:: 2005 24 May :: 8.10 pm

Sorry for making you better today Allan. I hope I can always do that for you. Let's lift a crapload tomorrow. Sorry for not hanging out with you much today Brooke, I'll give you the poem to you when I'm done. Sorry Amelia for being so moody today. You know I love you. I just missed you a lot today. Get well soon. See you all tomorrow.

"Soon you'll be kicking like Puchaa!"

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:: 2005 22 May :: 11.52 am

pictures
Oh yeah.

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:: 2005 21 May :: 9.54 pm

This is my real entry. Sorry about the other one. That was done by two goofballs. Not me. So anyway, Today seemed to go pretty well. Amelia continues to impress me with her workouts, I had pizza, I got a new suit, and went to the parade. Unfortunately I didn't get to see LC, but at least I went.

Love you Amelia, Brooke, Zuzu!

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:: 2005 21 May :: 6.01 pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: your moms moans

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:: 2005 20 May :: 9.31 pm

Everybody at school was sad and that didn't make me happy because people were sad who didn't even know him. That's dumb. Amelia apologized for letting her anger get to me yesterday. I don't really know if she realizes how much it hurts when she does things to me as compared to other people. Maybe I'm just being a baby...

I don't really like who I am anymore. I wanted to be the guy who was always there to talk to. Nobody comes to talk to me anymore though. When they do though, I just can't seem to help them and I feel like a failure.

We hung out after school and played with my new computer. We put pictures and music on it. It was great. Although, I don't know if she really enjoyed any of the computer "fun". I think she just wanted to hang with me. I know I just wanted to spend time alone with her just to talk. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

I only have two more weeks of school left! Then I only have three more months here until I move away. It is also only three more months till my ultimate doomsday. I don't think I'll be able to hold it together on that day...(sob)

Good night (or goodbye depending when you read this)

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:: 2005 18 May :: 8.17 pm

Today was a pretty crappy day to begin with. It started with me being really tired. I didn't feel like doing much and was sad because I had work ahead of me afterschool. This was bad because I wouldn't be able to hang out with Amelia. Afterschool though, I called work and found out I didn't have anything to do this week. Yay! So I hung out with Amelia and her sister. It was a lot of fun.

" I got a Beedrill"

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:: 2005 15 May :: 8.21 pm

Thank you for the wonderful day today my sweet love. I love you so damn much. Dinner was the best( All right, Oldtimer!)

Now you understand where I am coming from. Very emotional. I love you with ALL of my heart. I promise you, I will retern to protect you. Until then, let's have the best time together.

I love you all and I won't cry tonight.

"so long and goodnight. we'll meet again when both our hearts collide"

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:: 2005 15 May :: 6.13 am
:: Mood: tired

Today was my birthday party. It was a lot of fun.

Thank you Zuzu for the CD. I listened to it until I fell asleep
Thank you Brittney for the kickass movie.
Thank you Allan for the ... showing up.
Thank you Brooke for the boxers. They fit great.
Thank you JoAnn for the book. I read it last night.
And thank you Amelia for the shyrukin.

Yesterday was happy. When I went to bed, I started crying because a lot of good things have been happening to me lately. I releazed I don't deserve any of them. I'm glad people care about me now. I feel loved. As hard as it is to say though, I wish it never happened so that there wasn't that chance of me losing it(you) all when I move away. You all have changed my life dramastically and I wish I wasn't moving away in a few months. I cried about this for an hour before I fell asleep. This is how much I care for you guys. Especially for you Amelia.

"And I'm not o-fck'n-kay"

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:: 2005 4 May :: 7.44 pm
:: Mood: happy

Boy, things really went well today. I don't feel bad about solving problems any more. Maybe there was just a communication lag. I know everyone doesn't think as much or fast a I do.

Prom. YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!

6 month. YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!

18th birthday. YEAAAAAAAAAA!

I'm so happy and excited. I love you all. (one more than the rest)

"Test your might....Mortal Kombat!"

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:: 2005 2 May :: 7.42 pm

I'm sorry I have been so out of it lately. There has been a lot on my mind. It seems like people don't want me around anymore. I have become bad at solving problems, and instead seem to make them worse. I'm sorry to all of those that have to deal with me. Sometimes I feel like a fucking failure. I can't help anymore. All I want to do is help...

"Why are you so sad?"

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:: 2005 30 April :: 5.11 pm

Today was a very eventful day. Amelia managed to make a shirt with me as a little helper. She did it even though her mom didn't believe she could do it. I did.

I played FF7 and got the vampire character Vincent. He is pretty cool. I am kicking that game's ass.

"You're a stallion!
Roarrr!....err.....Neighhh!"

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:: 2005 29 April :: 4.04 pm
:: Mood: confused

I'm sorry I was tired today. I wasn't not telling you anything. I believe that something is bothering you and it has to do with your interpertation of me being tired today. I want to go to the play with you tonight. I don't see why you wouldn't want to go with me. It makes me feel like I must be destroying the things you enjoy so much that you don't even want me around them in order to keep them safe. If that is how you feel, just tell me. I care about what you think too.

We played frisbee in PE today. It wasn't very fun. Man, some days are just mediocre, huh?

"If you think its the neccessary course of action"

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:: 2005 28 April :: 7.22 am
:: Mood: okay

All right. It looks like all of you don't want to get involved in drugs. You can stay friends with me if you like. But the moment I find out about any drugs, I'm kicking your ass harder than Jet Li, Bruce Lee, or Jackie Chan ever could. And believe me, I can kick pretty hard.

Thank you for making my life a little easier. It makes me believe that you guys aren't half bad after all. JK

"NAMU!!!"

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:: 2005 27 April :: 7.06 am

If I find out any of you out there that I know and see almost everyday are involved with drugs, I want you to get the fuck out of my life. They have already fucked up my life enough and I'm so sick of it. They have destroyed 2 of the families I have lived with. I only have one family to look towards now, and it's not even mine.

"I find it hard to forgive stupid beings."

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:: 2005 26 April :: 7.39 pm

Boy, today was a pretty good day. I had fun acting like a little boy in the grass. It was great. I also tried to solve problems today. I believe I succeeded. I always feel better when things are going right.

I'm hungry...

"Te Amo Tambien"

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