<center>My Auto-Ethnography</center>

:: 2005 24 August :: 6.56pm
:: Mood: lazy

Been back from Cornwall for a few days now, but I forgot to update...

Eeep... Results day tomorrow.

:: 2005 20 August :: 8.59pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: powder. (brilliant!)

stufg. and even more about me.
gonna be a short entry i think for today- i dont see why not as nobody else seems to updating either. Rach came over today and we ended up watching coyote ugly, yeah ok, i know that tis utltimate CHEESE but there is an extremely attractive woman that dances on the bar- phwoorrr!! ok, the pervy me has now going into recess. nothing much has happened. Mark (sisters brother in law (32)) asked me to marry him (yuk) and said how fit mira was (she also said yuk) and had his head in my lap (it was covered by clothing, blanket and pillow.) after me, mira and my sister came home from skinny dipping (we didnt run in naked, we stipped once covered by the murky waters) i've never skinny dipped before and it was rather liberating, every thing floats. i was checked out by girl in norwich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this of course has made me happy. also has my hair cut (pitch black, fringe, red tips. trust me, looks good or sexy depending who tells me.) also things that have made me happy is that i;'ve been told by 5 different people this week that they think i have a nice singing voice and by one person that my writing was good. this has made me SOOOOOO happy. but also things have made me sad. nothing in particular, i just over analyse things, worry to much and get sad at pretty much anything. any way, next entry i am planning to talk about me some more (its ok coz its MY journal so naah!!!) only im gonna talk about my past coz you guys dont really know of me before this journal do you? its only an idea any way so if there are any obgections- comment. or you can comment anyway. please do. i need proof that there are others out there that exist.

1 Hey Miss Murder | Can I?

:: 2005 12 August :: 9.54pm
:: Music: Tiamat - Teonanacatl

I'm getting signed postcards from Darren Shan as part of the runner-up prize in a competition! I must refrain from acting like a complete fangirl!

Anyway, no updates for at least a week, because I'm off to Cornwall tomorrow, until the 20th.

:: 2005 8 August :: 10.53pm

You are a fallen angel of neglect. You have fallen
because of you being suppressed and miserable,
though this may not be your fault. You have
been discarded. Shunned for whatever reason and
this has made you deeply unhappy. You feel as
though you are a dispointment to others. This
causes you to have extremely low self value and
confidence.

Quote: "The
worst loneliness is when you're not comfortable
with yourself"

Element:Water
Emotion:Hurting/Disconsoled

What type of Fallen Angel are you? [beautiful + dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 2005 8 August :: 10.34pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: bonjovi

straight jcket is coming to get me. (joke).
Yeah but you don't phone me *whimper**shakes fist at vicky in jealousy* C x.

read back and found this comment on my journal. i then spent about 5 mins laughing aloud to myself in a small room. have no idea why. i fear that i may be going stir crazy.

:: 2005 8 August :: 9.32pm
:: Mood: irritable and lonely.
:: Music: slunt

pop tarts.
hey. first of all... i am not a pop tart angel... i never was, probably never will be. crumbs!!! yuk. anyway, i did have something to say but can't remember so bye off to write in private and maybe do a quiz.

:: 2005 4 August :: 12.20pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: a.f.i

norrrwich
hey people... back again. ummm... not really any deep emotional feelings today so i'll just talk about yesterdays excursion to dear old Norwich. well. we went to norwich. we being me, rach, her sister sam and her friend emily. had a really cool day, went to see fantastic 4 which was really good and bought some jeans which were to BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was proberbly the best thing about the day despite the fact that i nearly had a spaz attack getting the jeans in the first place. bought kill bill one and two and shot you down on single. and slunt album which i was real chuffed to get. major wierd factor was that i saw lyds in hmv... it r4eally is v. peculiar lydia and rach being in the same place- i mean theres life with rach and theres life with lydia. then they mix. weird. anyway. this has been a v.v boring entry. sorry.

:: 2005 30 July :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: Ill and groggy.
:: Music: none

everything and nothing.
Hello. wooa this feels really weird. i've not written in ages so i've lost all of the old familiaity with the keyboard and also with my brain. my mind is always just this storm of thoughts and i have to try v.hard to get them into order to write down so i apologise if this entry makes no sence. (was reading back and hardly any of my others do either so you should have no problem)Well was at my grandma's memorial today. Was really very emotional and everyone cried- then we all went and had a party which i missed most of coz i was sleeping. yes. sleeping. found out yesterday that i may have an absess in my jaw, this is not only painful but have now found out that it maybe infected. Which in turn is making me feel like SHITE!!!!!! seriously every bone in my body aches as if a rather spry, large sumo wrestler has come along and battered me to the ground with a fire poker. like i said i feel bad. and this in turn is weakening everything else. i have come to the conclusion that i am a natrally weak person (despite my hidious giantess size) so this is not good. it has weakened my resolve to be happy happy and it has weakened the guard that i have put up to stop the pain or reality. so as my happy happy resolve was weakened i have of course been crying (i know i know, i always seem to be crying but beleive it or not i havent in a while) so i was lying in my bed aching all over and thinking. thinking how i always seem to put the worst pieces of reality into the back of my mind such as- shit gotta go this is my sisters computer and shes just come back! will try and come back again soon. (if anyone wants me to)

:: 2005 30 July :: 7.47pm
:: Music: Silver Ash - Sleep

Well... I haven't updated in a while. Not that I've got much to say at the moment, so I'll make it short.

Anyway, my sister's broken up from school for the summer, so she's doing most of the work at my dad's office now. I'm going to have to look for a Saturday job, think, because I still want a source of income, even if it's not much.

I love this song... it's really odd, but it's beautiful.

:: 2005 21 July :: 4.53pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: Utada Hikaru - Tokyo NIGHTS

Fucking terrorists. It looks now as though I won't be going to the Artists and Illustrators' Expo tomorrow, after there were a bunch of incidents involving detonators on the tube today. It's good that there weren't injuries this time (as far as I know) but the tubes will probably be closed off tomorrow, so we won't be able to get to Islington very easily. My mum's all worried about going, and there's no way Emily will be allowed. I'm just hoping I'll be able to go, at least. I hate this. Why should we be made to change our plans just because they've got some sort of grudge against our country? What gives them the right to mess about with our lives? It's not as though the British people have had a choice about which wars we've been involved in, if that's the excuse the terrorists are using to try and blow up our capital. This is just so infuriating, and I feel so helpless because we can't do anything about it.

1 Hey Miss Murder | Can I?

:: 2005 18 July :: 10.02pm
:: Music: Blind Guardian ~ Precious Jerusalem

I've been inexplicably agitated of late. I suspect it may be to do with the fact that the Artists and Illustrators' Expo is on Friday, and that I still have one free day, and two days of work before I go -_- Of course, it might be for no reason whatsoever. I should go and use my time constructively by working on RSOM or Bloodline (I still haven't done anything with that damn first chapter. I must post it somewhere, and finish chapter two.)

Actually, I want to go work on my digital painting of Abel Nightroad (Trinity Blood anime) but it's probably a bit late for that now. If I start on that again, I'll want to be on the computer for hours.

:: 2005 18 July :: 11.13am
:: Mood: blah

It must be licensing season or something. Funimation have picked up the Trinity Blood anime (that was fast, it's only been around for a month or two) and hopefully they'll do as good a job with it as they did with Full Metal Alchemist (which is pretty good as far as dubs go.) Viz Media have got D.Gray-Man, so I'm really hoping they'll at least try and give this a decent translation (especially attack names - they mutilated the ones in Naruto.)

Some not so good news is that Viz Media won't be releasing the uncut Naruto episodes in America until July 2006. Hell knows when we'll get it over here in the UK. They better release the uncut episodes, otherwise I'll end up importing the region 1 DVDs.

:: 2005 17 July :: 7.55pm
:: Music: Guns And Roses ~ Paradise City

Pointless...
Apologies for the lack of updates... I've been sorting out other stuff lately, and this journal sort of went out of my head. Anyway, to be honest, not much that's worthy of being recorded here has actually happened, so I guess this is a pointless update.

I've got the first page of my RSOM entry almost sketched out, and partially inked (Just the panel borders, and this aerial cityscape thing that is partially finished.) I'm doing quite well on planning out the script for it, too.

On a side note, I want to change this layout, so I need to go dig out some good screenshots of Envy from FMA.