My heart in a headlock.

please take a few minutes and read this interview transcript.

:: 2005 18 October :: 9.13pm

bang bang

:: 2005 16 October :: 1.09am
:: Music: No Doubt - Don't Speak (accoustic)

Random confession...
When I was in second grade, I had the biggest crush on Bill Nye the Science Guy. I was devastated to learn of his untimely demise.

:: 2005 15 October :: 12.23pm
:: Music: Cheap Trick - Surrender

Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem al ittle weird...
It's hot! MOOOOOOOOVE. Get off me, get off me!

My English class got cancelled for today. Awesomeness. Since I pathetically spent the weekend working on a mixture of freehand drawing assignments and colour theory research, I've decided it's a considerable upside that I'm spending my weekdays doing the same things, since now, everyone's doing them.

Mmmmmmm I need to get my Writer's Market back to Dr.Nawn.

The whole point of this entry was to inform whoever cares that the manuscript is nearing completion! *wiggles fingers happily over keyboard*

3 shot darlings | bang bang

:: 2005 12 October :: 11.39pm

bush - letting the cables sleep
if you have a chance, watch this music video. i've always loved it. the song itself is beautiful, and i guess the ending just gets me. Read more..

:: 2005 12 October :: 9.07pm

"what man can make, man can unmake."

- frederick douglass

bang bang

:: 2005 11 October :: 3.46pm

to add to yesterday's rant...

why the hell are we celebrating some fucking merchant who accidentally stumbled upon some land and ignorantly thought it was full of riches, and only cared about it so that he could get some monetary gain out of the deal? what did he do for you or me? besides, of course, start up a cycle of social and civil inequality that's led to the genocide of almost all of the native people who lived here and the enslavement of countless others who were kidnapped from their native land and forced against their will to labor for rich white bastards?

why don't we celebrate a real hero instead? where is harriet tubman day? what in the hell is wrong with this country? why the hell aren't more people fuming about it?

sheep, follow your leader.

1 shot darling | bang bang

:: 2005 10 October :: 11.28pm

columbus day? fuck columbus.

this is what columbus had to say about the native people he encountered when he "discovered" (and thank GOD for that... imagine what the poor brutes of the americas would have done to this place if not for columbus!) what is now haiti:

"they would make fine servants... with fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want."

"[the arawaks] are so naive and so free with their possessions that no one who has not witnessed them would believe it. when you ask for something they have, they never say no. to the contrary, they offer to share with anyone..."

yeah, what a novel idea. fucking europeans.

gold-hungry columbus & co. ordered that all people aged 14 and older collect gold for them to bring back to spain. however, this task was impossible: there was no gold on the island except for dust found in streams. when the arawaks showed up without gold, the spaniards cut off their hands and let them bleed to death.

by 1650, none of the original arawaks or their descendents were left on haiti. they were all killed off either by murder, mutilation, or suicide.

and we have a national holiday for this man. what does that say about our country?

fuck columbus.

and fuck every other rich white man who has raped and murdered millions of people around the world in the name of capitalism.

*information and quotes taken from a people's history of the united states by howard zinn

11 shot darlings | bang bang

:: 2005 10 October :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: randomly inspired by Danielle's post
:: Music: my roomie is singing "Turning Japanese" for me

On the importance of being loved.

I stay up all night doing my homework. I can't being myself to shut away my friends throughout the day, so when I'm there and they're there, it's time to have fun. I sleep at five in the morning every morning. My roomie stays up until my class starts. She's been kind enough to wake me up for my morning classes. When I leave for those, she goes to sleep. When I'm done my noon and afternoon classes, I wake her up for her evening classes, and the beat goes on. It's a convenient arrangement for the both of us.

That and, since I've been getting less sleep (I dosed off while writing an outline in English class today, but my prof loves me) I feel like I've had more time to think and read and write and run. I always make time at least every other night to do some writing, and at least thrice a week to run. I have a picture of a girl Danielle told me about tacked to my desk. She ran the mile in five minutes and thirty-eight seconds. It's my motivation to run faster, harder and longer.

Slowly but surely, my body is adjusting to the new sleeping pattern. It troubles my family, and our friends think my roomie and I are nuts, but it's a nice change from the seemingly universal routine.

When Khayra and I run out of things to argue about, we argue about how ordinary I am, physically. She says the very fact that I am ordinary makes me unique, and I argue that that's just the biggest contradiction she could think up. It goes around and around in circles, but I suppose that's just the way it goes.

According to the Chinese Zodiac, I was born in the Year of the Dragon. This means I am intelligent, enthusiastic, softhearted, bossy and loud. Most of those seem to ring true.

I've decided that I like mango juice when it's cold enough to hurt. I don't know why, I just did. I've also decided that raisin juice is nasty.

I bought a little yellow notebook with a hardback and neatsheets, about A5 size, and started making "To-Do" lists for each class. It was a suggestion in Chapter 2 of my UNIV book, Becoming a Master Student, and so far it's actually helped.

Well, I'm gonna go run now. Nighty night.

:: 2005 8 October :: 10.00pm
:: Mood: wide-eyed
:: Music: Suede - Beautiful Ones

Because Dani is missing even though I wanted her to be the first to know...
It's about a book, about a girl.

My English prof held me back after class on Wednesday and told me that she had mentioned me to the head of department. He had suggested I stop by and speak to him briefly, which I did right away. That is, as soon as he came back to his office forty-five minutes later. When he came back and found out who I was, he handed me a thick, heavy book entitled 2005 Writer's Market. He then set me up for an appointment this Wednesday so we could start sending out my queries and cover letters to publishers that may be interested in my manuscript. He said not to worry, the time between sending out a query and receiving a request for a full manuscript may take up to six months, and that I would have plenty of time to finish up.

Welcome to surreal land.

3 shot darlings | bang bang

:: 2005 4 October :: 12.44am
:: Mood: amused

I'm dizzy for all this spinning.
Starting over is always like going to the gym for the first time in years: it doesn't go as well as you expect it to go and you're sore as hell the next morning. So you decide, more often than not, that it's just not worth it and you'll never ever do it again. Thing is, "never ever" is a really long time and chances are you will try again and fail again.

Life is like that and can probably be summed up into two groups. Both groups try again, fail again, try again and do it all over again. One group eventually succeeds, the other group eventually gives up. And as much as I'd like this to be meaningful life advice, I'm really just talking about going to the gym for the first time in years.

Because I always have a reason to get off my fat ass and run.

:: 2005 29 September :: 2.28pm
:: Mood: *giggle*
:: Music: Moammed Abdu - Mahma Yegoloon

http://sinfest.net/resistance.htm

I'm gonna dress you
up with my love
~

01/04/04

Laughter is the face orgasm. When you laugh, the private organs must go, "What the heck was that? I thought we were in charge of fun!" It must freak the ol' nads out. I imagine there's a running competition between the sex drive and the sense of humor. A battle between the funny bone and the boner. Which can cause more pleasure? The ha ha or the oo la la? Comedy or hot dripping sweaty naughty good times? Which begs the question: After you share a big hearty laugh with someone--the kind that makes you convulse with nasal snort noises--do you still respect each other in the morning? Do you avoid each other, then bump into them at the water cooler and sheepishly go, "So. Things got weird, huh? I laughed. You laughed. One thing led to another..." Ever look at someone and go, Man, I'd sure love to get together with that piece of funniness and laugh and laugh till milk shoots outta me. That person will make milk come out my nose over and over and over again. Ooh. Yeah. Tell me the one about the rabbi and the penguins, baby... Right there... Yeah... Ah! Ah! AH HA HA HA HA HA!

3 shot darlings | bang bang

:: 2005 28 September :: 5.20pm

sanity
september 28 29 30

october 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

november 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

december 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27

my whole life has been waiting and probably always will be, unless i luck out and get hit by a car first.

1 shot darling | bang bang

:: 2005 28 September :: 8.47pm
:: Music: Morrissey - This World Is Full of Crashing Bores

Random thought of the week:

So, Powerpuff girls. Bubbles can speak to the animals, right? So what happens if one day she should come across animals having sex, and hear them in the throes of pasison? Like "Oh yeah, baby, oh YES, harder." What would become of Bubbles then?

:: 2005 28 September :: 12.21am

no more maybes
your baby's got rabies
sitting on a ball
in the middle of the andes

yeah, i'm a freak (of nature)
yeah, i'm a freak

if only i could be as cool as you
as cool as you

body and soul
i'm a freak
i'm a freak
body and soul
i'm a freak

try to be different
well, get a different disease
seems it's in fashion
to need the cold sore cream

i don't really know
how to put on a 'cool' show
as boring as they come
just tell me where to go

if only i could be as cool as you

1 shot darling | bang bang