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I reach for the bottle and disappear

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godessalthena

:: 2016 19 November :: 4.18am

fuck u

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 18 November :: 6.53am

it's good to be in love

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 15 November :: 7.06pm

why do my friends keep turning into abusive toxic people.

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 15 November :: 5.31pm
:: Music: modest mouse - gravity rides everything

Early, early in the morning
It pulls all on down my sore feet
I want to go back to sleep
In the motions and the things that you say
It all will fall, fall right into place
As fruit drops, flesh it sags
Everything will fall right into place
When we die some sink and some lay
But at least I don't see you float away
And on split milk, sex and weight
It all will fall, fall right into place

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 12 November :: 10.41am

puked everywhere
can't stop this stupid fucking coughing
food hates me
ran out of aleve, birth control, clean undies and clothing all on the same day out of town
i just want to roll over and give up

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 10 November :: 10.04pm

i just can't shake this anxious feeling

in my arms in my neck in my belly

i can feel the air around me decaying

i can see the rot in all living things

the entropy of the universe permeating the porous surfaces and breaking apart the sentinel stones



i can feel
what little of me
that was left
falling into dismal fear
and evaporating as the wind sweeps past

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 9 November :: 1.16am

here's to living the next four years stoned off
my ass

as to not remember the end of the world.

2 left me love | leave me love


goodbye

:: 2016 5 November :: 6.03pm

My life is pretty fucking great. What am I always complaining about?

leave me love


goodbye

:: 2016 4 November :: 10.00am

I always change my mind.

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 2 November :: 6.55am

6 days until we can watch actual news again

leave me love


goodbye

:: 2016 30 October :: 1.53pm

Couples costumes make me want to hurl.

1 left me love | leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 28 October :: 7.35pm

feels good to get some shit off my plate.

here's to hoping it helps!

leave me love


goodbye

:: 2016 27 October :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: 0 fucks

It doesn't matter if I'm holding one or looking at a picture, when a baby looks at me I have this strong desire to safely grab it and hold it to my body and encase it in my arms and just love and protect it. At times I feel like I wouldn't be a good mother or I'd regret all of the time and energy it would take, but this instinct tells me that is not true. Every time I'm with Xander I want to shower him in kisses and affection. I want to make sure he's cared for properly and not ignored or pumped full of sugar by his parents. I want to have a child so badly. I want to love someone so completely that my life finally makes sense. It definitely would be easier with the right partner but honestly, I could do it all on my own. I could. I will.


In the meantime, I want like... 3 dogs.

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 27 October :: 9.21pm

i am the biggest pot head.

i guess someone's wildest dreams came true.. maybe it was profectic?

either way i love riding the green pony. i love every single thing about it.

well.. other than the cartels..

i also love yokai watch. maybe a smidge obsessed.

i haven't crocheted in weeks. maybe that's why i'm in a slump.. but i finally have halloween plans im excited about!! and a cute costume if i can find the dress..

pizza pot pie anyone?

1 left me love | leave me love


goodbye

:: 2016 27 October :: 4.28pm
:: Music: Last Days of April: Life Companion Murphy's Law

Adults never tell kids that the best time of their lives will be childhood.
I feel deceived.

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 23 October :: 9.26am

the world is an ugly place

filled with ugly people

ugly events

ugly future

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 22 October :: 9.02am

free prostitutes

2 left me love | leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 17 October :: 4.00pm

i apparently have a huge personal problem with WASPs

maybe i should start the WASP elimination army

spread the wealth, spread the love, get rid of all those old white slave owners

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 17 October :: 2.30pm

i don't care if you've been friends with someone since childhood

he's still a hateful close minded misogynistic piece of shit

and i'm not going to pretend like he isn't for your sake

leave me love


goodbye

:: 2016 16 October :: 9.51pm

I can feel the walls closing in. They're soft but dense. They're slowly suffocating me.

I can't get out... I can't get out... I can't breathe in this. I'm going to die.

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 15 October :: 9.33am

hey now you're an all star
the only roads i know are the back roads

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 12 October :: 12.23pm

i know lots of people are smarter than me but i have this philosophy:

SO WHAT

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 12 October :: 6.39am

starting to feel a cold or something coming on

secretly, please come faster so i can stay home from work.

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 10 October :: 9.41pm

sometimes you just gotta give a lil

you gotta learn to bend so you don't break(snap)

hatreds fester with the pus of tainted grudges

fizz it out with the peroxide of a new day

leave me love


goodbye

:: 2016 8 October :: 11.05pm

Anna is always going to be my friend. She is always there for me. She may hurt my feelings sometimes unintentionally, but I know she would never do it with any malice. She always makes the effort to text when I'm away or see me when I'm home. She is fine going out or staying in or spending money or doing whatever, so long as it's with me. She only wants the best for me. She only wants my happiness.

She is what friendship means to me. I have been very fortunate to have her in my life. Best friends, the people you really want to love, will sometimes disagree with you and get into arguments with you, but they will always be there at the end of the day, in your corner, cheering you on. I have 6 of those. But she's that for me, most of all.

Friends are family you choose.

leave me love


goodbye

:: 2016 7 October :: 11.03pm

Gotta let go.

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 5 October :: 10.13pm

It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.

- George H. Lorimer

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 29 September :: 8.42am

what does the sun keep a' shining
what does the sea rush to shore
don't they know it's the end of the world
it ended when i lost your love


i wake up in the morning and i wonder
why everything's the same as it was
i can't understand no i can't understand
why everything goes on like it does





i just needed it to stop. i'm worth more than to feel like shit all the time.
no matter how shitty being alone was, being hurt by someone who loves you is worse

i really hope you can get better. i shouldn't want to change you, but if you want to be with me you have to hit my bar. harsh maybe but how else will we get what we deserve...

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 28 September :: 8.48pm

timing is everything and mine is terrible.

leave me love


godessalthena

:: 2016 28 September :: 7.36pm

breaking up

the worst feeling

anchors pulling at the pit of your stomach

you feel the weight of oblivion dragging you

into the murky impossible depths



your soul a rotting carcass in the mariana trench

1 left me love | leave me love

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