fly defiant

fly defiant

:: 2017 15 December :: 10.00am

I saw Star Wars last night. There are sooo many things I want to say but no one to talk to about it.

Without ruining it I'll say I enjoyed Adam Driver's acting most of all.

4 Nachrichten | und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 3 December :: 12.58am

You insist I stay home when you go out to have fun

Makes me feel like I'm the secret

und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 2 December :: 9.48am

when the puzzle is made of squares and you are a hideously deformed circle piece

und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 30 November :: 12.06am

the warm embrace of a friend

3 Nachrichten | und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 28 November :: 12.50am

Please don't make it 3

und was sagst du dazu?

goodbye

:: 2017 24 November :: 5.26pm

I had a beautiful day with a beautiful friend, teacher, and mentor. It's been pretty shitty since I got here, but mostly that was fabricated in my head. I love my family and friends. I love that I can count on them for support.

I never needed to come home. I just thought I wanted to. I think I'll do fine here... I just have to change my mindset from feeling like a teenager in my parents' place to feeling like an adult who is still in charge of her own destiny.

There was nothing causing this to happen. I didn't fall on hard times. I was never forced to do anything. I could have stayed there far longer. I could have probably got on the management track. But honestly, I think regrouping and deciding on a different course, one I will enjoy more, is going to be far better for me in the long-run.

There was no doubt, but just to reiterate, I'll be okay.

und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 23 November :: 10.52pm

I try to be sweet and loving and caring and helpful and yet I ALWAYS manage to ruin the night by being a psychotic bitch

Im not made to live on this planet. Im not made to love other humans. Im just worthless. A sack of shit. A piece of useless garbage.

Same as I always have been same as I always will be. You can't change the core of a person, only the nuances surrounding them. I give up.

und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 22 November :: 12.14am

I just want a stupid smoke

But no lighter no matches no flint stone

No nothing

>:(

und was sagst du dazu?

goodbye

:: 2017 16 November :: 9.02pm

I do feel like I've accomplished alot there. I showed that I can swim when the tide gets rough.

und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 16 November :: 6.53am

My least favorite way to be woken up is by phone call

und was sagst du dazu?

goodbye

:: 2017 11 November :: 11.57am
:: Mood: defeated

Same as it ever was.

2 Nachrichten | und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 6 November :: 3.08pm

I hope it still hurts

The hole I made in your heart the day I left

und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 1 November :: 2.07pm

So so tired of existing

und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 31 October :: 10.35pm

Sometimes you make me wish I could disappear

It not that I don't listen to you because I do, I just have a hard time piecing things together about people

Maybe it's just me being selfish maybe I feel like you never listen to me either

Maybe nothing really matters and everything is just a big old fucking waste of time we all end up dead anyway

und was sagst du dazu?

godessalthena

:: 2017 30 October :: 2.13pm

i hate that you love them so much. the stories related to me don't inspire trust or confidence and i find myself reaching to make connections that aren't there.

where does this loyalty come from?
why are these drug addicts so important?

but there's no way to talk to you about it. and there's no way to express my feelings without sounding like a dumb jealous cunt.

but i can't see their value in your mind, i can't even see their value to society.

but they are probably right. i suck. i'm fat and ugly and stupid. a waste of time. just like they are to me.

und was sagst du dazu?