Emology

Emology

:: 2016 10 March :: 7.41am
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: Vanessa Carlton - Rinse

How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
She needs to be held in his arms to be free
But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man

And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed
What could be the worse than leaving something behind
And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
It's loneliness she finds...
If only he was mine

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

godessalthena

:: 2016 9 March :: 7.39pm

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. please don't make me go. I just want to stay home and forget the world exists.

I dread work every single day. I dread it all weekend. time crawls by when I'm there. and the worst part is that it's a really nice job. the people are nice, the money is nice, the work isn't ridiculous.

I just fucking hate being there. it's lonely. and monotonous. and complex for complexity's sake. it's hard to always be the bad guy.

and I am so sick of commuting I might rip my eyes out. I need to stop taking the freeway and start exploring more.

godessalthena

:: 2016 8 March :: 9.49pm

and just like that I feel the flutters slipping away.

my heart is heavy. nostalgia ripping me apart.

yearning for simpler days.

I miss the summers, when love was still so sweet and new. I miss feeling like the world might have some hope.

but there is no hope.

godessalthena

:: 2016 6 March :: 8.50am

I'm tired of being warped..

godessalthena

:: 2016 3 March :: 5.06pm

must not sabotage
must not sabotage

stop looking for reasons to say no
start saying yes
unless it's really a no, never feel guilty for saying no

it just seems too good to be true
I'm waiting for an axe to fall

but maybe it never will..?

when can I stop being cautious? am I even capable?

godessalthena

:: 2016 2 March :: 6.45am

a promising first date makes me very excited.

now to decide if the second date should be today.. or some other day..

all I know is I said "not the first time we hang out" and he respected that!!

what is this gypsy magic

godessalthena

:: 2016 28 February :: 7.55am

this train woke up on the wrong side of the tracks

now we are careening downhill at 200 km/hr just waiting to hop the rail and sail into a wooded oblivion

1 What | up

godessalthena

:: 2016 27 February :: 3.29pm

sometimes I wish I could disappear.
swallow a pill and forget the past 20 years.
start over fresh with eyes that are new.
sick and tired of this twisted point of view.

godessalthena

:: 2016 25 February :: 9.42pm

just know that I love you.

godessalthena

:: 2016 23 February :: 5.17pm

"it blows to miss someone you hate"

I've been missing him for what feels like an eternity. I don't want to miss you anymore.

godessalthena

:: 2016 20 February :: 7.31am

this weekend much fun what excitement

all credit cards at zero balance? roger roger
ready to tackle student loans? shoot to kill
possibly fixed my trunk issue on my own? I would like to thank my training as a technical support associate -- could taking out the battery and putting it back in fix the problem?? let's find out!
losing weight and feeling good about my curves? can I get a hallelujah amen!
dropping cymbalta like its a bad habit? work in progress... reimagining user personality matrix.. calibrating emotional interface regulators... rebooting mother drive (continuously)...

my boss's boss is pregnant, she is due March 25. her baby is named Cole. we measured her belly and all guessed the due date, and then our business analyst sent out pictures of 6 babies and we had to guess which manager started as the babies. it was pretty adorkable. then people brought in their babies the day after. so many babies. and everyone is pregnant. it's making me feel more and more insecure about my lack of children.

1 What | up

godessalthena

:: 2016 16 February :: 6.08pm
:: Mood: hopeful

And everyday I wake, I tell myself a little harmless lie.....

The whole wide world is mine....

godessalthena

:: 2016 12 February :: 10.46pm

why is it I always want to write in you when I'm drunk In a bar

godessalthena

:: 2016 9 February :: 6.42am

the morning always comes way too soon..

godessalthena

:: 2016 8 February :: 6.46am

saying goodbye to an old, very dear friend today.

sleep well baci, go well with your sister. go chase that big gopher in the sky.

we will miss your little skips, the song of your people, your skanky beard and your shivering bits. your cute waggy tail. your huge bat ears..

your time with us has been highly treasured. and we will remember you with warmth and happiness.

good bye.. little baci bean