bathtub gin

2 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 3 December :: 12.43am

Nick hit a deer.

His car's pretty banged up but everyone's okay.

:: 2005 2 December :: 5.38pm

Hi...im still alive but sickness is killing me....i hate school. Grades not so hot. I dunno. im just tired. nothing really new im just sick adn tired adn whiney! im gonna go shopping so ill take out my not happiness on that. :) maybe ill find a good thrift store!!!

Anytngbtordinary

:: 2005 2 December :: 11.30am

So I feel like being creative but its hard because laziness is over-powering my creativeness. Damn.

I did start writing a new story in chem today though. I figured it was a better-much more entertaining use of my time. I've completely given up on chem...its a waste of time to even try to learn it. It can go fuck itself.

But yeah i've been thinking a lot about what I want/need. I realized that I don't like myself- nothing new there but that perhaps what i'm looking for relationship-wise is someone who can make me like myself.

I think its basically impossible. I've doubted everyone i've dated...in my mind they had no reason to like/love me, my explanation was just that they didnt know me or they didnt realize that they didnt really love me or what not. But then again that could just go back to me believing that I'm not worth being liked/loved...its quite the strange circle.

::shrugs:: I'm pretty calm today...those are just recent thoughts you know?

This is only in here because this journal (dear lord i almost spelled that "Gernal"!) is relatively safe...i think.

In other news, i'm getting sick :( My tummy hurts mucho...ever since yesterday and its not going away :(

In better news erm um...not sure.

I lose.

Heh.

Alright bye.

~Jackie

Anytngbtordinary

:: 2005 2 December :: 11.30am

3 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 1 December :: 6.38am

If anyone got a call from me late last night, I apologize.

I keep my cell phone on my bed because I'm too lazy to look for it when it rings and because it charges as I sleep.

Last night I couldn't sleep very well and lately I've been tossing and turning a lot.

My dad just mentioned that I called him when he was downstairs, asleep and in bed.

He called me back.

So if I called you, I'm sorry. I shall find a better place to put my phone.

Anytngbtordinary

:: 2005 28 November :: 5.09pm

Long time.

I'm wasting the few hours I have left before I MUST study. EUHGURH
I hate chemistry!!!

So this journal is much safer than xanga. I can easily guess who may read this one...xanga, everyone knows about it so its not somewhere that i can really trust.

Thanksgiving break was amazing, though it did suck that I didnt see everyone I wanted to or get to spend much time with everyone.

Then there were the people I did see that I kind of wish I didnt...

Nick is the perfect example haha...

Its hard even to put my thoughts in here... scary.

I need somewhere to sort things out but how many times do I have to sort this issue out???

I've spent the last few years dealing with it and stressing over it and exploding over it

How ridiculous am I???

Very. Boo.

College was supposed to make it go away...

I was so sure it would.

But nooo...i still make dumb decisions that affect things at home and make me go...wtf was I thinking???

Blah. I need dinner.

~Jackie

3 three drinks behind | martini?

5 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 28 November :: 3.01pm

You will not believe this.
Sigur Ros is coming to Calvin College in February.

Tickets go on sale December 8th.

Here is the site.

* feb 18 : 6pm concert calvin college fine arts center, grand rapids (mi)
general on-sale date dec 08

* feb 18 : 10.30pm concert calvin college fine arts center, grand rapids (mi)
general on-sale date dec 08

toki	:: 2005 27 November :: 12.29am :: Mood: nauseated :: Music: Vienna- Billy Joel Yay for feeling worthless, jerky, and just all around crappy. Ryan Hoffman and I ate ice cream and watched Firefly. We were being girly. So that was fun. Until I got sick from the ice cream, lol. martini?

8 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 23 November :: 4.21pm

funny! SPAM SPAM SPAM!
What is the point of these e-mails? What happens?

Read more..

2 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 23 November :: 4.14pm

I got out of work early (3 instead of 5) and that makes me happy.

Sadly, since it's bad out, I'm not allowed to go anywhere. Stupid snow. Maybe I'll go cash my paycheck.

We all should hang out this weekend.

I'm gonna go write my paper that's due at 5. Yay!

I love you all.

toki	:: 2005 23 November :: 1.34pm :: Mood: Jerky I feel like a jerk. I need to go shower though. The boy will be here soon so we can go to work. I hate work. martini?

:: 2005 21 November :: 6.09pm

I know I've probably never told anyone this (my mom just heard about it today and laughed) but here's how dorky my siblings and I are:

Hannah, Nathaniel and I were playing some kind of shopkeeping game loosely based around Chrono Cross. I was the shopkeeper, Buddy was some pet and Hannah was the customer(s).

Once, Hannah came in as a "customer," snuck in the back of my shop and I was audited by an IRS agent (played by Hannah).

And apparently, NORMAL children don't do these things.

toki

:: 2005 20 November :: 11.09pm
:: Mood: exanimate
:: Music: Hanson

My Flowers Are Dead
How sad.

My newer ones are okay, though.

I got myself a good guy.

I love him very much.

Today was kind of slow, which sucked. But that's okay.

I ate good food.

That, my friends, is why I'm fat(ish)

-patrice

:: 2005 18 November :: 8.20pm

So Katie is having her appendix removed.

Tonight.

Please pray for her.

She's still down in Kalamazoo at Bronson Hospital. I will probably go down there tomorrow, depending on how she's doing, if she's there and how the weather is faring. So if anyone wants to come along, I'll drive.

Oh, I forgot you're all not around here. Well if you want to come, find your way over here or be ready to pay me gas money to come get you.

I love you all.

toki

:: 2005 16 November :: 11.19am
:: Mood: Smelly
:: Music: May It Be- Enya

Lay Ze
I woke up at 8am, got out of bed, turned on my music, turned the lights on, then went back to sleep. Poop, I know. Another day no running. I am definitly not getting un-fat anytime soon.

And that sucks.

:: 2005 16 November :: 3.16am

The reason the last entry just said AHHHH is b/c u can't scream that in a dorm and have ppl think ur normal. So i had to write it out...the stress is killing me...not really but i hate having 17 credit hours thats a bitch and a half...it kills. im gonna take easy classes 2nd semester im excited. Ok adios girls study hard.

Yasamin

PS ok this is hilarious and when i see u i will do it wiht a good accent but some random homeless guy said this to me ( i was wearing my bright pink coat):
"Damn...Damn...Damn...cute as a button!!!!!!" (add the accent its hilarious). I <3 chicago!

:: 2005 15 November :: 12.57am

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH im pissed at me. thats all. im done. need 2 focus on school. A lot of shit on my shoulders. needs to get off.

:: 2005 13 November :: 11.46am

Yesterday was my aunt's birthday.

So I made sure that I spent time with my mom.

6 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 11 November :: 5.59am

I don't have any friends at school.

The only person I actually hang out with a lot is Jeremy and he's planning on transferring next year. I'd love to hang out a lot with Emily, my friend from French class, but all the people who live on campus have their dorm friends and dorm things.

I mean, Shayne and I used to eat lunch all the time and hang out but he goes home to eat or hangs out with other people.

I'm hoping that next semester, when a girl I know from my I & E class is in another one of my classes, that I can be friends with her. And since my classes are switching around and I'll have tons of free time, I'll have more friend time.

I mean, you all know I don't have trouble "making friends." I don't know what's going on.

But it makes me really sad.

I love you all.

P.S. I was hoping Kelly and Katie were coming home this weekend because at the Wealthy Street Theatre today and tomorrow, they're showing the Wizard of Oz with a live band playing Dark Side of the Moon. Here

toki

:: 2005 10 November :: 10.54pm
:: Mood: depressed

remember when saying you felt depressed made you a target for days of yelling? Yeah, I'm glad people are calmer now.

Anyways, I'm insane. I think about the future too much. Blah blah, what else is new.

Now I have to think about my test tomorrow. Poop.

2 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 9 November :: 8.45pm

Best illusion ever.

6 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 9 November :: 8.21pm

I know I am awful and you might not be able to forgive me but I'm only on this site for a media study paper due tomorrow. I would not visit this site on my own free will.

Read more..

I love you all.

toki	:: 2005 6 November :: 12.17am My flowers still haven't died. It's been a long time. That's a good thing. 1 three drinks behind \| martini?

:: 2005 5 November :: 7.43pm

We're in Chicago. We being my entire family and two of Hannah's friends.

Tomorrow we're going to see the musical Wicked. Maybe then Hannah will shut up about it.

My throat hurts and I'm tired.

I love you all. And, pathetically, I miss Nick.

:: 2005 3 November :: 4.03am

I Failed i cant study for that test....ill get up early...yea right!

:: 2005 3 November :: 2.25am

Gavin De Graw
I just went to his concert im in love. A bunch of girls from coffey (my dorm) are out at a bar with him...he called them. I am jealous i sorta want a fake to go out and chill w/him...but w/e im not that big of a fan and hes not that hot. but the concert was amazing, hes good live. I have to go study and memorize like 100 bones. I know its 230am but i will not fail this test. :) yea i lie i hate that class with a passion.

:: 2005 1 November :: 7.35pm

I am watching moulin rouge. :)