jaganshi
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2004 30 December :: 5.06pm
I just realized... my journal is no longer interesting.
Don't worry. I'll get miserable enough to keep your attention again after a couple more days up at my parents' house.
2 Chose the right path.People |
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jaganshi
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2004 30 December :: 5.04pm
I don't know what to say. Everything is as it has been for years and therefore does not bear explanation. I need to get caught up in my paper journal, but I'm stuck on one entry that's a month and a half old. I need to finish it but I just don't have the heart to go back and relive certain things that nevertheless need to be recorded in some kind of coherent form.
At any rate, this journal entry of mystery won't make an appearance on any of my blogs, as it is actually rather private and to post it would also infringe on the privacy of another. Therefore.... I just have to deal with it. I'll probably wait until I'm already depressed, and therefore in the mood for a spot of masochism.
My parents are... my parents. It's really just my IRL friends who have any clue. My parents (my mother, really) are the kind of people you have to know to dislike.
Do you think we decided right?
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jaganshi
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2004 30 December :: 2.47pm
Sorry I haven't been online. I have not had internet for a while. I'll try and do a little better now that I can actually get to the internet every once in a while.
Do you think we decided right?
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0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
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2004 29 December :: 3.08pm
:: Mood: Blegh
:: Music: Silence
You should get it.. Because my numchucks don't fit in there.
You are Courtney Love. Yer Fucking Reckless. You can't keep yer fabulous clothes on cuz yer too fucked up to walk. However in the midst of the mess of yer existence yer chaos is still provoking. You might be a slut but when your in love you mean it.
Which punk rock goddess are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Really? Hmn.
My stomach kinda hurts.. and I'm drinking carbonated apple juice.. And my knee hurts..
But atleast the scab is forming. Thanks, Keith.
I'm home alone right now.. my little brothers are out with some Christmas money. Anyways, yeah..
I wonder how many people actually read my journal..? My pointless ramblings and verbal abuse pointed towards myself.. Just lovely.
I have to give Ducky his earring back.. his mom doesn't like him wearing the one I got for him.. It's a skull n crossbones with a chain up to a fake cartillage cuff. It's really hot, but his mom doesn't want him wearing it 'cause she thinks it'll lead to other peircings.. like his nipple.
Giggle.
"Celebrate with Martinelli's"
2 Chose the right path.People |
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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2004 26 December :: 1.04pm
:: Mood: Hurried
:: Music: Boy childrens
GIGGLE
Submissive -- The one with the real power in the play, you like to get down on all fours or get tied 'till you turn purple, but you won't hesitate to use the safe word if things start to get out of hand. Pretend all you want, you're the master here.
What BDSM type are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Giggle. I concur. Anyways, I'm still trying to figue out backgrounds on myspace. It's annoying me.
Kthnxluvyabai! >>
"Boo, you whore."
3 Chose the right path.People |
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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2004 25 December :: 3.07pm
:: Mood: Eh?
:: Music: King Diamond -- Them
Resolutions.
Dec. 30, 2003
1. Loose some weight...
2. Get a boyfriend.
3. Err... Dye my hair for High School..
4. Win manga contest.. or write my own doujinshi.
5. Learn to HTML to make a shibby osome cosplay site.
6. Go to all the conventions I can.
7. Meet cosplayers in my area.
8. Make the anime club better.
9. Make the anime club better.
Giggle. Those were my New Years' resolutions last year ^^; What a silly..
I was reading some of my old posts, and god.. I was a bitch <<;;;
Just agree with me an get it over with XDD
LOVE!
"OHHHHHH, it is tiiime for teeea!"
3 Chose the right path.People |
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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2004 25 December :: 12.14pm
:: Mood: YEY
:: Music: Christmas Moosic
SWEEPING! YEEEEAH!
Happy Christmas! YEEEY! Zomg! This is, like, my one-year journal anniversary!! HAPPY JOURNAL DAAAAAAY! ^^ LovE! <3<3<3
Guess what I got!? XDDD
Well, I got three sets of pajamas and some happy nail polish, new choker (fancy!) a Kimono-style Bratz doll (XD I'm scared to open the box it's so pretty!) Hell Boy, the makings of a new computer (whooo hooo, I get to assemble a compuuuterrrr <<) An "aqua pet" (mine looks like a snot ball and it's named Lugi.. ewwer) A belt, stockings, so on and so forth.
Giggle. Happy things ^^ My little cousin Nikki (Remember? THE BOOB BEATERRR?! XD) is coming over, and we're going to continue our COLORING FUN!!!
WHOO!
COLORING FUN!!!
Okay.. <<; Bit excited about coloring a fuzzy poster.
WHOOOO!
FLOOR-SWEEPING TIIIME!
YEAAAAAH!
I don't think I could get sad today if I wanted to XD
LOBE YOU! Merry Christmas! <3!
"One joy scatters a hundred griefs."
1 Chose the right path. |
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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2004 23 December :: 12.17pm
:: Mood: Finished. Tired.
:: Music: My Chemical Romance
Honesty?
Finally, exams are over. Hopefully I'm going with Lindsay and to Diego's tomorrow. I'm tired.. but I want to finish Lindsay Gerard picture. Gerard's the singer from My Chemical Romance. We <3 him, and I love "I'm Not Okay', expecially the music video ^^ Giggle. GUESS WHAT?!
I wuz, like, a totl loozer! N sind ^ w/ MYSPACE!
Hehe, guess I am a poser, huh? I WANNA BE A PREPP! AHHH! >>
After I burn them all..
Giggle.
Really, now? I wouldn't know that, I guess. Anyways, I love you, you love me, Merry Christmas Holidays.
"Warming up is to: Put a clarinet mouth peice in a tuba!
P.S. No true people were hurt in the making of this message
P.P.S. One is not allowed to say Christmas because it's... belief.. ist.. <<
P.P.P.S. Haha.. I said PP!
4 Chose the right path.People |
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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2004 21 December :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: Stressed, tired, head-achy
Ze omg ._. Just what one needs during exams week
Kandles500: I don't think me and naomi are friends anymore
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Heh, after what you said about all three of us, I doubt I want to be friends with you, too
Kandles500: well, you ca't forget that naomi and jen said the same things whether or not she decided to tell you that
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I guess I could understand, the posse is allowed to have little spats, even though they were totally uncalled for in the first place. But you, Amanda, have sunk to resorting to telling OTHER people this
Kandles500: these other people don't like you guys and say the same things, so if I agree with them how is that telling them otherwise? and you didn't even want me to be part of the "posse" at the very beginning you didn't like me and I still don't think you do. I have many examples of why I think this, in fact for all the things I've said I have proof.
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mhmm, why wouldn't I want you to be part of the Posse? Quite frankly, I loved the thought of new members. Maybe you thought I didn't want you because, at the time, I was quite intimidated by your presence, but not for ONE SECOND after I got to know you did I doubt you, Amanda.
Kandles500: you never seemed to accept me. it seemed like to be part of the group a
Kandles500: I had to ask your permission
Kandles500: You are the leader of the posse emily
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I think it's co-owned
Kandles500: Every decision is left up to you eventually you have the final say even if you ask and consult other people
Kandles500: and it shouldn't be owned at all, we should all just be friends, not some sort of government or social heirachy
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I don't believe in a government posse, it is all just friends. In a group. Called the posse because that means a group of friends. I never thought I was the leader and maybe a few decisions were left up to me because they involved my house or something of the sort, but I didn't believe we were some organization.
Kandles500: that's how I felt, everyone in the posse looked to you for almost everything invluding the admittance of a new member, and I never really felt accepted by you as I said before, you seemed to be suspicious of me and very judgemental
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: At first I was. I'm very suseptible to taunting and bullies scared me. You silent reputation preceded you and it scared me easily, not to mention you looked like you kicked my ass if I ever said something a bit wrong, but people's opinions change, especially after they learn more about said being. It was very judgemental, but could you not see it from my eyes if a girl of your strength started hanging around you? I didn't even know your name for a while.
Kandles500: but I as in the same position as you. easily prone to taunting. my whole life I was made fun of for how I looked, that's probably why I had a reputation, because after a while I gave in to the bullies and became one myself only to protect myself never to purposely hurt anyone, and I was intimidated by you, everyone liked you you had such great charisma.
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Ugh, I was a stupid-face.
Kandles500: you see emily, I like you and I want to be friends with you, it's just little squirmishes that I don't tell you that bother me that bring us to this, I still want to be friends with you I just want you to know how I feel about some of the things you do
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I am exactly the same, and I don't really appreciate being called a bitch and a poser. You see, calling Naomi and I such things might score you points with the older crowd, but not with the one you had before them. Unfortunately, this mishap has really hurt my feelings, for I thought you would atleast stand up for me, but apparentally you didn't. Now, I don't know if you were talking about Jade as well, if you were, that's REALLLY stupid, but whatever.. That's what you do, apparentally.
Kandles500: but I thought being mad at you would make the whole posse mad at me, so I didn't mention it
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: You should of just told me you didn't like me instead of putting me through the he-says-she-says
Kandles500: NO! I never frickin called you or jade a poser and a bitch. I called naomi a poser and a bitch to someone who already thought that. But emily sometimes people don't handle confrontations well. I do like you, though sometimes you make me mad. I still want to be your friend and please make sure you've heard both sides of the story before you start accusing people
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I beg of you, fill me in on how Naomi is a poser?
Kandles500: I don't know if yopu'll understand and I doubt you'll agree
but here goes
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mmkay
Kandles500: last year she didn't wear any black or chains or skulls or anything like that, things I will unfortunately have to label as gothic, but then suddenly, she wore black and chains and skulls and started being pouty all the time and tried to be friend s with more gothic people, liking only gothic guys when she used to like people like bill. she just changed from being naomi, who was an individual to being some goth girl that I don't think I know. just what she used to like and act like and be like to someone
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I see.
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mayve she just thought it was time for a self-make-over?
Kandles500: I don't even know, and I know people change but hse did a whole personality adjustment that just isn't the kind of make-over you're talking about. cuz at home she's still like she used to be but at school she's completely different
Kandles500: It's like she only acts like that to impress people or to fit in
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Maybe she is trying to fit in?
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Who isn't?
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I'm sure you really only agreed with the older people to fit in, right?
Kandles500: my mom tells me that I'm too upfront with people, always asking them how they feel about me and confronting them about issues, so I stopped because I didn't want to push them away, but I felt like it made the friendship weaker.
Kandles500: and no I didn't do it to fit in, I didn't even understand naomi when she told me who told her so I can't really say but if it's who I think it is then that was one person who already hated naomi and said she was a bitch and a poser before I did, I only stated what I felt at the time because I do believe naomi is somewhat of a poser unless she can prove me wrong and she is a bitch even she says that people think she's a bitch, I know I can be a bitch sometimes, everyone can. Just at this moment in time,
Kandles500: I really don't feel like she's my friend even before I said those things.she was much more distant than she used to be and it always seemed like she was mad at me
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: She said she grew a bit more annoyed with you because you, yourself, became isolated. You felt her distance because she was picking up the same distance from you, in turn, you both split like Pangaea. Her brother told her that the group was talking, and Cecilia lives right behind her. She feels Cecilia doesn't have the right to judge because she doesn't know Naomi.
Kandles500: that's true but I do know her and I've witnessed alot and gone through some much shit with naomi, I have many examples of how much of a bitch she was to me, and I distanced myself to see if that would somehow help m,e because she was always mad at me and I didn't want to deal with some small annoyance. I was jsut tired of doing stuff like this because I refused to give her a tic tac or something, they were always stupid shit like that
Kandles500: now emily that all my feelings are out in the open and yours too, that we can somehow fix our broken friendship because I do want to be friends with you no matter aht naomi says?
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I think a night's sleep is in order because my brain is oozing from my eyes and ears as we speak. It's.. kinda gross >>;; We'll see what the new day brings, Ms. Bartmon.
Kandles500: Ok, sleep well, good luck tomorrow, and emily I mean it, I want to be your friend but let me deal with naomi myself, ok? just please don't tell her what we talked about, I don't want you to get further invloved with it, too much stress
Kandles500: I want to talk to naomi without outside influence, is that ok"?
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I don't see how I'm outside.. she told me right
after she head it from her brother. Surely, you can confront her one on one, but she'll probably be trying to acoid you
Kandles500: I know, she won't listen to me like you and jade did, that's why I distanced myself but now the pot has boiled over and we all got burned, good night
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Good night
Dandy. o.o
15 Chose the right path.People |
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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2004 20 December :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: Self-hating.
:: Music: Nothing.
Poe
Edgar Allen Poe was a fucking mastermind.. I swear, this poor dead guy's a genius. I would love to randomly mail people bits of his work..
Wouldst thou fancy some Poe, accompanied with a holiday greeting? Leave your name and address, and it shall be sent <3!
Anyways, yeah..
It's exams week. I've cut my nails into points, and Dan still hasn't called.. I'm supposed to take his torn pants and sew them up with pretty beads. Kind of like the gay hat. HEY KEITH?! Can I mend your pants with pretty beads?! XD It'd be so hot ^^
No matter how sadistic it sounds, I like hurting people..
I know, that sounds really mean, but it's true. Like biting, and clawing, and.. side-squeezing and all that, it's just so >>; Amusing..
I'm a horrible person, aren't I?
"Well, usually when I ask nicely, I get what I want."
3 Chose the right path.People |
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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2004 14 December :: 8.14pm
:: Mood: Odd
:: Music: Acid Rave Mix -- burnt by Jade
The People Poems
Mostly family and friends.. Enjoy.
David
David is of questionable intent
he does not believe in lent
if you ask his father, mother, or brother
you'll know how his time is spent
he has a certain way to dip
and his salad usually drips
though he's nice and young and stuff
he sure has a lot of lip
this boy pisses off his mother
and if you interrogate his younger brother
he'll tell you of all the horrible things
of spoon and snakes and the other
I sure do love him a lot
though he and I have fought
we have hated and cried and the like
though I rather have him than not
Jeremy
Jeremy is a hot-headed kid
he sure can flip his lid
he looks like dad and kind of like me
though he could be sold for the lowest bid
This boy fears the shower
as if it had an evil power
he denies anyone who proposes it
with enough anger to make Jesus cower
he over-reacts a lot
screaming and ranting with haught
pride is something he never could lack
posessing enough to make Midus rot
but all together, the child is fine
with just a touch of whine
one could like him through the pomp
and in many aspects, he shines
Lindsay
Lindsay is gewd
she is picky about food
she doesn't like mayonnaise
or the fishy seafood
Preppy she is not
and surely she is hot
for my only Lindsay
I will not allow her any pot
My Lindsay fancies noodles
and shie if the kit of caboodles
fun on a bun, happy on the run
she is giggly as a pack of poodles
Oh Lindsay of the praces
firey with the races
if you look at her shoe, ignoring the poo
you'll see her fancy black laces!
I'll put up more as they're written =p Leave a comment if you'd fancy one, and if you do, gimme some weird stuff that you like/don't like. That makes them more interesting ^^
LUVVLES!
1 Chose the right path. |
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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2004 14 December :: 8.03pm
:: Music: Acid Rave Mix -- burnt by Jade
Nothing But a Day
To the tune of Something in the Way by Nirvana
My eyes have seen too much
and my
brain has decided not to
My love has called it quits
and I
need a new retreat to
Keep me from myself
and my
self-hating feelings
{chorus}
No one here to stay
But you
Nothing but a day
Yeah
Nothing but a day, here, too
{/chorus}
All my life is void
and I
think null is in order
Hate is all I grasp
and your
love is lighting my needs
My new soul has emerged
though my
encasement is crumbling
I hated all this life
but you
still take time to talk to me
I wish I saw your heart
beacuase
mine is much more open
:chorus:
My love has no more life
but you
could have seen it sooner, too
:chorus:
>>;; YEah, I know, teh stupid ^^; LOVE YOU!
"I wanna say hi!"
"" You've said hi 5 million times!""
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Jaganshi
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2004 13 December :: 3.11pm
Weird shit happens to me on the internet. I'm accosted from out of nowhere with an offer of fish from a guy named Dan. There was no explanation or qualification. A window popped up from him and this is what it said.
I'm Lithaladhwen.
A Rockin SN: FRESH FISH!
Lithaladhwen: WE CATCH EM YOU BUY EM!
A Rockin SN: ...
A Rockin SN: Holy crap. o_o
Haha. I win.
3 Chose the right path.People |
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jaganshi
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2004 10 December :: 3.43pm
Anthropological Look at Sugoicon
Read more..
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0x-fwah-em-chan-x0
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::
2004 9 December :: 5.08pm
Teh Yawn
Mmf.. ._.;; Not done with project quite yet. It's due tomorrow. I think I'll get it done by myself, without that good-for-nothin's help. Mike, if you didn't know. Hehe, today was silly ^^
I got these wife-beater type shirts last night and pulled one on, and ask just about anyone, they're freakin' dresses on me.
Very fitting dresses which I'd never wear infront of people unless it was as a sleepy thing and even then I'd be wearing pants under it, but still a dress.
It's a man's medium, and it just about reaches my knees..
Aren't I a sad, extremely little person? Oh well ^^ COMFEH! Maybe I could finish by seven and go to U Turn! AHHH! I hope so! I better keep working xX; What'd I come in my room for again? LATER!
".. pfft."
5 Chose the right path.People |
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