Toki
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2004 26 July :: 1.28am
:: Mood: bored
101 Things That Make Me Go :-)..dude
1.Meeting new people and being able to talk to them
2. Talking to old people and finding you have alot in common still
3. When your phone rings and the caller ID is someone other then Home
4. The text message sound. Means people want to talk to you. Still can't stand convos through texting though...
5. Singing along and knowing every word to a really bad/old song with someone else
6. Full out laughing. Not just because you feel like you should.
7. "Tainted Love" By Softcell.
8. Limeade. 3 days old. :-)
9. Chocolate so good it just melts in your mouth
10. Looking in the mirror and thinking "wow, I'm not hideous looking"
11. Getting compliments on something you worked hard on.
12. Reading a difficult book and understanding it.
13. Watching a movie for the 30th time and still laughing/crying at it
14. The feeling that you accomplished something.
15. Late night conversations where you can talk about everything.
16. Unexpected phone calls from someone just to see what's been happening.
17. A hug when you really feel lonely
18. Putting on a warm fuzzy sweatshirt after you've been cold for a while
19. Laying down in a soft bed with a comfy down comforter after a long day
20. Making dinner 100% on your own or with a friend and eating it. And it tasting good.
21. Random unexpected compliments
22. Overhearing people talking good about you when they don't know you're there.
23. Making someone else smile
24. Making someone's day a little easier
25. The beginning of a crush..before you get crushed
26. Realizing that somehting you dreaded isn't so bad afterall.
27. Dreaming
28. Laughing until you can't breath and your stomach is sore
29. Inside jokes that you never really tire of
30. Realizing you have alot going for you, especially after some bad times, realizing how much good you have.
31. Being able to say "remember that time.." in reference to something years back.
32. Peanut butter and FLUFF sandwiches.
33. Screaming parties at tech saturdays
34. First day of crew for a show
35. Getting flowers after a show you've worked on
36. Finding out random tid-bits that you have in common with others
37. Foam. Foam. Foam.
38. Getting covered in foam and hugging people.
39. Spatulas and microwaves. :-)
40. Pillow fights
41. Stealing from contenintal breakfasts
42. Seeing a good movie
43. Sheep.
44. Being insanely creative and making people go..wow..good idea
45. Crazy stupid dancing with the friends.
46. Vernon Hills style raves at 4am
47. The Tribe
48. Waking up after a long night of sleep and feeling refreshed
49. Actually havign an appetite. Being able to look at food without getting nasuas.(sp)
50. Geeky boys..tehehe, Lol.
51. Making random lists.
52. Relaxing with the cats.
53. Long striped socks
54. My people. The people who I can lean on and who can lean on me..who will catch me if I ever fall. And vice versa.
Blah di blah. I can't think of more right now. So that is 54/101 things that make me happy. Tune in later days for 55-101. I feel like the I Love The 90's people. Woo hoo! o that reminds me...
55. I love the 70's, 80's, 90's
56. Lord Of The Rings
57. Johnny Depp
58. Going to salvation army and finding a sweet shirt for 50 cents
59. These smilies faces on the advertisment that keep smiling randomly.....
60. Getting money after working your ass off.
61. Surprising people
62. Knowing that you are loved and have somewhere to go if it gets too bad.
63. Knowing people trust you enough to confide in you.
64. Getting personal email
65. Getting anonymous comments in your journal that aren't bad. That are supportive and nice. Even though you don't know who they are, it makes your day.
66. Sitting down and reading a good book.
67. Seeing a sappy movie and that makes you cry alot
68. Playing in the summer rain
69. Sledding
70. Acting like a little kid again
71. Disney movies
72. Sporks
73. Pippin
74. Hanging out with friends and just..hanging out. Enjoying each other's company. ::nods::
75. Those rare days where nothing wrong happens and you don't even think about the bad shit. You jus tlive.
76. Flipping to a random radio station and hearing your favorite song
77. Getting positive reviews on yuor stuff on fictionpress..even though they're probably lying
78.Doing something out of the ordinary routine
79. Being right on time for something. Not too early..not too late
80. Finding this many things that make me happy.
81. Monty Python and The Holy Grail
82. Looking at the stars
83. Cheese
84. Roasted garlic
85. The soap in Jill's house
86. People randomly showing up at my house(doesnt happen ever mind you)
87. Staying the night at a friends house and staying up all night and sleeping until 3ish
88. Random walks at 6:30 am
89. Hot chocolate after freezing your ass off sledding
90. Canoeing with no idea how to steer or paddle
91. Visiting the cats at PetSmart
92. Finding money on the floor
93. Did I mention chocolate cake?
94. My kitty cats
95. Uber awesome people who are uber awesome...too many to list
96. Whenmy cell phone gets reception
97. Being short
98. Writing/drawing something and actually liking it
99. Good times.
100. EEP! :-D
101. All my dudes out there. Lol. I love you all. :-)
Maybe more, I'm tired and lazy though. Lol. Okies. Nightsss.
1 Pirate |
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Toki
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2004 26 July :: 12.27am
:: Mood: Um..
Yes. I decided sleeping is bad. So I might as well just write. Things right now are...different. I can't explain why or what, but they are. I can't even tell you how I feel about certain things anymore. I feel like a sponge and I've absorbed waay too much and I'm at the point right now where I'm just a wet soggy mess. And I need to dry out a bit before I can take in more.
It's like...a platau. Things go either up or down..then level off. Yay for endless analogies. Um. Bozo on crack. Haha. Had to add that one.
Before I go..just one big dramatic ::sigh::. we all need a good bit of dramatism in our days.
Boy oh boy. Am I a confused little person or what?
:-\
-Patrice
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Toki
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2004 25 July :: 11.56pm
Quick update of the journal. Weird weekend. Worked alot. Moon bounce yesterday. Sandy came over and it was fun. Saw Sandy and Goli and Matt sing today. They were uber awesome. Woo final 11! :-D Then I worked for two hours. Cleaned and such. Made pasta. Ate. Made a list. Only up to 35...it's getting tough. Started another book from the library. Decided I'm tired. So Sleep. Good night.
-Patroce
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mudpiegrl
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2004 23 July :: 1.45am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: fan ::zzzzz...fffffff...zzzzzz...fffff...::
Play-Doh (acutally fun-dough, but eh..)
im playing with play-doh yay!
i just wnat neil
yes.
thats all.
2 Pirates |
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toki
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2004 23 July :: 12.21am
:: Mood: Lonely
Sorries.
Um. Yes. I don't feel too good. Don't feel like going into details much. Whatever. ::shrugs:: Life will go on.
I love you all. And I'm sorry, to some of you,(well..most) for my uber-complainingness. I know it's not fun for anyone.
Bye.
-Patrice
3 Pirates |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 22 July :: 5.10pm
Paitence
Guns & Roses
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah
Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it
...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don't change but baby the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me....
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toki
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2004 22 July :: 2.26am
:: Mood: crushed
Hm. Assumptions are fun. When you find out people are two timing lying sacks of shit. I almost was in a good mood for once in about two weeks. Almost. I almost didnt cry today. Thanks. Just....wow. Wow. Screw you. Bye.
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toki
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2004 22 July :: 12.58am
So I worked today. Party. Concession. I was dying at first. Tiredness and blahness.
I'm now on a sarcasm diet. Mwahaha. Niceness/normalness..here I come.
Have fun peoples. Don't party too hard.
I should really try that sleep thing tonight. Maybe it'll work. O man. I can't wait to see. :-P My eyes burn. My skin feels oily. Because of...well..oil. Hm. Ks. Bye.
-Patrice
3 Pirates |
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toki
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2004 21 July :: 6.26pm
:: Mood: Showered
I went to the dentist today. He was a funny funny man. He asked about theatre. He knew about everything theatreish. He knew about All-state and thespians and he ASKED if I did props. He said "do you act or crew or props" and I was all "props!!" Except he had his hands in my mouth so it was muffled.
Um. Yes. I have no cavities. Woopie! And that means no s-h-o-t-s. ::shudder:: I told him I'd sneak him into the movies and told him crazy tricks to getting free popcorn and crap. I'm a bad employee. He said he wouldn't be mean about my flossing if I was nice if he came to the movie. So yeah. Lol.
So I feel sick. I have all day. Now my stomach is all...eck. And I feel like I'm gonna puke. Which isn't good for concessions. Oh well. I'll get through it. I will live. I slept for 2 hours. Didn't help the old stomach out much. We'll see what happens.
Um. Ok. I need work pants. So to the luandrey room. Adios mis amigos buenos. Si papra espanol! Pero...no. :-P
-Patrice
2 Pirates |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 21 July :: 11.48am
Everlast
What It's Like Lyrics
We've all seen the man at the liquor store beggin' for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dreadlocked and full of mange
He ask the man for what he could spare with shame in his eyes
Get a job you fuckin' slob's all he replied
[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like [X4]
Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom who said he was in love
He said don't worry about a thing baby doll I'm the man you've been dreamin' of
But three months later he said he won't date her or return her call
And she sweared god damn if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls
And then she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walkin' through the doors
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner, and they call her a whore
[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose
Then you really might know what it's like [X4]
I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
Smoked the finest green
I stroked daddies dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends
Yo, it usually depends on where you start
I knew this kid named Max
He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late at night
Liked to get shit faced
And keep pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight
Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45
Talked some shit
And wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of his pain
You know it crumbles that way
At least that's what they say when you play the game
[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it's like [X4]
To have to lose...
1 Pirate |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 21 July :: 2.15am
:: Mood: contemplative
so im going on vacation from the journal for a while.
all my entries are going to be restricted for a while...mostly becasue they'll probably be about you...yes thats right...no bullshit here
bye
1 Pirate |
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Toki
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2004 21 July :: 1.51am
I can't be online right now. I don't think. I wish my sister and her friend would just go away and let me sleep. Argh. Fuck it. Night.
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mudpiegrl
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2004 20 July :: 3.52am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: U2~where the streets have no name
all your life, you're told
"dont live to make other people happy"
unless of course, your family is like that...
thats all you know and so therefore expect others to do so too
and those who did not grow up in that atmosphere learn that if they do not make people happy, those people who grew up that way, than they go away
no one likes to piss people off.
but who actually wants to live to make everyone else happy
and so thats why im telling you
im sick of it
if i piss you off
you're going to have to deal with it; chances are you've pissed me off too..
if you arent going to tell me about it...then dont...
deal with it...and i trust you wouldnt care enough about me then...because your anger would lead to your avoidence.....and im sick of trying and i
i hate those times where you want nothing more than to just lay down and be there...
let everything go
because you know that someone doesnt want you there.
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mudpiegrl
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2004 20 July :: 2.37am
LIVE
Lightning Crashes
Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
Her placenta falls to the floor
The angel opens her eyes
The confusion sets in
Before the doctor can even close the door
Lightning crashes, an old mother dies
Her intentions fall to the floor
The angel closes her eyes
The confusion that was hers
Belongs now
To the baby down the hall
Oh now feel it, coming back again
Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
Forces pulling from the centre of the earth again
I can feel it
Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
This moment she's been waiting for
The angel opens her eyes
Pale blue coloured iris presents the circle
And puts the glory out to hide, hide
Oh now feel it, coming back again
Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
Forces pulling from the centre of the earth again
I can feel it
Barbara Lewis (1973-1993)
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mudpiegrl
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2004 20 July :: 2.04am
:: Mood: so many feelings
:: Music: "chill out and take a load off" mix
oh the words i wish i could tell you...
there are so many things im feeling...
but i couldnt type them in here
i couldnt tell them to someone
nor could i write them down
i'd want to tell you how sorry i am.....if only i knew what for...
its one of those times where i need to vent
but i couldnt possibly
im trapped in a world where i've allowed everyone else to talk so much
that they've gotten used to it
and my feelings seem to be unimportant.
and if they are important
i couldnt say them
because i only hurt people by saying them
i try so hard to make them feel okie
but then i mention things
and feel horrible
i know no one will read this
but for whatever i did...
although i didnt try to hurt you
im sorry.
3 Pirates |
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