Please read all......i got a lot to get out here.....and Nate, please read the bottom especially
I am so Fucking PISSED! right now. I wanted to go to chuckie cheeses'!! I know you guys probably think im really dumb because of it but I really wanted to go dammit!! Yeah david! im gonna sit here all alone now and think about how unloved i am!! geesh!! i really am to, no one ever talks to me or mentions me in their journals.
And yeah nate, i coulda fit darnit! you just didnt want me to go! So much fer tellin me you still wanted to be my friend, you dont even talk to me anymore, when you do all you basically say is hi and then somethin suddenly comes up that you have to do or whatever. Funny how its always when i start talkin to you that you suddenly have somethin else to do. give me bullshit on still wanting to be my friend, i tried to still be your friend, but you seem to not really want that.
Sorry if i sound paranoid or whatever, I just have really low self esteem and i think im some horrible person that no one could possibly like.......Happy Birthday by the way.

Fuck, im depressed right now and i dont know why.......Would anyone really care if i were gone? Just wondering.......

And about Justin, im sorry, Its not like i dont like him. I do, i just didnt feel it, if you know what i mean. And i feel really bad but i didnt want him to get too attached before i said something. And i know how he feels......believe me i do....most of you probabaly know why. I know what its like to like someone a lot, thinking its goin well, and then they just all of a sudden break it off........
*sigh* does anyone else ever get really confused about things when theyre depressed?? Man, wouldnt life be so much better if we all had the carelessness and innocence of childhood again........those were the days, nothing got you down...for long anyway.....and if someone said somethin you didnt like, there was always someone there to make you feel better, or you could just plain not belive it.........Heh, i dont think ive wrote this much in my journal in forever.....maybe even ever....for that matter. I think im getting better at writing my thoughts down and letting it all out......im not sure tho, i still hold them in too much i think.


.......................Sorry bout up there Nate, I get like that sometimes, I have really bad mood swings too. And sometimes i get really paranoid and jump to conclusions.......Talk to me sometime tho......let me know what you think......I still do want to be your friend.....Maybe get to know you a bit better than i do, how you perceieve certain things and what not.....heh.....that sounds kinda wierd.....but yeah.....

2 Tigerers | Munchin'