godessalthena
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2021 29 August :: 12.45pm
:: Music: sleep
an open letter to the people in my life
spinning in place, hurdling thru eternity, being painfully aware of the absurdity of life, and consciousness..
I'm thankful I'm on my journey with the people I am. even if we haven't actually met. it means so much that you all joined me at one time or another. if you're still with me or we've had to say good bye... you changed my course, and I'm grateful we touched each other in some way.
life is so precious, and fleeting, and absurd, painful, frustrating, beautiful, ephemeral... I know I'm ungrateful and thankless often, but I do appreciate the little time I had on this planet, and all the people who have made it possible.
sincerely - thank you
1 Nachricht |
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 2 August :: 10.49am
things can't be perfect all the time, that I know.
I will not say one word, I'll just hang around... I won't annoy you at all. when you move out I'll stay until I'm thrown away . but then it won't matter.
sometimes we just have to let some things go.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 2 August :: 6.43am
all my dreams are dead.
I'll never afford a nice house, or a yard.
I'll never have that high paying job that will grant me a lil financial independence.
I'll never achieve anything.
this world is beyond fucked, and everyone has their heads in the sand.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 15 July :: 12.12pm
broke my first bone today... in my right foot. being a clumsy dumbass.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 11 July :: 8.05am
when you can't shake the feeling that you're a stranger in your own body
unrecognizable feelings and ideas, who am I, what am I doing. in the immense weights and hopeless nights.
the absolute absurdity of life, emotions, memory... ultimately we are all forgotten, like we never existed.. consumes me every waking moment. I see all the colors, but I don't even know if I'm seeing them right
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 10 July :: 8.36am
it's been a year since his dad passed away.. time fucking flies and drags at the same time. this is going to be a rough day...
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 26 June :: 4.21pm
when your ex's oldest brother passed away before he's 35.... what do you even say?
my heart is broken.. fucking what the fuck
1 Nachricht |
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 12 June :: 1.42am
I hate when a bunch of drunk assholes show up at 1am and start shouting in my home while I'm trying to sleep.
no I don't want to come out there and talk to drunk people who won't remember the convo tomorrow.
I went to bed TO FUCKING SLEEP
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 4 June :: 6.43am
"When it feels scary to jump, that's exactly when you jump. Otherwise you end up staying the same place your whole life. And that I can't do."
- j c chandor
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 21 May :: 8.47am
I hate that feeling of being needed, but taken for granted.
like y'all don't really need me despite how much I do for you.
and I'm left holding that short straw in our life dingy, the next to give my body for nourishment. and unlike the plane crash in the Andes, there is no gratitude. just more fucking trash.
I'm sinking to the bottom, and as I look up to the fading light, I can see the last starlight I'll ever see, into the crushing depths. to feed the bottom dwellers or maybe just feed some scavengers.
and just never be found or thought of again.
I am dead inside
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 20 May :: 7.22am
"you just seemed so honest, but sexy"
is honesty not normally a sexy trait...? oh craigslist you confuse the heck out of me haha
1 Nachricht |
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 11 May :: 8.28am
this extreme tiredness doesn't seem to want to leave
but I'm so damn tired
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 6 May :: 9.35am
everyone I love seems to be drowning in alcohol
and they are too drunk to admit they need to change anything
and literally every serious topic is a joke
please just stop lying to me...
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 17 April :: 9.46pm
had a really good birthday, just feeling pretty good about life when not looking at the parts I don't like.
it's going to be hard going back to work on Monday...
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 3 April :: 10.44am
when you realize you've become a shallow dish of the great lake you once we're
drying up like a river in california
molecule by molecule you've been dissapating into thin air
and everyone can see straight through you and none of them like what they see
vacuous space where a heart used to be, cold fingers, clammy hands, glass eyes and plastic beads for stuffing
you become one with the icy artic winds blowing over this fucked up landscape. a numbess enters you, fixing to your very core. labored breathing and far away eyes, trying to capture the warmth from you nostalgia.
just another deep emptiness of a human. wasting polluted air, generating more filth and trash. a creature so utterly lost from their home, trapped in artificial mazes of their own creation. dizzying and pointless, their minds grasping at foolish ideas of gods and cosmic flow.
when we all truly know what we come from and what we return to... endless quiet nothing. no sun, no water, no breeze or bushy trees bowing in the wind. just the end. the nothing. the nowhere. the deepest sleep.
und was sagst du dazu?
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