godessalthena
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2021 3 April :: 10.44am
when you realize you've become a shallow dish of the great lake you once we're
drying up like a river in california
molecule by molecule you've been dissapating into thin air
and everyone can see straight through you and none of them like what they see
vacuous space where a heart used to be, cold fingers, clammy hands, glass eyes and plastic beads for stuffing
you become one with the icy artic winds blowing over this fucked up landscape. a numbess enters you, fixing to your very core. labored breathing and far away eyes, trying to capture the warmth from you nostalgia.
just another deep emptiness of a human. wasting polluted air, generating more filth and trash. a creature so utterly lost from their home, trapped in artificial mazes of their own creation. dizzying and pointless, their minds grasping at foolish ideas of gods and cosmic flow.
when we all truly know what we come from and what we return to... endless quiet nothing. no sun, no water, no breeze or bushy trees bowing in the wind. just the end. the nothing. the nowhere. the deepest sleep.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 30 March :: 6.56am
so excited for birthday plans I could explode!
visit em in seattle
go to the actual ocean
staying in a fancy condo
sushi with the bestie
a whole week and change off work
oh I forgot... and getting some ink done
and the dogs are getting groomed
ahhh cannot wait
ugh so so ready for a break
1 Nachricht |
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 23 March :: 9.02am
sometimes I worry I'm broken
cuz I can't cry anymore
1 Nachricht |
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 25 February :: 6.32am
next month is unofficially 11 years with my employer.
11 years of misery, but I'm still here.
1 Nachricht |
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 21 February :: 12.19pm
I'm just so BORED
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 9 February :: 7.48am
I hate when shows are cancelled with no resolution
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 1 February :: 8.13am
:: Mood: crushed
had to quit d&d because someone was being paranoid that I was trying to get him killed and fucking tried at me for how I play the game.
if it was the first time is be like whatever, even if it was the 3rd time, but this shit has been going on at least a year and I'm fucking over it.
I'm not really used to people hating me like that for no reason. I'm not great at the game, the rules are convoluted and boring, I just wanted to role play. but I couldn't even do that without someone always talking over me.
just like in my real life. I'm so fucking boring people can't even wait until I'm done talking before they start their own story.
I'm so boring even my bf constantly ditches me.
I'm literally the most boring doormat. you just want me money and my effort, you don't want ME.
it feels like no one wants me.
rejected toy painted with lead paint
repugnant petulant
MUNDANE, MOROSE, TEDIOUS, DULL, DISAPPOINTING, CHUCKLEHEAD dumb ass bitch.
I hate every day.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 29 January :: 11.47pm
had to quit d&d
I'm bummed
but I'm done wasting my precious time off dealing with that asshat.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 27 January :: 8.25am
in my freshman year in college I had a lot of feminine issues and saw SEVERAL doctors
but the one I remember the most was the one that handed me a mirror and let me watch the exam and told me what I was looking at.
that woman made a fundamental difference to my life, and I wish I could thank her. I hope she's alive and well and doing well.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 22 January :: 1.19pm
I'm starting to feel like there are only like 5 people who would call me a friend.
the rest are just people I interact with occasionally, for 5 years, we can't be friends.
I just can't fucking make friends.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 19 January :: 8.31am
:: Music: smashmouth Lord help me
smashmouth and cake always remind me of better times. I've been looking back more and more at my experiences, and I feel myself slipping away into a lethal kind of nostalgia.
I miss the friends I used to have.
I miss giving a strong impression of a sense of self.
I miss having fun.
All I really want are more people I can laugh until I cry with.
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 13 January :: 3.16pm
what ever happened to ska?
remember the mickey avalon concert where we met?
and that birthday party. all those birthday parties.
I miss you friend, I wonder where you disappeared to, why you ghosted me, and if you're still doing alright.
I hope things are good for you. you deserve the best
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 12 January :: 6.10am
regret is a deep rabid river, constantly trying to pull you under
und was sagst du dazu?
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godessalthena
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2021 2 January :: 11.50pm
is it just me or deep at it's core metal is really fucking dorky? have you actually ever listened to the lyrics
the guitar licks may be sick, but those words knock it out if me
und was sagst du dazu?
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