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2003 10 October :: 9.24 pm
memories
i am taking this time after my bedtime (yes, my bedtime is 9:00...shut up! i'm busier than you! ;-p) to take une promenade down memory lane. or la rue des memoires. if you can say that. whatever.
this is mainly about boys. hey. it's interesting. shut up!
so i'll start with the present, fade back to the beginning of the year, and fill in the gap.
today i forced jeff to hold my hand. although i got what i wanted, i felt somewhat dissapointed that i had to MAKE him do it. and now i regret it. i should learn to just be patient and wait it out. sometimes it's hard to control myself. but ANYWAY, that's the present.
back to the beginning of my high school boy indeavors. it started at band camp. i suppose i sort of had my eye on jeff from the beginning because i remembered the french dinner event where mr. hayman had to leave because jeff had an oboe solo. this lead to a discussion about how i was so perfect for jeff.
but, as it turned out, by the end of the first week of band camp, i viewed jeff only as a friend, a good, fun person to be around at that, but nothing more. who i really had my eye on, was terrance. at this point, it was just because he was hot, and i was extremely excited that he also happened to be jeff's best friend. score for me. haha. as i sort of got to know him at band camp, i became even more obsessed, but as it would turn out, it was just a little crush. he was polite and flirty in person, so that made him appealing. i did know that he had a girlfriend, but that didn't matter to me. (as girlfriends never tend to affect my crushes...haha.) but anyway, maybe my subconscience was already telling me what i truly felt, because, as jeff told me a few days ago, i said something about 'is he the one for me' or something.
by the end of the first week of school, everything had shifted. i saw terrance with shannon, which was enough to tell me to respect their relationship. besides, i met a total hottie at the dance anyway. his name was scott dudley. junior. varsity football. polite and virginal. SEXY AS I'LL GET OUT. i remember begging my mom if i could date him if i invited him over to dinner or something so they could see who he was. one night of dancing had completely changed my outlook on lahs boys.
as it would turn out, though, my heart would be swayed AGAIN as soon as i got home. i turned on my computer to find that jeff hayman had written about 3 word document pages to me on AIM. it was this whole story about little red ridinghood and the wolf, complete with a trial scene and original plot. he also 'sang' burgundy for me, and complained about no one being online. at exactly 11, he whined that i should be home by now, the dance was over.
after reading a short bit of the story to my mom (i was quite impressed), she concluded that he must have a crush on me. seeing as my mom has NEVER been right about ANY of my crushes (okay, fade back to my former crushes: kyle-thought he liked me, well why shouldn't she? he stalked me backstage and asked where i was all the time, not to mention flirt with me 24/7. turned out he liked christina all along. and darin-thought he didn't like me. turned out he was the first one who did. see what i mean?) so naturally, i assumed that he was just bored (which, in fact, he probably was!) but was still humored by the fact that he might like me.
that weekend he probably typed to me for over 3 hours. more than half of the time i was doing math homework and grinning, concluding that he was completely obsessed over me, but at the same time, i was confused and torn between scott and jeff. i was still pretty into scott, though.
that week at school, dan and souhail made up scott squared: aka scott levin and scott dudley. a few days after that, they could add scott hayman (just for fun) and conclude with scott cubed. at this point, i was just having fun with my options, especially the fact that 3 guys i liked were named scott. i'm not sure where jeff comes in at this point. i was probably still just amused, but he must have been growing on me.
after a few weeks of not seeing scott dudley a single time, i sort of forgot about him.
i can't put my finger on when, exactly, but suddenly i found myself realizing that i had a crush on jeff. this crush turned into a bit more than a crush, and i started flirting like a madwoman. although i felt i was quite obvious, jeff didn't catch a single word of my hinting. i was a bit ticked off.
a few weeks after this began, i started telling people i wanted him to ask me to homecoming. as soon as word got to terrance, terrance started working on him to get him to ask me. i even bribed terrance to make him work harder.
that week, on thursday, which happened to be club day, pearl told me that terrance and jeff were looking for me. i was unable to be found, seeing as i was meandering between the quad and mrs. banano's room making breakthrough banners all period. i was quite excited about possibly being asked, though.
at band that thursday, my thoughts were confirmed: jeff was looking for me to 'ask me something', and terrance was making sure i didn't 'run away' or 'get lost' again for jeff. it was a busy rehersal, and i was not asked. 'another day', terrance said.
well, i waited for almost a whole week. finally, on wednesday, jeff asked me to homecoming. strangely, but at least he asked. i was a bit downhearted, but considerably more content and relaxed than i had been that entire weekend and week.
i soon figured out that jeff's mom and eleanor's entire family (well, her mom, sister, and her) were thoroughly dissapointed in jeff's way of asking me, and had discussed the matter with him and shown him the right way to ask a girl to a dance. that was quite amusing, and somewhat flattering. it was nice that people cared about my feelings after i was asked. :0D
now the weeks sort of mush together. i kept flirting with jeff...finally he started the whole 'hug thing', and just this week i was granted unlimited hugs. well, as long as i had a reason. i can't misuse the privelege, though i think i do.
and today i started the holding hands thing. as i said before, i regret that i was so forceful. my mom was kind of pissed at me. not becuase i was going too far for her liking, but because i had completely forced him into it. i realize her point, and will take her advice to lay off a bit. it's kind of hard to when everyone is screaming at you and pushing you into him. but i can work on some self-control and patience. that never hurts.
but anyway, i just thought it was odd how my crushes sort of change and grow in spastic ways. it's kind of interesting to think back on what i could have done differently and what might be different now. well, i'd better get to bed. afterall, i stopped studying for french early so i could wash my hair and get some sleep. goodnight!!
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2003 8 October :: 7.48 pm
band geek my ass
"my little sister thinks you're a goddess. YOU PLAY IN THE MARCHING BAND WOWWWWWW. r'nt u glad to kno that small children adore you?"
band geek my ass. LITTLE CHILDREN ADORE US!!
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2003 8 October :: 6.51 pm
:: Music: Rent-Santa Fe
alison
alison is so cool. i had french with her today. we laughed about random stuff and she whined about her wrist. haha. jk. but she sprained it, so she has a reason. umm, she totally started cracking up when i was talking to sarah about jeff for no reason. wow. i totally forget about WHAT we were talking about about jeff, but anyway...
alison is in my math class. which means that we'll have math together tomorrow.
she ummmm...is on the dance team. go dance team!! she has a journal. you should go see her latest entries by clicking on the link in the third entry down.
coincidentally, if you read that, you will see why i just mentioned her 3 times in my journal. heehee. it's okay ali, i love you anyway. i'll mention you next time without being asked.
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2003 8 October :: 9.45 pm
:: Mood: witty
i am so witty
so charlie and i are studying for the french quarter final...:
cheonnerd: now a toughy
cheonnerd: isralien
Horseeyoregal: irsraelienne (with an acent...somewhere)
Horseeyoregal: on the e
cheonnerd: (I got it wrong on the test
Horseeyoregal: egu
cheonnerd: wow
Horseeyoregal: am i right?
cheonnerd: good job!
Horseeyoregal: YAY!
cheonnerd: korean
Horseeyoregal: corienne
Horseeyoregal: ummm
Horseeyoregal: accent....idk
cheonnerd: core'en
cheonnerd: or core'enne
Horseeyoregal: oops
Horseeyoregal: okay
cheonnerd: boring
Horseeyoregal: penible
Horseeyoregal: or ennuyeux
Horseeyoregal: i think
cheonnerd: accents?
Horseeyoregal: on the e of penible
Horseeyoregal: '
cheonnerd: good
cheonnerd: witty
Horseeyoregal: o shit
Horseeyoregal: pardon my french
Horseeyoregal: haha
Horseeyoregal: is it spirituel?
cheonnerd: good save!!
hahahahaha. i am so witty. hahaahahaha.
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2003 8 October :: 5.42 pm
:: Music: Jeckyll and Hyde-Good n Evil (haha my only song from the show)
today was okay. i'm the senator of my p.e. class. yay! leadership!! the only problem is, i don't know where it meets. i know when, though, and i have like a month to figure that out.
i have a french qf and a biology test friday. ugh. and a lab due. labs suck. and so does stippling. and so does mrs. williams. but i shouldn't complain about her, i'm quite lucky in the biology department.
m. youatt started talking about hair today because gerry wouldn't stop playing with hers. i almost started cracking up...what does she know about hair?!?! lmao.
i've been getting pretty light homework recently. and next week will be even less because of homecoming week. wohoo!
band competition this weekend! yay again!
we played for almond today. it was sooo cool!! we marched there, and when we came to the group of almond walker ppl, they all stepped aside and started cheering for us. it was sooo cool. we totally f-ed up burgundy, though. haha. I wasn't rushing, though. *insert gloating smile here*
i wish people would stop pushing me into jeff. it's really annoying. not that i don't want to hug him or anything, but it's not like we need to hug 24/7. it's not like ANYONE needs to hug 24/7. SO STOP PUSHING ME!
i stayed up till 10 watching cinderella last night. it was cute. the ending takes WAY too long, though. i don't know how all of those toddlers could sit through the ending.
dinner plans are fun. i'll say more when i have more info.
i'll end on a random note:
i want halloween candy. mmmmm...
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2003 6 October :: 7.55 pm
:: Music: Rhapsody in Blue
I BOUGHT MUSIC TODAY!! YAY!!
i had to pick up some stuff at west valley music, and this time, i actually got to buy music!! ahhh! this could have been SOO much more fun if i wasn't restricted to 'happy, up-beat, professional sounding pieces' from the square cpg people. i doubt all of the senior citizens have biases against classical music. well i cracked. i bought a stupid disney book with a cd (just to humor them) and then allegro and finale from rhapsody in blue. it's cool. i'm happy. i got home and played clarinet for two hours. it was nice.
apparently marching band is doing a standstill performance at almond on wednesday...what?!?! idk, whatever. i wish we could be in uniform and march. i remember when the lahs marching band came when i was at almond...i thought it was soo cool. and the uniforms and marching make it like 10 million times cooler...oh well.
marching band competition this weekend!! WOOHOO!!!
french test tomorrow...ugh. but french is so funny. ali, sarah and i just laugh the entire period, keith messes up his french, matt doesn't pay attention, and charlie always talkes about marching band. and m. youatt wears a wig and a freaky eye necklace. it's quite a unique class.
got a 97% on my tres hard ch. 2-3 bio test. this is with the curve. without it, i would have gotten an 89%. still tres bon, considering i was freaking out over this test and studying like crazy while learning absolutely NOTHING!!
i can't wait till homecoming week! yay!!
current worry: dropping out of interact for gsa. do i want to? yes, but gsa is cool cuz lotsa cool ppl are in it and we got pizza and like...yeah. and what about christian club?? my christian morals are haunting me!!
speaking of christian haunts, they are currently keeping me from 2 of the best parties EVER! our yg puts on a freakilicious and fabtastic haunted house every year. roughly dozens of hours are spent planning this event every year. it is like our THING. and we're having a sleepover from the 31-1 to put it all together. the event is the 1st from about 5-8 (it always goes till about 10 and then cleanup till about 11 or so). i will completely miss the pyt tony/techie awards (for the second year in a row) as well as a super duper website-renewing clarinet party at jeff's house. GRRR!!
oh, and i am now mentioned in the bottom of jeff's profile in tiny lettering. i feel special. i convinced him to include me. :0D
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2003 5 October :: 1.11 pm
:: Music: Phil Collins-You'll Be In My Heart
to quote from nicole's journal:
"church stuff: alex's ass is niiiice. patrick... doesn't have an ass. it's like... not there. lol. he's still extremely sexy. i think i kind of gave kyle an upskirt view when i flipped my legs over onto the couch. oh well. he doesn't care. hm.. what else? oh, the joy sunday school teachers are bitches and they like yelled at melissa for no reason. it was retarded. there was lots of bread today for world communion day. yummm. we ate lots of bread. melissa wrote a letter to _____ during the sermon explaining the bitchtrocity of the joy teacher bitches. i found it funny. oh, and me and melissa are the best hymn singers there are. oh baby."
it is so true. we just hymn sing like...idk...hymn singers!! yeah!! and the bread was good. mmmm.... and it was soo funny with alex's ass. he was ushering. the ushers allow people to go for communion by standing by the aisles and moving back as people are served. he was on our side of the row, so he stepped back...and back...and back...and of course he's facing the other way so the ass is getting closer...closer...closer. and nicole's like OOOOH BABY. it was soo funny.
but in general, sunday school and everything else was a complete disaster. i tried to put my emotions on paper in a letter to ______ as nicole said. haha. i feel so stupid for putting a line there. whatever. but anyway, i used real english, ya know, essay-type wording, not the crap we all use online, and nicole started laughing when she read it. i was sad. well here. screw it. i'll type it.
"Dear _______,
I'm definately going to need another hug. Why is it that church, a place of worship, joy, and acceptance, has recently turned into an unforgiving and hurtful place for em? I am currently in training to take over the acolytes (the two youth who carry in the candles and help the pastors in worship). This week, the senior who usually organizes it was off college-looking, so her boyfriend told me to do it myself. I went to the jr. high scunday school class, and politely (or so i thought, apparently) asked if 2 of them would like to acolyte. No one responded, so I warned them that I would have to pick if no one spoke up. *note: there was a pause here, as no one was willing to look at me for fear of being chosen. acolyting is NOT THAT BAD! they're just silly little shy junior high schoolers! grrr!!* Lyn Brown, the sunday school teacher, then promptly yelled "Pick and GET OUT OF HERE, Melissa!" And I mean full out yelled. I was completely aghast, so I chose 2 people and left. After our sunday school lesson, I was told to... *insert nicole's laughter here and mocking of the word 'aghast' this was when i interrupted my letter and wrote:* NICOLE IS A BITCH!! jk. but she just made fun of my language. grrr!! ...remind the acolytes to go get ready for the service. I walked in again, looked, saw that the two had left, and started to walk out. I didn't even say anything. Nevertheless, she, Lyn, and this time her husband, Bob, as well, elled at me to get out. I was alreadyo n my way out!! And this time, my friend David was with me. We looked at each other afterward in silent understanding. *insert shocked faces of mel and david here, as well as more laughter from nicole and a mockery of 'silent understanding'* Why had we been yelled at? We never liked this lady when she taught us, (and that's an understatement) but what had provoked her to get WORSE?!?! Now for a personal thought. Why does God put people such as this woman into our lives, let alone TEACH 6-8 graders in the church? What lesson is learned from this? I didn't realize how affected I was by these episodes until I found myself walking to my mom and demanding a hug. There were tears in my eyes as I recalled the morning's events. What good has this done me? How am I a better person because of it? Sometimes I just don't understand people.
-Melissa"
so yeah. that's that.
i have to go do homework. i have a long time, but i've been procrastinating horribly. adieu!
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2003 4 October :: 7.27 pm
:: Music: Mandy Moore-Only Hope
CRAP!! i had the LONGSET entry written and i accidentally clicked on a link so it's all gone! i'll start again, i guess...
we had our first marching band performance today!! it was at mountain view. i thought we did pretty well, but then again, i couldn't see us at all. it is such a powerful feeling to be in our uniforms, all serious and focused, determined to do the best we possibly can, yelling 'LA!' and all. it was really really fun. performing must definately be a part of my life forever.
mountain view was...big. the band, that is. jeff and i agreed that their drumline is as good as our band and our drumline is as good as their band. their drumline can actually drum in time!! wow, what a concept. their drill was simple, as was most of their music. their theme was elements...it was pretty cool. the flags were awesome!! water was a really pretty shimmery blue, fire was all sheared and shiny and stuff...very cool. they even had a male color guard!! i thought that was awesome. their center drum major....man!! oh baby. dark brown, curly hair...tall. it was nice. i probably spent more time looking at him than i did the band.
which is not to say that i am unhappy with my current romantic life. ha. if you can call it that! lmao. i did get another hug today...
o and speaking of romance stuff, mr. hayman's gonna drive jeff and i to homecoming, dress up as a chaufer, and sit in his car during the dance and smoke. hahahaha. my mom says she wants a picture of all three of us. should be interesting...
and it seems that our parents are definately getting along. my mom talked to becky for over half an hour this morning!! jeez!!
o and i think i can speak for the band when i say 'WHAT IS UP WITH THAT TRUMPET-PLAYING, BRASS SPECIALIZING, SHOULD-BE-DIRECTING-A-CONCERT-BAND GUY?!?!?!' he must have stopped us 5 times during our 'final runthrough' this afternoon. ARGH!! he really needs to find himself a talented concert band...he's too picky. and annoying.
i need to go write an essay on pericles' oration. ugh.
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2003 2 October :: 7.45 pm
:: Music: Colours-Burgundy
ooooo
today was a very gossipy day. i learned lots of stuff. it mostly had to do with kissing. and i'm not too suprised of one couple's kiss, but the other...wow. i had no idea. it's just hard to picture. i think everyone who knows knows what i mean. it's just uncharictaristic. but then again, it would be uncharictaristic of me, and i've done similar things. at least she made the first move.
i am sooooo sore. i picked to wrong day to do as many push-ups as humanly possible. we had like boot camp at marching band rehersal today. horns up for sooo long. it was painful.
secret buddies were distributed today. OMG!! *grin* i am gonna have SOOOOOOO much fun with this. sooo much fun....:0D
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2003 1 October :: 3.40 pm
:: Music: petite enfant-something we sing in girls' ensemble
ha. i tried so hard to come home with a mindset of 'i WILL get all of my homework done and more!' but i knew it wasn't gonna happen. so now i'm just procrastinating. i have a voice lesson in 20 minutes. woohoo. i think i should pray that mr. troll'll be able to turn me into a singer by the end of the hour. haha.
i'm so hungry. no reason. want food...
question: should i listen to the girls 21 rehersal tomorrow at lunch (an assignment, but i can do this later) or go to the christian club meeting (which i forgot about last week)?
hmm. i don't have much else to say. i'm feeling rather apathetic and hungry.
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2003 30 September :: 7.58 pm
getting in the fairy tale mood, thanks to ali
I am Rapunzel!
Find your fairy tale character at kelly.moranweb.com.
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2003 30 September :: 7.49 pm
:: Music: Jesus Christ Superstar-I Don't Know How To Love Him
emergency update
jeff hugged me today! ahhh!!
mr. shaull is auditioning about 3 more girls for concert choir (possibly more depending on how many guys join...so to all guys: AUDITION FOR CONCERT CHOIR!!!) and he's even adding like 2 ppl to girls 21!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! yeah. i know. i'm not getting my hopes up. but that's like totally fucking awesome.
i am missing mon mellieur copine's quatorizieme anniversaire because i have a band competition. AHHG!! i'm also missing the first PYT dance of the year. (not such a bug loss, the last one i went to SUCKED!!) but still, 2 parties gone. oh well. i'll be with friends. :0D
i'm so happy now. i've been wanting a hug for a while. oh, and i might tell you about my homecoming dress if you ask. i finally cracked in geometry and told shrina about it. so yeah. just ask. it won't be publically posted, though. i'll keep it a secret for those of you who wish to be surprised. ;0D
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2003 29 September :: 8.52 pm
:: Music: Jesus Christ Superstar-Gethsemane
Which CHICAGO Character are You? Find out!
Which Disney Princess are You?Find out!
maybe that’s a hint. Or maybe not…you decide. *coughhomecomingdresscough*
Which Holiday are YOU? Find out @ RelentlessDivas.Net!
What's Your Personality?Find out!
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2003 29 September :: 2.22 am
:: Music: Jesus Christ Superstar
HOMECOMING DRESS!!
omg. formal dress shopping might possibly be the most FUN THING EVAR!!! AHHH!! they make me look so sophisticated and pretty! i love it!! and yes, i got a formal one. screw the semi-formal short junk. i still have like 5 scars on my legs from summer (stupid saddle sores!!) so that wasn't gonna be an option. but OMG I GOT THE CUTEST DRESS!! it totally fits the theme too!! it's soooo pretty. i want it to be a surprise, but i'll just say that i look like a princess. like a disney one. but with a really pretty, thin-but-humanly-possible, cute twist. it was between this one and a bright pink halter one that made me look just gorgeous too. but this one was definately fairy-tale-ish and more "melissa". omg. it is just so cute.
i also got a new strapless bra (all shimmery...though i'm NOT planning on showing it to anyone...heehee) and 4 new thongs. sooo cute thongs. omg. white, purple, and 2 blue ones with sparkles. soo cute. omg.
o and i got shoes. just sort of white, strappy, small heel shoes. ugh. i HATE shoe shopping. and i was so tired by then that i was just like whatever. i still need to get a necklace though. the neckline's strait but really low, so i'll need something. o and my mom's gonna experiment with my hair and get me some sparkely clip thing that matches. it'll be cool. and i'll get my nails done and my eyebrows waxed. heehee!! so much fun stuff to do!
upcoming news: first marching band 'performance' saturday. it's actually a preview, but we're going all out with uniforms and stuff. should be cool. got a 3 page list of crap to buy and what to bring for it. sheesh. pretty funny, actually. should be awesome!!
and HAHAAHAH to all of you people who want to know what my dress looks like. *sticks tongue out* i'll try to scan/post pictures. maybe nicole can help with that...idk if any of us have a digital camera, though... oh well. whatever. we'll be SO CUTE! omg. haha jeff's most likely gagging right now. don't worry, jeff, i'll be pretty. :0D
hahahaha omg. sarah said that jeff's mom acted out his way of asking me to homecoming and then showed him the proper way. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! i think that's hilarious. i'm quite amused...;-)
jeff, WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MUCH HW?? YOU SHOULD BE ONLINE TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW!!
ugh. i guess i might get started on some extra hw or something. not likely. i want a decent conversation!!
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