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fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 15 September :: 4.25pm
:: Music: taking back sunday-you know how i do

i adore taking back sunday...all too very much.

today was good. it started out bad...but he went away so i was happy again. he as in the man i hate too much to kill...if that makes any sense...hmm nope it doesnt. well to me it does,so no need to explain myself than right...right ok im shutting up now.

heres a letter to mr.andrus..
Dear Mr.Andrus,

Take class policy number 7 and shove it up your fucking ass, you fucking fuck face.

sincerely, Stacy

*hums to self* well im off, enough with my pointless ramblings.

4 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 14 September :: 9.22pm
:: Music: mxpx-teenage politics

today was good. erika came over, we got to talk. and it was great, we rode the quad and that was so much fun, it made me kinda forget about everything..and just have fun. hitting trees and erika trying to kill us...long story with that, hehe.

anyways im still confused as fuck. i dont know what im feeling anymore. its like my emotions change so much i cant keep up with them anymore...like at the game friday, i was happy than sad than confused...so i kinda juct looked at the ground and wished i would disappear. i kept walking away, not sure where i wanted to go just away for 5 seconds just to breath i guess.

im so damn confused.

its interesting so many ppl go to me to find out about other people. it makes me feel good than at the same time, i want to scream at them for putting their problems on me also. but thats being selfish so i can deal with it. well im off.

4 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 13 September :: 3.38pm

im not so sad anymore. this is good. i just needed some reassurance(cant spell that) from some people. *looks around* ...yeah.

3 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 13 September :: 11.06am

part of the lyrcis from...Great Romances Of The 20th Century-taking back sunday

September never stays this cold
where I come from
And you know
I’m not one for complaining,
But I love the way you’d roll
excuses off the tip of your tongue
as I slowly fall apart (slowly, quietly, slowly)
fall apart

This won’t mean a thing come tomorrow
and that’s exactly how I’ll make it seem
Cause I'm still not sleeping,
thinking I’ve crawled home from worse than this

So please, please (please)
I’m running out of sympathy (I'm running out of sympathy!)
and I never said I’d take this...
I never said I'd take this lying down

3 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 13 September :: 10.51am

I am so alone. no one cares...dont pretend to when you dont. i want to just go away, i wish i could leave this damn school, yes id miss a few select people. but i wouldnt go through seeing these people everyday, and everytime i see them i want to cry. i would rather be alone than be stuck here for 3 more years.

every day it gets worse and more confusing. the people who i cared about the most, i dont give a damn about anymore. some id even wish to never see again...ever. it hurts that i truely feel this way...its sad but somewhat satisfying. im done.

i dont need your sympathy.

2 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 13 September :: 10.31am
:: Music: afi-the great dissapointment

well yesterday was good..some of the time...which would include me making a fool of myself...yeah. i am so sore from running, tackling people, etc. i guess yesterday was really confusing for me...the first part of the game and going to kellys was fun, i wasnt thinking of stuff, than reality kinda hit i guess. im so sick and tired of people. they cant accept who i am, hate people just because of how they dress, and with one fucking expierence hate the person. get over it...for your own damn good.

i hate it.

i hate that i have 2 groups of friends and no matter what i do people get pissed, they cant all just hang out together and if they want to hang out with me i have to leave the other group. i wish people would swallow up their oh so precious self pride and accept people. im so sick of people. im losing my closest friends..and for some reason i dont care, the reason i dont care is because they dont seem to care, so fuck it. i guess it is my fault im losing friends but its also their fault. i have no one I can go to anymore to actually talk to about my life. someone who wont talk about themselves...thats sad. but oh well, i seem to do well enough on my own.

blame it all on me...go ahead. i dont really care. there is no one like me. no one feels exactly as i do about everything...who i am now is actally the real me. i guess my friends just found that out, and they dont like it. well i do. its nice to actually even be honest with myself for once.

this was not to offend anyone, take it as you wish.

5 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 11 September :: 4.53pm

i dare not express the hate im feeling right now...

so im just gonna do this..

djfgdshfhdsbfbdhfbdhsbfdbsfbdshfdhfbhdfbsd

ok im done.

*ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 10 September :: 8.14pm
:: Music: The Used-blue and yellow

im in one of those sad moods...i guess because i have no reason to be happy. nothings really going right, than again nothings going wrong...it feels like every day is a waste...theres no point...i never see anyone i like to talk to, i dont understand anything in any of my classes...every day i cant wait to get home and why...to sit in my room and blast depressing songs?

i guess.

its strange, i have been having odd dreams, than the next day that thing happens...it has happened 3 times this week...or i think about someone i never do than something happens with them.....wierd.

so many thoughts running through my mind, its kind of overwhelming.

recalling a moment...walking in the hall and i see dirty chuck taylors...its interesting i now characterize people with their shoes....mmmm hmmmm.

2 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 10 September :: 5.43pm

sorry its so long, but its good..read it....i adore it all too much for it to be ignored...
Okay I believe you but my Tommy gun dont-Brand New (lyrics)

I am heaven sent. Don't you dare forget. I am all you've ever wanted. What all the other boys all promised. Sorry I told. I just needed you to know.

I think in decimals and dollars. I am the cause to all your problems. Shelter from cold. We're never alone. Coordinate brain and mouth. Then ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out...wish I knew. I hope this song starts a craze. The kind of song that ignites the airwaves. The kind of song that makes people glad to be where they are with who ever they're there with. This is war. Every line is about who I don't wanna write about anymore. I hope you come down with something they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for. Holding on to your grudge. Oh, it's so hard to
have someone to love. And keeping quiet is hard. Cause you can't keep a secret if it never was a secret to start.

At least
pretend you didn't want to get caught.

We're consentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, now throwing the fight. I just wanna believe... in us.

Oh, were so contraversial.

We are entirely smooth. We admit to the truth. We are the best at what we do. And these are the words you wish you wrote down. This is the way you wish your voice sounds. Handsome and smart. Oh, my tongue's the only muscle in my body that works harder than my heart. And it's all from watching TV. And from speeding
up my breathing. Wouldn't stop if I could. Oh, it hurts to be this good. You're holding on to your grudge. Oh, it hurts to
always have to be honest with the one that you love.

Oh, so let it go. We're consentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, now throwing the fight. I just wanna believe... We're consentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, now throwing the fight. I just wanna believe... in us.

This is the craze only we can bestow. This is the price you pay for loss of control. This is the break in the battle. This is the closest of calls. This is the reason you're alone. This is the reason you fall. We're consentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, now throwing the fight. I just wanna believe...

We're consentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, now throwing the fight. I just wanna believe... in us.

1 *ride* | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 10 September :: 5.31pm

...people and there bad moods....

*shrugs*

in other news my dream would be to marry tom from blink 182. i do adore his features *snickers

*ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 9 September :: 4.20pm

im watching Happy Gilmore...i love this part....*watches as Bob Barker kicks Adam Sandlers ass* hahahahaha.....had to share that...

do da do....my hair still smells like dye and when i wash it the water turns purple...*sigh*

potato chips and hershey chocolate taste so good together...mmmmm.....
yeah...im boring....and i apologize.

*ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 8 September :: 7.04pm

i got a new icon...its just i was random journaling (cuz i have no life) and i saw others with my tbs one...so yeah...i felt the need to explain myself.

6 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 8 September :: 6.07pm
:: Music: Sum 41-Hooch

well today was good....well not good. it was..ok.

im trying to figure out homecoming shit...gah too stressful i say, hehe. im bored and hot...gah...*screams to sky....MAKE IT COLD* hmmm....why am i screaming to the sky...anyways...

i love little skater kids, there so great...although they take all my bracelets...*sigh....wow im kinda rambling about nothing, because im BORED!!! wait...i know i can go study for the numerous pointless tests i have tomorrow...yes thats what i shall do!!!!

*amazed as to how much of a loser i really am*

*ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 7 September :: 4.32pm
:: Music: The yeah yeah yeahs-maps

well today was hmmm alright i guess....kinda boring, sundays always suck. the oh so famous dj and cj were here again, god I honestly think they live here..or atleaste they think they do. now kellys here...she had to suffer with the guys, eventually they got hungry and left.....as kelly and I cheered, hehe...

now its hot, damn weather...i would much rather be cold than hot...gah...im so bored...*sigh*

its wierd, lately im in the best mood than something happens and its as if the world shifts and i am no longer happy...i think i want/need something/someone and i dont...yet im still confused as to what exactly i need...wow you may have to read that twice to understand, i did...well i guess im just typing to type, cuz im fucking bored so yeah im just gonna go...damn sundays, i hate them.

4 *ride*s | *ride my star*


fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 6 September :: 9.38pm
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday-Head Club

well I found out everything in girls magazines is false...dj and cj told me not to listen to them hahaha....two very reliable sources...ha....riiiiight.

a conversation with my father..
Dad: I have two words for you..
Me: uhh......ok.
Dad: when youre sleeping im gonna cut your hair off
Me: dad thats not two words.
Dad: close enough

...hes so dumb...its kinda sad...heh.

3 *ride*s | *ride my star*

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