godessalthena
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2018 6 March :: 11.38am
0049. THE FCC STOLE MY WALLET AND KIDNAPPED MY SISTER
Unless my brain is foreign, I think most censorshipped radio's boring. And who claims that orange doesn't rhyme? I'm chilling right here with David Lawrence. It's Online Tonight, they wanna wind up fights for free speech, broadcast as far as they can reach. It's a swell day, let's see what they'll say when I'm dialed up live, Toronto to LA. But look what's come up with that Janet Jackson - FCC with $5,000 infractions. We got a plan of action.
FCC cracking down to burn Bubba the Love Sponge and also Howard Stern. Oh dear, man overboard at Clear Channel. What dorks and weird panel of analysts decides what to battle with? The whole thing's just a waste of time, and I hope I don't see anybody paying the fine. I'll fight this 'til I'm old and washed up, and I'm sure right beside me will be Lily Von Schtupp. What's up? Censorship? Not for long. Is someone gonna step to me and try to stop this song? It's cool to protect our children; I've got no qualms. So maybe the president should stop dropping bombs.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 2 March :: 5.43pm
My timing is so fucking wretched
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 24 February :: 11.08am
After some tears and a few fits I got my files taxes
I just fucking hate all this fucking bullshit they take my money and I have to request they give it back to me in an overly complicated transaction.
Bleh.
2 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 23 February :: 9.41am
White coffee is one of my favorite things
2 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 22 February :: 10.16pm
maybe I'm looking for something I can't have...
every song coming on YouTube feels so significant right now. I hate having these stupid fights over nothing. I hate feeling trapped but paralyzed by social anxiety. I have such a hard time making it into a friendship after the first part.
I need to do something with myself I'm losing my God damned mind but nothing sounds like it would be interesting... And cheap. Ugh.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 20 February :: 12.11pm
It's a lonely world, I know
Gonna get a lonely girl that's for sure
Knowing I hurt you
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 19 February :: 2.06pm
There's always going to be an excuse for you to not come over to my house.
Always.
So no matter how much or often I tell you it hurts my feelings, it's never ever going to change.
Sometimes I really wish I hadn't taken a chance. So I could just be alone and lonely. And I wouldn't have to feel bad about everything because I'm not over my trauma and I'll never be normal.
I'm not worth this.
3 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 15 February :: 6.52am
When all you can think about is how lonely you feel
When all you can think about is how lonely every family must feel after losing a child
Or how lonely the best friends of those children feel
Or how lonely the dead children feel
How lonely the world feels
3 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 13 February :: 9.42am
Found the journal entry my first boyfriend posted after we broke up... Daggers in my heart but I'm determined not to make the same mistakes I did so long ago. That was 12 years ago, but it still is deep in my heart.
I say often that I am atoning for past sins in my current days, the scars on my heart from all the people I've wronged or hurt still throb in my mind.
I know I can't make up for everything and I know holding onto these things are detrimental to me. How do you let go, how do you leave the past in the past?
I can feel all the pain in the world, and it mixes with my own. The paints blur together into a grey and dismal portrait and we all know once mixed they can't be separated. Will these paints ever dry and allow me to paint over with something beautiful?
What is even beautiful for a life?
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 6 February :: 1.09pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: bleachers - dont take the money
When you're looking for your shadow
Standing on the edge of yourself
Praying on the darkness
Just don't take the money
Dreaming of an easy
Waking up without weight now
And you're looking at the heartless
Just don't take the money
You steal the air out of my lungs, you make me feel it
I pray for everything we lost, buy back the secrets
Your hand forever's all I want
Don't take the money
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 5 February :: 4.02pm
I have a very difficult time relating to people who love life
What do you mean you don't want it to end? That's the only part i am looking forward to...
3 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 3 February :: 11.40am
I find the face of a woman very comforting
I miss many faces I used to know
But I'm very happy about the faces still in my life
And hopefully I can help them smile once in a while
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 28 January :: 10.51am
I just want to feel loved
How do you keep.gping when all you are at the end of the day is a number
2 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 26 January :: 11.59pm
I've been dying to reach you... But my extension cord doesn't reach that far.
There's just no fighting the sadness
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 26 January :: 11.21pm
I wish I was anything but white
3 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 26 January :: 9.47pm
Would we even really care cuz the world has ended?
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 26 January :: 7.18am
What do you do when someone doesn't think people give them a chance when it's really them not giving anyone else a chance?
Idk. Life is way more challenging than I ever dreamed it would be.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 22 January :: 6.49pm
Big birthday plans for a special work friend
I'm kinda hoping she's kinda underwhelmed with the stuff and then when she comes back she's hella surprised!!
But I didn't want ta make her too sad that we "forgot" her birthday so I'm bringing french macarons and we got her a beautiful card and some flowers... Then on Wednesday she'll have 12 rainbow balloons 2 unicorn balloons and a desk covered in streamers and confetti!
I don't usually go too far out, but we always kinda forget her birthday when she always goes all out for our birthdays... I love her so much, and her family doesn't appreciate her like they should! So I want her to feel appreciated at least once this year!!
2 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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