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2003 7 August :: 10.43 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Children of Eden-Let There Be
i'm back from disneyland!!
yup. but i'm leaving friday afternoon to go whitewater rafting with 'the family'. i think it's so ironic that 'the family' consists of only one person actually related to me. whatever.
anyway, disneyland was fine. we had a thing so we could get as many fastpasses as we wanted back to back so that was cool. we went on everything at least twice. well not everything in california adventure cuz it sucks over there, but yeah. o and my feet no longer look ghostly. they're actually sort of tan now.
i think i'm suffering from children of eden withdrawal...okay, mainly NIC ROULEAU withdrawal!! ahh!!!
this is totally random, but i was thinking of things that would make me smile during the plane ride home and i just couldn't stop smiling because of the old room 7 rap that nicole made up in like 4th grade: yo. i gotta go. pee. everybody listen to me. wee wee is another name for pee. cuz yo. i gotta go. pee. HAHAHAHAAHHHAAHAHAHA. sorry but that's just hilarious. AND WORHSIP MEEEE!! (okay random...but its in the song)
o i had a dream about nic the other night. i like broke my leg doing the splits or something and his dad came to my rescue. niiiiceee... so yeah. then he was by my side in the hospital bed. held my hand...sang to me...got IN the bed...yeah. quite nice. :0D
but he's not the only guy i've been thinkin about...yeah, i've got a list goin again. but its really between two guys now... BUT OMG SPEAKING OF GUYS....JEFF MARTIN IS IN THE NEWSPAPER!!! SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY!!!
AAAAAAHHHAAHAHAOOOWEEEEYYAHAHHHH. yup, its now the naming.
okay well i dont have much else to say right now...I WANT NIC AND JEFF AND ummm....NICKY AND SCOTT AND LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO PROBABLY READ THIS!!
aahahahaaaaaoooweeyyyahhhhh it is done. ALL DONE!!
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2003 1 August :: 2.40 pm
today
Today was the SETT showcase. (Not Saturday, as I originally thought.) It went alright. I babbled a few words and missed a slap in my fight scene, but that's ok. I had a REALLY bad partener that kept moving her hand and coming too close so i'm not surprised the slap didn't work.
I'm still sick. woopdeedoo. oh! will and noel came to the showcase. pretty funny. good for them. o and will looked REALLY good...haha.
i still have to horseback ride today even though i'm sick and tuesday's lesson was hell. i reeeallly don't want to ride.
i'm leaving for disneyland tomorrow for about a week. (5 days) The rest of my summer is jam-packed. I don't have any free saturdays and only 2 semi-free sundays until school starts. i hope i get well soon...
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2003 28 July :: 6.43 pm
i finally have some time!!
yay. well, i still feel crappy, but at least now i have an afternoon to try to get well. i know it's dangerous to post pictures on the internet...especially when they're of a hottie like me...(hehe jk) but sarah gave me the idea so here are some grad night pictures:
http://www.brianorlovphoto.com/egangrad2003/Thumbnails/egan_014121.jpg
http://www.brianorlovphoto.com/egangrad2003/Thumbnails/egan_013120.jpg
http://www.brianorlovphoto.com/egangrad2003/Thumbnails/egan_216323.jpg
http://www.brianorlovphoto.com/egangrad2003/Thumbnails/egan_126233.jpg
ummm i'm not gonna be going to the movies cuz of my lil health issues, but i'll be at the thursday 1:00 and friday 7:30 COE performances so feel free to come. just call me so u can sit by me at the 7:30 show.
well i'm off to be lazy...yay!!
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2003 27 July :: 12.26 pm
just a quick update
i've been working backstage for COE all week and this weekend. i'm exhausted. i'm sick. i want to sleep. i want to marry nic rouleau. all of these are on my to do list at the moment.
the show's been going well. GO SEE IT. i will go crazy with all of the letters i will recieve begging me to donate money to pyt if they don't get enough ticket sales. IT'S A DAMN GOOD SHOW. GO SEE IT!! look at www.pytnet.org at the calender for times. zebra's is my favorite cast, although nic is in both.
anyone want to see a movie next week? maybe tuesday, wednesday, or thursday? my mom and brian are going to see the terminator and i really don't want to go. the deal is i can see another movie if i go with someone else.
hope your summer's been going well!
i'm off to 2 more performances of COE, a clarinet lesson, and no sleep.
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2003 22 July :: 9.48 pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Children of Eden-A Ring of Stones
today
my mom's gonna be soo pissed if she finds me on right now...for some reason she decided that she'd just go cuddle with brian in the dark for like 5 hours after the movie and go to bed early...o God...i just realized what that might mean... o well that's her life. she can screw if she wants to...I mean...she can screw IT UP if she wants to...
ha. so anyway, my day was pretty cool. spent the morning at PYT (well...8:30-3) learning acting techniques and playing improv games and acting and such. it's gonna be really fun!! we have a stage combat workshop with Dexter Fidler (amazing guy, probably famous) tomorrow for a whoppin 4 hours!! it's a pretty intense camp. i'm gonna learn A LOT. it's also really fun and most of the ppl there are nice. o, and kristi knows my name. thats a plus.
at 5 i was at the theatre for the first night of tech!! well, tecnically tonight was just load-in and safety and all that garbage, but nicole and i learned how to do aging make-up and put on wigs!! yoy!! so we (well at least me cuz my mom is gonna let me go to tech every night this week) are gonna help out all the luvely ppl at children of eden for the next week and weekend. YAY!! the only problem is the whole whatthefuckamisupposedtodoaboutkyleandchristina thing... eh, i'll figure it out.
o speaking of boys, a really good friend of mine just IMed me tonight for the first time this summer. he really made my day! it was just really nice to hear from him...especially because he was being nice to me. haha. i only realized that he's been less than nice to me when i told my mom that he IMed me and the first thing out of her mouth was 'he was nice to you, wasn't he?' in a way that was a he'sbeenlessthannicetoyouinthepast reminder. oh well. i think my mom's overprotective. i mean, dating weallknowwhoi'mtalkingabout is really safe compared to the people i could be dating right now...so i dont think she should worry about him.
the only bad thing that happened today was that i realized that i'm leaving 2 saturdays from now for disneyland avec my father. the showcase for SETT is saturday at 1. this is shit. i hope my daddy can rearrange the flights because i REALLY want to be in that showcase. so damn. i hope it works out!!
well this has been way too long for a 'i'll just update quickly in the dark and hope my mom doesn't catch me' update. oh well. goodnight!! i've got a loong day tomorrow: sett till 3, hbriding from 4-5ish, tech from 5ish-10. late night. stage combat. wowzers. k i'll be tired tomorrow. so i better go to sleep now. goodnight!!
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2003 20 July :: 9.19 am
:: Mood: optimistic
i'm so unoriginal
My life is rated PG-13.
What is your life rated?
i just look through other ppl's journals and take their quizzes.
well anyway, pool party in about 4 hours!!
the bad news: i was hella good to my skin at camp, but last night i just killed my forehead. my bangs can't cover the acne ALL the time... :0( oh well. it's what's on the inside that counts, right? and plus, i've lost about 7 pounds so far on my diet...plus the fact that i've gained a lot of muscle... hehe. i DO look better.
so yeah. we'll see how that turns out. so far i think it'll be fine though. :0D
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2003 19 July :: 4.21 pm
i really like this quiz....but
You are Peace.
You are at peace with your self and the world
around you. You have balance in your life and
exude tranquility from every pore of your body.
People are constantly asking you "what is
your secret?"
What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
...I agree with Yahya. How is peace an emotion?
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2003 19 July :: 2.33 pm
dunno...we'll see how it turns out...
well i have a lot to say and a lot of time to say it all. the problem is where to start, and how i want this to turn out. man, i stand by my famous line: 'keep talking!! if i think too much i get so confused!'
so i'll try to 'talk' and not get too confused.
i warn you now: this will be long. you will not want to read all of it. this is for me, not for you. you have no obligation to read it all. you will not be any less of a friend to me if you stop here.
so...got back from camp a few hours ago. amazing experience. i wish the words would just flow out of me to describe this wonderful, eventful experience.
(k, am i spelling that right? isn't that what jeff mispelled on the marching band poster?? o gosh...better stop thinking)
the camp is camp unique, held for 3 two-week sessions at woodside priory every year. you know the priory, its a great campus, even if the school is just comme-ci comme-ca. i took drama, dance, yoga, and horseback riding. in between classes i worked my *insert what u want to say about my ass here* ass off in between those times doing various things: helping councelors set up for activities, helping anya with lunch stuff, doing snack duty...etc. now i can't say that i didn't have ANY time to chill, but it was definately limited.
being a CILT (camper in leadership training) did have its perks though. we had a CILT night instead of doing bingo night with 9 pints of haagen daaz ice cream and 3 large pizzas. we stayed up till around 11 (ooo...so late...haha) chatting with mark and richard (o kill me now I LUV THEM) about random shit. got jamba juice when jenn 'left', and stayed up till around 2 last night (well technically today) eating mc donalds and watching 'a walk to remember'.
and these are only a fraction of the memories.
there was the fact that i was on a diet...(tomorrow morning we'll see how well i did) endless excersise, amazing learning experirences especially riding at springdown and jumping with carol on rembrandt, skyler, and pizazz, and learning what kind of a person i want to be from the councelors. lynn, jen, tucker, christine, and matt especially taught me a few things about what i can become.
even at camp there was the stupid hierarchy of popularity. i was so focused on myself though that it didn't bother me as it could have until a few days ago. yeah, so maybe i'm selfish and self-centered, but i felt like that was what i needed to do to get the full camp experience this summer. and its not like i was in my own little world; i helped countless campers cheer up and let many new people into my life.
a few of them were chloe and claire, both from france. claire roomed with ali, nicole, and i, and chloe with danielle, bianca, and lindsay. although chloe was a bit on the lesbian side (not a problem, just a little scary and uncomfortable at times) she was nice and ummm...yeah. she's cool. very outgoing and i'm thankful that she was there to help out claire.
claire was quieter, less touchy-feely (thank God) but a really great person. except for her random theiving schemes and turning down the fan every night, she was nice.
its really sad that biana's never coming back.
geez, i've run out of words already. it was just an amazing session and i think it was proven last night when everyone just hugged and cried for an hour at campfire.
***
now on to a different, just as major issue: i think my mom is engaged. gee, i wonder who? yup. he bought her a ring at the art and wine festival.
i really do see ali's point that it might just have been an artsy fartsy still-dating but getting more serious gesture, but you never know. its kind of sad that i can't trust them. they were dating for at least 3 months last summer without me knowing. my mom would say she was flying to san diego alone, and stay with him at his house. i did get suspicious once, but never knew the extent of what was going on AT ALL. not a clue.
so in a lot of ways, i'm really innocent compared to most kids who go through a divorce. i think its my subconcious mind trying to protect me. i mean, i even read in brian's letter to me at camp that he bought her a ring and TOTALLY skipped over it. i threw the thought away before it could even skim the surface of my emotions. it was a couple of days before ali read it and it finally got to me that he could be hinting at something.
***
and on to new things again. life is just really confusing. and so are the people in this world. i have mixed emotions for so many people and its just driving me crazy. i hate stupid 12 year olds that think they know all about relationships and then snoot down on other people who've 'never even had a boyfriend'. i wonder how many of those relationships are completely superficial. i wonder how much i know about what a REAL relationship is all about. and i wonder about the people i've met, loved, and lost, and how i should be affected by them, and how i've affected them. it would be nice if everything was black and white, but then i guess life just wouldn't be interesting.
there are a lot of things to think about now that i'm going into highschool. each day i think i want to be a different person, and see myself becoming a different role. it seems that right now, with my open, optimistic mind, i could fit into any of the steriotypes of a high school. i just don't know which one i'll be.
***
alright, now onto the near future: i'll be attneding SETT (summer educational theatre training) camp for the next 2 weeks. the weekend in between those weeks, children of eden opens.
this is a big thing. nicole and i want to work backstage. this could be a serious possibility because we'll be seeing the director every day at SETT. hmmm...
the fact that it will be the one anniversary show of the fucked up trama of me and kyle is also something to ponder. he's now with christina. i don't really care. but do i? je ne sais pas. i really don't know.
with theatre people, things can get ugly sooo quickly. i dont know if i want to plunge head first into a popularity/love triange soap opera right now. maybe i would learn a valuble lesson about life; maybe i would be better off spending my time working out and concentrating on my body rather than my feelings.
i just don't know.
***
pool party tomorrow. HELL YES. david, andrew, ruthie, annie, thomas, nicole, me. could be crazy cool...haha.
church rocks. it just does. its such a big part of me and i love it. although i have my doubts, my faith overrides them. well...usually. but this pool party could rock.
***
well, i'm feeling kind of empty now. uh oh, never mind. well whatever. too much thinking DOES make me confused. empty and full at the same time.
my apologies for any weird, random grammatical errors. but i think i'm doing pretty well considering that anya, soon to be a senior at a high school in san francisco, can't tell the difference between addition and edition... :-/
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2003 6 July :: 9.07 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Urinetown-Act One Finale
Urinetown, Fourth of July, Camp
Okay i'm gonna go in opposite order here. I'm leaving for Camp Unique tomorrow at Woodside Priory at 1:00 PM. I'm gonna be a CILT with Ali and Nicole and WE'RE GONNA ROCK THE PARTAY!! WOOHOO!! hehe. well, it'll definately be fun. so...i'll be gone for 2 weeks. the only way to reach me is by mail. PLEASE SEND ME MAIL!! I GET EVER SO LONELY (not)!! BUT I FEEL SO SPECIAL WHEN I GET MAIL SO WRITE TO ME!!
CAMP ADDRESS:
302 Portola Road
Portola Valley, CA 94028
pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease write to me!!
4th of july was pretty cool. i was at my daddy's new townhouse somewhere near dublin and pleasenton. i woke up at noon (haha) and we went to eat at an omlette place downtown. i ordered a vegetarian omlette (seeing as i'm on this diet...) AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME?? well you should...that took a hell of a lot of self control there... well then i hung out and watched West Side Story and stuff. around 5 we went to this cool block party at my dad's work friends' house. even though i was much too old to be there, i had a surprisingly good time talking with the adults and petting the puppies and watching the water fight. a highlight was watching a man give his father a one-fingered backwards high five. haha. that's what he called it at least. then my dad and i left for shoreline where I DIDN'T SEE SEZY!! HOW UNFAIR IS THAT?? well anyway we watched a cute lil magic show before the symphony started playing...hot magician...hehe.
the san francisco symphony deserves its own paragraph. it was *insert every complimentary adjective here*. amazing. superb. brilliant. touching. beautiful. I LOVED IT!! if classical music can rock, this did!!
fireworks were also superb.
today my dad and i went to see urinetown, the musical. it was great. hilarious. but i'll leave it at that. don't wanna spoil it. :-p (and i mean that in an UNsexual way)
well, to put this entry full-circle, i'll repeat the beginning. i am leaving for camp tomorrow and will arrive there at 1 PM. i'll be gone for 2 weeks. WRITE TO ME!!!
and here's a shout-out to SEZY!! HEY SEZY!! U ROCK FOR READING MY JOURNAL!! IN FACT, YOU JUST ROCK IN GENERAL!! LUV YA BABE!!
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2003 3 July :: 5.26 pm
:: Mood: satisfied
:: Music: Rent-Take Me or Leave Me
o how i hate stupid ppl
i just have no patience for stupid ppl. so i decided to use my intellect to confuse one. i think this is great...she asked me what was up and i said 'i'm reading some things that teller wrote...like as in penn and teller' she replies: 'o that must be boring' so i defend myself by saying 'no, he's a really smart man.' well, she just can't understand that ANYONE would read things that a smart person wrote, so she says 'well me and my friends would never read stupid things like that' so, naturally, i get a lil pissed at that and say 'well you don't like to read, so that's just you.' and then it hits me *bam* she's really stupid! let's see what i did...
SoCcEr 02 L M: i like to read
SoCcEr 02 L M: just not stupid stuff
Horseeyoregal: well if u think i do stupid things why do u IM me all the time?
SoCcEr 02 L M: i didn't say u do stupid things
SoCcEr 02 L M: lemme check cuz i don't remember saying that
SoCcEr 02 L M: SoCcEr 02 L M: i like to read
SoCcEr 02 L M: just not stupid stuff
SoCcEr 02 L M: that's wut i said
Horseeyoregal: uhuh
Horseeyoregal: meaning that i read stupid stuff
SoCcEr 02 L M: no, i didn't say that
Horseeyoregal: read is a verb, which is an action word, meaning that i DO stupid things
Horseeyoregal: its sort of like the formula 'if x=y and y=z then x=z'
SoCcEr 02 L M: umm oook
yup. i think i stumped her. :0D it's nice to be smart.
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2003 2 July :: 6.56 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Song and Dance-Unexpected Song (i wish...)
voice lesson
OMG IT WAS ACTUALLY GOOD!! i thought it was gonna be bad cuz my voice was hella tired after camp, but since i'm not singing that stupid oklahoma song, i actually tried *gasp* and i was actually getting somewhere today!! even though my stupid voice is still being immature and not breaking at the proper place, i really did learn some stuff today. so it was satisfying. i'm singing some cool songs right now and i'll be starting on some italian stuff in a few weeks when i get back from camp. (o joy...) but that does mean i'm getting somewhere. so yeah. the only bad thing that happened today was that my clarinet wasn't ready when we went to west valley to pick it up (i lost a screw) so my mom got hella pissed and i'm in trouble...band camp could be interesting... well anyway life is pretty good and it should be fun tomorrow too. we're doing the little camp show tomorrow so i'll hafta be good and not swear in front of the camper's parents...haha cheryl'll swear anyway, who cares? eh, i wont swear, i havent been recently. it shud be fun to see what the kids come up with for costumes though... :0D o and i'm leaving for my dad's house tomorrow. i'll be there till saturday afternoon, but the comp shud be installed when i get there so i'll be online. on sunday i'll be leaving for camp though, so if you want to contact me, you'll have to write. i'll post this later too, but the address is:
302 Portola Road
Portola Valley, CA
94028
and i like letters so WRITE TO ME!!
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2003 2 July :: 1.36 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
well i'm just gonna do a short entry to update stuff. i've been workin at the barn all week and it's been fun. i've been hanging with some of my frienids: mary, julie, and nicole, and they're a lot of fun too. most of the campers are pretty nice, even if they can't ride or tack up for shit, and there's only one that really pisses me off, so that's good. yesterday mary, julie, and i walked down to andronico's to buy lunch.
my family's going on a diet. we're so determined to lose weight that we have an excel spreadsheet with our weights on it and we have to weigh ourselves every wednesday and friday to chart the weight loss. it's been like 2 or 3 days and i've lost 3 pounds. wohoo!!
i backed out of a youth group picnic thing today cuz my acne's still sorta bad (but getting better!) and i'm just exhausted from yesterday. we had to jog/run around the arena leading the little kids at a trot. it was really tiring, especially cuz it was hot. then, as i said, we walked down to andronico's which is a 30 minute walk one-way. julie and i had like a little under an hour to just chill but then we had to tack up and ride cuz we had a lesson. i was on lulu, who got kicked, so she hasn't been used in a week. now lulu's usually a nutcase, so without being ridden for a week, she was crazy. we didn't even jump. it was tiring and it sucked.
well now i'm still tired and i'm gonna go read. i have a voice lesson at 4. i REALLY don't wanna go, but how else am i gonna improve? mr troll can go to hell. he's just too damn unsupportive and annoying. i'll try to remember some of the things he says to me this week. the only thing i can remember from last week is:
him: are you normally shy?
me: umm...a little
him: doesn't that suck when you're into performing but you're shy?
but it was more hurtful than that. i can't remember the exact words, but u get the gist of things. i'm sorry, but I'M NOT A FUCKING SOUTHERN GIRL, AND I'M NO ADO ANNIE!! i'm just a girl who CAN say no, and that song pisses me the fuck off!! and i dont wanna do the stupid accent either and sound like an idiot whore. so yeah, i guess in mr. troll's eyes i'm just shy... grrrrrrrrr!!!
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2003 30 June :: 7.44 pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Rent-Over the Moon
downtown
omg i was just downtown with my mom and brian to get jamba juice (we walked) and there were SOO MANY HOT GUYS!! omg we all have to just go down there and hang out and look pretty and stare at all the hotties that walk by!! it wud be soo much fun!! hehe. just a thought...:0D
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2003 30 June :: 1.32 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Rent-Seasons of Love
horse camp
well i went to da barn to help out with horse camp today. the advanced ppl aren't really that advanced at all so between me, mary, julie, and nicole there is a lot to do! there are like 10 kids that know absolutely nothing so we've just sort of got to run around and try to help all of them at once. we just got 2 new horses, but only one of them is being used, and we had like A TON of deaths last year (our horses were just getting old) so we're at sort of a loss for nice, easy, quiet horses. so of course they're using 2 of my favorite horses: Lulu and Fergal. ugh. i hate it when they use the horses i like in camp cuz the stupid ppl ruin them!! they can't ride for shit so they just mess 'em up. haha i have a lesson tomorrow and there aren't gonna be any horses that can go out cuz they'll all be used in camp! i'll probably ride Ivy again, i guess. the advanced ppl can barely trot so maybe Fergal can go out again...idk. depends on if the adults use him.
well i'm sorry that none of you care about my horse troubles, but that's really all that happened today. i'll be home for the rest of the day so call if ya wanna do somethin. :0D or just talk to me on AIM or whatever. that works too.
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2003 30 June :: 10.06 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Rent-Seasons of Love
it's sooo weird, when i'm talking to this one person i get sooo happy. it's great though. actually, a lot of people make me uncontrollably happy when i talk to them (guys mostly...haha) but this one just really really makes me happy. well hell, i'm not complaining!
o and everyone download seasons of love from rent, its a really good song!
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