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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 7 June :: 11.20am

I was reminded this morning,
That it wasn't a dream.
I actually ripped someone's heart out...
Sheerly because I was unhappy.

I suppose it's for the best-
It'll make both of us happier in the long run.
But it hurts so fucking bad.
*sigh* What have I gotten myself into?


I'm so selfish and weak.
I can't believe myself sometimes.

John was the first guy to treat me like his everything,
And I just destroyed that,
Because I felt insecure...
With him being so far away,
And us not having means of communication at the time.

1 carrot flower | oh comely...


xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 6 June :: 8.58pm

It's one of those times.
I'm so down...
I won't be myself for a while.
And I'll go ahead and apologize in advance.

I've reached the lowest of lows.
I can't stop crying.

I guess I do love him.
And I just threw it all away.

I should've realized...
I'm not old enough to handle something like this.
I realize now.
And it hurts so bad.

oh comely...


xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 5 June :: 12.56pm

Read more..

Draw on it, fools.

2 carrot flowers | oh comely...


xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 5 June :: 10.18am
:: Mood: Tired and depressed.
:: Music: Dashboard Confessional- Again I Go Unnoticed

Another sleepless night.
I don't know how I can deal with this.
It hurts so bad...

Why can't I just...
Know what I want.
For once in my life?

1 carrot flower | oh comely...


xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 3 June :: 5.11pm

Revelations-
They're beautiful.
And they hurt so much.

I've realized, that this is not working,
For either of us.
And it hurts like hell, but I know it's not going to last.

We're both too young
To be so serious about this.
I do still love him.
But sometimes loving someone,
Isn't just being a couple.

It's doing what's best for the person,
No matter what.

Ever since he left, it's like...
There's this big, empty gap in my chest-
Gay, I know.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this,
Or what I'm going to do...
I feel nauseated.
It happens when I get really upset.

oh comely...

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