sean
i love sean so much
i want sean
i need sean
WOoT


whit

eh...you dont wanna know what happened to me...
yea so...i havent updated in forever and people should be noticing by now that i havent been at school in forever, now why is that?
lets see...i decided to slit my wrists..and unfortunately im still here...so then i just decided to fucking attack my arm and its like...all cut up and bleeding and then my mom freaked out took me to the hospital...i was in rehab...then they were cleaning my cuts...and it burned so0 bad...
eh...it was painful...and uhm...then they put alcohol on them...and now they are all puffy and just scars...so yea...its nasty, and i am ashamed.
i need to change this journal again...haha...wow im always doing that...but i think i have an idea of what its going to look like this time...
and jason and i have been together for like...3 solid weeks...thats amazing...becoz i am really weird and i still am hopelessly in love with this other guy...but no one compares to jason... i dont know what i'd do without him...i love you so0 much jason!!
yea so...im at home...and its boring, i miss my friends at holly hill...bleh...thats so pathetic... i wish i were there now... and i dont want to eat... and thats extremely weird for me... i am a big fat pig...heh. i need to talk to some people... but no ones on...GET ON PEOPLE!
also...no one comments in my journal...so LEAVE A COMMENT!
grr...whatever, ill just...write more later or whatever.

whit

...hi...
things bother me now....i feel more sad then when i went to *that place*. i think i possibly might have heard a rumor around school that i got pregnant and then because of it stabbed myself....that would mean i am dead. woo...i died...everyone thinks i am dead.
which is obviously not true...but stupid popular airheads who believe anything you throw at them dont know that.

and at that place...theyve talked about discharging me friday...i dont want to leave. i know i should be in school and all..and its not like i can stay there forever...but its so much better there, and im also afraid if i were at home all the time...and at school where i could definitely get a blade if i needed to...that i would hurt myself.
and i dont really like anyone at school...no one understands me. this guy named dr. snow is my therapist...he says....well he doesnt really say anything at all...hes just...weird. and i am seriously thinking about dying my hair black...and my friend from *that place* cut her own hair...its so spiffy lookin...i want it cut like hers...its not much different from mine now...except that its just a little shorter...and more layers. not that you people care...
but like i said, i dont want to be discharged... if i have to ill refuse to go...so my mom will have to call the police and blah blah blah...whatever, then ill have to go to the *upstairs inpatient program* how...spiffy.
i am not allowed to really say any names of the people i meet at *that place* but...i really dont care, its not like any of you know them. so yea, i wont name anyone...ill just... say *this guy* or *this girl*...or er...something..i dont know.
now my playlist has switched and im listening to tsl... i still have the pic of me and kenny kate... too bad you didnt want one with him... you guys would be so cute together...but im just weird. i seem to care a lot about other people than myself lately...and personally ...i like it better this way.
i am rambling on about nothing and i dont really care....if you have a problem with it...then why are you reading this.
today there was a game at school...when i was coming home i saw it when it started...i was actually gonna go...i wanted to go... i miss seeing people... only certain people though.

ill write more later.
byeness.

whit