dieing slowly just by looking at you.
Tonight was a weird night, it wasnt that fun but it was a night i wont forget. i went to kats hosue today and i then qwent to micahs alone, he told me to come back so i did and when i did we really didnt talk about anyhitng, he was just putting his hands all over me and i eel used because he has a flipping girlfriend?! wtf?! i dont want to be a fucking science experiment! i dont know if he likes me or not! it migt just be he thinks im an easy target! i feel like im choking in a non chocking zone!"Cigarettes and open air, hand in hand and i said Stay with me Cause every star that i see is better then the last........."finch, that is the best song!! i hate mixed signals!they stink! love stink! being love stryck totaly and utterly sucks! i mean you would think i would be happy that HIM wants to talk to me (i dont know about what) and is touching me but im not because he has a girlfriend and i wish WE were going out i feel aucword!but w/e happens happens...im out

feeling friscky?
hahah katherine!man! good times! welp tongiht i went to micahs and we sat outside of less then a aminute and same wif yesterday, and hopefully tomorrow i will go to his house alone, and he said he wanted to tlak to me so well see what itsa bout, i eman i dont know what it could be about he has a g/f?! i mean i wish he ddnt but he does. and right know im alking to kayl;a and she is saying that she doesnt like kat saying sabby and i are best friends, its making me laugh! w/e! and im also listening to play! man what a poppy band! hahah its horrible! and dream street is in ito! man ! kat i want him now! lol hahah get on mybed right know im feeling friscky! haha man that was awsome! lip gloss! yes but come to think of it i hate guys! they are lieing bullshitters! all of them! none of them are realy, cool trustworthy guys! i ahte it! man my analogy is still correct! i just want to float out into space and watch all of the people i know fuck up there life ad watch them and laugh at them! because tey are so fucking stuiped! thats all i want to do! im out

the black hole sindraum
if i where to fall of the face of this earth and land in a black hole and spin around in circles, and even thought i was hitting rocks and as much as the pain is and as much as it hurts i wouldnt make a sounds, i would just deal with it. that was my analogy to katherine. that (im sure) is what every kid goes through, no kid has the perfect life because aventually he will get board with it.im living life, one maybe two days at a time, nothing else. no more no less. i feel like life is just a waste of time. why do we have it why do we need it? is it giving to us just to waste our time, or to waste everyone elses time? i mean if life is such a wonderfull gift then why do i hate it so much?....are people liers? do they just say "your life will get better" just so you wont go insane or do something crazy? or do people actually care? if i were to die tomorrow would you miss me, would you care, or would you take it as being a strangers death? are there really people out there who have no heart and no feelings and all they want to do is hurt you? why!? that is one questien i am dieing to know the answear for? why do poeple love to see you in pain and love to see you in agony? does it give them pleasure? or is it they just cant help themselves? is it a diseas? should i make it one? it wouold be called the ASSHOLE diseas. no one really cares, as much as they say they do, they relly dont. its whatever pleases them and if it doesnt then its no good, no good at all. so next time you give advice to someone maybe a friend, a familly member or even yourself think about what you are saying because life isnt prett its a dull, horrible, smack in the face world that we think is perfect and the world that we live in.
-sabby-
best friend means i pull the triger, best friend means you get what you deserve.

living a death...
living is a stronge word...because you can live and be a nerd...people judge you on what you wear, on what you look like and how you do your hair, when someone walks bye you and sees you dressed in a certain way,they will laugh and talk about you all day. people are different and many are the same, but the truth is, its all just a game, where nobody wins and nobody losses, and when yu ask someone to be different he refusses. because if he had his own mind then he would be laughed at and be a loner, but at least hes not like everyone else, beause everyone else is a stoner.so when you get dressed in the morning and do your hair to, remember that everyone is different, and hopefully everyone will get a clue.--sabby

gifts arent that important
its that time of year when every1 goes frantic and buyall of their friends and familly gifts. when one of ur friends is getting you a present all they ask you is WHAT DO YOU WANT...as if they care and as if they are actually going to get you what you want... and most peoples wish list is in their head and all the stuff they want is probably expensive..the whole idea is dumb but w/e. i dont care it will be over soon. im out like an eskimo in florida sabby

MAYBE ONE DAY?
MAYBE ONE DAY..IT CAN MEAN SO MANY THINGS! i mean i was talking to HIM and i said maybe one day, if you break up with her and he was like huh i dont get it..b ut to someone else they would think maybe one day we could give it a try ad go out?i mean he thinks we are to goode of friends, which is BULLSHIT and also that5 he doesnt want a g/fr yet h goes out and gtets ne!? i dont get it! o but when i went to ne york to see maqh brothe3 i saw the hottest kid in the world! icall him cute kid!i wat him! woah! im getting excited just thinking aboiut hiim! lol ahah i didnt know alll mah frends missed me as much as they did! it was flattering! i missed all of the4m bu ihad alopte of fun seeing mah brother so..it was worth missing school! lol i just hope mah brother can keep his sobriaty and not relaps, and i can wait til i go to high school cause then i will leave all the crapy kids at mah school( except for teh aception of some\\) im going to go to lil prep school and start an new trend there, wher no kids cdan cop-y and say it as there style caus at odyssey we have so many p0osers its horrible! i hate it! alrighty im out im go0i8ng to go watch cte kid lol kat! x0x0 sabby

words cannot explain
didn't you think i would cry, seeing you with her just makes me want to die, the pain i felt and still feel, i don't want to believe that its real, but the worst part bout this whole mess, is you thought i could deal with it, nonetheless, but guess what your wrong and i just want you to know, even thought my pain doesn't show, it breaks my heart, just to know that it kills me to breath you in, but when IM over you IM the one who will win ... you hurt me and i regret that we met, because knowing you has shown me how life is, and know IM set,..but i don't think iv ever told you, that everything i know about breaking hearts iv learned from you, so then next time maybe you will get a clue?....
by:sabrina zohar

kind mad but kind not
rihgt now im mad but at the same time not....im mad because people are so mean! they make fun of me cause i wear a specific color? or cause i say something? whats up with that? if someone doesnt like something about me tey should either say it to my face or not say it at all! i ean why would someone ven want to be mean, or cruel!? i mean i understand the saying you gotta be cruel to be kind but remember in the rigt measure some poeple are to cruel?! also another thing that bug me! is when a guy knows you like him and then he goes and calls u ugly!? i mean do they know that that totaly ruins your in this case my self asteam?! its horrible hearing thast your ugly and shit!? my life would be totaly erfect if i could get HIM! i would have familly friends and HIM! iv said thisa beor and i keep repeting to myself that i will grow out of him but i dont know when!welp im out

pictures are worth 1000 words
pictures are worth a thousand words..man thats so true! i mean when i see some of the pictures i have i laugh and i think about all the different thingss they represent! and all ther fun times iv had with mah friends! and all i do is laugh even more!i mean pictures are the best thing ever invented! they caprture something that normally only happens once....but anyways....1-4-5 eian will understand what that means! lol man the funniest thing is happenin now, the song im listening to, thesinger has a lisp so u can hear it! haha i love it so much! hahah alrighty here is somthing to think about,guys want gils to look good right? i mean they dont want to see a gurl that is really ugly!so they say get ur nails done and ur hair, but i dont think they understand the time and the effert that gurls have to put into doing those things, doing ur nails is a pain in the ass and when u get fake onmes there hard to do stuff with! man i dont think they understand! lol but o well one day i will make sure they do! lol welp im out

whats up ahead?
welp right know im sitting here listening to afi..still in mah pajama..i havent taken a shower and im weaing two different typws of socks...im doing great! lol lats night i met brant, and garret ...i met brant befor but never garret...their really cool and im glad i met them...they seem really cool...but anyways today i am grounded because i had a huge fight wif mah mom...it sucks so know i cant really do anything! but i will probably have kayla come over and we will chill...yea it sounds like a shit load of fun...!And i am also planing to get mah jacket soon so i cant wait! and no im not going to say which one! cause i dont want you to know! lol! omg im also listening to the abba version of SOS and then the mad caddies version and they are soo different! Know here is the questien of the day...why do parents think grounding you will help?! i mean i have mad eit clear to my mom that it wont but they still do it?! i dopnt get it!? there so freaking dumb! and also why do parents hit their children!? the last time thta happened to me i wouldnt say a word to them for 1 week! it was hard though! lol well the shower is calling me..im out!