I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you.

:: 2004 4 September :: 11.12pm

hmmm... glad to know its so easy to piss some people off. its pathetic really.

i went to the burns last night. we rented Cold Mountain.. it was SUCH a good movie. i wouldnt recomend seeing it with parents though.

becky and i went to the lakes mall today. (burns, not my lover) it was fun. i love becky (burns, AND my lover) i got fairy earings... it was wonderful. we went swimming n such when we got back. then i had to haul ryan to tysons.. honestly ryan..all you ever do is use me.

*gets all dramatic...... stomps away.

im kiiiddddddiiinnggg. besides, you LOVE my driving. mwah ha.

i MUST switch into 3rd hour drama.. otherwise i will be sad. *hugs ashley.

i have a youth group concert thing all day tomorrow. woot hoot. jeffs band is playing.. and theres bouncy boxing and such. SHALL be fun.

i got the ashley simpson cd today because i think i love her. and i was gonna burn it, but then i wanted to buy it because i want her to make it. lol.. im a nerk. YES, i admit it ok.

i got the new taking back sunday cd too... i love them. and there already "making" it.. but i just needed to have that little naked baby... i mean comon... who could resist it?!

kidding.

ok, night loves.

:: 2004 3 September :: 9.30am

he liked it.

*dances.

i think im all set for school to start... except for the whole wanting to go. i got my rasperry chucks last saturday, my first pair of black ones, and of course i have my pink ones. theres something special about your first pair..... *hugs them.

i have to work at cindys today... but i dont have to work ANYWHERE this weekend. thats crazy... just crazy. i think i have a check at arbys.. but im to afraid to go in for it... i didnt leave on the best of terms with phyllis. ah well.. what can ya do. i wasnt going to stay at arbys and be unhappy with next to nothing pay compared to the job offer metron gave me. i guess if phyllis doesnt understand that then whatever. i should call...... mmmmmmm, no.

yesterday i worked at cindys till 3, then i worked at metron till 8, and after me and brandi got out of work (we both work at metron) we went to the football game. but we didnt get there till like the 3rd quarter, and i guess they dont let people in for free anymore, so we payed 8 dollars to get into a sad excuse of a game. we werent very happy... and because i had been working all day i didnt want many people to see me because my hair was... you cant even imagine, and the smell of a nursing home doesnt just go away right when you walk out the door..... bahhh. but i did see hott man... and becky didnt.. mwah ha ha ha... and i suppose that makes the night worth while.

i guess theres an offer on the house.... hell of a story leading up to it... wont get into that though. i pray to god it sells.... they'll just fight about who gets how much for the NEXT year... but i dont care. he doesnt deserve anything.. not after everything he's put us through.

this means that things are SLOWLY starting to get better.... barely.. but this is one step in the right direction for once. i cant wait till we have our OWN house on our OWN land with our OWN dog running around the back yard. wait... we do have our own dog running around the back yard here..... hahahaha.. we just moved our whole family in... such silly people we are.

maybe i should change my journal around.. its been the same for a long time.... i really like it though. meh... *shrugs. what else would i change it to?

i've developed a new thing for fairys. its kind of a thing between me and tyson... it started in alaska with us talking about peter pan.. "i do believe in fairys! I DO I DO!" then with him wearing my fairy neclace for like 3 days.. then losing it, then finding it again... then he bought me a fairy... then i bought him a fairy necklace that looks just like mine, then he drew me a fairy, then i bought HIM a fairy. haha.. we're such nerds. but its this ongoing thing that we have.. and im running out of ideas...! anyways... im not sure why i decided to share that with you.... but i guess i've got nothing else to talk about.. so im just rambling. i tend to do that.

for my senior pictures next year, if we go back to alaska.. THATS where im getting them done.. carrie, my youth pastors wife, does photography, and she did some of Robbies up there. and if we DONT go to alaska, which we're really hoping to do, i'd seriously drive all the way down to Tennessee to get my pictures done. i love mountains... haha. i was all like dotdotdot but couldnt think of what to say after "i love mountains...." so ok, i love mountains. (PERIOD) i want beach pictures too.

hmm.. when im talking in detail about pictures that wont happen for another year... i know its time to go. i have to get ready for work anyway.

:: 2004 31 August :: 10.25pm

im anti-clingan.

:: 2004 31 August :: 6.06pm

he's insane, completely insane.

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:: 2004 30 August :: 4.58pm

1. chemistry/ Vree
2. geometry/ Neier
3. journalism/ Vanderheide
4. AP history/ Norkus
5. american history/ Dolbee
6. yearbook/ Stark

its not that bad this year.... but i think i might switch my 3rd hour to drama, im not sure if i want journalism because its so similar to yearbook. *ponders.

H didnt hate it... thats cool.

im a moron....! *(thanks tom and phil)*

i think im going to the burns tonight.

*licks dustin. grrrrrrrowl.

charlessumnerthatsickfuck

:: 2004 30 August :: 1.09pm

i had my 1st two classes this am
i'm anticipating 4.0 in both of them, one is animal sci, and the other bio which i took and passed the ap exam last year
both were really boreing but i still took notes. meh
couldn't sleep last night
i was thinking about rob
i really like him
a lot
i've made up a new drinking game
it's in combo w/ euchre. the rules are:
1)every game begins with a shot in tribute to the game of euchre.
2) every game ends with a shot too the winning team
3) whenever someone nigs, the person commiting the offense pours shots for everyone else
4)if anyone wins 2 pts. their team gets to pick out a shot for everyone to do and the opposing team has to pour
5)if a farmer's hand is called then everyone takes a shot, the person takeing the farmers pours
6)if your partneer goes alone you get to pick out a pour shots for everyone
if anyone thinks of additions rules please add them
thanks
steph, do you want to learn how now?

charlessumnerthatsickfuck

:: 2004 28 August :: 7.45pm

im going to my first college party tonight. yea for me
it's very nice, now that were set up and i have both a bed and a desk, still shareing with too many people but it's ok. I'm going to get out of this place, and hopefully not too drunk
how is the fall going for everyone else? my life is going well
i'm anticipating hearing from all of you with thrilling news.

2 comments | leave a comment

:: 2004 27 August :: 11.57pm

i am a pointless person, with pointless things to say.

why do i let people annoy me so easily... really now, cant i have just a little patience.

charlessumnerthatsickfuck

:: 2004 26 August :: 7.29pm

i went to ryans game tonight.. they did good. YES, and i mean YOU did good. so stop whining nerk.

i love the burns... *hugs them.

so im feeling bloated and huge.... woohoo! darn all that nasty food.

today we had progress.. wonderfull, wonderfull progress.... and im so happy that we could very well almost be done.

my first day at metron is tomorrow... last day at arbys is saturday... thank the good lord.

why are all my entries pointless.

8 comments | leave a comment

:: 2004 26 August :: 1.12am
:: Music: one typing woohuer, 2 snoring roomates and 3 roaring fans

ah, college life. the best part so far is the lighting fast porn
too bad my room is full of strangers that don't encourage masturbation
meh, you can't have your cake and eat it too

:: 2004 25 August :: 11.52pm

how can love even be real? how can you love somebody, and then not love them. how can you make a vow to that person and then break every promise you ever said to them. i dont understand how you can change from one person to another, i dont get how people can fool you. i dont GET how anyone can really know if they're in love. i've never been in love, i know that. i know that i've never trusted a guy fully enough to love him.... will i ever? will i ever get that romance that i've always dreamed about. i can picture this beautiful wedding and a fairytale life together, but that doesnt exist.

i think i've found my biggest fear.... falling in love. i dont trust myself enough to make that commitment.

and comon, we're in highschool. you cant love someone, you're 16 years old.. give or take a few years. you dont know what love is.. love isnt that feeling you get when you see them.. its deeper then that. love is a friendship, and its respect. respect that only a man can give his wife, and look at my mom... that did her alot of good. woohu... she fell in love, now we're living in my aunts basement. now he's moved his new girlfriend into our house. OUR house, it doesnt matter that we used to be a family. that was my home, i dont even have THAT anymore. we have some torn up land in cedar springs. that SURE does us alot of good when we cant afford to put a house on it. SURE, what goes around comes around right, my moms the better person, at least she doesnt have to live with the things that he's done. living everyday just knowing what kind of person you really are. sure he's the biggest mistake that could have ever happend to us.... well bravo. what proves that shes the better person? the fact that he ruined her credit? that he tells shelby to lie to her mommy? yeah... sounds like a person in love doesnt it? what a dangerous thing to fall into.

and yet you think you're capable of loving somebody in high school. you're a fool if you think that. saying i love you doesnt make you any more of a person. it doesnt enhance your status as a couple... it makes you liars.

im not trying to attack anyone, and i think its sad that i even have to put this line in my entry.... but this is how I feel.

God, please keep me from being bitter. i hate being like this.

:: 2004 25 August :: 6.07pm

nobody understands what anyone goes through, and how you deal with it is your own business...... its really not that big a deal.

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