closure... for a place to start.
LOL at brandi, roni, and ashley...... you girls are to much... te he he... TEN pairs of flip flops! holllllly cow! aww, i love you girls!
hmmm... im bored with this now..
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cherylee
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2005 5 June :: 5.19pm
i love how when i write something real, something that i feel, or something that bothers me... i get no response from my 'friends'
but the instant i post a stupid survey, i get 10 responses.
love it.
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brokenmentality
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2005 5 June :: 11.28am
yesterday was my birthday... and a good day it was.
my mom got me a car stereo and other stuff...
my dad got me a digital camera..
and keegan got me this picture of Paris that i've been wanting for months... i never expected it.. i was freaking out when i saw it... *loves on it
in the morning keegan took me to build a bear.. and we made a monkey... i named it kitty cuz thats what i call him.. laughs. him being keegan of course...
hmmm.. well that was that... and now im off to maybe go shopping..
have a good summer dolls.
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brokenmentality
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2005 31 May :: 10.36am
once again... another perfect weekend.
OH my gosh, yesterday me and keegan went and saw Madagascar... i dont think i've ever laughed so hard at a cartoon... it was hilarious. te he he....
my room is just full of roses... i hang all my flowers upside down.. and now i have a dozen hanging from my ceiling, 3 random roses in random places, and a vase FULL off rose buds and petals... im such a lucky girl! :)
i even CLEANED my room this weekend... WOW. it looks so good... im willing to bet i have the coolest room EVER.. pshh.. its true.
tomorrow can not come fast enough for me... it doesnt feel like the end of school... but thank god it is. i have never been more ready for the year to end. i hate that... but i cant help it... school can die. next year will be good though..... our senior year is gonna fly by.. im gonna cry when its over even though i hate it so much. when its over, its gone, and its just a memory..... and to lose all the people we've grown up with is gonna be both, a blessing... and extremely hard.
i must say though.... im ready to say goodbye to many of them. *smiles.
my birthdays saturday... it really snuck up on me this year. birthdays are overated.... you turn a year older.. thats it. i like getting new stuff and feeling special because "its your BIRTHDAY" but in all reality... who came up with this idea to celebrate the day we were born? everyone goes through it... its not like its special just for you... everybody has a birthday... mine is just one more. but ehhh... another excuse to eat cake is ok by me.
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