:: 2005 18 January :: 6.58 pm
:: Mood: I'll get back up...I know.

Just a few things to say...then I'll be done.
Wherever you end up, I hope it has made you happy...I mean that.
I will never forget what was.
I'm sorry I wasn't there.


And they don't call me Phoenix for no reason. These ashes are just going to be more difficult to rise out of anew.

Though tears sting my face, this does not change me. Nothing can change me. I'll always be the same...I just hope you don't forget me. I know I won't forget you. You've been the biggest impact on my life. I'm glad I at least had the chance to know you, to have had the opportunity to say I love the greatest man ever, anywhere. (Notice the LOVE not LOVED)

:) I can cry with a smile on my face because I remember...and always will.

Run away...

:: 2005 18 January :: 5.29 pm
:: Mood: Not happy...that's it.

You know what? This shit is getting really old, really quick!
Now mind you that this applies to several things.
Now I'll be off to read something or do something worth my time, like singing, writing, drawing, whatever.
If you want me for whatever reason you may find suitable, you know how to reach me. If you don't know how, look in the profile. If you do not want me, whatever.

Run away...

:: 2005 17 January :: 6.43 pm
:: Mood: Sleepy

Update on my issues!
Okay, so, after a trip to the doctors office he has decided it's nothing too serious, but I'm going in for an echocardiogram (I have no idea if that is spelled correctly) tomorrow for futher inspection of my dysfunctional body. So the good news is, I'm not going to die. The bad news is, I become weaker by the day. Eric actually hugged me today, now he's only 120 pounds (a six foot twig), I'm 154 and it hurt.
I couldn't breathe too well today but other than that, everything was okay...except for the fact that I didn't get to talk to Adam! But hopefully we can talk soon.
By the way, sorry I didn't talk to you last night when you were on, because I did not even know you were on, I was in ten places at once. So my sincerest apologies to you. I love you.

Thank you all for your kind comments, I swear I'm not going anywhere for a while. And for those who wished I would, hahaha I'm still here! Okay, I suppose I'll stop.

:)
<3

1 Left without goodbye. | Run away...

:: 2005 16 January :: 6.24 pm
:: Mood: amused

I have issues I realize this but I have suddenly shoved myself into a happy mood again. Mainly because I'm amusing myself with my decisive reactions to whatever the cardiologist might say tomorrow.
If I'm going to die shortly, I'm going to do something stupid and dangerous. If I dont have -that- long to live but it's not really soon. I'm going to enjoy it in peace. If I am going to live a semi-healthy but longer life, I'll be somewhat pissed because then my shot at the Air Force is shit. But I'll be happy that I'm still here. If this was all just a sudden thing and I'll end up living a healthy long life, then...I don't know. Laugh at all of those who wished I would die....haha fuckers! I'm still here! Then if it requires surgery I'll be pissed because I'll be split open like a freaking steamed crab!


I'm going back to listening to Adams songs...and thinking about Adam and Bo. Have a nice day...again.

4 Left without goodbye. | Run away...

:: 2005 16 January :: 4.14 pm
:: Mood: ....don't know don't care and you don't either....

Disregard that last post...forget it. All but the last sentence, the rest, just...erase from mind and memory.

Because I just don't care anymore. If anyone wishes to lie to me, fine, whatever, you're no different than the rest of the parasitic nation of blind, mindless, drones. (don't take that personally) If you try to hide it, fine, at least I'm worth the effort.

Now since I've nothing else to dicuss, I'll be on my way. Unless you'd like to read through a pathetic little story I can make up to waste your time. Other than that, if you want me, for whatever reason, call me. If you do not have my number, then IM me, either way, I should be available.
I'll update tomorrow on the condition, someone might care.

I love you Adam!

And just as a side note, that little "parasitic, nation...blah blah blah" shit up there, just ignore it, I was venting about all of the people who have lied to me. No worries though, I don't think that about anyone I like or love. So :) have a wonderful day.
I'm done....

2 Left without goodbye. | Run away...