goodbye
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2014 6 April :: 2.50pm
FML.
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spud
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2014 4 April :: 4.06am
the more things change, the more they stay the same
*greetings from michigan:
my first lengthy stay away from home has come to a close. i haven't touched any alcohol in two weeks. i still don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life. and i already miss tahoe.*
i'm beginning to remember why i really didn't miss having the internet that much.
i don't need to know about your stupid kid, or what you're having for dinner, or the 10 reasons you belong in house baratheon.
i really don't.
the only time i missed it is when there was some silly piece of trivial knowledge that i couldn't remember, or i had to file an important form, or needed to pay a bill.
that's basically it. maybe watch videos, or steal music from somewhere, since i'm online. download shit to make my laptop work when i invariably fuck it up and delete something i wasn't supposed to.
not spend hours poring through meaningless babble about shit that doesn't really matter, in the lives of people who i haven't seen in years, who are only trying to make themselves look as accomplished and successful and happy as they possibly can. apparently it's working, because what started as mild curiosity - purely for the hell of it - proceeded into nostalgia, and eventually progressed to the inevitable "what have i done with my life?!" there are also a few unfortunates thrown in that (i would assume, in the light of those apparent successes) have resorted to more of a cry for help or attention, because they are at least honest about how much life can suck sometimes, combined with buying into everyone else's bullshit.
the sad part is, it is so enticing still. sure, i don't NEED any of this stuff, but why not enjoy some diversions, right? i'll read the entirety of that blog, just because i can. i guess it was marginally entertaining. enriching my life? no. i suppose, if nothing else, it kept me occupied for three hours. and that's something. maybe. i don't know. depends on what your time is worth. and what you choose to spend it on.
time to be more discerning about what it's spent on, rather than finding ways to burn it.
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goodbye
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2014 2 April :: 2.22am
It feels better in the dark, it feels better in the dark
I feel closer to your heart, nothing can come between us
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goodbye
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2014 31 March :: 8.41pm
Great talk with the boy tonight. So happy there <33
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goodbye
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2014 29 March :: 8.54pm
And when the sun shines it will shine the clearer.
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goodbye
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2014 27 March :: 8.27pm
Our bodies fit perfectly intertwined.
Our days spent together are like little special secrets, cupped in my palms, safe and warm and beautiful. When I see you, it feels like looking at the open night skies riddled with stars, lit by the moon reflecting off the treetops, crisp air biting your skin.
There's little I can do to control the heart floating in my chest.
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2ofus
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2014 17 March :: 11.53pm
I rearranged my room again and can't find my journal or else I'd be writing in it instead.
Today was a great day. Started out ok turned crappy then got amazing. After work met anna downtown did usually browse stuff until we got to aunties. The most beautiful woman I've seen in a long time works there. The thing is, I didn't even think about doing anything but grabbing her chin with my finger, lifting her face up a bit and kissing her. The romantic kind. I haven't had a romantic thought in my head for so long. It was so nice. We flirted a bit, I got my book and left. I'm shy around pretty girls but come wensday I'm going down there getting another book, cuz books, and exchangeing phone numbers. It actually made butterflies in my stomach I think. Oh and dinner and cocktail was pretty good. I'm getting better at grilling steaks and anna and kate make a damn good cocktail. I am a bit tipsy off it but bed now, work, then speakers then book, then pretty red heads number.... *released dreamy sigh*
Night journal I'll copy this into when I find you.
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goodbye
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2014 14 March :: 5.34pm
Qualms.
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goodbye
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2014 13 March :: 3.41pm
Never ever trust anyone.
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spinder
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2014 6 March :: 6.39pm
Cancer update: Still sucks. Dont get it.
Mortality is an odd concept. When faced with someone you love keeling over it looms large in your mind. It changes alot of how you feel about your own life.
When the protagonist of that story rolls off her death bed and decides to keep living its really a bit jarring. I'm not complaining, its wonderful, but to a certain extent I was very ready to deal with Gloria's death. A lot of mental turmoil goes into preparing for that. For the time being, though, I can continue pretending everyone will continue living forever.
I just realized something while I was typing this. Now I know which of my parents I get my procrastination streak from.
Ahhaha... Dont judge; She'd laugh.
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m&ms487
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2014 17 February :: 9.27am
:: Mood: pensive
I'm twenty-six and probably buying a house in a few months.
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goodbye
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2014 16 February :: 11.10pm
dissimulation
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goodbye
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2014 5 February :: 8.44pm
I've never been this speechless. I've never had to hold in so much.
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goodbye
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2014 30 January :: 5.04pm
Oh fuck.
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