Stroken's Pad yo

Stroken's Pad yo

:: 2007 10 January :: 3.49pm

Second real day of classes. Literary analysis isn't so scary after all. I realized that I just have one of those profs that talks about whatever he wants, and there really isn't any logical succession of his thoughts. For a while I thought I was going crazy, but, in light of another class, it's just him.

My political science class is great. It's a huge lecture class, but the prof is great. For over an hour we had a debate about the what rights the Constitution gives to which branch of government pertaining to the Bush Administration's (and for that matter, many other administration's) invasion of foreign countries without an order or Declaration of War from Congress.

In a class of over one hundred and fifty, it gets quite roudy when you start talking about Iraq and namely Bush.

One girl asked, "Why are you guys being so mean to Bush? All I hear is people bashing him, why can't you say anything good about him?"

Then she admitted that didn't even know that there were never really weapons of mass destruction, and that she didn't know Sadaam had nothing to do with nine eleven.

It was all quite fun. I could have swam in the ignorance that was in that room.

Thankfully, there were a few who spoke out and had valid points. It was an hour well spent.

Presidential Address tonight, don't miss it.

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2007 9 January :: 6.40pm

I finally got my internet working, or shall I say, RUEBEN got my internet working.

Second semester of college is going...well so far. This semester is going to be a little bit harder than last, but I think I can deal with that.

And, the new roommates are better by far. No that the others weren't fun...they just had too much "fun" for me.

Updates are sure to come often. Beware.

1 orgiastical | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2007 2 January :: 8.41pm
:: Mood: cheerful

I'm chemically relaxing my hair right now to make it just a little bit more straight. It burns a little. I'm use to it though, I've been doing it for four years.

Anyway, I worked my usual eight hours today. People really are getting more unintelligent and annoying everyday. I'm too fed up with them to give any examples anymore.

Perhaps some mau playing tonight, but not positive. All I know is that my hair is going to have a certain odor, and I'm ready for some fun.

It's going to be some night.

5 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 31 December :: 3.08pm
:: Mood: blah

Just hours after my last entry, I was no longer enjoying my fresh cut pineapple. It seems it decided to make war on my anatomy. It was quite difficult for me because I have an intense fear of throwing up. It was like Michelle fear-factor all day yesterday.

I feel a lot better today, but solid foods are still a don't. I didn't go to work yesterday, but I'm well enough for my five hour shift tonight.

I'm ready for a new year.

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 30 December :: 12.30am
:: Mood: calm

Random
I worked until eleven thirty tonight, and then I came home and enjoyed my fresh-cut pineapple while I perused the Post. It was most enjoyable.

I spent last night with Jessie, Rueben, and Zack. We sat around for a while, and then decided we had to go do something. So, we went to Arby's and played mau.

I got called into work yesterday. I only stayed for three hours so that I won't get overtime this week. It's a good thing I don't have a life. Work has been my life for the past two weeks. I leave again on the seventh.

"So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray, to be only your's I pray, to be only yours I know now, you're my only hope."

I'm busy collecting quotations on the internet to make some notebooks. I'm excited, but I forgot to buy packing tape to finish them.

"You're the only one who, drives me kicking and screaming through fast dreams, and you're the only one who knows exactly what i mean...i hope you can forgive me for that time when i put my hand between your legs and said it was small, cause it's really not at all."

I've decided that my favorite punctuation is a bracket [not quite a parenthesis, but still subtle and giving a little extra].

"New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, chinese food makes me sick and I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer...you come from Georgia where the peaches grow, drink lemonade and speak real slow."

"Here in this diary I write you visions of my summer, it was the best I ever had, there were choruses and sing a longs, all the nights we stayed up talking...and quoting lines from all those movies that we loved, it still brings a smile to my face. I guess when it come down to it, being grown up isn't as fun as growing up."

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 27 December :: 3.53pm

The exciting news is that I smell really good.
The not so exciting news is that I have to work in an hour.

Christmas, was it real, or but a dream?

New Years: What's going on, where's the party at? Who with?

All of these questions!! I need answers!!

Michelle

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 25 December :: 7.34pm
:: Mood: cynical

Merry Christmas, everyone. A day filled with socially retarded cousins, fattening food, and ackward gift-giving.

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 24 December :: 1.07am
:: Mood: aggravated

The worst day of my entire freaking life.
Today. Work. Horrible. Cry. I worked from three to midnight. It was suppose to be eleven thirty, but people are douche bags and shop at meijer and leave shit in places it doesn't belong and then I have to sort it from millions of shopping carts before I can go home the whole while telling everyone that approaches the service desk, "I'm sorry, we're closed for the night."

"You close? I thought you were open twenty four hours."

"The store, not the desk. We close at eleven."

They glance at the clock which reads [insert time between 11:01 and midnight].

"Well, could you still do this [return, price adjustment, exchange, sale of lottery or tobacco, or listen to me bitch about something you can do nothing about].

"No, I'm sorry, we're closed."

And I turn around, continue sorting out candles that stink of peppermint, cheaply made Christmas ornaments, and ugly little sweaters made for dogs, and ignore them.

Michelle

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 19 December :: 6.58pm

Official grades are in. 3.93.

It's pretty okay.

There's work tomorrow, and a dentist appointment. I'm getting metal in my head, again. Oh joyous.

Jessie is coming over later and we will commence gift giving. I am quite excited. No doubt.

3 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 19 December :: 9.49am
:: Mood: content

So many things to do today. Give blood (which I am finally able to do since I was blacklisted), go to coffee with Jenny, and get a present for mother's birthday. I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but it is.

I work tomorrow. And the next day, and the day after that. I work until I leave on the seventh.

I wrapped presents yesterday and realized that I still have more shopping to do. I wish I was still five and a macaroni card would do the trick. I like making things better, anyhow. I like being constructive.

The first thing I did this morning was wake up and play my flute. It was good.

Michelle

4 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 17 December :: 7.05pm
:: Mood: complacent

It's amazing that I don't update as much here as I do when I am at school. I blame that on two things : Having a life and friends here, and having a dial up connection that takes me five minutes to get to the woohu main page.

Christmas tree is up. Charlie Brown Christmas is on the telly. I've been bombarded by nonmusical Christmas songs for the past month. I baked cookies Friday. I went Christmas shopping yesterday. I wore my grandma snowman sweater the other day. And it still doesn't feel like Christmas. I guess it's just not one of those things you can't force.

I'm free until Wednesday. Get ahold of me and we'll romp.

Michelle

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 14 December :: 12.41pm

One more exam to go. Get car. Check out with RA. Drive home.

Jenny - Are you going to be at the middle school concert tonight? I am...you should come. If not, we need to get together this weekend!

Rueben - I probably won't answer my phone until I start driving home around three thirty.

Matt - I tried to call you last night, but it was busy.

Jessie - Feathers.

6 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 12 December :: 6.40pm
:: Mood: accomplished

I cleaned my room today. I took out two bags of trash from my side of the room alone. It was pretty crazy. Well, now I'm all packed up and ready to come home for some holiday fun! Call me, email me, send me poetry, I don't care, but get a hold of me if you want to hang out! I'll be back on Thursday, and then I leave again on January 7th (except this time, Rueben's coming with me!). It's all quite exciting.

I figured out that, if my English exam went well, I'll end up with all A's for the semester. Pretty good, I figured.

Ah, well, I miss you all, and hope to see you soon!

Michelle

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 12 December :: 12.28pm

Hannah Cotten got in an accident last night...

click here for more

4 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 11 December :: 7.18pm
:: Mood: cranky

Exam. Today. At eight a.m. I'm so tired.

It really wasn't an exam. It was extra credit for showing up and completing a survey about the class. We also got to listen to Woody Guthrie sing "This Land is Your Land."

Oh, and my professor read us "The Night Before Christmas."

I'm so glad the government is paying for part of my college.

My English exam was harsh. We'll see how I did. It unfortunately reminded me of AP lit with Mrs. Dolbee. I couldn't stop thinking "ample support."

Now I'm tired and I'm pretty sure I forgot to lock the dorm door. Oh well. I don't really have anything anyone can steal now, anyway.

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 10 December :: 5.47pm
:: Mood: contemplative

I'm procrastinating again. I've read over all of my English material, and now I need to go back and intensively anaylize and take notes with possible essay questions in mind.

I don't really want to. But I don't have anything else better to do.

Blah.

I'm sorry I take up your friends page, but I'm pretty sure that if I don't update on woohu every day, I'll go into withdrawl. Sometimes I don't have anything important to say, but I still update. I've updated more now, than ever, and I attribute that to 1. I have access to high speed internet day and night here and 2. I don't have much else better to do.

Loser.

The former Chilian dictator Pinochet died today. Ninety-one. After he overthrew the democracy of Chile, he did great things for his country. He kept them out of communism and the like, however, he had a blatant disregard for humanity. He maimed, tortured and killed thousands in the name of national security.

Why didn't the U.S. go after him? I'm not saying that it was wrong to prosecute (and mind you, NOT persecute) Sadam, but for all of you head strong, Pro-Bush Republicans, doesn't it make you think why the U.S. chose him to prosecute, and ONLY him?

Just wondering if anyone out there was still thinking.

Michelle

6 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 9 December :: 6.16pm

Another Post
SO BORED.

SOS.

SO BORED.

I think I might has witness the phenomenon know as 'the sun' today. However, it was only for a brief period of time.

Six more days, bitches. Six more days. Six more boring, heart renchingly stupid exam days before I come home.

SO BORED.

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 9 December :: 3.30pm
:: Music: Shankill Butchers - TD

A wicked wind will blow your ribbons from your curls
96 Works.
Including:
Three novels, One play, Many 'short' stories, Many poems, a Joyce.

My British Literature class is over and I was making a list of the works and the page numbers for the class so I could refer to them during the final on Monday. I'm a little intimidated, it's worth 25% of my grade.

Ah, well, I'm going to reread them all today and tomorrow, because, well, I haven't got much else to do. It's really quite boring up here on the weekends if you're not out getting trashed, or high, or raped, or going to church, or hit by cars, or getting put in jail, or vandalising homes, or, well, you get the point. The highlight of my evening last night was watching the guys across the hall get busted by the RA's, and then watching them down the rest of their alcohol in case the RA's came back.

No, Thank you, John

" I never said I loved you, John:
Why will you teaze me day by day,
And wax a weariness to think upon
With always "do" and "pray"?

You know I never loved you, John;
No fault of mine made me your toast:
Why will you haunt me with a face as wan
As shows an hour-old ghost?

I dare say Meg or Moll would take
Pity upon you, if you'd ask:
And pray don't remain single for my sake
Who can't perform that task.

I have no heart? - Perhaps I have not;
But then you're mad to take offence
That I don't give you what I have not got;
Use you own common sense.

Let bygones be bygones:
Don't call me false, who owed not to be true:
I'd rather answer "No" to fifty Johns
Than answer "Yes" to you.

Let's mar our pleasant days no more
Song-birds of passage, days of youth:
Catch at today, forget the days before
I'll wink at your untruth.

Let us strike hands as hearty friends;
No more, no less; and friendship's good:
Only don't keep in view ulterior ends,
And points not understood

In open treaty. Rise above
Quibbles and shuffling off and on:
Here's friendship for you if you like; but love, -
No, thank you, John."

-Christina Rossetti, 1862

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 8 December :: 3.00pm

I hate TAIT. It's so stupid, and time consuming, and I hate it, hate it, hate it.

But, this is all that stands between me getting all A's for the semester.

I still hate it.

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 5 December :: 5.04pm

Jess (or anyone else), what was that play that we watched at Rob's house with you, me, him and Zack? Remember, the guy in the flesh colored speedo dancing around? We read it in AP lit, too. I think we should watch it again.

What play is that? I was just reminded of that for some reason.

3 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 4 December :: 5.54pm

It's cold as hell outside. Just got back from tromping in the snow and building hopping to avoid it. Last biology lab! It was pretty exciting. We had a group quiz, and no one but me knew how to do it.

Next week is exam week, and then I return on the fifteenth!

My mother sent me flowers today in honor of my birthday. It was pretty neat.

Michelle

3 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 3 December :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: high

Happy Birthday to me in less than two hours. Nineteen. Nothing too special, just another year fulfilled. I think I'm getting to that age where birthdays become less and less special, and that's sad.

Sorry, kids, no rantings or substantial writing tonight. I haven't got the brain power for it now. It's hard enough typing as it is.

Drive Safe.

4 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 1 December :: 11.23am

Class is cancelled. Lots of snow. Oh, goodness is there a lot of snow.

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 30 November :: 10.41pm

Jackie's hair is pretty and my curling iron is too large for her.

That is unfortunate.

I pushed the button good.

I'm very proud of myself.

Where are my fucking smokes? Seriously.

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 30 November :: 6.20pm

I am SO fucking pissed.

Okay, nice little speech class, teacher doesn't teach us anything, gives us a study guide, I study the study guide, I take the exam.

I did better than the class average of 31/100.
I got a 41/100.

Now, the best grade I can get in that class is an 86%. Great.

And I hate that girl in U-Band, too.

Fucking bitch. The director moved her because I asked her to.
And she says, "Why did Sarah move me? Is it because you don't want to sit by me?"

My reply was, " I'm not going to lie, I don't like sitting by you."

"Well," as she glared at me like I was the most horrible person on earth, "I didn't want to sit by you either. You know, most of the things I said to you WERE true."

Yeah, I guess getting your head out of you're ass is pretty hard when it's as big as yours, bitch.

Whatever.

Now I remember why it was a good thing I didn't go into music. It's so I don't have to deal with bitches like that for the next five years.

[Edit] Test may not be as bad as initially thought. After talking to Jessie, I realized that, since the test was out of 50 multiple choice questions, I couldn't have gotten an odd score, it would have to be even. Therefore, I may actually have an 82. Have to discuss this with the teacher, but I believe I am right. Everything else I'm pissed about, though.

1 orgiastical | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 30 November :: 10.15am

On the verge of the big final speech. I guess I wasn't thinking when I choose my topic (pro-choice) because I realized this morning that most of the people in my class are quite conservative. And, i'm pretty sure I picked it because I found out that another girl is doing pro-life, and I couldn't really sit by and let her do that without putting my two cents worth in, and so here I am, all dressed up and ready to talk about abortion.

I know what some of you are thinking: Baby hater! Murderer! Fetus Killer!

Except, that's the exact reason WHY I'm doing this speech (that, and my teacher allows it). Being Pro-Choice, is NOT being Anti-Life or Pro-Abortion, it just means that I recognize the societal need for abortion in some instances. It doesn't mean that I think every woman should have an abortion.

Well, I think I got that out of my system. I guess I just needed to rant and defend myself a little before I went out there and whatnot.

And the ironic part, is that I'm not even graded on the topic, or the content, but on my delivery and organization.

In other news, the dorm was very loud last night, as I believe there were lesbian fights and perhaps a little wrestling going on. At least, that's what it sounded like at three o'clock this morning.

Michelle

1 orgiastical | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 29 November :: 9.42am

I was late for my computer class today. I woke up about six minutes after it started [why is this starting to be the trend for me? I don't like waking up and shouting 'fuck!' and running out the door].

So i get into class [a huge lecture hall] and I start my way down the aisle and choose the fourth row back [i normall sit in the first row]. The prof notices me, and stops lecturing and says, "you can come and sit down in the front."

I explain, "I had a rough morning."

"It's understandable, my oatmeal was hot this morning. It was rough."

And he continues his lecture.

After class the girl who sits next to me tells me that the professor waited [in a class of 120] five minutes to start class becuase I wasn't there.

I don't think he even knows my name.

College is strange.

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 28 November :: 12.49pm

Jenny:

I miss you! We NEED to get together over Christmas break!

5 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 27 November :: 9.59pm

So I slipped and fell this morning while dressing in the dark. Bruise on shoulder, a constant reminder. Sweatshirt smells like it's been locked up all its life. Exam tomorrow. What do I know of Snarl words and Allness? Index cards transformed into flash cards with a few marks that make up words of a transient language. Silence, Social Clocks, Haptics. These words mean something to someone, but not me, not yet. In a few hours sleep will knowingly approach, and the day at an end, and what have a I got? Weary eyes, tuition bills, and words. Words that I will forget after the impending exam, because these words mean something to someone, but not to me, not yet, and not for very long.

Michelle

don't question bruce dickenson

m&ms487

:: 2006 26 November :: 8.26pm

Driving home brought so many thoughts into my head. I have an immense fear of those around me dying. That's probably my biggest fear. Some nights I lie in bed and think about things as if someone was dead. What would I do? What would I feel? It always makes me start crying in the end, and I feel like I've committed some sin, as if thinking about that persons death is equated with me wanting them dead. How would I feel if I thought about them dying tonight, and then they did die tomorrow. Then all I'm left with is guilt, and all I have done is lie in bed before sleep overcomes me.

I've been lucky. No one close to me has died. I know it will happen soon enough. I don't wish for it, but the truth is, no matter how much I or anyone else wants to deny it, is that we all secede to death. It's our final end, an end we have little control over. I thought I had control over it once. It had control over me.

My grandparents are old and frail. They act with dignity, but they are slowly realizing death will come soon. They are planning the rest of their life for their death.

Do I plan my life for death? Do any of us? Do we wake up in the morning, watching the sunrise, or falling out of bed, or dreading another monotonous normal day and think of death? Should we? Would that circumvent the reason, whatever that reason may be, why we are living?

If we thought of death everyday, could we enjoy life? Are we meant to enjoy life?

Are we suppose to be "grieveing the sun" on it's final journy to the horizon? Or are we suppose to ignore the inevitable, find some shallow work to busy ourselves with, and only recognize the end when it comes knocking at the door to your [trailer, suburban two story, houseboat, yacht, mansion, cardboard box] home?

I am reminded of death when I look at my grandparents, the leafless trees, the brown grass, and deer splattered along the roadway.

Perhaps we are never meant to come to terms with death, only await it's inevitability. Freedom from our imperfect bodies may be our biggest birthday present. I once thought it was.

Michelle

5 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson