xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 30 January :: 10.45am
:: Mood: ...
:: Music: Sevendust- Broken Down
Well it's love, make it hurt.
I had some trouble getting to sleep last night. Like, worse than usual...
I was just up, thinking... I hate when that happens.
I really don't know when I'm going to get to see him, and I hate that. I miss him so much... I'm really glad that he's happy there, though.
I'm starting to think I shouldn't do the things that make me happy. I've noticed, whenever I finally get something I want, it gets taken away... It really hurts....
Anyone who sees me wouldn't know that I'm unhappy... It's really hard to hide it, but I think I've mastered it pretty well.
...And this song is going to make me cry. I hate it. It's not even a good song. Rainy Days. Ugh.
I hate being so fragile... Whenever I feel really down, I'm liable to break at any second... And I hate it.
I was having a really good dream, but Carly came and woke me up.
It's the worst feeling in the world... Waking up from a good dream..
I hate it. =/
...But, I love John.
3 carrot flowers |
oh comely...
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blackecho101
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2005 29 January :: 11.32pm
im sorry i havent updated, its been long, i have to get up at least by 6:30 in the morning so i shouldnt even be on, but yes, things are going good for me and obviously not so good for everyone else, i miss hearing danas voice so bad, omg, i could just fucking cry right now, i fucking reuened myself talking to her EVERY night, and now its like i cant sleep without her telling me she loves me... fuck... oh well, i love you dana, and im going to bed now.... headache last night, most of today, and i have it right now... tention... must be... am i cursed to find happyness at someone elses dispare my entire life?... well... nvm... message from randy from dana says stay on :-D im happy now!
2 carrot flowers |
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 28 January :: 10.46pm
:: Mood: Meh.
:: Music: Atreyu- This Flesh a Tomb.
*sigh*
Tonight was pretty good. There was only one thing missing.
It's really starting to set in... I am not going to be able to see him for a really long time. =/
I went to the mall tonight with Carly and Anna. Turns out Randy and Bryan were there, too. So, I hung out with them. Small comments such as, "Man, if John were here..." and what not really started to hit me. Blah. I love him.
I got a belt with the spinner belt buckle... And a beanie that says, "I smoke rocks." Haha.
I don't know what's wrong. It was a really good day, and now I'm just feeling so... Blah. I realized that I most likely would have seen him tonight if things were still like they used to be...
*sigh* To think I complained about not seeing him much then
=/ BLAH!
1 carrot flower |
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 27 January :: 7.17am
I love you!
Even though it's in 11 days.
"You're right! It sure is."
;D
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 26 January :: 1.36pm
:: Mood: Woo.
:: Music: People yelling. YAY BLACK PEOPLE!!
I are at school.
I'm so rebelious. Updating my journal at school. Ph33r me. Haha. Me and Dylan are sitting here messing around on the computers, and the substitute doesn't even notice. It's funny. (:
I am kind of bored. Today has gone pretty good. Three substitutes so far. But next, I have Mrs. Connors. UGH! I hate her. ;_;
I'm done for now. I'll update later!
~Zennousha
PS: I loff my wegro. (:
oh comely...
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