kate
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2003 7 September :: 10.57pm
I'm updating for Brad, because he couldn't read my other update. mm... yep
Let's see... I don't feel like going to bed, so I'm just not. My nose is terribly sniffly. Damn you Neilee. *shakes fist* You brought your sickness to me.
My right hand nails are blood red. Wellll I think they look blood red, maybe a little too dark. Justin doesn't think so. *mummbles color blinded freak* his car is more... blue.
I'm not making sense tonight. Only to some people. I'll start actual updating now.
Today I went to church with my dad and Justin. It wasn't that great because my dad had to be dumb, but it had its moments.
Yesterday I went to a diaper party with Stephanie. Oh it was great! We ate a couple apples slices, found a feather or two, wooooo.....
Then on Friday I went to the game. I never actually went to the game. We, (Stacy, Brad, Eric, Wylie, Stacy, Dustin, Kelly, Joe, Jake, Jenny, Neilee, am I forgetting anyone?) hung out in the park. It was fun. Very. Then Jenny and Brad wanted me to go to the dance so we all walked to the high school, (Brad, Jenny, Joe and I,) but decided not to go to the dance when we got there. We instead hung out on the lawn, and was cold, but had fun. It was great.
So there. That has been my life recently. Be jealous of my eventful lifestyle. Or perhaps not, for it is rather boring.
"The light that has fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us." - Tool/Schism
3 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 7 September :: 6.47pm
Taco3291: Kate?
thiscuthurts: ...yes?
thiscuthurts: who is this?
Taco3291: Is your name...perhaps...kate shelton, of cedar springs, that lives on 16 mile?
thiscuthurts: ..yes...
Taco3291: this is...someone..
Taco3291: some one who you dont know, but knows you, watches you.
thiscuthurts: oh really
Taco3291: yes.
Taco3291: do you know who i am?
thiscuthurts: I'm going to guess...
thiscuthurts: James
Taco3291: you have beautiful eyes, kate. has anyone ever told you that?
Taco3291: no, not james. no one you ever see.
thiscuthurts: oh..
thiscuthurts: and thank you..
Taco3291: am i frightening you, kate?
thiscuthurts: No, I'm not really frightened. Just curious.
Taco3291: curious....would you like to know more?
Taco3291: will you be at the highschool homecomming dance, kate?
thiscuthurts: yes I would
Taco3291: maybe i will see you there. you wont see me though. ill just be watching. always watching.
Taco3291: are you still there?
thiscuthurts: yes
thiscuthurts: where is there?
Taco3291: at the homecomming dance.
thiscuthurts: oh. er.. missed that
thiscuthurts: yes, I will be there.
Taco3291: Maybe i could meet your little boyfriend.
Taco3291: would you like to see me?
thiscuthurts: I suppose so.
thiscuthurts: Why can't you tell me your name?
Taco3291: ive been watching you for some time now, kate.
thiscuthurts: How long is some time?
Taco3291: because then you would know my secret.
thiscuthurts:: Some time.. how long is that?
Taco3291: for seven or eight months now.
Taco3291: watching you work in the fields over the summer....
thiscuthurts: and I never see you?
Taco3291: watching you get out of your car when you get home...
Taco3291: have you seen me? it would not suprise me if you havent. no one ever sees.
thiscuthurts: How old are you?
Taco3291: does it matter?
Taco3291: i know all about you.
thiscuthurts: Such as?
Taco3291: your full name, kathleen jewell shelton...you play guitar, love system of a down...how you can never sleep.
thiscuthurts: but you could've gotten that all from my journal
thiscuthurts: I just don't understand, what's your motive?
thiscuthurts: hey, you there?
Taco3291: yes im here. im always here. my motive is your beauty kate. you will be mine.
thiscuthurts: How will I be yours, if I don't even know who you are?
Taco3291: you will know. you must wait. the time will come.
Taco3291: soon.
thiscuthurts: how soon? when?
Taco3291: soon we will be together, like we should be.
Taco3291: you will just have to be patient. you will have to be alert, you wont be expecting it, then i will be there.
Taco3291: would you like me to come now, kate?
thiscuthurts: to my house, at this moment?
Taco3291: yes. i know where you are. your family will be no problem.
thiscuthurts: No.
Taco3291: why not?
Taco3291: you are making me angry. that is somthing you do not want to do.
thiscuthurts: I don't know who you are
Taco3291: would you like to know?
thiscuthurts: Obviously.
Taco3291: lol, its steph. im at my g-mas.
7 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 7 September :: 11.36am
Killing:
May imply you have killed an aspect of yourself. This could be a hope, a dream, an ideal, or you may have slain the opposing or hated part of yourself and won your battle.
I dreamt last night that I killed many people with very little remorse.
"Drag it on and on until my skin is ripped to shreds." -Green Day/Scattered
1 you must really like me |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 4 September :: 8.26pm
Lament
He watched the water drip
Damning the leaky faucet
Picking up an old magazine
Only to toss it
Sat back on the couch
Fidling with a dime
Sank in the memories
Of a long lost time
He flipped the coin
Mentally making a game
Heads, she comes back
Tails, all stays the same
Twirling in the air
A blur to what side shall land
Then there it lays
Tails face up in his hand
5 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 4 September :: 6.10pm
Joe shared his dream, so I'd thought I say mine. It's mighty weird.
I was in a gym with my spanish class. Mrs. Crowley goes "Rodillas" and I point to my knees. I lose my balance and fall, taking Courtney down with me. I tell her I have a plan to cause mischief in the school. Then I half wake up and think, "I must've dreamed being in the gym." Then I realize I'm holding someone's hand. I think it's Justin's. Suddenly I gasp and realize that I'm sitting in my chair, with my head on the desk, laying in my own vomit. I also realize that the hand is my mother's and I immediantly let go. Then I lay my head back down and half fall asleep. I feel sort of like I'm being carried, but I couldn't tell. Then I woke up for real.
1 you must really like me |
well if you insist
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kate
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1887 16 November :: 6.26pm
Look, it's James's birthday... 116years, 2 months and 7 days ago...
4 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 2 September :: 11.22pm
:: Music: Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness disc 1
I can't sleep
yay.. 5 and a half hours of sleep. That is, if I fall asleep by midnight.
Here's your update Neilee. I have been doing absolutely nothing with my life for a while. I don't have anything remotely interesting for you to read regarding my past days. I sit around, get on the internet, excersize a little, (I shall be sexxxified soon,) do my homework, sit around on the internet more. I need more hugs. They're all that are keeping me alive right now. Not littlerally alive, but alive in the sense of.. feeling. You get it..
I know this guy, he hates confrontation. He changes the subject whenever you try to talk about something that makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like to be real open. He loves people deeply and all.. but he doesn't express it well... why am I telling you about this guy? I guess it's just something to write about.
I don't like P.E. Who honestly does? I guess there are those who do.. I hate the dot drill. I. hate. the. dot. drill.
There is a bug crawling on my screen. He's so little. Making his way to the top.. he's about a tenth of a centimeter. He just jumped.
I remember the elementary counselor. She used to tell us that it was okay to cry. I rememeber one time when I was little, my parents were mad at me and I cried. They told me stop and I said, "Mrs. (whatever her name was) said it was okay to cry." They said, "No, It's not okay."
...I'm learning Redundance and Scattered on the guitar currently. I'm doing okay, but overall yes I'll admit it, I suck. My teacher says I don't and that I'm better than his other students, but I think he's just being nice.
I like html
What are my goals in life you ask? I'm going to get married. I will write a book and I am going to own a nice, big bathtub. Because I have this mighty love for baths.
I want a sword. Don't you? Who doesn't. Swords.. ahh... what power I could possess if I had a sword.
There's this little red triangular blinking light on the fax machine. It just.. blinks.
"You're either born to win or born to lose and that's just what I've learned." -MxPx
4 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 1 September :: 1.19am
Well, Mitch started the lyrics, thought I'd just post them all, because it's a very good song. Also good lyrics.
Lit - Miserable
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable
Stuck to a chair
Watchin' this story about me
Everything goes by so fast
Making my head spin
Used up all of my friends
Who needs them when you mean everything
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
Nothing to share
Why should I care if your near me
Give up all of my plans
But who needs them
When you mean everthing
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
You make me helpless alone
Yeah, yeah... You make me come
Yeah, yeah... You make me complete
Yeah, yeah... You make me completely miserable
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable
Yeah, yeah... You make me come
Yeah, yeah... You make me complete
Yeah, yeah... You make me completely miserable
3 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 31 August :: 11.00pm
:: Music: TBS - There's No I in Team
hehe
Kate says:
you biotch
Neilee is eating fruit snacks & a frozen juice bar, and watching I love the 70's says:
what?!
Kate says:
*ruffles your hair*
Kate says:
i lovies you
Neilee is eating fruit snacks & a frozen juice bar, and watching I love the 70's says:
are you on drugs?
1 you must really like me |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 31 August :: 9.17pm
ugh. I can smell butterscotch right now. I hate it.
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 31 August :: 7.37pm
mmmm, pizza hut pizza is the best. *chews merrily*
I was grounded off the internet for 2 days, but that's no big deal because I could sneak on easily. I'm still grounded from any music that's not christian until the 7th, but that's crap because I've been listening to non-christian music for the last 2 hours and my parents haven't said anything. Then I'm still grounded until the 11th from doing anything. My mom is making an exception though and letting me go to some football game that's apparently scheduled during my grounding. My parents are so bad at keeping groundings. I've been sitting around the last 2 days a lot. Movies I've watched: Igby Goes Down, The Crow City of Angels, Interview with the Vampire, One Hour Photo, and About a Boy. Yeah.. so that's been my exciting life lately! Don't you envy me?
Today I asked my mom, "If Jesus died on the cross, why would we want to wear it around our necks and put it on churches?" She replies with, "You go Katie!" I was just like... what.... okay then..? Later we were at a restaurant. My dad was telling us how madonna kissed Christina Auguilara(sp?) and Britney Spears on stage. My mom didn't care. She said, "girls kiss all the time." I said, "What? Are you saying that if you saw me kiss a girl as a friend, you wouldn't care?" She said, "No. If it's not a long kiss." My mom is so weird...
Well, here's my closing.
"Without thinking I unsheathe my sword. My body is ready to fight. I walk into the fire."
- Kamelot/Providence
4 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 31 August :: 6.15pm
The world saddens me when I read entries like this.
hey wussa? well the day after 2 morrow iz mah birthday so technically i aint 13 yet but...oh well.I went 2 the dentist n i myte hafta get braces in a yr but we duno yet.....but i've had a pretti good summa so far-i went 2 georgia n atlanta wit mah cuzinz Kyle n Sean n we had lotza fun....i cant wayt till skoo startz tho bcuz i wana c mah friendz n i myzz the kid i lyk(wayt 4 get lyk im lyk in luv wit hym!)well i gota go..xoxo bye 143
-lilprincess318
4 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 31 August :: 2.02am
I felt it necessary to repost this
Realize that I can never win
sometimes I feel like I have failed
inside where do i begin
my mind is laughing at me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we supposed to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldnt last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Sometimes I can never tell
If I've got something after me
That's why I just beg and plead
For this curse to leave me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we supposed to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldnt last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Betrayed,
I feel so, enslaved
I really tried
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldnt last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Oh god the anger's changing me
Oh god the anger's changing me
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 31 August :: 12.03am
Quiz
Your treasure is a Black Pearl. You are wise and
faithful.
What's Your Treasure?
brought to you by Quizilla
"I'm so weak and powerless over you." -A Perfect Circle/Weak and Powerless
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 30 August :: 8.27pm
"But you just can't tell, who you'll love and who you wont." -Smashing Pumpkins/Beautiful"
3 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 30 August :: 5.43pm
I am bored. If you're online, e-mail me. I can't get on msn... I miss my friends. And not just talking to them. I miss hanging out, alot.
"Money so they say is the root of all evil today, but if you ask for a rise, it's no surprise, they're giving none away." -Pink Floyd/Money
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 29 August :: 10.39pm
:: Mood: regretful
it's fucked up
yeah.. this is my life. Maybe I'm starting to get used to it getting worse constantly. whatever. i'm apathetic, i'm angry and i don't care. i've lost a lot of happiness in my life and who fucking cares... yeah, sucks to be kate. yes, i'm whining about my life. i'm pathetic. blah blah blah.. go suck a dick. i don't care to hear anyone's lame ass comebacks on how i need to stop feeling sorry for myself. this is me, kate. Everything sucks. and I'm sick of it. fuck it all. it's not your fault justin. don't feel guilty. there's no way you could've prevented it. as for your mom talking to my parents, they don't give a shit. they don't like your mom a lot. because they judge and they'll never change. if you don't meet their standards, they don't accept you. *sigh* I cried today. I watched 8 fucking hours worth of movies to pass the time. For the first time ever, a movie actually made me cry. I've gotten teary before, sure. But this movie actually mustered up one tear to fall down my cheek. Igby Goes Down. I think it's my favorite movie. I've seen it before, but this time it actually made me cry. Maybe because I can relate to him and such. yeah. fuck this psychological crap. I'm so sick of being deep and understanding and all this shit. I think way too fucking much. I understand more than I should sometimes I think, yet I'm never taken seriously. nobody even cares. I could be as dumb and ditsy as the next person and nobody would care any more than they do now. Fuck it. I'm done trying. I'm never going to cry for anyone again. Tears don't do anything but give me a headache and I have enough of those. I'm going to go to school. I'm going to hug my friends. I'm going to get my good grades. and I'm going to feel fucking bored and pointless the whole time. This is me. I am Kate. And this is my life. And I finally realized it.
5 you must really like mestalkers |
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 28 August :: 5.13pm
:: Music: eve 6 - Think Twice
Courtney, James and I are at Justin's house, without Justin. Courtney and I are only wearing Justin's clothes, no under clothing and we're eating soft taco shells.
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 27 August :: 7.01pm
:: Music: The White Stripes - Elephant
The White Stripes - You've Got Her In Your Pocket
You've got her in your pocket
And there's no way out now
Put it in the safe and lock it
'cause it's at home sweet home
Nobody ever told you that it was the wrong way
To trick a woman, make her feel she did it her way
And you'll be there if she ever feels blue
And you'll be there when she finds someone new
What to do
Well you know
You keep her in your pocket
Where there's no way out now
Put it in a safe a lock it
'cause it's home sweet home
The smile on your face made her think she had the right one
Then she thought she was sure
By the way you two could have fun
But now you're scared
You think she's running away
You search in your hand for something clever to say
Don't go away
'cause I want
To keep you in my pocket
Where there's no way out now
Put it in a safe a lock it
'cause it's home sweet home
And in your own mind
You know your're lucky just to know her
And in the beginning all you wanted was to show her
But now she might leave
Like she's threatened before
Grab hold of her fast
Before her feet leave the floor
And she's out the door
'cause you want
To keep her in your pocket
well if you insist
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kate
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2003 26 August :: 11.36pm
i cannot sleep... i need a remedy for insomnia. ... I don't even know what to type. This sucks.
"The bottom line is money. Nobody gives a fuck. 4,000 hungry children leave us per hour from starvation while millions are spent on bombs, creating death showers." -SoaD/Boom!
well if you insist
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