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2004 10 October :: 10.31pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: beatles - maxwell's silver hammer
UNHAPPY ? DEPRESSED ?
The simple fact is, in order to be happy:
YOU MUST DECIDE TO BE HAPPY.
Yep. Isn't that aggravating? You can't blame it on anyone else, and no one else can do a thing for you. You've just got to decide to be happy, whether or not your logical mind thinks it is rational to be happy and whether or not your moral sense thinks you deserve to be happy. You absolutely will not be happy for any length of time until you decide to, and if you decide to, you can be happy in the face of the most miserable circumstances.
Happy deciding.
http://users.aristotle.net/~diogenes/meaning1.htm#questions1
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 9 October :: 6.48pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: over and over again by: nelly
when you said that you would leave, i was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
today was ok. i woke up early to go with my mommy to her work so i could concentrate on homework and get my hair done. oh and see lauri since i hadnt seen her in like forever. well i went online and looked at my journal and saw that andrew had left a comment on every single journal entry visible at one time. hmpf. at least sumone comments once in awhile lol but it was nice it made my morning good. lol. then lauri and her mom came in and she got her hair done and me and her took the car to marshalls to find her shoes for homecoming. then they left i stayed got my hair dyed and i read my book. came home, ate dinner and now i have to go read 150+ pages in my book before im allowed to do anything else, even sleep!! lol. im so fucking hard on myself. geez. =]
-later lovers-
<33-janelle
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2004 9 October :: 6.47pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: over and over again by: nelly
i remember the day you left, i remember the last breath you took right in front of me...
Andrew made my day. =]
<33
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2004 8 October :: 11.31pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Over and Over Again by: Nelly
i cant take it, i cant shake it no more...
wow. tonight was 100% gayness. we actually went to see a movie, The Forgotten, but only me, nicole, camila, and zach went to see it. the fucking manager came in the theater a bazillion times. grr. omg the movie was fucking scary. me and nicole were like shaking, crying, and hyperventalating. lol. then we met up with chris, jeremy, and gusto and then ran into scott, eric and sum ppl. then went to walgreens .camila and zach decide to go find scott. zach gets to them ahead of us and we hear them say omg they keep following us and shit blah blah. omfg i have never been more pissed in my life. we fucking left them. then i accidently blew up at chris and jeremy and got all emotional and shit. i swear, i shuld be an actress. anyways, we went into borders but on the was we ran into vito, buddy, and sarah. so we kinda ran to borders to avoid getting our asses kicked! lol. and guess who we run into there....seth. ehhhh. we peed and then ran into juliano. and then omg...i saw DANIEL MIRANDA!!!!! i havent seen that kid since the last day of school last year. awww i miss him and his stories. <33. he told me about his dressing up as a woman the other day at school and actually being an attractive woman. LMAO. then we jus hung out with zach jeremy an chris. and me and nicole went into the lil ice cream store thing to say hi to hayley. then zach left and the rest of us hung out. i really love jeremy and chris. they rock. no seriously. out of all the skater ppl, they, even if sumtimes they dont show it, in the end they are the only ones who care and are actually like our real friends. and i love them for that. lol ok anywyas...so yeah we sat on the stairs cuz jeremy was crippled and we were all gunna have a massive orgy but the concrete was uncomfortable and wet so we postponed it. then me nicole and camila left. tomorrow im going with my mom to her work so i can read and get my hair dyed. ill get to see lauri too!!! <33
-later fuckers-
<33-janelle
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 8 October :: 3.53pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: Over and Over again By: Nelly
i cant go on not loving you....3
today sucked. 1st hour was boring. 3rd was too. we watched a movie about a talking monkey. ooh yeah i said hi to sumone today. i was impressed. lol. anyways...at lunch fuckhead gustavo knocks my beloved dr. pepper on the ground and it like explodes everywhere and then jeremy throws a sandwich at my face!!! ahhh. lol. 5th was boring. so was 7th hour. after school got jamba juice and talked to damian and sum ppl. then daddy piked us up and i was gunna do my analytical article for english but i cant find an article to write about. grrrrness x 43473847. and i wanna do sumthing tonight.!!!
-later d0rks!-
<33-janelle
ps- the funniest thing i heard today was dana telling me that her cat's foot started on fire last night. LMAO!!
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2004 7 October :: 9.23pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Shes by: ryan cabrera <33
hes the one who brought me tot he edge...
today was ok. english we took two fucking essay tests. i swear to freakin god that that teacher is inhuman. 4th hour was ehh. i came to the conclusion that i am going to fail class particiaption, what else is knew? lunch-gustavo and jeremy were with us for a while, then we went over to damian and it started pouring, my skirt was flying up and i was trying to cram last minute for my ap history test. the test wasnt too bad. it was jus sooo long. 80 questions in 50 minutes. jeez. 6th was ehh. math is so fucking hard this year. it stresses me out so0o0o much. grrrrness. this is the first year that u havent had an A in math. i fucking suck. blehhh... after school hung around with damian camila eddie and stephanie. then walked home... muwahahah. anywyas...then went walking around with niki and nicole and we ran into tony...ehhh ick. hes so unlike mike. hes fat, white, and gay!!! grr then we saw chris (heart problem boy from OH) so we hung out with him and ran into jeremy, chris, and gusto along with brandon jj and matt at wendys so we all chilled. well minus our bros. we jus ate their food and sum old man looked at me strange. LOL. then we walked home and niki stepped in dog shit! LMAO it was hilarious. then came home, ate dinner and did my chemistry lab report. im so happy tomorrow is friday. i wanna do sumthing fun tomorrow. wanna make plans? comment or call me..
-later days-
<33-janelle
ps- Happy Birthday Max. =]
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2004 6 October :: 9.12pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: On the way Down by: ryan cabrera <33
i was so afraid of going under....
bored so taking a survey!
First....
First best friend: hillary
First car: none but it will be 50% of the ghetto-mobile!! LMAO
First real kiss: scott?
First break-up: well i broke up with scott but first time i got dumped was dan
First screen name: orangechic40288 (yeah its gay)
First self purchased album: nsync
First pets: cats and a dog
First piercing/tattoo: my ears when i was two
First credit card: dont gots one
First true love: ha...like im gunna say
First enemy: i actually cant remeber
First music you remember hearing in your house: dunno
First cigarette: never had one, never will..
Last...
Last car ride: today after school
Last kiss: oh god umm few weeks ago?
Last cry: couple of days ago prolly
Last library book checked out: A Portrait of a Lady
Last movie seen: godsend (freakkkky)
Last food consumed: hamburger
Last crush: i sorta have one now, sorta not..
Last phone call: today when camila wanted to go to the mall with matt and god knows who else
Last time showered: yesterday night
Last shoes worn: my black sandals
Last cd played: ryan cabrera!!! <33
Last item bought: candy after school
Last annoyance: my dad
Last disappointment: ha theres so many to name...
Last time wanting to die: i actually never wanted to die...
Last time scolded: um i never get in trouble
Last shirt worn: black t-shirt
Last website visited: woohu.com
Last word you said: away
Last song you sang: shame on me by ryan cabrera
What...
What is in your cd player?: ryan cabrera cd <33
What color socks are you wearing?: i dont wear socks...
What color of underwear are you wearing? purple!
What's under your bed?: um crap
What time did you wake up today?: 5:45 am
Future...
Where do you want to go?:UWM or Stanford
What is your career going to be? doctoral or psychological
Where are you going to live?: in a suburban community in a eastern state
How many kids do you want?: 1 or 2
What kind of car(s): cool ones
Current...
Current mood: happy :)
Current music: blind sight by ryan cabrera <33
Current taste: soda
Current hair: in a messy bun..looks like shit
Current clothes: black shirt and a skirt
Current annoyance(s): nothing really
Current longing: for a second chance...
Current desktop picture: sum ugly gray and black thing
Current favorite artist: ryan cabrera<33
Current book(s): Portrait of a Lady..errgggh.
Current color of toenails: black
Current time-wasting wish: haha...
[get to know you]
@ Name: janelle
@ Age: 16
@ Height: 5'6"
@ Sign: aries
@ Hair Color: blonde with black
@ Eye Color: i dunno they change
@ Foot Size: 8.5
@ Heritage: german
@ Birthplace: milwaukee, wisconsin<3
[schooling]
@ Pre-school: i was too cool for pre-school
@ Elementary School: our redeemed <33
@ Middle School: advent and OR
@ High School: OHHS <33 and WBRHS
@ College: UWM
@ Extracurricular Activity of Choice: basketball
@ Favorite Elementary School Memory: having a crush on rocky...geez what was i thinking? lol
@ Favorite High School Memory: all my wonderful friends that ive made <33 xoxo
[hygiene.. oh yea personal stuff]
@ Shower How Often?: everyday
@ Morning or Night Showers?: mornings
@ Brush Teeth How Often?: twice a day
@ Floss? (Don't lie!): like never lol
@ Shampoo Brand: sleek look
@ Soap/Body Wash Brand: sumthing from avon
@ Lotion Brand: i dont use lotion
@ Face Wash Brand: clean and clear
@ Toothbrush Color: pink and white!!
@ Body Spray: um none? lol
[love, hate, rejection, and all the fun stuff.]
@ Define Love: when two people complete each other..
@ Have you ever mistaken love for lust? possibly
@ Are you in love? With who?: im not sure. m
@ If yes, are you sure it's love?: no im not sure
@ If no, have you ever been in love?: im not sure once again
@ What happened?: ahh omg ur annoying
@ Have you ever been used?: yeppp
@ What happened and why?: too many times to tell
@ Have you ever used someone?: yes sadly
@ What happened and why?: same thing
@ Biggest disappointment (relationship/girl/guy-wise): haha...um lots.
@ Why?: omg stop asking really homosexual questions!!!
@ First Kiss?: haha um yeah that was bad...started with an r
@ Most Memorable Kiss?: that one night after the battle of the bands and the movie
@ PDA Fan?: not really
@ Ever been dumped?: yeah
@ Ever dumped?: yup
@ Worst kisser: both kevins lol
@ Worst hugger: anthony
@ Best kisser: max i think
@ Best hugger: dunnoo
@ Are you friends with any of your exes?: yeah
@ Nicest romantic thing done for you: haha nothing whatsoever..
[random questions because i'm done with catagorizing]
@ What are you wearing?: shirt and skirt
@ What are you doing?: this survey
@ What do you want to do with your life?: become a doctor, get rich, marry a handsome doctor
@ One Naughty Secret: that night at the window w/ camila + 2 boys =??? hahaha
@ One Silly Secret: teehee its a secret i cant tell
@ One Bad Habit: im so fucking picky
@ One Bad Personality Trait: i get pissed too easily
@ One Good Habit: im a nice person?
@ One Good Personality Trait: i dunno
@ One Natural Talent: i can say the stupidest things lol
@ One Acquired Talent: i dunno
@ Thing you want to do once in your life: meet ryan cabrera <33
@ Thing you will never do in your life: drugs
@ Where do you want to travel to?: italy
@ Where will you never go?: bangladesh
@ What do people not get about you?: everything...
@ What do you need right now?: to go to bed and study
@ What do you have right now?: nothing that i really want...
all done. =] now its time for bed.
-nite nite-
<33-janelle
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 6 October :: 6.55pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: illusions by: Ryan Cabrera <3333
if all of the things that you thought you would be pass you by....
OMFG. i am soooo incredibly happy right now that i cant stop smiling. my dad thinks im smoking sumthing. lol. but ahhh nothing can ruin my mood right now!!! =] =] =]
-I LOVE YOU ALL x0x0-
<3333333-janelle
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 6 October :: 5.35pm
:: Mood: devious
:: Music: tvs playing
if u need a car, truck or van..who ya gunna call? MAROONE!!..lol
grrrrness. matt and frank and josh are having a halloween party thing on either the 16th or the 23rd and camilas mom is letting her go well if i can go. and i prolly cant. cuz my mom isnt gunna let me go cuz theres gunna be drinking and shit. grrrr. i dont even know if i really wanna go.... blahhh.
-later G-units-
<33-janelle
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 5 October :: 6.11pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: All my life
and i thank god that i , that i finally found you...
today was pretty good actually. surprising since it was an even day. me and camila go to skool earlier and we ran into danny and his friend. so they decided to walk with us and hang out with us. yay we had friends this morning lol ! then owen showed up and yeah. owen=disaster waiting to happen. he dropped my damn box of notecards all over the floor. ahh i culda strangled him. then he sat on me. errrf. lol. aww it was fun this morning. i learned that u can eat weed thanks to my dear stoner friend danny <3. lol!!! english sucked but thats cuz we took a "realistic" ap test and i had no idea what the questions meant. lol. then we had to write a timed essay that i totally bullshitted. er. then spanish was ok. kinda fun. we actually got mrs. cripps to ramble off sunject for 15 minutes. we have never gotten her to do that before and this is the 3rd year shes been my teacher. lol. lunch was fine i suppose. i saw piercing boy!!! ahhhh <33 lol. but yeah. 5th hr was fine. 6th was ms. palettis bday and yeah it was fun. then after school chilled with camila and damien and sum strange kid whos white but turns brown. lol. then got picked up, went o wendys, saw all these gay middle schoolers and scott, gustavo, and jeremy. didnt stay to talk to them since they seem to have sticks up their asses lately. errrrg. whatevaaaaa. tomorrow=will be gay. i never do anything on odd days. blah. bye
-later acquaintences-
<33-janelle
mi favorite song as of a few days ago:
Cuz its all in my head,
i think about it over and over again
and i cant keep picturing you with her
and it hurts so bad..
cuz its all in my head,
i think about it over and over again
i replay it over and over again
i cant take it, yeah i cant take it no more...
i dont know what else to do,
i cant go on not loving you...
<333
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2004 4 October :: 4.48pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Love me for me BY :ashlee simpson
im not the kind of girl you want to leave, you'll see....
ah today suxed. we had school and it was a regular day.errrr... i wore my cute pink and black shoes and OMFG they hurt my feet so bad i was like gunna cry on the way to class. 1st hour we wrote letters to our army dudes. mine was soooo gay!! lol. 2nd hour was fine i gotta good grade on my scarlett letter reading log so im happyy. 3rd-gay. 4th-read a story in spanish yo no comprendo any of it. lol. 5th-fine. 6th-fine sean kept slapping me....grrr ! lol. 7th-fine. me and dana played with her Mars Mud lol it was squishy!! then after school hung out with damien and ppl and yeah. hes probly coming with us to homecoming. so thats cool. then went to publix to buy sum candy for ms. paletti since its "Suck Up Day" tomorrow. lol.
OMFG. during lunch, gustavo tried to break all my fingers like he told me he was gunna do yesterday. and he wound up giving me a big ass scratch on my forehead and under my eye. im gunna kill that bastard if it leaves a scar!!!!!
well now i gotta go fill chris in on the max thing which def. did not go as planned. i dont even know if he read the damn thing. grrrrness. w/e.
-later ya'll-
<33-janelle
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2004 3 October :: 5.58pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: All my life by: KC and Jo-J0
all my life, i pray for someone like you, and i hope that u feel the same way too....
today was fun. woke up at like 11. got ready watched dave the barbarian (my favorite show!!) then went out with mommy and grandma shopping. and i got to drive. yayy!! we went to bealls and i found my homecoming dress. im soo happy. then bought elastic at rag shop for my pink and black shoes that i bought the other day. i got black high heels for my dress and then got a new pair or jeans, a black shirt and a pair of black dickies. ooh and a new bra. lol. it was fun and mommy paid for it all. oh yeahhhh! came home. tried on my dress with my shoes and went outside to show alina. sum weird dudes in a truck whisteld nd shit so i flicked them off. lol. but whatevvvaaa. then my family ate their dinner (steak) that cost 72 fucking dollars. i hate steak so i ate hot dogs. lol. im weird. but now im gunna go get alina cuz i told her we'd hang out when i was done eating. ehhhh...we have school tomorrow. what joy. =[
-later dudes-
<33-janelle
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 1 October :: 8.01pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: n0thing..
bafangul x 4349834548989800000
omfg. today sucked so fucking bad u cant even imagine. fuking woke up at 1:30 cuz camila went fucking psycho last night and wuldnt got to sleep cuz she saw bernise the dead lady in her room. and then like didnt even shower till fucking 4 and did shit. nothing. nada. its so gay. came home to eat dinner and my family is fucking bothering me. i didnt eat like anything and ahhh. all i wanted to do was go out tonight. anywhere. i didnt care who was there or whatver. i jus need to get out of the fucking house before i do sumthing stupid. i cant take it anymore im having a horrible day everyone is bothering me i was gunna tell "him" that thing tonight cuz hes online but i dont think i have the strength to go thru it right now. i dont know what in fucking doing tonight but there is no way in hell i am staying inside.
-fuck!-
3-janelle
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 1 October :: 4.00pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: none
my other journal
heres the link for my livejournal. i dont use it much tho...
http://www.livejournal.com/~dumbblonde1137
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 1 October :: 1.55pm
:: Mood: apathetic
poem
i stole this from camila but i modified it a bit cuz it was bothering me. lol
mostly every girl i know wants a boy like this.....
Someone who would move the hair away from my eyes and than kiss me.
Someone who would let me sleep on their chest.
Someone to share lollie pops with.
Someone who would take me to the city just to walk around.
Someone who would look me in the eye and tell me something very, very serious, yet silly and tell me not to laugh.
Someone who would make me laugh like no one else could.
He would grab my waste and kiss my neck.
Sometimes at night we would put on music and dance in our pajamas.
Oh, and I’d love his bed head.
I want someone who would lay with me outside under the stars
and to talk on aim about stupid things.
Sometimes he would teach me how to play guitar, but he would always end up laughing at me.
He'd run his fingers through my hair.
He will get along with all my friends, and vice versa.
He'd love music just as much as I do, but still have that punk rock side to him.
We would make funny faces at each other when im on the phone
And we'd always take pictures in photo booths.
He'd pick up a flower for me while walking.
We’d kiss in the rain.
He'd hold me closer then normal if i was sick.
He would draw me pictures.
and when we kissed, our hips would be pressed together.
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