Afterall, We're just animals.

:: 2021 11 May :: 8.28am

this extreme tiredness doesn't seem to want to leave

but I'm so damn tired

:: 2021 6 May :: 9.35am

everyone I love seems to be drowning in alcohol

and they are too drunk to admit they need to change anything

and literally every serious topic is a joke

please just stop lying to me...

spud	:: 2021 3 May :: 3.53pm :: Mood: Seasonal A staggering proportion of humans are allergic to the semen of plants. A perennial reminder. Point and Shoot

spud

:: 2021 29 April :: 11.03pm
:: Music: Tauk - Sir Nebula

Jet Lag

I used to have arguments with my uncle about language. I insisted that there were grammatical structures and rules in place in order to keep the meaning of language consistent. If we are to communicate and exchange ideas, it is critical to have the same words and sounds mean the same thing to both parties, in order to successfully transmit all information in the idea accurately. I thought that the rules helped to keep those meanings from shifting.

His primary contention was that language was alive, constantly evolving and changing in meaning. Different languages cherry pick words and phrases from other languages, sometimes at random, sometimes by conquest. New words are constantly being born, while old words slowly die off and are forgotten. I think he viewed slang as some kind of nursery for future linquistic possibilities.

I have to admit, he may be right.

After all, they condensed an extremely specific phenomenon - in which one traverses the surface of the planet at such an incredible rate, that their biological rhythms have difficulty adapting to the dramatic change in diurnal cycle - into just two syllables.

:: 2021 17 April :: 9.46pm

had a really good birthday, just feeling pretty good about life when not looking at the parts I don't like.

it's going to be hard going back to work on Monday...

:: 2021 3 April :: 10.44am

when you realize you've become a shallow dish of the great lake you once we're

drying up like a river in california

molecule by molecule you've been dissapating into thin air

and everyone can see straight through you and none of them like what they see

vacuous space where a heart used to be, cold fingers, clammy hands, glass eyes and plastic beads for stuffing

you become one with the icy artic winds blowing over this fucked up landscape. a numbess enters you, fixing to your very core. labored breathing and far away eyes, trying to capture the warmth from you nostalgia.

just another deep emptiness of a human. wasting polluted air, generating more filth and trash. a creature so utterly lost from their home, trapped in artificial mazes of their own creation. dizzying and pointless, their minds grasping at foolish ideas of gods and cosmic flow.

when we all truly know what we come from and what we return to... endless quiet nothing. no sun, no water, no breeze or bushy trees bowing in the wind. just the end. the nothing. the nowhere. the deepest sleep.

spud

:: 2021 1 April :: 10.30pm
:: Music: The Great Outdoors (1988)

life goes on, man.

finished a painting gig today. gonna try to hold off on any more work until after the trip to phoenix. aside from the laundry list of chores amassed for me by past chris. occasionally he surprises me, but usually he just kicks the cans down the road for future chris to deal with. hopefully some dedicated time will help future chris in his efforts.

-----

the spirit of god is alive wherever people are helping others, and growing in understanding. in places where people are wrongly harming others, the spirit is dead. even if that place is a church. or a school. or a home.

this may sound like a bummer, but it is actually very encouraging to witness the spirit thriving in many diverse and unlikely places. don't let the trimmings fool you. look at the people. see who's helping. join them. doesn't really matter where.

<3

4 Shots | Point and Shoot

:: 2021 30 March :: 6.56am

so excited for birthday plans I could explode!

visit em in seattle
go to the actual ocean
staying in a fancy condo
sushi with the bestie
a whole week and change off work

oh I forgot... and getting some ink done
and the dogs are getting groomed

ahhh cannot wait

ugh so so ready for a break

:: 2021 23 March :: 9.02am

sometimes I worry I'm broken

cuz I can't cry anymore

spud	:: 2021 13 March :: 8.43pm :: Music: Breaking Bad There's a Martian yelling, "CUT! BOOM IN THE SHOT. EVERYBODY BACK TO ONES!" but you can't hear it above the wind noise. Point and Shoot

jedibumblebee

:: 2021 1 March :: 10.17pm
:: Music: Blues Traveler- Hook

"I wanna bust all your balloons/ I wanna burn all your cities to the ground..."
It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel I'll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks
Because the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don't mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow
Was that Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
Suck it in suck it in suck it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also of rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute diddys
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all your cities to the ground
I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day. Hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because
The Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hoooooook
On that you can rely

:: 2021 25 February :: 6.32am

next month is unofficially 11 years with my employer.

11 years of misery, but I'm still here.

:: 2021 21 February :: 12.19pm

I'm just so BORED

catatonicsean

:: 2021 10 February :: 11.47am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Blue Öyster Cult - Veteran of the Psychic Wars

BUSINESS AS USUAL?
Things are perty darn good.

How the hell are you?

jedibumblebee

:: 2021 9 February :: 10.53pm
:: Music: Dominic Fike- Phone Numbers

Keep my name out your mouth like some wisdom teeth/ (And you wonder why) Why I'm not there with you...
Can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Woah, Kenny!
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Yes I flew my shorty from Florida to Hollywood
Thought some gold shit looked big on me
Got some goals, it's a list on me
Yeah lil' bitch, I'm rich, I fuckin' roll you
This strippers and the stroll playin' tricks on me
The stones hittin' different
You're supposed to be pissed at me (No!)
They from Tiffany (Please)
Keep my name out your mouth like some wisdom teeth
(And you wonder why) Why I'm not there with you
(I ain't answer my phone in so long)
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Can you break bread with me?
Break break bread with me
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Can you break bread with me?
And yes I moved lil' shawty from 'round me
She been all in my business as of late
I got rich so goddamn fast, they want this bread, can't catch a break
And yes I know you're tired of hatin'
I'm tired of staring at your face
And if a bitch retaliate we can go tit for tat today
That's on my momma, that's on Big Sean, that's on Lil' A from FLA
Out here in L.A. trying to make shit shake, tryna wrap this case, ho
That's a whole 120k to the magistrate, for my parent's sake
And you still talking about sharing cake
Shut the fuck up
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Can you break bread with me?
Break break bread with me (Okay)
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me