godessalthena
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2010 5 October :: 11.58am
My belly has been aching :(
and my dreams are full of blood, violence and tornadoes..
Kinda sucks haha
working out everyday is hard.. Hopefully it pays off eventually.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 4 October :: 10.47pm
What I want for chirstmas:
world peace
smoked salmon
a trip to Seattle
assistance in moving to Seattle
to be debt free
a puppy
a ragdoll kitten
money
a necklace
anything hello kitty
clothes/giftcards to clothing stores
an iPhone 4
anything giraffe related
a family
cuddles
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 3 October :: 2.05pm
Working out is kicking my butt :/
and I drank spittle too much last night :)
I can wait to reach my goal and get my tattoo :)
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 3 October :: 3.08am
I miss you I miss you I miss you so much..
I feel like half of me is missing.. I don't want to go to bed cuz I know you aren't here..
There is no subsitute. No one loves me like you do.
I am SO glad you were born today.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 2 October :: 4.48pm
Is it tomorrow yet?
We haven't spent more than 10 hours apart in 2 years.
This is fucking difficult :(
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 2 October :: 12.10am
The only problem with these pills:
I can feel anger.
And I am FUCK pissed right now.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 30 September :: 7.32pm
I love this optimisim I've found. I love feeling up despite people around me. I feel good and productive :)
I'm ready to get drunk and be silly :3
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 30 September :: 2.41am
Mmm home made sushi :)
go friends and feeling at home with loved ones..
This family I've crafted may ve slightly disfunction, but i finally feel like in home..
Surronded by people who love me..
I'm making headway in my weight, moving forward with my job, being successful in my relationship and patching things up with my blood family.
I'm finally getting the life I deserve. I'm so happy I'm here living it.
I'm so fucking lucky :)
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 28 September :: 1.13pm
Yesterday: 1100 cal consumed, 335 cal burned, net 756. Basal rate 1700. Good day :)
Today: so far 110 cal consumed, 400 cal burned. Looking to be a good day ;)
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 27 September :: 12.43am
I love cooking :)
especially when it's amazing!
Cuz I'm bad ass!
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 25 September :: 4.47am
I feel ugly sometimes. and I know I'm not good enough :(
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 24 September :: 8.58pm
This is fantastic! Boobs everywhere and pussy galore!!
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 21 September :: 7.10pm
I hate my life here. I hate all the memories all the disappointments the cruel intentions and the malice. The spite the filth the poverty the selfishness. I hate how none of these motherfuckers can see past the end of their noses.
I want to run away. To get away to save myself before I fall deeper into this bottemless hole. I hate being a failure.
I hate being myself.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 20 September :: 9.25pm
I'm so fucking sick of failing due to other people being gucking assholes.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 19 September :: 2.02pm
Really, I just want to be happy. And other people.. Well.. They don't understand that when you're a bitch it makes people unhappy. Then that makes the bitch unhappy because the people get pissed that she's a bitch. Then she's more of a bitch. It's a vicious cycle that could end if bitches would just stop being bitches, you know?
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 12 September :: 7.04pm
I don't know what I'm going to do..
But I'm so crazy about you!
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 3 September :: 8.38am
After all the steps I've made to improve my mental health I'm still just as depressed as I've ever been.
I was really hoping that telling my parents about Ori would fix everything, but it hasn't really changed a damn thing. I still feel alienated and less loved and I still have all my horrible memories and I still cry if I don't take my medicine.
I've come to the conclusion that even though I have a great life with a good job, a good lover, growing number of friends and all the other things I have going for me I am unhappy because I am stuck in this hellhole of a town.
So I am going to leave as soon as humanly possible.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2010 31 August :: 8.26am
Next week is going to be hard with the shift change!
I need more potassium in my diet.
I can't sleep anymore right now which sucks cuz I don't work til 11:45 haha
bleh.. Life is so.. It's all feeling like a stasis pod. Everyone around me is the same as they've always been. I think at this point people are actually pretty close to who they'll be for the most part..
I like who I am.
I thought them knowing would radically improve my life. And it has improved it some.. But I feel like I opened this huge curtian and it was shocking but now it's just like.. ok we can live like this.. And I still need my pills. :/ damn money pills.
Ahhh!! It's almost fall!! :D
and tha sun got brighter then
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