orfwashere
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2004 7 March :: 3.11pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Destruction by Definition
"Lisa Simpson; master of the double life."
I'm Lisa Simpson. I play the baritone sax and am pretty good at it, I'm a big fucking nerd, I'm smarter than my parents, I dont believe in Church, I'm the good one in the family, my talents are underappreciated and are going to waste, I hate living at home, and I lead a double life. Yes folks, I'm Lisa Simpson.
Anyways, I finished my auditions over a week ago. The rides up to Tampa and Jacksonville were nice. USF was rad. I really want to go there. I loved the campus, and all the people. JU and UNF were rather disappointing after seeing USF. On a fucking saturday afternoon, the campuses were dead. Not one student walking around, chillin, or doing anything. Were there actually any students at these schools? I don't know. The campuses weren't even half the size of USF. The only thing I liked was that UNF had an immaculate music building. My audition there sucked though. They didn't want to hear much of me playing, and Bunky got mad at me for playing a Melodic Minor with a Natural Minor descending. Bastard. My USF audition wasn't too bad, but I cant be too sure that it will give me a spot in their program. It was the best audition I did for a school I wanted to go to though. My FIU audition sucked, but fuck that school. Them and their asshole jazz director can eat me. JU was my best audition. The guy fucking loved me. The jazz director, the guitar teacher and I jammed for almost a half hour. It barely felt like an audition. I thought that was great, but the campus sucked, and the music building was old and was obviously not intended to be a music building when it was first built. It reminded me of the high school from the Wonder Years. They didn't have much to offer me other than money to cover their big private school tuition. Fuck them.
I'm still waiting to hear back from UNF and USF. I want to hear back from FIU, but just because I was told to talk to the dean of music and tell him how much of an asshole his Jazz director is. Well thats it. Pretty worthless entry. I'm done
Do you remember?
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Beagle147
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2004 29 February :: 5.39pm
:: Mood: indifferent
Not sure what to say today. I don't think it really matters, since no one is apparently reading it, but that's ok.. I went last night to see Passion of the Christ. The first thing that I'd like to say about it is that it is not antisemitic in the least. I don't know where people got that from. The only person that was directly called a Jew was Simon of Cyrene. And the only way you could take that as antisemitism is if you knew absolutely nothing about the Bible. I guess people could blame Simon of Cyrene for his death since he carried the cross? There was a part where either Pilate or Herod said "I am not a jew" but that wouldn't be antisemitic either. So the only other references that I remembered of jews was in reference to Jesus himself, calling him king of the jews. But I will say that the media making a huge deal with the violence in the movie was pretty acurate. Mind you, there was nothing there that I didn't know about from seventh and eighth grade bible class, but still, I do not want to watch the beating for a half hour. I'm not going to go into it here, just in case the non-existant people reading this have weak stomachs, but it was graphic. I had absolutely no trouble with Saving Private Ryan, and I had to close my eyes during this one. There were some weird things too. The portrayal of Satan at one point holding a child I just didn't get, but I'm gonna ask Dan about that. Other than that, it was a very powerful movie. Lots of amazing cinematography. Loved how they ended it. It was, however, entirely in Aramaic and Latin. Subtitles the whole time. Kind of annoying to read the subtitles the whole movie, but they did it in such a way that you could read the subtitles and still see who was saying what, and everything that was going on in the scene. Well done.
I have to email UPenn about visiting today. That is, I have to email them today, not visit today. I have no idea what I'm asking them, but I may be able to come up with something. I also got a letter from uf about an open house at the college of agriculture and life sciences april 10. Will has agreed to take me to that, because I hate going to those things with my parents, so that's good. I think that we're going to bring the dogs up with us too. Very exciting. It's easter weekend, so I have that friday off, so I can go up kinda early and not miss school. It'll be cool. I was considering whether a campus tour of uf would be advantageous or not. I think it would be pretty redundant though. I already know where everything is and what the campus is like and all that crap. I'll see if I feel like doing one while I'm up there.
Yesterday was foreign language fair. I didn't go, but my projet got a superior. I really was not expecting that at all. I thought maybe a good. But apparently a lot of people did really well. I know angie's declamation and gabe and jennifer's pièce got superiors. Dude, friday madame youngman was being so nice to me. It was so weird. I gave her the rules to the game in english, and she typed them up in french for me. I just sat there and stared at the paper in astonishment for a minute. It was crazy. And when I gave her the projet she was giving me all these tips for how to improve it before states. She was like you could come after school one day and I will help you work on it. We can do all this blah blah blah, etc. Crazy. She apparently likes me now. Don't know if that will be enough to raise my grade in her class though. After those two horrible quizzes. I did better than a lot of people too, and I still failed. It's insane. But no complaining about french for a while. I don't have the class till tuesday. That means that tomorrow I have all the classes I hate. I was going to read Scarlet letter this weekend, honestly, but I just...didn't. I didn't do anything this weekend except go to the movie. That means that it'll be a late night, but still. I'm so watching the Academy Awards anyway. Let's go Johnny Depp for best actor! Best acting job ever. And no, I do not find Johnny Depp attractive, but yes, he is my favorite actor. I know that's hard for some 17 year old girls to comprehend, that I can like an actor for his acting, but Captain Jack Sparrow is my favorite character ever brought to the screen. Freaking amazing.
That's all for today folks. See you all tomorrow.
3 Left their memory |
Do you remember?
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Beagle147
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2004 21 February :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: "Dancing Nancies" -Dave Matthews Band
OK, now I'm pissed off, because I even copied this journal before I hit the update entry button, and that didn't work, so I have already lost this entry once. Here's what I remember of it.
My parents were watching this movie, Before and After, while I was trying to work, and I overheard this quote that just kinda struck me. "Your whole life can change in a second, and you never even know when it's coming." I thought about that for a while while I should have been thinking about Quebec, and I thought of how true that really is. One decision, one event, one person, can change your life forever. And a lot of times, you don't know it until it's happened. There are some things that you can see coming weeks, months, even years in advance, like moving, graduation, etc. But then there are those that you cannot predict. I can't really give many examples of those, because you never know what they are or how they impacted your life until much later. Have you ever thought about one thing that happened that changed your life completely? Have you ever thought about what would have happened had it not gone that way? Where would you be? What would you be like? Could it even have changed who you have become? There's a song about that, Dancing Nancies. It's a Dave song, of course, who else? But it really makes you think about that. I'll post the lyrics below, because I know most of you have never heard it. Sidenote: Dave will be in town July 31 and August 1. I am so there. Both nights, I hope. I just need to get someone to go with, because going to concerts by yourself is no fun. This may prove difficult however, because the 31st is Warped Tour, and a majority of my friends would probably rather go to that, because they have messed up priorities. :oP In addition, the prices of Dave concerts are not cheap, and I'm one of the very few that I know of who is willing to pay $120+ to spend 2 nights listening to Dave music. Nevertheless, DMB concerts rock my socks, so the saving starts now and the tickets go on sale within the month. Just, y'know, letting everyone know. Here's Dancing Nancies, as promised. (note: the lyrics to Dave songs vary slightly depending on the CD you are listening to. This one is from the Live at Red Rocks CD, which is my second favorite version of Dancing Nancies, but the CD that has my favorite is in the car, much farther away than my cd case. Besides, I am fairly sure that I posted that version sometime in the past, around the time that I got my Some Devil CD, so I'm sure you've already read it. o.~)
Don't you ever wonder
Maybe if things had been slightly different
You could be somebody else
Don't you wonder
Maybe if you took a left turn instead of taking that right
You could be somebody different
Don't you ever wonder
Could I have been?
Don't you ever wonder
Anyone, anyone
Don't you ever wonder
Well, could I have been?
Don't you ever wonder
Anyone, anyone, anyone
Could I have been
A parking lot attendant?
Could I have been
A millionaire in Bellaire?
Well, could I have been
Lost somewhere at Red Rocks?
Could I have been
Your little sister?
Could I have been
Anyone other than me?
Could I have been
Oh, anyone other than me?
Oh, could I have been
Anyone other than me?
Could I have been
Anyone...
He stands, touch his hair, his shoes untied
Tongue gaping stare
Could I have been a magnet for money?
Could I have been anyone other than me?
Twenty-three and so tired of life
Such a shame to throw it all away
The images grow darker still
Could I have been anyone other than me?
And then I look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide
Lick and taste what's the use in worrying
What's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy
I am who I am who I am
Well, who am I?
Requesting some enlightenment
Could I have been anyone other than me
And then I'll sing and dance
I'll play for you tonight
The thrill of it all
Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes
But I'll work it out
And then I look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide
Lick and taste what's the use in worrying
What's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy
Falling out of a world of lies
Could I have been dancing nancy?
A dancing nancy
Could I have been anyone other than me?
And then I'll sing and dance
La la la
Hey, la la la
Hey, la la la
Sing and dance
La la la
Hey, la la la
Hey, la la la
Sing and dance
I'll play for you tonight
The thrill of it all
Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes
But I'll work it out
And then I look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide
Lick and taste what's the use in worrying
What's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy
(and that is why Dave songs are 9 minutes long)
3 Left their memory |
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Beagle147
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2004 21 February :: 4.35pm
:: Mood: unproductive
:: Music: "Jimi Thing" -Dave Matthews Band
I have totally wasted today. I need to get so much done, and I just am not doing anything. As soon as I finish this entry, I'm going to start either my projet or my world lit rewrite, one of the two. I stayed in bed until 4 o'clock. I wasn't necessarily sleeping, I just didn't want to get up. Well, I could have been sleeping, difficult to say whether I was thinking or dreaming. But if I was dreaming, they were uncharacteristicly disrandom dreams, so I'm just gonna stick with saying I was thinking. About what, I could not tell you. I didn't say I don't know, just that I couldn't tell you. A lot of stuff on my mind lately. I really need to go to Disney World. Mickey makes everything better. Seriously, going to Disney totally gets you atleast three weeks of...whatever you want to call it. Pixie dust. Like if I went to Disney this weekend, I'd be set till spring break. I'm just so damn busy. But it does look as though I will be going to disney the latter half of spring break. Going to Phili the first half. So there goes actually doing anything over spring break. Oh well.
Let me ask you this. Is anyone doing anything at all for their extended essay right now? Are we supposed to be researching it? I am so taking that class this summer, but I don't know exactly how much knowledge we're supposed to walk in there with. I know we need two meetings with our supervisors before May, but what are we supposed to talk to them about exactly? I didn't know that we were actually supposed to start extended essay shit this year. I thought it was more of a summer thing.
I am worrying about too many things at once. Maybe that is why I'm getting sick, or something. I really need a vacation. Actually, once this weekend is over, assuming that I will have done everything that needs to be done, I'll be pretty good. I really want the projet to be done, because foreign language fair is saturday, and I need to give this shit to her friday so she can take it there. Whatever.
That's all for now. I'll post more someday.
Do you remember?
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Beagle147
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2004 19 February :: 9.18pm
:: Mood: working
:: Music: "Good Riddance" -Green Day
Been a while since I wrote. I've been spending a majority of my free time sleeping. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I have a brain tumor. No matter how much I sleep, I'm still tired, and I've been really dizzy a lot of the time lately. Eh, oh well. The other weird thing is I've been dreaming. I sorta wrote about this before, but ...yeah, whatever.
Had a really good weekend. Lots of fun, but not nearly enough work done. I meant to write the world lit paper, but I didn't even look at it. 1000 words and an outline is due tomorrow, but I have decided not to do it. I'm going to write the whole paper over the weekend and just do it in one sitting.
ToK yesterday was really great. We were coloring illustrations to "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" and we totally regressed to Kindergarten as a class. It started when I was describing to Kevin Skeeter Valentine's clothes, and then Ben heard across the room and started talking about Doug over there. Then we all kinda went "remember that song, bangin on a trash can" and we all started singing. Then we went into "I need more allowance" by the ever-famous Beets. Then Ben started singing the Hey Dude theme song, then we both sang the Gullah Gullah island theme song. It took us a good 15 minutes to straighten out the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, only because people wouldn't listen to me. Leonardo is the blue one with the sword, people. We covered every single show from our youth, from Roundhouse to SNICK to My Brother and Me to the Angry Beavers. It was really fun.
I feel so old. A bunch of my friends, as I am now discovering, are adults. As am I, I suppose. Not legally, but you know what I mean. Others of my friends...well, let's just say it will be interesting to watch them function in society. I got a new record of college letters today in the mail. Eight. Mind you, none of them are from colleges I actually want to go to, but...it's still good I guess. I don't really think that UPenn sends out mail like that. Atleast not to people with my SAT scores. I got an email from Oberlin Conservatory. It started as follows:
Dear Lauren,
I would like to invite you to consider the possibility of continuing your music studies at Oberlin.
Since 1867 the Oberlin Conservatory of Music has been considered one of the nation's leading professional music schools.
That's when I stopped reading and started laughing.
I had more stuff to say, but I am involved in too many IM conversations right now to be able to think, and I still have mucho tarea to do, so I'm gonna wrap it up. I love how I speak in Spanish even though I'm in French. Pisses me off.
Do you remember?
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orfwashere
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2004 18 February :: 9.05am
:: Mood: nervous
:: Music: Yes
FIU Jazz audition today at three. USF on saturday, UNF and Jacksonville U the next saturday. Concert next week. Musical is comming up, and state S&E after that. Maybe state concert after that.
I've got a little too much shit on my plate. I'm getting a little overwhelmed. Maybe after my auditions, it'll be a little bit better. I'm so nervous. For most of my auditions, I'm playing two standards, a ballad, and a latin from the Aebersald books. It's not that hard; I just play the head, and improv on those chord changes once or twice. I'm just worried about my improv. When I first started to improv, it was all by ear, so I played what sounded good. But anyone can play a Bb to F change by ear. These songs that I'm playing for my auditions are legit. songs, with legit. chords and changes. Improvising them by ear doesn't work for someone at my level. I don't know enough scales to put out a decent solo on any of these songs. At the most, I can get the root, 3rd, and 7th of any chord from just looking at it, but that's not very much. Scales are what's going to kill me. I'm fine with my majors, but I dont know my natural, harmonic, and melodic minors off hand. I know how they're constructed, what they're for, and how to use them, but I just haven't worked on them enough to play them from memory. I can play them off a sheet of paper, but all that shows is that I can sightread.... yea, I'm bad at that too. Well, atleast sightreading jazz. I've played more concert music than jazz in the last year, so counting straight is really ingrained into my brain, rather than swing.
I wouldn't be so worried about my auditions if I was just going to get accepted to their music dept., but I am going for scholarships. They want to give their money to the best and most talented, or those who they think can become the best and talented. I have potential to become friggen' awesome, but right now I'm just a mediocre player.
Almost forgot to mention: I got a superior on my solo, trio, and quartet at S&E. All three are eligable for state, but we decided not to do the trio, which is the hardest and sounds the worst.
Enough for today.
-A.J.
1 Left their memory |
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plainmornings
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2004 14 February :: 11.28pm
envy me for I have been graced with the Godly sounds of Modest Mouse<3
it was soooooooo wonderful x a bagillion & a half!! Muchas gracias to Josh/Eric/Taylor/everyone else <3<3
got dumped in Miami & did the whole UM honor band thing. It went well I guess besides crappy music and bad players. The other bassoonists were cool (and cute lol) so it was all good. <3s to Chris & Eun Joo who made 2nd and 1st chairs!!
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Alfred Reed was at our concert tonight!! We all got autographs and pictures, it was obbber cool!
going to Orlando tomorrow. busy. bye.
6 Left their memory |
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plainmornings
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2004 12 February :: 3.30pm
don't we all just LOVE pretentious fucks.
6 Left their memory |
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plainmornings
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2004 12 February :: 2.13pm
Fucking christ.
i come on here for 3 fucking minutes and i swear a bazillion pop ups flashed everywhere. The quicker i Xed them out, the faster they came.
This is ridiculous.
1 Left their memory |
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Beagle147
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2004 8 February :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: I'm in pain
Yesterday was solo and ensemble. Clarinet choir got a superior, as did just about everyone else. That woodwind judge loves atlantic. She thinks our band fell from the heavens. I also went on friday to watch leah and kristen's duet, as well as Tom conducting. I can't make fun of him though, because then I'll lose points. Everyone did a great job. Superiors all around. See you all at states.
Today I decided to actually get some CAS done, so I went down to the Humane Society. I worked from like 10-5. It was fun though, because since I'm 17 I can't be a dog walker, so I have to work in the puppy pen. Yes, "have to." It was fun. Puppies are really cute. There was this little 3 month old border collie, I was so rooting for her to get a home, she was so sweet. I campaigned for her for a while with people, but none of them would take her. Then there was this one guy with his daughter who wanted to see her and he asked a lot about her. Then he told me that he had already filled out paperwork for her. I was so happy. I told him I hoped he'd get approved, and they went back into the office to check on it. Then another family came in to look at her and they left and came back like 15 minutes later all pissed off. They said she'd already been adopted by those other people. Yay! They loved her so much, she was so sweet. So then I just was holding her for like 20 minutes and I was like yay, you have a home now! And then a person came and took her to her new family and they left. I was so happy she got a home, because a lot of people can't handle border collies so they end up in shelters, but these people knew the breed and just absolutely fell in love with her. It was great. There was this other puppy there, who I affectionately named "Little Bit." He was the sweetest dog there. He sat on my lap on the floor sleeping for like an hour. He's so cute though, he's small and brindle. Although, he won't be small and brindle for very long. He'll still be brindle, but that dog's paws are freakin huge. I think he may be part bullmastiff or something. That's why I called him Little Bit. It's funny. This other dog Stella was really cute too. She's a dobie mix, real smart. She loves to play ball and stuff. She liked to sit in my lap too, although not as much as Little Bit. There was also about 10 12-week old puppies that they just found in a field somewhere. They were really cute. Oh, I so found the maternity ward. There was this husky mix who had a big litter, they were adorable. They're not ready for adoption yet, they're only 4 weeks old. They'll go quickly though. So I got a good 7 hours of CAS done, and I am so going back next time I get a chance. That's the best way to get CAS ever.
Chem test tomorrow, that should be interesting. I haven't gotten any work done this weekend at all. Friday night and yesterday afternoon were all at solo and ensemble. Last night I hung out with Leah and Tom, who had NEVER SEEN PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN! I had to fix that.. And then today I spent all day at the humane society. So it was a fun weekend, but not very productive. Tomorrow I have to study for that french essay I'm sure she's going to give us, and I have got to get my projèt done at some point. If anyone finds any random facts website about Quebec, let me know. I need trivia questions to use. That's about it. I'll update again after something interesting happens..
1 Left their memory |
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orfwashere
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2004 2 February :: 11.57pm
:: Mood: stoked
:: Music: Mingus
My first paying gig! Holy shit!
My mom picked me up when I got off work tonight at 9:30, and said I got a phone call from Addison Gilbert. That was a shock. The hardcore drum teacher with the coked up eyes called my house. Weird. I called him back to find out what he wanted. Apparently he was looking for a bari sax player, and Mr. Lerner recomended me, and spoke very highly of my playing abilities. Mr. G is the pit orchestra director for all the Olympic Heights musicals. To fill the pit, he hires professionals for the lead parts, gets the best OH kids to play the other parts, and he recruits from other schools to fill in whatever parts are left.
He asked Mr Lerner for a bari sax player, and Lerner told him I was the man. Hard-fucking-core. Olympic Heights does serious musicals. This year it is the broadway musical "Me and My Girl." He said it's about three hours long, and they use the real scripts and music, not the watered down high-school versions. He was telling me all about it, and I couldn't stop thinking like "Holy Shit." Opening night is in the beginning of March, and I'd have to go to rehersal every thursday. not a problem.
I was saying a few weeks ago about how happy I'd be to just play some good music for free, like the jazz combo Chris O'Brien was trying to set up at Pineapple Grove. Mr G. said it pays a measly $100. Holy shit, bells, whistles, and cash register cha-chings were going off in my head. My first paying gig at a professional level..... hell, my first paying gig. Wow. This post is just all incoherent babble, but I'm just really excited. I'm just suprised that Mr. Lerner thinks I'm capeable of something like this. I wouldn't have thought so, but then again, I am my hardest critic. Mr. G. was telling me all abotu when Kevin Blum played with his orchestra 2 years ago, and how great he thought it was. Oh man. This is a new level for me. Nice. I'm done.
4 Left their memory |
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Beagle147
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2004 2 February :: 10.06pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: "Dodo" -Dave Matthews
This is going to be an uber-short entry. Just something I had to get down. Something weird happened...Saturday night? I dont really remember what night it was, but I woke up and remembered a dream. Now, this might not sound weird to a lot of you out in woohu-land, but I have not remembered a dream for about 11 years. I guess I'm just a heavy sleeper, or something. The weird thing about this dream was that it wasn't all weird and dream-like. It wasn't the boogeyman chasing me or whatever the hell you want to think of in dreams. It hit a little too close to home. Well, I guess that makes sense, being as it is in my head and all, it just struck me by surprise, caught me a bit off guard. I'm not really going to go into details of what it was, mostly because there's like one person who would understand it at all, but it was a sort of counter factual history of my life. Remember that counter factual history was way way back in hall's class when we talked about that article "Was America A Mistake" and it was like if Colombus had not discovered America and you draw it out all the way to like World War II, or something like that. It was kind of like at a crucial point in my life, this is what would have happened had it gone the other way. Don't worry guys, it makes sense in my head. Maybe that's why it's so weird, because it makes sense. Dreams aren't supposed to make sense. Damn, where's Amanda with my psych interpretation.. o.~
Although, you know what despair.com says... Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.
Oh, my bad, different kind of dream.
I just finished my second ToK essay. It's really weird. I think maybe I should have taken Gabe's advice and smoked pot before I wrote it. That's apparently the best way to get into the ToK vibe. Wouldn't surprise me. But my essay stretches a little to actually answer the question. I kind of went off in a tangent and let myself go. But that's what we do in class, and she encourages it, so I figured it'd be okay to go off a little in my essay. We'll see when I get it back, I guess..
I've not a whole lot else to say. I did not mean to be sitting here typing this for this long, as I still have to do my chemistry homework, take a shower, and maybe perhaps someday get to bed. I slept all friggin weekend and am still exhausted. This is starting to concern me. : \
I found out that even though working at family fun day doesn't count for CAS (damn them and their religion rules) it still can count for NHS. So now all I have to do is actually tutor, and I'm good for that. SHF, on the other hand... I really need to get crackin on this projet thing. I've decided to do a board game, but have no idea how to do so. If anyone knows anything about board games and/or Quebec, please lemme know ASAP.
I have a test tomorrow in Music Appreciation over at PBCC. It shouldn't prove to be too difficult, although I have not studied at all. I'll bring my notes to school tomorrow so I have something to do in chem. That is one boring class. I'll tell ya, I have no idea how I stay awake on even days. I go precalc, english, chem, ToK. Then again, I don't remember the last even day I did stay awake, so forget that.
Ok, I'm gonna check out. This is not as uber-short as I had anticipated it being, but hey, now you have something to do instead of homework. Later.
3 Left their memory |
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orfwashere
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2004 31 January :: 12.12am
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Catch 22
I forgot to mention. I got a car. Finally.
It's a 1984 Chevy Monte Carlo, Luxury Coupe with a 305 V8. It sounds sweet, but its really an old piece of shit with 150k miles on it that needs work; but I'm still stoked to have a car. When they made them in 84, there was the Luxury, or the SS. The SS has the same engine, just bored out to be a 350, and also has a cooler front end and rear bumper. I'm probably gonna go to the junkyard to get an SS front end and rear bumper to make it look better and then paint it to match. The Luxury model is the same basic car, but with the front end, it looks like an old grandma car..... a fast fucking granny car. When I get done with it and am ready to take it on the road (April 10th, hint hint), it's gonna be one bad motha fucka. Paint job, new wheels, white walls, rockin system, SS parts, flowmasters. Oh snap!
2 Left their memory |
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Beagle147
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2004 30 January :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: Still not quite 100%
:: Music: "So Much For The Afterglow" -Everclear
Not much to write about, really. I've had an okay week. Monday I went to school, I think. I don't really remember. Tuesday I felt like crap so I skipped school. I woke up at 3:20. I was still a little tired from being up till 4 sunday morning I guess. Yeah, so I was still feeling crappy on wednesday, but dammit, I paid 10 bucks to go on that field trip. It was interesting though. I was kicking ass in asshole on the bus until krystle stopped playing. Then I lost a bunch. Then we got off and went to the rehearsal. It was pretty boring, and Michael Tilson Thomas is, um, interesting.. After the rehearsal we were just kinda set loose on three blocks of south beach. That was fun. We grabbed lunch at a pizza place and got some gellatto. We were in this other store thing and we saw Michael Tilson Thomas in there. Leah said hi, and then he just kind of stared at us and left. We told mr. Lerner afterwards and he's just like "Yeah, he's got issues." There was also this really hot guy who played triangle in the new world symphony, but then we found out as we were leaving that he smoked, a total turnoff. So that kinda ended that. The tympanist that they had was FREAKING AWESOME!! I have never seen anyone like that. Crazy. Yesterday was a half day. I went to school, came home, slept, then worked from 7 to 12:30 and went to bed. Today was about as interesting as yesterday so far. Tomorrow is family fun day. I'm working, for a reason I have still not figured out, since it doesnt count for CAS hours. Atleast, as Tom said, I'm not going to hell, because this has to count for something. So someone please show up at family fun day so I'm not so bored. I'll try to post again tomorrow with fun-filled shit about that. Later.
Everything's different
My head in the clouds
I hit this corner
With my foot on the gas
I started sliding
I lose it
Everything's different
Just like that.
Oh my God
Wait and see
What will soon become of me
Frozen heart
Screaming wheels
Does that screaming come from me?
I'm dizzy from all this spinning..
1 Left their memory |
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orfwashere
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2004 29 January :: 10.02pm
:: Mood: awkwardly depressed
:: Music: GG-GG-G-G-G-unit!
"For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!"
Hmm. What's new in my life? Same old shit, but not really.
I've gotten a lot better, and much more used to playing the bari sax. That is a major plus. I’m considering playing it for my college auditions in place of my alto. I sound awesome, well awesome for someone at my level, on alto, but I think I might just impress some people with my bari sax skills. Who knows? This year is my first time ever doing solo and ensemble. I’m really excited. I've got a bari sax solo that is coming along nicely; better than I had expected. I'm playing bari in a quartet that it doing a decent job at staying together, and I'm also in an alto trio, that is, well... a trio. It really needs help, but it sure is fun to play. I'm really starting to enjoy and love playing my saxophones. I'm at the point where I can't imagine life without them. If somebody ever causes me to lose my hands or fingers, they're getting a bullet to the head. Fa sho'
I also got accepted to three more schools. I went to guidance to send my transcripts out to FSU, USF, UNF, FIU, and FAU. It turns out that UNF already requested my transcripts, so they didn't have to be sent out. I didn't know they could, or would do that. I got an acceptance letter from them yesterday. I got my acceptance letter from USF the day I sent them my transcripts. The mail usually takes two days or so, meaning that they made their acceptance decision solely on my application and my SAT scores that I sent. Scary Shit. FIU accepted me too, but their admissions department is pretty worthless, so they get a student to call and congratulate me first, and then send the letter a week later. at least USF called me the day I got the letter. I still haven't applied to FSU, or Jacksonville University. I have a feeling that JU is exactly like Lynn University. Their jazz director called me at 9:30 on a thursday night a few weeks ago to ask me if I was going to audition. Apparently there are only about 2,500 students at JU. There's that many at Atlantic, and also Lynn. That makes me figure that it's a small shitty campus. But it's a plus because there's more privatized instruction, and also it’s close to the beach, unlike USF in Tampa and FSU in Talahassee(sp). Young Harris College also called me tonight to ask if I was interested. I politely told the girl that I wasn't, but she kept asking me questions about my major, and where I applied. I wanted to hang up, but she was being so nice to me that I couldn't bring myself to do it. I told her about my career plans, and she mentioned something about God's plan for me. She also told me to pray that things work out or something. I was really tempted to tell her that I'm an atheist, but she was just too nice. I can't do that. I'm not ever sure that I'm an atheist. I don't know what I am. I just prefer not to think about it now. As for now, I don't believe in much, I don't pray, I don't go to church, and I am happy. Maybe when I turn 40, I'll have some crazy epiphany and change my ways, but until then I'll stay very unreligious. I also tried Xanex. No, not on prescription, just because it's fun. Really fun. But I'm done with stupid shit like that. Alcohol is my limit. No pot, no bars, no more recreational mind altering substances that aren't alcohol. So there! Take that illegal drug market. Boo yah!
Wow, that was the first time I've ever said Boo yah! Weird.
But on to what that last paragraph should have said: I've been infatuated with the same girl since freshman year. I can't get her out of my mind. I think about her all the time.... and get depressed. I had a dream about her a month ago, where she wouldn't talk to me and completely ignored me. I guess dreams imitate life, because she never wants to talk to me, or see me again. I get what I deserve. I've been single for almost a year and a half. I think the only times in high school that I've been happy were when I wasn't single. Those were also the times when I was the least shy. I had one or two chances in that time to become not-single, but they weren't the right ones. I don't know. I think I just can't meet the right girl. I met this girl Adelia in my chorus class. Oops, almost forgot to mention, I'm in chorus now. Yes, that's right: 3 band classes and one chorus class. I'm a pimp. But back to that girl I met; people say she’s weird, but I think she's cool. She flirts a lot, but I can't tell if that's just because she's interested, or if she's just one of those girls that flirts with every guy in the world. Oh well. Hopefully my next entry will be more positive. I have such a negative outlook on life. That's why I never smile. I think that's also why I don't update often. I don't want to look back on these years from now and see only the bad things.
So that's it for now. Foreverly yours,
A.J.
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