godessalthena
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2018 10 January :: 7.31pm
Watching the land before time, not even 10 minutes in and I'm all ready bawling
Brings back a flood of memories... What would my life be like if all that stuff never happened to me... Who would I be without little foot?
The sense of loss is definable now, back then I resonated so strongly with this movie.. growing up way too fast, but never losing the kindness inside.
Now I'm a hedgehog, prickly with you get too close. I'm hard to hold and even more difficult to grab onto
Impossible to keep close...
I just wish I could go back and do it over again without everything else. I don't think I would be very different. Maybe I'd just be better.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 10 January :: 6.47pm
feeling small and a million miles away
I just want to shrink until I cease to exist
The thickest dirt and the darkest mud
Deepest charcoal soot and dirt
Mix up the ashes until I disappear
No warrior no Amazon no savior
Just weak and pathetic
Minimalist imprints breathless walking
Leave me behind and forget
I am gone
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 10 January :: 7.53am
I've been sleeping a lot lately, but not the nice restful kind, rather the kind where you just spin all night then wake up 2 hours early and can't get back to sleep.
I'm sad today. I just want to hide under a rock and pretend I don't exist. Hopefully I get an early out today.
My last check was $200 short, which hurt a little, but it's nice not having to worry about rent or a car payment. What are student loans going to do? Rape me and steal my dog? Well maybe with this new president.... Should I worry? Haha
But 2 appointments with my therapist costs about $200 and having so much time away from work has really helped my mental health lately. More than seeing my therapist, so I'll take the loss and mark it as a win.
I just have to say, after spending close to $500 on gifts for my sweetie for Xmas if he doesn't get me a good damned bathrobe for a super late gift I'm going to he so mad.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2018 2 January :: 8.46am
I hate feeling like a conspiracy theorist but the older I get the harder it is to ignore that every problem in America was and is manufactured by the government/the wealthy to keep the masses controlled, weak and leached of any resources.
1 touched my hand |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 31 December :: 8.28am
there ain't nothing better than blowing smoke screens into sunbeams on a lazy weekend morning
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 30 December :: 7.34am
Discovering my dairy allergy has been the single most depressing thing that has happened to me in a while.
I miss cheese. And eating food like a normal human being. I miss not waking up to a nuclear holocaust in my GI tract for having some cheese & cream sauce.
I miss cream cheese on bagels
I miss cheese bagels
I miss food.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 18 December :: 10.53pm
:: Mood: pensive
Freedom is what you do with what is done to you.
1 touched my hand |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 18 December :: 10.59am
When I say the bridge is burned it stays fucking burned
When I say things are over they are over.
If you all want to waste your time worrying about what I'm doing, help yourself, but I don't give a fuck about you or what you think.
Leave me the fuck alone.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 3 December :: 12.58am
You insist I stay home when you go out to have fun
Makes me feel like I'm the secret
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 2 December :: 9.48am
when the puzzle is made of squares and you are a hideously deformed circle piece
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 30 November :: 12.06am
the warm embrace of a friend
3 touched my hand... |
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 28 November :: 12.50am
Please don't make it 3
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 23 November :: 10.52pm
I try to be sweet and loving and caring and helpful and yet I ALWAYS manage to ruin the night by being a psychotic bitch
Im not made to live on this planet. Im not made to love other humans. Im just worthless. A sack of shit. A piece of useless garbage.
Same as I always have been same as I always will be. You can't change the core of a person, only the nuances surrounding them. I give up.
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 22 November :: 12.14am
I just want a stupid smoke
But no lighter no matches no flint stone
No nothing
>:(
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 16 November :: 6.53am
My least favorite way to be woken up is by phone call
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 6 November :: 3.08pm
I hope it still hurts
The hole I made in your heart the day I left
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 1 November :: 2.07pm
So so tired of existing
and tha sun got brighter then
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godessalthena
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2017 31 October :: 10.35pm
Sometimes you make me wish I could disappear
It not that I don't listen to you because I do, I just have a hard time piecing things together about people
Maybe it's just me being selfish maybe I feel like you never listen to me either
Maybe nothing really matters and everything is just a big old fucking waste of time we all end up dead anyway
and tha sun got brighter then
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