hmmm...
Josh is online. Hmm.... hmm.... hmm....


what should i do?

i'm thankful that the school day is done
if i was mean to anyone , or was in a bad mood when i talked to someone today, i'm sorry. I just had a very...crappy day. i wasnt my normal oh-so-happy self today. so sorry.
i cant stand josh. i think i'd even go as far to say i hate him. well, not quite, but i really dislike him. he's so inconsiderate of people and their feelings. like many guys, he says things just to get a laugh when really nothing's funny about it at all. he pissed me off last week when he was doing it to brooke and now he says something to me?! (and even erika once)i'm NOT going to put up with it. the thing that sucks is that i'm too nice to say something mean back. which most people take that for me not having a comeback, or me being a wuss. well thats not it, i just dont ENJOY being mean. i DO enjoy being nice. so thats what i try to do. i dont like being rude to people, i dont like hurting people's feelings, i dont like making fun of people, those aren't things i like to do. so even when someone is mean to me, i dont do anything back....maybe i should, but i dont. even though i'm deffinetly not BEST FRIENDS with brooke, i still will stick up for her when people are mean to her. they had no right to fake-ask her to the dance, thats just being crude. these are the things i cant deal with at school this is the reason i hate school. people are so totally and completly inconsiderate of one another and basically it just makes me sick. the fact that people can be so mean. i know that what josh said to me wasnt the meanest thing in the world, and what he said isn't the thing that bothers me the most, the thing that bothers me the most is how he can be that mean, and just sit and laugh but the good thing is, this time he was deffinetly the only one laughing, even when he tried to tell other people what he'd just said, no one found it funny except for him. at least people stuck on my side, instead of his. but seriously people, think about this, don't say dumb things , esspecially about someone else just to get laughs, or to get other people's attention or whatnot. i know what josh said to me deffinetly won't ruin my life or barely affect it, but to someone else who knows? it could.
I think that if EVERYONE was just NICE the WORLD would be a BETTER place. a LOT better. :)
anyway! here's some lyrics, sorry stef.
My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery, whichever you prefer.
------------------
ok while complaining about Josh, i need to keep in mind the things i'm thankful for today...they would be.......
1.family
2.friends
3.faith
4.people who actually ARE nice.
5.adam's friendship
ok buhbye xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxo
ps. tomorrow i go to the highschool woohoo!!!

Yeah, I got bored. I took all the quizes I could find.
I disagree with some of these but...

See what Care Bear you are.

: )
Yes, I do listen to Britney Spears on occasion. hehe. well this song is alright.
anyway. um, i went to church today. they had like the graduate thing. stef's graduation ceremony is thursday.
ugh. school is almost over. which i'm happy about but sad about at the same time. i dont like school but i like a lot of the people there. not all, but a lot. which i'll still be able to see my friends over the summer but none of the guys like the only time i'm gonna see my female friends is if i have them over or at my pool party and stuff. i wont see any of the guys. i dont like as in more than a friend really any guys from our school but i'll miss seeing them just the same. you know what i mean? and i dont know if i'm ready to go to high school yet. i guess i'll find out on wednesday.
okay...i dont know what to write about... i might get a kitten from my aunt! i'm so excited bout that! they are sooooo cute!!!!! so hopefully my mom lets me get one.
okay im gonna go now. i'm gonna ask a question so all of you HAVE to write me a comment. Are you happy that school is ending?
ok buhbye xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo:)

And as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you're making out. But as for me I wish that I was anywhere with anyone making out. .ok, not really. i just think its funny
poor danielle. she got in trouble at the last minute so now she cant go so now we arent going.]
no one writes me any comments. I think you would all be much happier if you wrote me comments. yeah really.
Heres some MORE lyrics. : )
Dashboard Confessional - Screaming Infidelities
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak, and this bottle of beast is taking me home.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets.
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.

I'm reading your note over again.
And there's not a word that I comprehend, except when you signed it "I will love you always and forever."

And as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere with anyone making out.

I'm missing your laugh, how did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending.

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets.
I am alone in my defeat - I wish I knew you were safely at home

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak, and this bottle of beast is taking me home.

And as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere with anyone making out.

Your hair, it's everywhere. Screaming infidelities, taking it's wear.
-------------------
Yeah, so. I'm talking to Charlie now. I wonder when i'm gonna see him again. poor charlie:(
ok well thats all i suppose buhbye!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox:*

nothing isn't nothing, nothing’s something that’s important to me. That's right.
Hi! whats up. i'm just waiting for danielle to get here becuz we are going to the movies. Star wars.
um.... i am so happy that we dont have school tomorrow or monday. woohoo. and wednesday i'm going to the high school! :) yay
i'm bored..... and i dont know what to write..
heres some lyrics.
So she says
"Everyone's going to the party,
won't you come if I come
with a friend for your friend?
I'd be so pleased to see you
out of the classroom wearing the smile that I'll bring you.
I was hoping to learn a few things like..
Do you do you like dishing the dirt
on the whole class &
talking the big smack &
playing the fool &
wearing all of the latest fashions
or bucking the new trends
wearing your old threads.
If you like coffee in the evening.
These are a few things that I'd like to know
that I'd like to know"

So I said...
"I've been scheduled to work but I'll call in
and my friend isn't busy
he'd be happy to join me
and maybe my friend
and your friend
will hit it off or maybe we will?"


I'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible or only the practical
or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days
just to end them with
someone you care about
and do you like making out
and long drives and brown eyes
and guys that just
don't quite fit in
yeah do you like them
So yes, I'll see you there.
----------------
ok. hehe.
one more thing. i HATE when people talk bad about Holly. esp when the same people do it and i have asked them a million times b4 not to talk about her. god it bugs the crap out of me. holly is still my friend i dont care what anyone else says. urg >:@
buhbye xoxoxo :)

***Hello***
Well. my day was....eh. in PE me and erika are still just walking on the stage for 20 minutes while everyone else plays since we were "kicked off" the lacross team. hehe. its sucks big time. but sasha walked with us so it wasnt as boring.
i'm talking to logan right now. fun fun. i wanna say something...about him but i'm not gonna , becuz i cant but i want to...ugh nevermind.
i am getting so into my sister's music. ben kweller, dashboard confessionals lol. i always hear them playing from her computer so i just sorta get hooked on it.
Dani invited me to shadow her at the high school so i get to spend a day there with her all day woohoo its gonna be so fun!!! Thanks dani. :)
i dont know what to write hmmm... i'm too tired. i cant wait until the weekend. the long weekend.
Jessie went to florida for like a week :( and i didnt even get to talk to her b4 she left. but she left a message on my answering machine it was so sweet :) esp cuz she hates leaving messages on answering machines cuz she thinks she sounds dumb hehe.
lol i think i'm in love w/ matt. :) from high school. not really but i still love him. i'm not saying which matt though. anyways its sorta a joke between me and my mom.
lalala. me and sam are actually back to being sorta best friends. thats good becuz when she was planning her whole party we werent friends and now we are again.
anyway , i got to go buhbye!!! :)

awards night
awards night was okay. i cant stand angie C. uuuuurrrrg. and no its not jealousy, becuz i wasnt expecting to get that award, i was expecting her to. i just cant stand her, i have all my classes with her except PE. anyhoo. jessie read her speech thing it was cool and they sang, i thought it might be sorta bad since they werent singing with music but it turned out to be really good.
so..........tonight was the first time i talked-as in actual words, not just computer- to logan hahaa. he wore his glasses and i said something about them to him. it gave me a sense of relief...how weird is that. ugh. i should go to bed, but no im gonna stay up and then be tired tomorrow. i only get 6 1/2 hours of sleep and mr bowers told me that people are supposed to get 8-9 hours.. oops. oh well.
i like awards night cuz i like to see who gets all dressed up and who doesnt hehe its funny. and i like the slideshow thats cool too.
as you can see this is very boring becuz i dont know what to write...sorry. but i felt i should make an entry.
oops i just got signed out of msn for some reason and i didnt even notice haha.
everyone who reads my entries should comment! Really! you should.
okay tootle-loo. hehe :) sha sha

dani got it from stef, i got it from dani.
past
first grade teacher's name: Mrs.Bouck
last words you said: to my mom- "what does your sweatshirt say?"
last song you sang: ben kweller- falling
what's in your cd player: jewel
what color socks are you wearing:blue w/ snakes
what's under your bed: boxes of old notes and socks
what time did you wake up today: 9:00 about

future
where do you want to go: Japan and california ....
what is your career going to be: urg, i really dont know hopefully something like a doctor
where are you going to live: eh.. i don't know.. pry near my parents
how many kids do you want: i don't know
what kind of car will you have:pry my sisters old one or something i dont know

current mood: eh. okay
current music: ben kweller- make it up
current taste:tostido chips and salsa
current hair: messy pony tail
current clothes: lei jeans limited too shirt and a hooded sweatshirt
current annoyance: the fact that i have school tomorrow
current smell: um nothing really, i smell like my shampoo
current longing: for no school and warm weather
current desktop picture:lightning
current favorite artist: um, like music? pry vanessa carlton
current book: The Gospel According to Larry... yes, i'm actually reading it
current colour of toenails:shiny pink
current worry: school tomorrow, my mom, friends, awards night, the dance, stuff like that current crush: eh.
current time- 6:08 pm
current wish: that my mom would stop acting like i'm so terrible and that i wouldnt be so STRESSED
current hate: school. stress.
current situation: i dunno

1. what's the story behind your username? i like penguins and i needed something to go with it, pink
2. name five of your favorite foods: mashed potatoes the chicken herb kind in a box :), french fries,um.. cereal, gummi worms, and ramen noodles. boy i'm healthy 3. have you ever had a makeover? not really, sorta one from my friends but that was just scary
4. name all members of the beatles. uh no.
5. what's the longest time you've stayed out of the country/where? i dont think i have been out of the country
6. one thing you're grateful for today? my friends, family (esp my mom) and faith

.....
Well, last night was fun I guess. not super fun but fun enough. caleb and collin were there and i'm really happy because Collin doesnt hate me anymore!! yay. lol he never really hated me alot but we used to be friends and then we started being all mean to each other. then jessie spent the night and that was fun i guess we fell asleep while watching a movie. and then this morning we decided she would do my hair b4 the band concert... bad plan. it hurt soooo bad! lol. she did it with those little rubber-bands and she like wrapped them around about 8 times ouch! and then after the concert (we sucked by the way, i think it was our worst concert-in my oppinion) i got home and tried to take them out and they would not come out and i had to cut them out and there was like 10 in all and i'm lucky i'm not bald right now. ouch!!!! i'm not gonna do that again for a while at least. hmmm.....dani dont worry about those people they suck and you are awesome ok?!
the concert was okay but we sucked and my music fell off my stand while we were playing about 8 times lol. and i was laughing about it and then i was lost. then for the next song i paperclipped it. now i'm done playing clarinet for a while woohoo. ok well i guess thats all. buhbye
ps. dani, is matt gonna be scared of me now? :)

this is whats on my mind
me and andy talked last night. it was bad. i didnt know what to say to him . i felt/feel so bad. and of course i really let it get to me. i let everything get to me way too much. i get upset about things that arent big deals in the long run.
i just dont want to go to the dance anymore. i do, but i dont. but what am i going to do now??????
i'm talking to logan now. i guess he heard about our little conversation. oh well...
it really sucked becuz last night i was really upset and went to bed at one o'clock and my mom wanted to talk but i wouldnt and so she was mad, then this morning i couldnt even sleep in. i had to go to this wedding dress show thing. ugh. oh well its done now.
hmm...the band concert is tomorrow. fun fun. next year band will be so much better. i'll have more friends and more fun esp cuz i wont have to play clarinet until concert band.
andy wrote me an email. its really nice. i still dont have a solution to my problem though.
thank you dani for your advice! :)
i guess thats all for now buhbye

hmm..
Well....Andy's the first one I told about my journal. Dani's my first official "friend" :) I was talking to Andy and he wants to go to the dance with me and I'm going with Mike. I don't know what to do, I mean I am going with Mike but it seems like Andy's gonna hate me. But you know what, the 8th grade dance is NOT the prom. They're even scaling it down more from last year, now you can wear casual stuff if you wanted. I think it will all be alright.
I get the feeling a lot that I come off as someone dumb.Like a dumb blonde, cept...I'm not blonde. A ditz I guess. I think its cuz of my sister cuz she is super-smart and I'm...eh...average. And my little sister will also be super-smart. But really, I never care about those things unless I'm thinking about how everyone else in my family is really smart. I mean I care about my grades but thats not all I care about. I just dont want to "disapoint" my parents that maybe I wont be getting a $32,000 scholarship (or whatever it is) to college. ...*sigh* oh well. Buhbye