the honeymoon is almost over. :(
the honeymoon is almost over. :(
a friendship lost in the dust
but a new oe just begining
a new day starting
and an old one fadding away.

a-ha
He Said I Love You!!!! A-Ha!!!!!!! Yawn.

Are You Afraid Of The Dark? Telling ghost stories
that scare the crap out of me is your goal in
life. Please stop, the clowns'll eat me...


What's Your 90's Nickelodeon Show?
brought to you by Quizilla


haha righhhhhttt.

i think i love you?
"i think i love you but what am i so afraid of" hah, that song. expresses me. i mean someone would look at my life and say o its perfect. nothing to complaine about. but there are some things. in my dream life i would have the guy of my dreams, the world would be great, my familly would be great, and my familly would be awsome, i would also have good friends. i sit back and dream all of that evernight, 2/3 of it is true. 1/3 isnt. thats what i want. but i cant get. i am not going to be obbsesive, but i mean cant i just get what i want sometimes? i mean if a guy knew someone liked him this much, wouldnt he goo for it? normally yes, but in this case, no. whatever. :(

boohoo
December: 7
Today Katherine told me the true story about tom. It is weird but o well. It does suck that he is so much older then me. But maybe when im in high school and he’s in collage then it won’t be as weird. And maybe I will look like jaimie and I know that would help a shit load. So for now I guess maybe I will go back to Micah because there is no one else, and I want someone that I know I will have a chance with. I mean Micah is an ass but I mean that doesn’t mean I still cant like him. Why not?! I mean I know I told everyone I am over him (which I am) but maybe I will like him again, until the day comes when tom and I will have a chance, which might not be till im in 9th or 10th grade cause I will be 14 and he will be turning 19 and in 10th I will be 15 and he will be turning 20. I don’t know, it might not work, but it might?! I think. Maybe im not?...I mean I got alot of friends but I don’t hear from them, my family is…..weird, and my “love” life is everywhere. Actually, it’s nowhere but as Katherine said, I have to earn love. I mean I guess if we all were just handed love, then some people would abuse it and that would be unfair to the people that would want it and would need it. The only reason I don’t like love is because it hurts some people very badly, but at the same time it makes some people so happy, that their face lights up when they hear the word love. That’s what I want! But I don’t want it to the extent of marriage just yet. I want the type that is like, he’s my boyfriend, im his girlfriend we like each other almost love each other and no matter the age the connection is still there. I want THAT! That’s it. All I want in life. Is that that much to ask? I guess so because it’s not going to happen. This past New Years Eve and the time I spent with Katherine alone was one of the best times of my life! I must admit it! I loved hanging out with just her. Also, we hung out with tom, Sean, Reid, Ryan, and Lawrence. Yet the whole time was like a fairy tale. I didn’t want to go home. The reason being is because when im at Katherine’s house I am comfortable. The way I wish, I felt at home. When I got to her house, all of my troubles and all of my thoughts go away. All I think of is having fun! And the funny thing is, is that’s what happens. We have a blast! I love it. And I don’t even want to come home. I mean she is probably thinking “man she doesn’t want me to come over all she wants to do is come to my house, why?” and even if she’s not im, sure she will soon. The reason being is I love her house, her room, the friends, the movies, the park at night and the plain word I call fun! If you ever sent the night at her house, it would make you not want to go home. That’s why whenever she says lets go here or lets go to this persons house I don’t want to I just want it to be her and I sitting on her brothers bed with Lawrence, Sean, Reid, Ryan and tom <3 watching a movie, laughing our asses of and having Sean say “man some gay guys are quick” and having that one second of pure laughter nothing else. That whole night, all there was laughter. My mom thought it was odd that 17-year-old boys were hanging out with 12 and 13 year old girls, because of Joe and Jaimie, but just because that’s how they were doesn’t mean that’s how we are. We have good clean fun. And I wish she would understand that. Maybe one day she will but until then, I will have to do my best at trying to get her to believe that. Frankly, I know that if I was at Katherine’s house and someone was doing anything I would tell Katherine to let me call my mom and get me out of there. I wouldn’t take it. And right now mom is trying to knock some sense into me and make me go to bed. But I don’t know how well that will work hah. But as I was saying, Katherine’s house is the place to be. When my parents call and say what time should we pick you up I wish I could say never. I mean her mom wouldn’t care if I spent 2 nights in a row sleeping over. I wish I could but my mom won’t let me. I mean I don’t understand why. Does she think we will do something, we wont I swear. I love hanging out with Katherine and I never get sick of her. I just wish mom, for one week would let me sleep over and have Kat sleep every like 5 times in a row lol. That would be my dreamtime. I mean I don’t want Kat to feel like im using her its just so much fun to be there. Also when she told me when tom said I would sit next to her and tell her how beautiful she is I was flattered ( she said he said something to the extent) but I mean to know someone older thinks your cute and thinks you have a mad awesome personality makes me smile the widest smile ever, and when tom said look at my age I agree. It sucks but I do agree. Who know what life has in store for me. All I know is that I hope that I see me, being happy, being with tom, finding love and living happily ever after…

Goodnight
sabby

blah
December:5
Welp tonight I went to kitkats and we did absolutely! Nothing! Lol jeff came over and then we went to the park and made a mini bonfire again, then we came back to kats house and had a pillow fight and then mom came to pick me up. That was myt day, woohoo! And tomorrow that dumbass wants me to go to edens house at 9 in the freaking morning, does she actually think im going to wake up? Haha I don¡¦t think so! And I think I am over micah! I kid you not¡Klol hahah priceless haha man¡K.i truly and honestly do, cause when I was looking at his profile and under marital status he put ¡§I love you Barbie¡¨ I wasn¡¦t sad, mad, angry, or jelouse I was fine. ƒº and im sure kat would be extatic right now! And honestly I don¡¦t even dream about going out with him anymore, I like another guy but¡K.i wont get into that. All I have to say is Micah is history, and frankly I don¡¦t really care anymore. And right now I am so mad because I have an asshole for a father! And im mad! Jesus Christ! Whatever I don¡¦t care. And im not even tired. Damn! Grrr! Im so bored to! But like I was saying, I don¡¦t care about micah at all. Frankly he could leave town and I wouldn¡¦t care. Hes such a loser. Man I cant even believe I liked him! jesse¡K..its poathetic really. How the world thinks. And how your heart controls your thoughts. I hate it! I wish I could just love someone and have them love me back. But as katheirne sadi, you have to earn love. Plain and simple. No other way. Welp anyways im out gnight lata x0x00x

?
December:4
Is this why I sit here…is this why I was put on this earth? To please you, to satisfy your every need?...is that the answer?...I don’t think it is…but again im not you. I don’t know what you think. You’d always think that a guy has a heart and that he would care about you, and other people around him. But the truth is he doesn’t. All he cares about is pleasing himself. No one else. Some guys might think of other people and they might care. But it is very rare to find him. I mean I know a guy who IV heard is perfect. In my eyes. I mean someone else could think he’s anything but perfect, but I don’t. I like him, but he doesn’t have any feelings for me. Why? Is it the age difference perhaps? Or the way I look or the way I act? I really don’t know. And frankly, I really care. Not the expression you always hear huh? Nah but I don’t think its age. I think it’s my personality and the way I look. Truthfully, I think im ugly. That is not what everyone says but when I look in the mirror, I don’t like what I see, at all. I mean I know a kid and he is around my age, has kinda cute, I mean I was totally infatuated with him a few weeks ago, but know I don’t really like him. I mean Kat introduced me to him. He doesn’t have any good qualities like the other guy I like does. What makes me like him? The fact that he does drugs and drinks? Is that it? I don’t know. But all I know is that I would go for tom any day. More then Micah, hard to believe huh? Yea it is. Not many people believe me when I say im kinda over him. But the truth is, I am. I mean he has/had (not sure) a girlfriend, and as much as in the beginning I was horribly sad, I realized how much better it is for me. Kat is right. It is… man she’s good. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I love my friends… especially Kat and kenza. And im going to miss all the times we have when we go to high school. I mean the lighting the candles and making a bon fire, and Katherine, that dumbass, forgetting the paper and pen for a spirit writing! Dumb ass! And we forgot marshmallows! Man! O well shit happens, what can I say. Exactly absolutely nothing. Welp im out. Lata x0x0

p.s hopefully tomorrow I will go to Kats, sleep over and pick up kenza from school, fun fun! Woohu! Gotta love it! Peace <3

yawn yawn.
well tonight was quit fun, i went to kats,then we went to mike/os and saw him, ryan and derek play (in their band), they were awsome.i can no longer call them posers. im so tired right now. everything is spinning. i ddont think that is good so i must be leaving.. sabby.