Umm...Complaining..Probably be deleted by tomorrow neways
One may ask...patrice your away message says you're not here!! Then how are you typing in your journal?!?! For that question I can offer two responses. A) i'm magic and I can transport my thoughts from my head to the computer or the more possible option B) I'm not in a mood to talk to people right now and I know any conversation will be as follows:
Me: Hey!
You: Heya
You: Whats up/sup/hows it?/How're you?
Me: not much/nothing/not terrible
Me: You?
You: Same....::enter minor story::
Me: Lol
_End of convo_
So, I'm not talking for the sake of your sanity. You must be bored enough as it is to be home online on a Saturday night...I feel your pain dudes, so talking to me will only further add to the extreme torturious boredom you are already experiancing. Well I guess that whole speel is useless now considering dumb lil kids I meet at lake house NEVER stop iming me...::sobs:: Why oh why?!?! Anywho...

So I haven't written in here since the glorious day of xmas eve ::sense sarcasm:: Um, yeah. Since then i have been locked in my prison(house) for two days until Jackie so nicely asked me to reside at her house for the night. i accepted and my wards(parents) granted me permission to leave the house for 24 hours. Which really wasn't 24 hours, but I'm not at the point in the story yet. So I stayed at Jackie's house and I made Wender a present...an awesomely awesome golf ball....technically Bauer made it. Hehe...So yeah, he gave me a pig. Then we went to Jackie's and watched Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade which wasn't bad. The parts that I was awake during were good. Then we went upstairs and talked then slept. And she didn't make me use a sleeping bag this time. I didn't wet the bed :-) Hehe, no more pee pee Patrice.

So we woke up at noon, but I was still all...blah....Then I found a sticker someone stuck to my stomach when i was sleeping, expect not really we don't know how it got there, that said I cost 59.99, but I was orignally 120.00. I know, I'm costly....so we talked till like 1:30ish and went downstairs and had bagels with extra crunchy peanut butter. Then we were all "hmm..I'm bored...." So we called smelly fish and eventually he came over and we went out and I bought jackie's present. Which was insanely obvious...but shhhhh....I like it though.

So then my dad called and here the joyous times start. They wanted me home at 5 and it was 4:50ish and they said they were gonna pick me up and I was like...Um....I'm kinda not at jackies...I'm in the car and they FREAKED....Oh my freggin god. I'm just like...well it was a quick trip and we're just driving...so I'm told to behome at 5:30 or be at a place where I can be picked up then, so Benton drove me home then my dad calls and tells me that he wants to meet the people I'm driving with. So I rolld my eyes and said ok...cuz I'm trying not to be all pissed at him so he won't get as mad at me. So we get home and he acts all "Look at me I'm a good dad blah blah blah" then jackie and benton leave and we eat dinner....then after dinner I get the talk...::cue doom music::

So apparantly they...from an "secret source" have found out that when I sleep over at people's house i stay out late and drive around...GASP! and that I lie to them about everything and everytime i say I'm at jills....no i'm not...and the night of jorie's xmas thing...I wasn't there...oh no, Why would I tell the truth?! And Ok, I admit I do it. I stay out till my friend's curfews...but if something were to happen to me my friends parents would know and would be able to vouch for me and call my parents or what not. I mean, yeah I go against them I'll say that flatout right now. It's just because if i don't then i would be able to do nothing. Absolutly nothing. I would be able to sit in jackie's/Jill's/Jorie's/melanie's house all day. But then what would they do? it's not fair that if I'm spending the night at a friends house that my rules for being in at 10:30 have to apply to them too, so I can't be like...Noo lets stay at your house and be bored..its not fair. And i can't call my parents at 11:30 to tell them I'm going to eat or go to someone's house cuz they'd freak out. So it's like they trap me in this box and basically ask me to go against their wishes and ask me to rebel against them. I mean, ok..I have to be in at 10:30, sometimes its just a burden to get someone to take me home at 10:30...and i admit I am shelfish in that i wont ask them to take me home earlier cuz I want to be out and not at home, but that's only natural teenageness. I mean, grrrrr...so yeah. So because i "always lie" I can't have a sleepover for two months. Cuz yeah....thats gonna make me stop "lying to them"

And then at dinner I said something like "oh, when I leave home you have no control over me..." As in college and it was part of this joke story type thing i was telling, but my dad flipped and he's threatening to get that bracelet thing that tracks your kids so you'll always know where theyre at and they started question me to why i always have them call my cell phone and not my friends houses..and im like well cuz I always have it on me and you know the number better and thats kinda the point of a cell phone but if you really dont trust me, then go ahead call their parents...then the whole Its nto a trust issue thing...but wtf?!?! They told me two seconds ago they can't trust me anymore. I never could have guessed how much those words can hurt, I mean I try to be trustworthy. Yeah, I try to get away with things, but everyone does it but they freggin set themselves up for it!!!!! it's their own damn fault.

The BEST part though..wooo..made me laugh ::sense sarcasm:: Ok...So they said " i know why phelan didnt pick u as crew head, it's not cuz u missed opening night, its cuz when u say ur after school at crew, you're really out with your friends driving around and messing around and u missed too many days of crew cuz its your excuse to go galavanting off without our permission." WTF?!?!?!?! I didn't miss a DAY of crew up until they made me miss opening night!!!! I wouldn't lie about staying after for crew or theatre or band or what not. I mean, When I say I'm staying after school, I'm staying after school. So yeah, apparantly my dad dismissed me too early from the "talk' and I ran upstairs and my mom got mad cuz apparantly she had more lies to shove in my face about how awful of a kid I am.

Fuck this shit. That's what I say. I'm sick of trying for them. I'm sorry for lying to them, but they set it up for themselves. I'm sorry for staying out past curfews at friends houses, but what can I do?? I mean, I forget to call sometimes and sometimes tehre's communication errors and I forget alot...cuz I'm having funa nd I kinda forget, And I apoligize for that. But it doesnt seem like enough to make a case against me. Fuck it!!! I give up. I dont deserve freedom. I'm a terrible person and I don't deserve to live. ::nods:: sounds about right.

My ears are ringing...thats what happens when you blast your music too loud in headphones...I've always been smarter then most. I wanna write something, just my thoughts on things...but I'll do that later...you've had enough of my shit tonight. You shouldn't have even read this if you read teh subject...but I guess by posting it to this journal it means that I do want pple to read, which in that case you slipped past my wishes to my subconcious mind and have made my day. I dunno, they say misery likes company...I just feel the need to complain right now and if you wanted to read it, you did. So I'm apoligizing for being selfish and posting this, I'm gonna end up kicking myself and tomorrow deleting it, but we'll see...Just blah. I'll see you pple later maybe.

4 Pirates | X marks the spot