xonixieox
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2004 6 October :: 6.40am
i kist fucking love how people have to change everything.. like if something is going good then it has to be stoped or changed.. now whoevers reading this (if thats anyone) its about more than one thing so dont fucking take it all personally.. although it is also about what oyu think..
ok so i had my first appointment and i think it helped.. except when i got home my parents decided to be fucking assholes!
ya so bean is officially gone becasue PEOPLE decided to fucking change it and add more people without yalking to the actual BEAN! so fuck that shit im done with it.. so now you can change it to beasack.. cuz i dont wanna be a part of that shit.. im done.. ijust fucking done.. there was really no piont of bean in the first place.. the B in it was never even around.. we never talked any more.. so i guess there was actually no point in it...
gr that just fucking pisses me off.. that it ws like "soooo important" and then i got to be changed for shit.. like we all get along right?? FUCK THAT!! wow its funny how gay some people can be GRRRR!!!
ahhhh im so fucking pissed
bye
just go on and say it
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krazykelc1
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2004 4 October :: 8.11pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: lloyd banks `karma
'good day
well today was good, don't know why but yeah
fyi I'm using SweetNostalgic for my cell now and this for regular AIM..
yeah thats it. Half day tomorrow =) yay
any ideas on what I should be for Halloween? :o)
just go on and say it
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xonixieox
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2004 3 October :: 8.45pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Breakaway x Kelly Vlarkson
ok so yesterday we all got caught for drinking up on da hill.....
suprisingly my brother and my cousins blamed themselves.. and not me or any of my friends...
so i was like mom dj ius just covering up for all of his friends.. so hopefully they believe me..
ya so we had to clean up all the empties.. and let me tell you there was ALOT of empties!
ya so i felt bad cuz we all got yelled at and my dad asked me who's alcohol it was and i REFUSED to tell him...
so i bought my brother a shot glass that i got engraved from things remembered.. kinda ironic tho huh? lol!
ya so we found a new spot!!!
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
ok so anyways i had a little fun on friday night.. but that was the most fun i've had in a really really long time.. and that was under the influence of alcohol!! so ya i dont know what to do about my life...
-Nik
2 you need me like a bad habbit |
just go on and say it
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krazykelc1
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2004 3 October :: 8.12pm
:: Mood: just one of those moods
:: Music: Do or Die ft. Twista `Do U -favorite song of all time
Something's gotta give
can't understand how people front happiness and a smile then turn around and talk of how their hearts are shattered and broken
"I am the weakest link"
no matter how hard I try I just can't move on.. everyone around me can do it but nope not I. one day "I fucking hate him" the next day I can't deny it, I love him
every time I pick myself up and start to walk something just pushes me back down. then there's my crazy stoned thoughts that turn my A+ effort into nothing.. there's always some obstacle in my way that I'm just too weak to fight. It's gonna take something extreme to pick me up and let me live my life again.. I only hope I have enough patience to wait for something like that to come along.
just go on and say it
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krazykelc1
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2004 2 October :: 11.28pm
:: Mood: quiet
:: Music: After Midnight
shit talker(s), you know who you are..
make sure you read my 8th comment cause obviously what I do is of some importance to you.. so that is for you to read.
I decided I'm a very confused person. Actually I'm alot of lots of things.. just confused at this point. Seems like I've come to a point where I have so many options that I don't know which way to go.. I've sort of dug myself into something that I'm not sure if I want yet.. but that's part of moving on I guess, opening doors for yourself.. seems like I have too many open now.
that was alot of garbage that half the people who read this WON'T understand but comment if you think you know, I'll give you a cookie
1 you need me like a bad habbit |
just go on and say it
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krazykelc1
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2004 1 October :: 11.29pm
:: Mood: ripped
:: Music: Bone Crusher ` Grippen the Grain
that feeling always comes back..always :-/
just go on and say it
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xonixieox
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2004 30 September :: 5.05pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: none
lately i have been really depressed..
well i dont really know why i am writing in here becasue theres really no point.. the people who look at it dont read it and the people who do read it are the ones that i either dont know or dont like...
so i guess that this journal is just for me so i can let all my feelings out..
so anyways i have been really depressed lately and i dont know why.. i have been crying myslef to sleep for a week and a half straight now.. i cant sit by myself in a quiet room for more than like 5 mins. or else i think about everything and start crying.. like right now... and i have to go to this counceling thing on tuesday and get prescribed on some stupid medication.. so i cant even relieve my stress cuz i gotta go their.. even tho its a fucking early release day and i dont have practice.. i dont wanna go to that ayside place.. i just dont wanna go.. they are only gunna tell me what i already know... but w/e...
anyways so i tried to call cristina and she didnt answer.. os i imed her, but she texted me back saying she had to go.. she obv. doesnt wanna talk to me becasue she sed she would call and she never did.. am i a bad friend or something? whatever.. i guess im not even gunna make another attempt...
i dont even wanna have a party anymore... whats the point.. to sit there when all my friends have fun... im not gunna have fun.. i havnt had fun in weeks...
anyways today in cooking traci and kim didnt let me do anything.. again... i think im just not gunna go to that class anymore.. i dont really enjoy sitting on my ass and watching people cook...
people were pissing me off all day... and at least last period kelsry made me kinda happy... thank you kelsey.. you always make me smile when i need it.. and lately i need it alot! not like anyone is reading this anyways but if you are reading it kelsey i love you.. and theirs not many people i can say that for right now..... thank you...
anyways i really just want to die so i dont have to deal with all this shit... i guess im just gunna go sit in my room and think some more now....
-Nikkie
7 you need me like a bad habbit |
just go on and say it
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krazykelc1
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2004 29 September :: 8.02pm
:: Music: grateful dead `althea
so true...
maybe in a different light
you could see me stand on my own again
'cause now I can see
you were the antidote that got me by
something strong like a drug that got me high
I never really wanted you to see
the screwed up side of me that I keep
locked inside of me so deep
it always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
so many things you should have known
what I really meant to say
is I'm sorry for the way I am
10 you need me like a bad habbit |
just go on and say it
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krazykelc1
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2004 28 September :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: The Doors ` You make me real
New Layout..
let me know what you think.
yess.. comments... keep them cominggg :-)
mL <3
2 you need me like a bad habbit |
just go on and say it
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xonixieox
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2004 27 September :: 9.05pm
:: Music: shadow x ashlee simpson
so.. so much to write about..
yesterday was my first day of work.. it wasnt all that horrible..i bagged for meg and fenelly so it was all good...
sleep over at kims last night before the game! me and traci stayed up soooooooooo late becasue she kept laughing and i couldnt stop hickuping!! hahhahahahahaahha it was so funny! we went out onto the roof with anna and hung out and just talked for a little while! it was wicked fun! kimmi has a new kitten named "regan" but its true name is hallion staleiooonn.. lmao rigghhht kimmi? lol it is the cutest fucking cat ever!!
Hallion
ya so i "talked" to emme but it wasnt really talking cuz we just commented to eachother in her journal but i really hope everything is all set and better cuz i love that child!
...
ok so fucking today at lunch joe ripped my 5 and the lunch lady was like "ahhh these girls shouldnt let the boys take their money and rip it they should hold it" and she fuckin thought i wouldnt hear her.. i was like escuse me i had it in my hand and he ripped it out! what a dtupid cunt it was so funny! shes a fucking lunch money.. that 5 was proboly what she makes a fucking day!! lmao!!!
ok thats all for now
leave comments if you love me!
-Nik
2 you need me like a bad habbit |
just go on and say it
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