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cait0880
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2003 29 May :: 2.52pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Tsunami bomb
Smithtown is just full of winnners isnt it
So today there was a stupid fight between Alex and Dan. Both of which i am friends with so i dont take anyones side. Anyways it was the uglyest fight. I dont mean ugly like people gots beat i mean like it looked wrong. They didnt stay in one spot it total moved across the commons. It was slopy. Alex and Dan keeped sliping and falling. I dont really think there was a winner. But it kinda looked like Alex lost. But i would call it more fair then naming someone a winner.
So i went to math ahd that kid joe. he totla pisses me off. he was eating ice cream the teacher yelled at him. so he was like blah blah i like dicks in my ass.. blah blah i dont want to its goiing to melt. so he puts it away and i go why the fuck do you even have that. So he total screams at me like a little bitch saying why the fuck do you even care. then everyone yelled at him. the turkish kid told him that you dont talk to ladies like that. i felt oh so speical haha. i told lou to punch him cuz he is on his bus..i know he didnt but it be great if he did.
oh well thats it i need a new job soon i was going to go look todxay but no one is home so fuck it
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2003 29 May :: 11.00am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: the sound of school
i am in school haha
I am here in this stupid freakin school at my stupid 5th period class really bored so i thought id write here for no reason really. i have to write this stupid essay on my most important moment or something i remeber well. i couldnt think of anything since its all stuff i cant or will not share. all i could think of was when my friend broke her arm and i laughed at her. which realy wasnt a great momment but its the only one id share. then i thought of stuff like when kris left. maybe i can write about that. but that wouldnt work. so i though id write that my mom throw a fork at my dad and it stuck in his arm hahh but i just wrote about my friends arm braking. pretty dull...well im not going to keep writing since im in school and im just going to ramble on and on because im bored
_Cait
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2003 28 May :: 9.47pm
:: Mood: lost hope.
i know people are geting sick of reading my shit
Alright so after more thinking about my sad pathetic life. i realize that im total crazy for thinking that ill have kris back. think about it. he gets back. im soo happy. he feels bad thinks oh well she waited for me for a year so maybe i have to pretend to still love her. that works for a couple weeks maybe a month or 2 tilll he finds someone better for him good for him better then me in every single way. i let him go and im stuck alone because everyone else i could have had has forgotten about me and most of my friends are almost done with school. so im alone. and i dont want to be so negtive about this but i cant even think about it working out. it seams to far feched. i mean a year is so llong. i just want to talk to this kid so he can tell he whats is up does he love me or hate me. i remeber before he left he told me not to worry that he would still care about me. that he wouldlnt cheat. he said that he knows even if he came back and didnt like me he would fall back in love with me. it sounds like bullshit to me. i just hate it cuz kris was my 1st real boyfriend really the 1st guy who i really could just fuck around and joke with who didnt care about anything like me and had fun over anything else. who was just like me. and i dont think i can have that with alot of oother people
i really dont care for my self anymore these days and i need to stop writing about this shit cuz thats what it is shit...
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2003 27 May :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Rancid
Today was a Total boring normal day
Alright so my buss was late in the morning as usaly. but its okay cuz its was my big fat black buss driver ozzys last day, so i didnt yell or bitch at him later on cuz i was to busy saying how much id miss him haha. not really but its fun.
anyways. i went to to classes english sucked got another essay to wrote. found that mr conway follows me around now because im on his "list" oh well it didnt stop me from cuting gym.
so today was my 1st workless day. it really sucked and made me think how much i need a new job. siting on ur ass all day will get you no where but alot of sleeping cuz im really sleepy and keep falling asleep
so this weekend was pretty diffrent. it was total kris free and it felt so weird to go out have fun and not worry about finding a bathroom to snort coke in or have to worry about money for it or worry about waiting or geting in touch with the dealer it was amazing i loved it. i really miss kris and all but i dont miss the hole life style. when he gets back hopefully if he still wants me we can be together happylly and carefree and most importanly drug free
almost 2 months clean now i think
;) :) im doing pretty good that is untill i hear things about drugs. it makes me sick and stuff for real it does annd people think im pretending but im total not it makes me feel total sick. it makes me feel like empty and lifeless like how i did after a coke fix...when ur down and there is nothing left and nothing coming. know u hhave no money and no chance of geting more. a gross feeling im praying will leave me. and will never have to be felt again
_cait
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cait0880
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2003 27 May :: 3.14pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: misfits
test
Congratulations! You're Normal!
Are you a Bitch, Slut, or Stupid (for girls)?
brought to you by Quizilla
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2003 26 May :: 6.26pm
not much to tell it was fun and fancy we need to do it again cuz it was fun
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2003 26 May :: 1.52pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: big D
i am curently in a skirt
alright so im waiting for my mom to come and get me then im going to pick galler up and meeting people for fancy lunch today at fridays in the mall. pretty much everyone is dresssed up kinda nice. which is funny. i cant wait its guna be so silly
ill write all about it later.
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2003 25 May :: 9.44pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: nofx-mattersvile
today was good
lets see fingers came and got me then we headed to mayers.
lou and rios where there.
jill came. jills a cool girl i dont know why i didnt like her.
then we went to get food got jill rios and mayer food since its a mayer christmas. ya know gotta get him stuff
went to boreders
evan told me to hit him agian haha
and we are going to fancy lunch tommorow. cool right. hehe fancy dressed up lets see who is going so far
Mayer-Lou-Rios-Fingers-Evan-Rachel-Jill-Dave
and i forget who else. people should come. one time only to see me in a shirt
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2003 24 May :: 11.18pm
:: Mood: tired
tonight
lets see
i went to louis house
then we went to the mall and i left my phone in his car so we had to go get it
walked around just me and lou
went to borders. not alot of people there but still okay
went to party city
got pez. boucy balls and mirrors that say ur a princess on them and pixi sticks for louie hehe.
went to borders. saw gave ted mirror thing and his friend a ball
gave mayer a ball and evan a mirror and everyone pez cuz pez is awesome.
beat up louis. becayse all the cool kids where doing it
then evan said it be funny to hit him and then we thought in 30mins so we counted then we realized the time passed so i hit him not to hard in the face
had to run cuz mayer got maad. he pulled my hair. buts its okay
it was funny but he got mad.
got mayer a cd.
then went to sp to get picked up
over all
good night.
pez filled goodness
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2003 24 May :: 4.22pm
:: Mood: clean
:: Music: misfits
hay i like NIN so if u have anything to say abouut this test suck my dick ;)
NIN - Closer
"My whole existence is flawed..
You get me Closer to God"
You're unsatisfied with the world. You might feel
like everything is screwed up, but understand
that its a reality. This song accents these
emotions, like nails on a chalkboard.
Which Nine Inch Nails song best relates to you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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2003 24 May :: 11.43am
:: Mood: shity
stupid testes
You're depressed. Really you are. And you
definitely have a reason. You often space out
and stare at things blankly, even if you're
normally hyper and energetic. This is because
nothing really seems important anymore. You
might just be sad right now, or you might be
manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa
and stuff'll be ok.
How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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cait0880
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2003 24 May :: 8.46am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: to early
its early
i woke up thinking oh great i have to go to maryland today. but it turns out my mom doesnt feel up to it so now we arent going which means i get to stay home and have a weekend full of siting around doing nothing
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2003 23 May :: 11.28pm
tonight
so lets see.
went to louis.
rios was theere
they made ballons filled with shit and got it all over the place.
walked to mayers.
almost got hit by a car on they way. kinda like wanted to in a way just stood there and watching it stop and move away
went to mayers
lous mom said he had to me home early so he was mad
fingers came
they played i watched. fingers got better.
mayer drove lou home then we went the the mall.
got a new belly ring. misfits. got rios game hes guna pay me. got mayer shit and curry lip rings. arent i giving
galler came.
then lou got out of trouble and came back
so its was lou rios galler and fingers. that hasnt happen in forever.
so went to get them food.
then over to borders.
got a ride to mall with lou and rios.
then rios went home and i got mad at him for making fun of kris to much ;( feel a little bad cuz i hit him.
me and lou walked back to boreders. lou is stupid. haha.
saw jill and them and they where going to boreders.
got there.
went home with fingers.
thats my night.
going to marrlyland tommorow.
bye
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2003 22 May :: 6.08pm
:: Mood: Loved
:: Music: donkey punch
those kids are so sweet
so it was my last day of work. it was a very sad time. i got a million pictures that said like ill miss you so much it isnt going to be the same without u. it was so cute. they took the studs off my belt. once kid gave me flowers. it was so nice. and they made me this huge thing on the chalk bored the people who work there gave me like a bath set i was really nice. im guna miss those little kids. there good kids.. they said after care wont be the same without me. little kids sure make u feeel nice. cuz i know i suck
oh and someone gay likes to leave comments in my journal like no one loves me its mean
hey does no one love me? do u guys love me? hehehe
im taking a vote here how many people fucking hate me.
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2003 22 May :: 2.40pm
:: Mood: wet once again
:: Music: Aquabats-"theme song"
so today was school
alright nothing happen great today didnt go to math again. curry came to school. didnt do anything mean to me really. weird. so dont have school tommorow. or monday its my last day of work and last night i got them alll little goodie bags and today gave out some of the extra shit. thats pretty much my day. um in my gay cooking class me and tim where pickin out stuff and we saw fried chicken and fried chicken nuggets and my teacher is black so i want to cook them and make jello and kool-aid and watermellon and crack and be like yo this is our dinner...nigger
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