godessalthena
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2019 3 September :: 7.29am
we are arriving at the final warm days off summer, soon it will be fall and then it will be winter.
I feel like I'm moving in show motion as time hurdles past me.
I don't know what I want. I don't want anything, but I also want it all. I miss feeling like there was real adventure in my life.
maybe there never was. I want to move to a new city and see what different and exciting things I can find. I want to move to the country and never love in a big city again. I want kinda kids, I want to be a kid myself forever.
I honestly don't care, either things will happen or they won't. why fight against the current when I can just enjoy the ride until the waterfall throws us off to our deaths?
that is, if the river doesn't dry up first... like my optimism about the future.
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godessalthena
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2019 27 August :: 8.27am
shake shake shake seniora shake your body line
work work work seniora work it all the time
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godessalthena
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2019 21 August :: 10.58am
FUCK CAPITALISM
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godessalthena
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2019 30 July :: 9.35pm
Kind words, kind looks, kind acts, and warm hand-shakes, - these are means of grace when men in trouble are fighting their unseen battles. -John Hall
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godessalthena
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2019 30 July :: 7.05pm
I thought for the longest time capos were called "catbows" and I couldn't for the life of me understand why they were called that
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spud
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2019 25 July :: 11.27am
Recorded on 7.21.19
TECHNICALLY NOT A POD
In which I am joined by Trevor, who wields an axe with superior majesty, and has the hair to match.
ALSO NOT A POD
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godessalthena
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2019 23 July :: 10.44pm
being gamey boi with mah boi makes me happy
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godessalthena
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2019 21 July :: 10.24am
I don't think I want this for the rest of my life.
why is alcohol so important in America and why can't they all just stop being alcoholics?
the bathroom still smells like puke.
bleh.
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godessalthena
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2019 18 July :: 6.22am
been feeling a lil better lately, like the dark cloud is passing for now.
if only it would go away forever
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spud
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2019 15 July :: 2.45pm
recorded on 7.10.19
POD 20
In which I am joined by Nick and Sam. Nick wrote the songs. Sam is an open mic legend here in Grand Rapids.
We were rehearsing for a gig at Mulligans Pub; an establishment whose threshold I had not darkened in nearly a decade. It hasn't changed at all.
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spud
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2019 10 July :: 10.25am
Recorded on 7.5.19
POD 19
In which I am joined by Eliot. He wants to start a 90s cover band, but neither of us sing. The set list is epic ... if we can ever learn all the songs. Or find a vocalist.
Links to stuff we mentioned:
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godessalthena
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2019 8 July :: 10.52pm
As a child I was taught that to tell the truth was often painful. As an adult I have learned that not to tell the truth is more painful, and that the fear of telling the truth -- whatever the truth may be -- that fear is the most painful sensation of a moral life. -June Jordan
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godessalthena
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2019 8 July :: 12.53pm
I wish I could have been born a cookie cutter happy robot who enjoyed getting wasted with strangers.
my life would be so much easier.
I wouldn't be losing my job.
I wouldn't feel like I have no friends.
I would be able to just live life with nothing but a smile and a blank mind with nothing in it but me me me
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godessalthena
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2019 6 July :: 7.30am
one friend tries to kill himself and ended up in the ER (glad he didn't succeed, definitely mostly a bad med combo issue.. that stuff really scares me)
another friend trying to kill himself with a failing liver. after spending a week in the ER and being told he can't drink ever again, the dummy never goes to a follow up appointment and is now dying on someone else's couch in the middle of nowhere. like... killing himself with inaction.
it breaks your God damn heart. and you want to help that's all you want to do, but what exactly can one do.. I try to be there, but maybe I'm just not trying hard enough..
or maybe there's no way to stop a train from going off the tracks?
sometimes I feel the same way as them.. the only thing that honestly holds me back is the fear of the unknown of the after. I don't know if I want it to be nothing, hell, or something else. but what I do know is I'm afraid to face all the horrible things I've done, I'm afraid of nothingness, I'm afraid that I won't deserve what I get, that I won't get to see my passed on loved ones again.
I just really hope it's what I imagine it to be, only I don't want to come back this time I just want to turn back into a star and stay there for a while.
fucking plastic.
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spud
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2019 5 July :: 11.30pm
PART 2
POD 18.2
In which I am joined by Doyel and Jaclyn. They JUST GOT ENGAGED! Also, Jaclyn and I are nerds, but Doyel doesn't care.
Links to stuff we mentioned:
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