:)

:: 2014 19 June :: 9.14pm

How did the word "pram face" come into existence? Do you know, Jamie?

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:: 2014 19 June :: 2.44pm

Signing my new lease on the 27th :) planning on moving my stuff that weekend! I can't wait to have a place that is all mine.

I feel like now I am really becoming an adult. I'm completely self reliant, single, in school and holding down a full time job with the same company for 4 years! (I just had my anniversary!!)

I'm going to get organized, get on top of my spending habits.

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:: 2014 17 June :: 12.44pm

I find the "no make-up" look, involving make up, completely absurd.

:: 2014 16 June :: 2.22pm

Dropping off my application at a new apartment! It is so retro adorable. I love all the space, and everything will be new, and my bathroom is like 2x's bigger, so is the kitchen. It's just so cute and well laid out. :)

Plus.. Indoor heated pool. WTFFFF HELL YES haha

Sorry, john herer brings out the crazy girl in me. Haha.

I'm so excited XD

:: 2014 12 June :: 6.58am

I never want to go to that apartment ever again. The remainder of the lease is 4 months. Samie had a great idea tho..

Pay Laura the next 4 months of rent, or maybe even pay it to the management company, and then get off the lease and leave. I can't stay there. I don't feel safe.

And 4 months is a VERY long time.

Fuck that ass hole.

spud

:: 2014 10 June :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: exhausted

this whole sobriety thing
*tolkien analogies in italics

i think i might try to start posting my AA stuff on here, just because i would like to have a place to put my thoughts and progress, and this seems a more suitable venue than facebook.

current status: i have a sponsor. i make it to as many meetings as possible, but tuesday night and friday night men's stags are my mainstays, as they fit into my schedule well, and i like the stag meetings. since i started my job, going every day has not been an option. not even close. even the monday night meetings with david have stopped, but i do talk to him on tuesday nights at least.

to sum up briefly (i may come back later and edit):
don't drink.
if only for the next five minutes, ten minutes, an hour, a day. don't worry about forever, or even tomorrow, just don't drink today.
fix the spirit first - the mind and body will follow
don't think your way into right living, live your way into right thinking.
pick the god that you want to be in charge of your life. if you're giving all control of your life to god's will, it should be a god that you're comfortable entrusting with it. (my god laughs at fart jokes) gandalf
don't drink.
pray. all the time.
establish a routine. ask for guidance in the morning (and remind yourself who's in charge while you're at it), say thanks at night.
don't drink.
be honest. completely, brutally, painfully honest. about everything.
be cognizant of what's going on between your ears. motives behind activities are important (WHY you're doing something helps determine whether or not it is advisable to do so).
don't let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT)
be honest, open, and willing (HOW)
don't drink.
alcohol is cunning, baffling, powerful. the one ring
you have a disease, which is why you see others (who don't have it) drinking with impunity.
be of service. be available to help. look to be used for god's will.
don't drink.

it's pretty simple, really. i was just making shit unnecessarily complicated all this time. might not be easy, but it's simple. and it permeates everything in my life, whether i like it or not.

2 comments | leave a comment

:: 2014 10 June :: 6.28am

I saw Rosie and Lauren's mom out for a walk on my way to work this morning :)

:: 2014 8 June :: 8.11pm

I finally got up the guts to tell Laura I'm moving out when the lease is up.

It's going to suck paying all my bills on my own.. Oh well. I think the freedom will really be the reward.

Bleh

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:: 2014 7 June :: 6.20pm

wow. just wow. <3

:: 2014 7 June :: 10.56am

i use the same voice for every impersonation i do

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:: 2014 6 June :: 3.12pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Brand New

JESUS CHRIST
Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missin' out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
'cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
'cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates, does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up (everyone now)

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you're coming for the people like me
We all got wood and nails
And tongue-tied at hate factories
We all got wood and nails
And tongue-tied at hate factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

tuwang

:: 2014 6 June :: 12.09pm

Hi woohu. How have you been?

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:: 2014 5 June :: 10.13pm

Continuously using me is one thing.. Stealing my shit is quite another.

I wish it wasn't so late. I want to stay up and pour out my emotions. But I don't want to be dead tomorrow either :( fuck being an adult. Ugh.