godessalthena
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2017 4 August :: 8.07pm
dabs drinks and r&b from the 2000s with friends
dreams really do come true
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godessalthena
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2017 4 August :: 4.47pm
life is too short
to voluntarily enslave yourself
to misery
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godessalthena
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2017 3 August :: 10.53am
today started really rough
had a mental breakdown right before my interview
hurt my back sitting on that orange couch last night
late payments and shitty IVR and customer service representatives
Now everything is squared away, i wish my belly would settle down
i really hope i get this. i need out. i'm breaking up with you, work, and it hurts me more than it'll ever hurt you.
why do you have to keep breaking my heart?
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godessalthena
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2017 2 August :: 11.46pm
why do the hide men's faces in porn?
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godessalthena
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2017 28 July :: 9.07pm
i know im not alone in the way i feel
but how many other people feel this way
how do they cope
just one foot in front of the other?
it feels that simple but is it really?
i am losing my mind but i'm terrified to make a change
i settled into quicksand and i don't know if i can claw my way out
when i started at liberty it was a shining beacon of hope. i finally made it. i finally am going to make enough money to pay my bills and see the doctors i need. 7 years later and all i see is a dark moldy ship crawling it's way along a roiling black sea cannon shells marring the hull and we are all furiously bailing the toxic water out. i cry at work.i try to be a cheerleader because everyone is so buried in misery. and we just keep bailing while our muscles tear from the ligaments and the ligaments from the bone. and they tell us to smile "it could be worse". but hell is different for different people. and i can see it in everyone's eyes the trapped feeling they have. this suffocating doe eye expression claustrobia overtaking them the paper walls are tumbling on us and we and getting lacerated in the avalanche
how do we all keep going? how has no one snapped yet?
it's just too much.
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godessalthena
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2017 28 July :: 4.15pm
my soul
l(a
le
af
fa
ll
s)
one
l
iness
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godessalthena
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2017 28 July :: 4.02pm
the mountains of pain
with roots wrapped deep
tendrils in my heart
squeeze out the joy wasted on the ground
face the fears and follies
all alone
tears stream
and i hold my own bucket
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godessalthena
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2017 27 July :: 12.55pm
liberty ain't cheap and freedom ain't free
im a millennial, blame it all on me
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godessalthena
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2017 24 July :: 3.41pm
didn't get the supervisor position i applied for.
not surprised not really disappointed just kinda meh
im ready for a new chapter im ready for a change but i'm just stuck stagnating
maybe a few more years and it'll be my time
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godessalthena
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2017 23 July :: 1.00am
i just want to give myself to love completely
but there's something holding me back
as of yet a nameless creature stalking me silently from the shadows
went to a beautiful wedding today one where i felt the desire to share my heart in front of those i fear the judgement of the most
i want to bear my heart to someone
but fear leaves me standing in shade waiting for the beast to take me
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godessalthena
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2017 20 July :: 12.28am
leaden wights pulling down on the corners of my broken heart
i harden to an icy black cold
shut down drowning the right words to say
vacuucuous hollow hole deep inside
where once was something pink and full
what is the future when you can't find a voice
hiding behind medicine enveloping conciousness
mirrors reveal a strange mystery
left thrashing furiously against the endless depth
leviathan melancholy
swallows the world whole
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godessalthena
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2017 19 July :: 11.54pm
im in a shite mood.
never ever moving to the same town as those people.
i don't think i could handle it
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godessalthena
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2017 18 July :: 10.15pm
it's hard not to feel somewhat bitter seeing everyone around you realizing your dreams while you are stuck on a hamster wheel.
i work so hard and i get nowhere
everyone around me works hard and gets to move forward
what's wrong with me
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godessalthena
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2017 16 July :: 6.01pm
i have yet to see much of a difference between america and canada! gas is sold in an odd way. people still drive like buttholes.
it's been nothing but wind and smoke since we got here.. ahhhhh feels like home!
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godessalthena
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2017 14 July :: 4.09pm
i love emily she is the best human being i know
i cannot fucking wait to visit canada for the first time!
spending 2 nights in waterton, surrounded by lakes and forests and glaciers (what's left of those)
it's going to be another epic trip! these yearly adventures are what keep me going.
adventure
thrills
daring escapes
saving princesses
slaying witches
YAS
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