Emology

Emology

:: 2005 26 June :: 9.50 pm

Yes, stolen
01] Who are you, what's our relationship:
02] How and where did we meet:
03] What's my middle name:
04] How long have you known me:
05] Tell me one good thing about myself:
06] When you first saw me what was your impression:
07] My age:
08] My birthday:
09] My favorite band at the moment:
10] Colour eyes:
11] Do i have any siblings:
12] Have you ever had a crush on me:
13] What's one of my favorite things to do:
14] Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
15] Describe me in 3 words:
16] Name 5 things I love:
17] Do you think I'm good looking:
18] How would you describe me to someone:
19] Would you ever date me:
20] Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
21] What do you like most about me:
22] If we could spend a day together what would we do:
23] Have we ever gotten in a fight:
24] Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years:
25] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
26] What do you think my weakness is?
27] Do you think I'll get married?
28] What makes me happy?
29] What makes me sad?
30] What reminds you of me?
31] If you could give me anything what would it be?
32] When's the last time you saw me?
33] Do you think our ...friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
34] Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
35] Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
36] If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
37] What song (if any) reminds you of me?
38] If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
39] Do we 'hang'?
40] Do I cross your mind at least once a day?

2 Whats | up

:: 2005 26 June :: 6.28 pm

I had tons of fun hanging out with Dale, Brittney, Amelia, and Zuzu today. Its been a while and it was a good time to catch up. I only wish I could have gone with them to the movie. Now Amelia has to go see it again with me and pay once again which I feel kinda bad for. I wish my mom wasn't so gung ho about "being with the family" and pretty much having me labor for her for free. Arrgggh. Instead of going to the movie, I had to go home at 3:30 to go with my brother and dad to the gym for "hanging out with my brother time". *sigh* I beat both of them in basketball though. Hopefully I can have the whole day to hang out with my girl tomorrow without any problems. That would make me happy. I also found out that some people have the wrong impression on me and sort of keep it secret. I wish those certain individuals weren't so shallow. You know who you are.

"I feel like my ulsers are coming back in my stomach"

:: 2005 24 June :: 4.52 pm

She and I have been talking a lot lately. I know that it is very hard for her to look at or even attemtp change. The word change comes with a bad connotation because change can be for the bad or away from the norm. But here, the change is supposed to be for the better. I believe that she deserves a better way of living. She should be able to think about herself in a positive manner and that be that. She should also be able to hear what other people say about her and just accept it for a statement and nothing more. She has promised me to work on these flaws. I know now how hard of a promise that is to make and follow through with, but she has always succeeded in keeping her promises.

I have also made promises in return to better myself for her as well. I have decided to work on getting along with Amelia's friends more and being happy around her no matter what the circumstance. Now I know how many think of change for somebody else is wrong and very bad and that makes me angry. I have the ability and power to change if I want and be comfortable with it. This apparently is a luxery that many do not have. I have the power to say something is just cause it is and have it be without any argument. Many do not see this as easy, like those who smoke can't just stop one day out of pure willpower, but I could. This is what exempts me from a lot of others because they have to work really hard to get anywhere or see any change. I wish it was just as easy for everyone else as it is for me. But that is why I am here. I am a guide who helps without wanting anything in return but acknowledgement.

I also went shopping with my mom and my brother today which was boring. We went to the mall where my mother bought him all that he wanted because he can just "work" of the money. I mentioned that I was hungry and my mom told me that she didn't have any money for me to spend on eating so I would then have to use my own. She then proceeded on continously asking my brother if he wanted anything to eat and she would buy it for him. That kind of unfairness doesn't make me too happy. So, I bought myself some pizza and sat in the food court by myself eating my food. I have noticed that one of the sadest and loneliest things you can do is eat all by yourself. I tend to do it a lot and it makes me feel like nobody likes you enough to even sit down with you while you are eating to be with you and talk. It sucks.

I also bought a Jet Li movie for only $20 dollars, when I thought it would cost $35. Ahhhh.... thats great.

"I miss you so far, and the collision of your kiss that makes it so hard"

5 Whats | up

:: 2005 21 June :: 7.20 pm

I got to hang out with my favorite today. I was great and I really enjoyed lying on the grass and just talking. We also watched Moulin Rouge together for the second time and I love that movie. I wish I could sing better... One of the transformers near their house about half a block started lighting trees on fire. It was exciting. "there hasn't been this much excitement since the Ice Storm!" She also got a swimming suit which I enjoy her doing. I love it when she is confident. Ahhh.... I am happy.

"I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words.... How wonderful life is, NOW YOU'RE IN THE WORLD!"

5 Whats | up

:: 2005 21 June :: 7.20 pm

:: 2005 20 June :: 9.46 pm

Today had its ups and downs. Downs included mowing the yard, dentist appointment, and being lonely and bored. The ups were chilling and watching some TV, I haven't done that in a while, and going to Amelias. It was great because I have missed her a lot. They have a bird which they are taking care of, and their dogs are totally jealous. I'm sorry for being so restricting. I know it is wrong, but my apology isn't really even worth saying. I need to do some action. I'll try to work my hardest on it because I know that makes you happy. That is what I should be doing is making you happy. I vowed to do it.

"Since you've been gone..."

:: 2005 19 June :: 6.26 pm

I'm fucking hating this summer so far. Everybody's schedule is messed up, I barely get to hang with my girl, I have to help out with everything around the house and not even get paid. I wish school was still here so I could hang out with all my friends. God, I hate this place called Earth.

"Cool dudes only"

1 What | up

:: 2005 19 June :: 4.41 pm

Amelia, I forgot that I have a dentist appointment in the morning. Then my mom wants me to help mow the yard. After that I will come over. Sorry

:: 2005 18 June :: 7.21 pm

Fuck Yeah! Longest ten minutes of my life...

8 Whats | up

:: 2005 17 June :: 6.28 pm
:: Mood: pissed off

Well, change of plans I guess. My parents aren't going to their cabin because of the weather. My mom has totally gone all out on cleaning the entire house, and it is all I do anymore. Today I was forced to wait at my house and not do anything until my mom got home so I could help her unpack groceries. Tomorrow I have to stay until everybody gets up, eats breakfast, then haul everything to the Goodwill or something. Like I really need to stay for that. I hate living by others time schedules. It's like I don't even matter, just as long as they can have my help with stuff like a worker. A worker who doesn't get paid. That's called a slave. My brother gets paid, but I don't. I feel all alone now. There is nobody to hang out with and nothing to do. It seems fate has decided to give me a glimpse of the future. I'm not very happy.

8 Whats | up

:: 2005 17 June :: 9.50 am

I miss you

I miss you when you're not around
I miss you when you're here
I miss you when you're way over there
I miss you when you're near

I miss you when I wake up in the mourning
I miss you when I eat
I miss you when I take a shower
I miss you when I sleep

I miss you when they bother us
I miss you when they call
I miss you when they holler down
I miss you when they stall

I miss you when we're not alone
I miss you when we're not together
I miss you when we're not close
I just miss you... forever

Love, Jeremiah

4 Whats | up

:: 2005 16 June :: 10.37 pm

Boy. I loved hanging out with you guys today. That was a lot of fun. I hope I seemed to open up a little bit. I'm usually cool, calm, and collected. I wish Amelia could have been there with us. Thanks for the food Allan. Brooke and I talked which was great. I learned about her past, and even though I didn't understand it all clearly, I'm glad there is someone with a similar past I can talk to. It was great bonding time. I went home afterward and messed on my computer with my neighbor. Then my hard drive got erased. That sucked hardcore and didn't make me happy. I mean, it was like getting reamed up the butt. After I had pizza and went over to Amelia's only to learn she has strep throat and I won't be able to see her for another 48 hours. That made me sad. I only got to touch her hand... Hanging with Zuzu was fun though. We watched movies and talked about her dumb friends ditching her. *sigh* I didn't get a good night kiss from Amelia...

"I tend to bottle up my emotions. I don't know if you could tell"

1 What | up

:: 2005 16 June :: 8.47 am

I miss Amelia so much already. But, I started working on a super secret surprise present for her...

:: 2005 15 June :: 7.59 pm

Does anyone know any great sites for downloading free music?

2 Whats | up

:: 2005 15 June :: 7.25 pm

I'm sorry. I'm glad you feel special when I show my emotions in front of you. I'm sorry I asked you to truly look at it, I guess I feel I can stand back and look at life and honestly say to my self," Wow, this is the love of my life". I know it is a fact and I would be wasting my time wondering about it. I know it is hard to "feel" and expresss your feelings, so I don't expect you to see how much I really feel about you right away. I also know it is hard for you to express your emotions, but I was always hoping you would make an exception for me with your most inner feelings. You know I love you, and I know you love me. Sorry to question that. Can't wait till tomorrow night! Have fun with that one kid... but not too much fun. I'm still your little boy too.

"Nobody gives a shit"

P.S. Brooke, when and where do you want me to meet you tomorrow?

4 Whats | up