I reach for the bottle and disappear

:: 2016 15 June :: 2.43pm

is never eating again an option?

8 left me love | leave me love

:: 2016 13 June :: 11.11pm

It's true.

:: 2016 13 June :: 9.29am

when all you can see are the shattered pieces of your past present and future..

and you hope with all your heart maybe you'll find someone who can see the bigger picture..

but deep down you know you're too broken to ever really be complete again.

:: 2016 11 June :: 2.43pm

it's like a constant reminder of how broken I am..

why did so much bullshit happen to me?

why was I such a victim?

and why am I still paying for it now...

klara committed suicide last Sunday.. I can't even begin to fathom that family's pain. how they continue to survive is so deeply moving.

I could never inflict that kind of pain. as much as I hate where I've been and where I'm going, I am so terrified about what's after that this isn't so bad..

I just.. what to know why. and it's something I will never know.

it sucks when the people who have caused you the most damage are the ones who know you best...

:: 2016 8 June :: 7.18am

visited J's new digs yesterday. have to say I am extremely envious.

it's on a little lake out in Cheney. absolutely picturesque. I saw a heron, a bullocks oriel, and so many red winged black birds. I need to get some binoculars!

she has some goats living out there with her. they were the fuckin cutest. they kept staring up at us in the trailer bleating. they all have unique voices.. there's a screamer and meek one and everything in between!

we watched what about bob and pigged out on junk food. I have the biggest mosquito bite on my forehead, it gets and is making me feel kinda sick, but omg we could not stop laughing. I looked like a unicorn at first. now my face is just deformed and swollen.

going back out on Sunday, can't wait!! I missed the other side of my bestie sammich.

:: 2016 7 June :: 9.18am
:: Music: coheed & cambria

pull the trigger and the night mare stops

:: 2016 2 June :: 12.01pm

yesterday was my 6 year work anniversary.

me, Samie, Torie, Zuzu, Morgan and Juan all had sushi at sushi.com.

Juan brought me some cupcakes from a local bakery.

we went to the Monterey, it was me Torie Samie Chris and Juan, we ran into Raymond and it was a nice low key time.

today I left work early.

it's so insane. 6 years has flown by.

1 left me love | leave me love

:: 2016 28 May :: 9.27pm

there's just somethin in the way he laps my tears away

the concerned look the warm tongue

cuddles and kisses, just what the dr ordered

I love Bjorne. I wouldn't give him up. not for everything in the whole world

:: 2016 28 May :: 8.35pm

how can I trust you when I can't even trust myself

:: 2016 25 May :: 7.09am

Death, death, dying, death...

Dead.

:: 2016 24 May :: 10.01pm

Juan like my belches because they are deep and full

Ashley likes the sound of my voice because it is soothing

I reeeeeally hope Juan and I start a pod cast.

it would be how you say uh-maze

:: 2016 23 May :: 10.20am

why ARE there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?

:: 2016 21 May :: 8.24pm
:: Mood: *death*

I need to go for a walk in nature alone. Maybe that will help. When will I ever get time for that? No fucking clue.

3 left me love | leave me love

:: 2016 19 May :: 6.43pm

I haven't been in a rainstorm for a long time.
It's beautiful. It's nice to be in my car for these so I have the tin-roof sound. So calming and refreshing.