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dumbblonde1137
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2004 24 December :: 12.37pm
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: ryan cabrera <333
you're all i wanted...
yesterday was lame...
after school went home and got ready then me and camila hung out around target and the surrounding area till 4 when we went to get our nails done. i hate mine, they hurt and they bother me. i can barey fucking type. anyways before we hung out with evan s. and helped him look for a phone cover. then after got dropped off at the bus stop in sandalfoot and almost got ass raped like 652 times. it was scary. then sum black lady was randomly talking to us on the bus...weird. got there met up with allison and kristin and sum weird boys. they all left and we found sam and i saw ajay and kelsea <33. wow i havent seen ajay in like 518754 years. then we visited jess at his popcorn place and we left, but camila stayed there.. then me and sam bought new gauged earrings nd then met up with jay. and then this weird hatian thing was like talking to me and like wanted to get in my pants and sam and jay almost left me! and i was like "sammm" and he goes "no its ok let them go, then it can be just me and u" omg i flipped out. so we ran away. damn haitians like seriously. lol. then had to leave after having an episode. came home and yah. went to sleep.
omgg i had a really bad dream last nite, well more like a nightmare...i dreamed that i hated ryan cabrera!! omg. it was horrible.
<3-janelle
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2004 23 December :: 1.04pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: encore
what the hell are you waiting for??
cross my heart
i hope you die
for as long as i live
YOU will never ever take HIM from me.
^^and yes that goes for the OTHER HIM too.
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2004 23 December :: 12.59pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: eminem
step by step, heart to heart we all fall down...
today was last day of exam,..thank god. christmas in 2 days. woot. but yeah today i think im going to the mall with camila, kristin, allison, sam and possibly jay (the skanking kid). but yeah im still so sick. blahhh. tomorrow night im going with my family to lauri's house for dinner and then going out on the boat to look at xmas lights. should be fun. i love them <3. but im gunna go. later.
Happy Tropical Cowgirl Day! lolol
<33-Ak.
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2004 22 December :: 2.56pm
this is lame...
im lame..
you're lame.
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2004 21 December :: 9.21pm
wow, yeah you're not acting like a second grader...
=/
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2004 21 December :: 5.31pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: SHAME on me by: ryan <33
but i keep wondering of...<3
today was day 2 of exams. took AP environmental and psychology. they were both super hard...gah. then after school plans failed and me and camila were gunna walk home but ashlee and britany picked us up in her hot yellow mustang lol and she took us to the mall. me and camila had to carry our dorky backpacks around and now my neck/back is killing me!! mall was okay i bought niki and nicole their xmas presents =] im on my parents computer and its gay...i cant download AIM, its blocked...grr. but yeah. half days til thrusday then its xmas break!! woot. at the mall we ran into seth (lono) lol and we hung out with him. aww hes such a dork <3. lol. i also saw matt and george like 10 times! <33 im gunna miss having 3rd hour with them..but yeah. omg whats the saddest is i may never see Piercing Boy again...*tear*. but yeah. im kinda pissed off.
i'd like to say thank u soo much to ashlee and britt for taking us to the mall...also, i owe a BIGGER thank u to my oh so dear friends who fucking ditched us for the like...hmm...4th time?? whateverrr. fuck it.
<33-AK
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dumbblonde1137
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2004 18 December :: 7.37pm
:: Mood: denied
:: Music: ryan cabrera
but theres reasons darling,
you'll never know
i cant even start to explain how the go
^^srry guys. next entry is gunna be friends only cuz i dont wanna deal with ur shit. =]
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2004 18 December :: 7.26pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: lostprophets
to never fall in love again....
gah. this weekend was 100% pure gayness.
FRIDAY:
---after school me and camila got ready and took the bus to the mall. sam met us there and so did kristin. it was fun. we sorta shopped, i only had 4 dollars lol. i ran into justin b. niki and trystan.. and the person i never thought i'd see again--the dude i talked to when i took my SATs. lol it was weird. aww we did our makeup at sephora and then we were walking on the "rich people" side of the mall and niki calls me and says "guess whos here?......PIERCING BOY!!!!i literally screamed and sprinted to the other side of the mall where he supposedly was. awww i saw him <33 and he was with his mommy, how adorable!! then we left.
---came bak to camilas house and ate cake. then decided that we all we sleep over her house. jeremy, chris, and max came over till like 12ish. yeah. um no comment.. then we went inside and slept.
SATURDAY:
---woke up early, did chores, then got ready and took the bus to the mall with camila and kristin...AGAIN. lol. ommmmmmg. there were sum weird ppl on the bus this time. there was a guy that looked like tony hawk after he smokes crack and a hobo. a real one. but he was loaded with money. he kept looking at us funny. it was scary. then at the mall we met up with sam and allison. then ran into people. saw justin k. and matt!! lol. also we ran into chris and his friends and we hung out with them. it was hysterical. then chris's friend andy drove me and camila home and yeah.
------my parents didnt believe my coverup story for skipping into 2nd lunch on friday. whatever. they do now. i lied more and changed the subject. tomorrow im going xmas shopping for ppl. what joy..
<33-janelle
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2004 18 December :: 4.50am
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: pablo portillo - demasiado
after i came back it just wasn't the same . and i tried not saying anything , hoping maybe it would become what it was yesterday , what it was ten minutes ago , but it just got worse and worse . i felt so violated , like my emotions were nothing , like i should shut up and take it , like that's what you wanted . now , in retrospect , i'm so nauseous . i know there's nothing wrong but maybe there is something wrong and that's the problem . como me expreso cuando hablo y hablo y nada te entra ? i feel so vulnerable . i feel like i've given you all i have and you don't know me at all . i wish i could just let you into my head and maybe you'd understand because i know you want to , i know you want to , but you just don't . i hate this feeling . i know it'll go away but i wish it would go away sooner .
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2004 13 December :: 3.33pm
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: fallout boy
where is your boy tonight?...
last night was the most AMAZING night of my life....
......Jingleball 2004: got ready and went to the ODC with ashley sam and camila. got there and sam forgot the tickets lol so camilas parents had to come bak. then we go up to the top thingy and there was this guy posing as ryan cabrera. an imposter ryan cabrera!! that made me mad. then when we got in, me and sam bought shirts, (i bought a ryan cabrera one lol) then on our way to the bathroom to change into our new shirts, we saw a sign that said Meet Ryan Cabrera here after the performance". i had a spaz. we changed and then went to our awesome seats. FOURTH ROW BABY!!! ryan cabrera performed first. it was amazing. he sang "Exit to Exit", "True", and "On the Way Down". god it was beautiful. lol. he showed the crowd his pink santa socks and scooby-doo boxers , hes soooo adorable omg! then, since there wasnt alot of ppl there yet since it jus started, me and same were the only ones around us standing up and i was jumping up and down, yelling "i love you" and waving and omggg...he waved to me!! yeah i know, im a fag. lol.--oh yeah and hes so skilled that he slso sang in spanish. then as soon as he was done singing, he busted out his drumming skills for us. so hott. then as soon as he was done, we fucking sprinted to where we could meet him. turned out u had to buy his cd right there for $20 to meet him. so i bought another cd and got in line. ommmmg. i almost died. he signed my cd "To: JANELLE ryan cabrera". and i couldnt say anything but i knew i had to so i finally managed to say to him: omg, i love you and then he was like You Rock! --and he gave me a high five!!!!. then hahahha i asked him if i could touch his hair. hahah he said Sure! ---and bent his head down and i touched it!!! it was amazing. then sam took my picture with him. then we had to leave and after we left i started crying hysterically. that was literally a dream come true.
after that i called like evryone i could think of :gustavo, mommy, chris, max, niki, nicole, lauri, alina, etc. then we went bak and watched the rest of the concert. switchfoot, hilary duff , black eyed peas, and maroon 5 were the best. john mayer, kevin lyttle, and alicia keys were good too. omg there was this extremely gay man/tranny who was like dancing in the aisle and got the entire stadiums attention. it was cute..lol. after the concert we met up with our limo driver, Zilton. hahaha. i had never been in a limo before, but they are highly overrated. then we went home and yeah.
my life is definately complete now....<333
ryan cabrera is such a sweetheart, and he writes/plays his own music. siiiigh...he's absolutely perfect.
<33
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2004 12 December :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: amazed !
:: Music: cypress hill - hand on the pump
a celebration was in order for the end of the semester / awesome grades / I CAN SMOKE MORE POT THAN EVER BEFORE so we got the hotel and it went under our tongues and we headed to the beach so we didn't burn up stuffing nine people in one tiny little room and once we got there we realized we forgot the tequila but by then it was too late because we'd never make it back to the room alive trying to cross collins ave. when which cars were real ? and i saw that bus but he didn't so does that mean i'd be alive right now and he wouldn't or it just doesn't mean anything at all ? so we made it to the room but nobody even wanted any tequila and brian spilled the salt anyway all over his hand ... maybe he doesn't even need any more tequila . so why did we come back to the room ? and we went back to the beach with that same dilemma with the cars and this building wasn't here last time ... but let's go a different way because this is a concentration camp and i don't want to be here ! so okay just forget it look , it's a palace , and i guess you're right . but i'm soooooo hungry so it's back to collins to get some food , and i have twenty dollars ! and ana has twenty dollars and lance has twenty dollars ! and we can have all the food we want but after three croquetas i realize i'm not even hungry at all so you can finish them and the chicken wings too but let's go back to the room . so we finally made it to our destination but it's constantly changing so it's not much of an accomplishment but anyway we're chilling and awesome until there's a knock on the door and so much for security because now we have to drive anyway so i guess it's over but just try not to let yourself focus on one thing for too long especially not the lines on the road but especially not the stoplights because maybe you won't really see the right color so just try and stay behind one car for the entire ride home and ONE MORE DAY TO LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND , TO GO WHERE YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN TRIED . DON'T YOU LET YOUR INHIBITIONS GUIDE YOUR WAY .
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2004 12 December :: 3.28pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: lil jon usher and luda
we could be lovers and friends
RYAN CABRERA TONGIHT!!!!!
<33333333 x 45454541879
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2004 11 December :: 10.55pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: ryan cabrera
im afraid to know the ending, do you want me too?
RYAN CABRERA IN CONCERT TOMORROW!!!
we're taking a muthafuckin LIMO home from the concert!!!!!!!
woot. woot.!
and my daddy bought me a digital camera for xmas and gave it to me early (today) so that i can take pics of ryan!! aww i love my daddy!!
-yay-
<3333333
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2004 10 December :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: ryan cabrera <333
and i wont forget the way you loved me...
im so stressed out. i have so much shit to do this weekend and def. not enuff time to do it all in.
english article analysis
enviromental scrapbook project/paper thing
history test monday
chemistry test monday
bunch of enviro worksheets due
11.3 in math (totally dont get)
nicole jus told me that we have a quiz on 11.1-11.3 fuck!!!
i have to clean my room (that will take forever)
and most importantly,... JINGLEBALL.
gahhh im going to lose my fucking mind. and im gettting sick on top of all that and everyone is pissing me off. i cannot wait until december 24th.
-2 days-
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2004 9 December :: 8.00pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: nsync xmas cd
everybodys back together again..
and you guys wonder why i hate the people at west boca...
i mean, look at how my "so-called friends" treat me. and you expect me to go to school everyday with a smile on my face and act like evrythings okay?
dont criticize me until you fucking realize the shit i go through.
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