:: 2005 12 May :: 4.26 pm

First of all, I don't like Peter! >< Gahhhh!
I feel so much better getting that out in the open! Believe it or not, I don't! I think he is cute, sure, yeah, but I don't like him. I am really picky! lol.

Um.

It takes a caring heart.
A brilliant mind.
A strong woman,
to run this hospital.

That is from Strong Medicine, I am bored. lol.

I am taking the SAT in Okeechobee! Yeah, that is so gay-ness! But Nicole is taking it at the same place with me :). Go me-ness.

Um, I am almost done with my fairy tale. Its... different, so yeah. Its nothing like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. lol.

So yeah, I am going blind. I have an ulcer on my eye that is slowly eating it away. Thank goodness I went to the doctor when I did so now he can save my vision. He gave me medicine that should treat my eye and I have another doctor appointment tomorrow to check up on it and make sure the treatment is working. It hurts so bad. Its unbelievable. I can actually feel it eating away at my eye [I know thats gross. Oh well.

My birthday is in one week from today. Yeah. I wonfer what I am going to do for it. I am going to be 17. I can buy my own movie tickets to "R" movies and finally stop sneaking in.

My Aunt Marla is finally pregnant! I screamed when I found out. She has cysts on her uterus and ovaries so we thought she would never be able to get pregnant but she did! She may have a miscarriage, but I sincerely hope she doesn't, she is going to be a great mom! For those of you who don't know, she is the one married to my uncle [Dad's side] that I lived with for a while when my dad was trying to move to Vero from Tampa. So they both deserve it. I hope its a girl!

Well, I have nothing else to say really.

I'd do anything,
just to fall asleep with you.

2 do. | Love.

:: 2005 10 May :: 11.59 am

Alrigth, you guys. I made a decision.

I am going to go to USF or UF for the pre-med program. No creative writing major, I have completely thrown that idea out of the window, but I am going to keep writing. I was thinking of FSU, mostly because I know Kate is pressured into going there and Nicole and Megan want me to go there, but it doesn't seem like the right thing to do. They don't have a pre-med program, and I could always major in biology and hope to get accepted into medical school, but it would be unlikely for me to get accepted. This, I think, is the right thing to do.

I went to a doctor today, and he was very nice and we talking about college. After listening to him talk about medical school, yeah, its going to be tough but what he said was "If you want it bad enough, you can do it, the people who don't make it never wanted it." And I do want it, more then anything.

So, if that means saying goodbye to some of my friends then thats what I have to do.

In Medical School, your summer break is only a month long, so while everyone else will be out of school, not only will I be in school, but I will only have one month to see them. But its a sacrifice I am going to have to take.

What I need is you guys to take care of me and believe in me, and don't let me make stupid choices. This is what I want, don't let me get scared and change my mind.

"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you out of the game."

2 do. | Love.

:: 2005 8 May :: 11.13 am

Never mind you guys.
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changing.

1 do. | Love.

:: 2005 7 May :: 5.07 pm

Just three miles from the rest stop
And my mouth's too dry to rage.
The light was shining from the radio
I could barely see his face.
He knew all the words that I never said,
He knew the crumpled up promise of this,
Broken down girl and as I opened up the door,
He said - while you were sleeping,
I was listening to the radio,
Wondering what you're dreaming when,
It came to mind that I didn't care.
So I thought hell if it's over,
I had better end it quick,
Or I could lose my nerve.
Are you listening?
Can you hear me?
Have you forgotten ?

Love.