my cd needs to fucking burn NOW
is it bad if nobody ever comments on your life?


yes because that means it is boring/stupid/nobody cares enough.


no because that means i am perfect and there is no need for commenting.






if people do read this... what do you think?

ksljfkslfjsklfjsakldfjsaklfjisafjsakldmfksal fmsak
i love my life. i love the real people i know. i love my friends.
I FUCKING HATE SOME PEOPLE.

today was far from fun and very close to suicidal. naw. i wouldnt go that far.. i painted a ocean sunset in art. i hated it at first but hung it on my wall anyways... when i got home from a hell night at work i saw it and fell in love with it... so my conclusion. its hot. oh and i wrote ..i left my heart.. on it in red on the red part of the sunset.. and yeah it looks hot.. tomor is the AP exam.. that should really be close to suicidal... its not like im all worried cause i dont really give a fuck.. but i just dont have the attention span for it.. fucking 2 hours of writing 3 essays... yeah the word lame doesnt fucking cover it... i sound like an idiot right now cause of the overtired, annoyed, bad mood, period having, long night at work... mood im in..
after the exam me and luke are going to the beach.. im really excited cause i want to go to the ocean wickd bad... it kinda rained today and its supposed to rain on friday so it should be wickd cool at the beach.. (not to swim as some asshole thought i was saying).. i cant wait for that... and if luke ditches me i will just go alone with a book (after slitting his wrist of course)
thats it for tonight.

]*stagnancy is my only enemy*

beach
i want to go to the beach now.. i think im going thursday even if nobody comes with.. i want to be intoxicated by the waves. the air. the sand. i want to get lost in it all. actually if i end up alone.... which knowing how my plans go when i get excited, i will..... i wont be upset. ill bring a book and just get lost. im glad i can be happy alone. but yes it would be fun if someone came.. ill be happy either way. cause i am happy with me


p.s. me and danni rock... hard...

WaterProofMscara: i spelt alot of things wrong..obv it was just for an example of my ditzyness
WaterProofMscara: DERRR
R0CK my WURLD: haha im just too dum to catch on
WaterProofMscara: umm wanna get hipnotized to loose weight with me
R0CK my WURLD: lol
R0CK my WURLD: yeah
R0CK my WURLD: for free?
R0CK my WURLD: yeah
WaterProofMscara: cuz i want to wicked bad...either that or get my tape warm removed
R0CK my WURLD: for money?
R0CK my WURLD: no
R0CK my WURLD: haha
R0CK my WURLD: you have a tape worm?
WaterProofMscara: i must
WaterProofMscara: i eat like a cow
R0CK my WURLD: lol
R0CK my WURLD: thats awesome
WaterProofMscara: brian layte was the best diet i ever went on..i recommend it to everyone
R0CK my WURLD: yeah craig was good.. but i got over it too quickly
R0CK my WURLD: i need to be more of a girl
WaterProofMscara: kinda like me lol
R0CK my WURLD: yeah then i could loose weight like nothing



k not to be emo. but i dont want to feel emotion. nothing has happened lately to make me feel this way. i just dont want to. like in the future or anything. i want to be numb so that whole boy emotion stuff for a long time.. NOVICANE... just the unattached stuff would be waaay better.. like friends benefits ya know... have a "best friend, best friend with benefits" and nothing else.. oh and have an agreement... to never act like more.. haha... thats my desire for now.. but done with the emo section of the journal..

*stagnancy is my only enemy*

today.. i wish you were appreciative
today my hairs were cut.

today i realized that some friends wont live up to your expectations.. but you should still set them.. because you would do anything for them. and they say you arent a friend. or they want you out of their life.

today i realized that yes. some jokes aren't funny.

today i care if you dont care because that is being a fucking asshole. and yes you should care how you effect those who would do anything for you, because they do.

today i give you a big fuck you. because ive been thinking and i really hate the things you say sometimes.

today i hope this "new life" leads to your appreciation of your friends.

thats it for now just a quick vent.

o p.s. i am the volley ball queen

let's play make believe.....
LONG TIME NO UPDATE!


hmmm... where to start. well let's go back to boston. i have to say im in love. with the city. with my friends. with my life. i really appreciate it all. and when i sit back and think on it. i appreciate it even more. we were walking around boston and i would just let myself fall back or walk ahead. by myself. and just take in the city. the buildings. the people. the noise. and the lack there of. watching other people interact is intense. intense is my new favorite word. because thats what i want my life to be. not in the everything has to be crazy and loud etc. sense. but just meaningfull. like i want to be engulfed in moments that i live for. i was just sitting outside of a store in China town watching all these people. (and a prostitute) and thinking about what they wanted to be when they were little. if they reached their goals. or even one expectation that they had for themselves. do they ever feel butterflies? have they ever felt like all the pain was worth it? have they ever been in love? do they ever feel lust? are they just going through the motions, or do they feel? are they accomplished? are they worried about the materialistic or do things MATTER? all these people that you walk by. what are they thinking? what do they feel? and would you even care to know if you did? then the prostitute walked up and tried to get luke and chris to "buy her" i guess is what you call it she was really drunk or something like it and had a waterbottle with liquor in it. she started dancing and singing and then flashed us twice. it was crazy and funny. but then i stopped for a second and thought. even drunk and singing and dancing her eyes and her face looked soo sad. so tired. what made her choose that as her life? did she choose it in the way that others choose to be a banker or doctor or singer? why doesnt she feel she could be more? why has nobody helped her? and the saddest question.. could she even be helped? it makes me appreciate what i have, my values, my life, my parents, my fortune, my house, my upbringing, my monetary status, my opportunities all the more. she may have not even had a crumb of any of that where she started from and i have had the whole loaf and more.
on a less rambling note. so the sunday of the start of vacation ian called and said he was going to boston because the swiss (alex) was leaving monday. so i went with and we had a fun night. i did my first gravity bong. then luke held me down and forced me to continue to smoke. (well kind of). then we walked around for a bit during the day and had to get home for work. then on 4.20 me leah and sochia went out to celebrate the holiday. and we did. the next day we walked around alot. it was awesome. we went to a vietnamese place. good food. bad service. messed up we were forced into tipping because they included it in the bill. yeah we were pissed because of the bad service and such. we got our picture on lighters. yeah we are famous and shit. i saw this little boy stop like dead in a park because he wanted to roll down the big hill. and his mom let him. i was suprised. and happy. i just sat down on the curb and watched him. i think innoscence is the most taking for granted thing. because when you dont know that fucked up things go on. and you have no comparison. you cant bask in it as much as we all should. or could be lucky to. same with naivity. that goes along with something i've thinking about soo much. first i need to give the background so these doesnt seem completely unbased.
saturday night i went to see B.B.King. (which was insanely amazing) to see this 80 something year old man so incredibly passionate and enjoying and amazing at something he completely loves. it makes you sit back. he has all these physical problems and fights through them because he truely loves what he is doing. so after me and sochia went to jakes house for "jakefest '04" haha.. good time. but this kid was there and he was playing acoustic guitar and singing. and well that just makes me hott. then we went out to my car to smoke. and had the most intense conversation. we were talking about how he lived in Guam and i couldnt live without snow. and then about depriving oneself of things that you love. and if you learn to appreciate them more. and i cant stop thinking about that idea. when does one appreciate things more. basking in it? or through deprivation? and he started talking about the 7 deadly sins. and how lust, and indulgence are wrong according to them. and i dont know. i think things without appreciation could be considered "wrong" but, if you appreciate what you indulge in, or give into your lust for, what is wrong with it? things must be here for a reason. not to just sit back and watch it all go by. like a museum. we are meant to touch, feel, love, appreciate. so we talked a bunch about all that. then we were talking about our parents. and he said he never has heard his mother say an even remotely kind word to or about his father. i cant imagine that. i look at my parents and that is what i want when i get older. they not only LOVE eachother. but they are IN LOVE. you can still see passion. they have been married over 17 years. and you can see that they still feel butterflies. if i have half of that i know i will be happy. like insanely happy. the night was fun. a bunch of really cool people. and some pathetically funny ones. haha. as in the "hair girl" haha she was like all puppy dog sad because she sucked off jeff and then they came downstairs and he was a wickd dick to her... it was fucking hilarious. she asked him in this super sad voice to go outside and talk. (this was in front of a kitchen filled with people) and he was just like "NOT IT" yeah it made my night. oh and him making out with some other chic in front of the hair girl... haha.. it was really funny. other people's pain from their own stupidity is funny. yes there were many sluts there. i shot gunned a beer for the first time. that was fun. oh and i learned that giving blood is deffinately the man. why you ask. well after 4 beers i was drunk. after while being drunk and hotboxing my car with half a joint and some boy i was annialated. (spelling is probably wrong)
so im going to end this on the note that i want to visit Guam. why? because it sounds like paradise.
*stagnancy is my only enemy*

its one of those feelings
So we just went through a crazy week. rehearsal every night until thursday.. opening day of Guys and Dolls. i loved it. it was soo much fun to put on. and i became friends with sooo many people who i like never talked to before. friday night we had a "cast party" at stacy evan's house. holy shit. we had sooo much fun. the people who stayed there were me, alana tremblay, laura white, dan angel, lauren weaver, nikki murphy, joey putis (well until like 4.. a random walk out), ricky lavendure, corey alli, and stacy's boyfriend, alanza. i got really high. $36 blunt... an eighth of kb.... holy shit... plus whatev else we smoked on top of that.... lets just say that i was feeling REAL good. so the last check of the clock was t 4:30.... and then at 8:00 we were awaken.... sweet right? oh and add on to that sleeping on a couch like 4 ft long by a foot and a half wide. with somebody else... oh yeah. and its the dog's bed normally, so it smells, and the two of you are trying to use the blanket, the DOG's blanket, and you keep having hair in your mouth.. yeah not cool! then go out to breakfast and then to our first show of the day at 12... i was dragging... just a little. so the first show was 2.... eh it didnt go AWESOME.... but it went alright. then our closing show was at 8 last night.... omg.. it was ssoooo good. we did soo well. i had soo much fun.. "STUUDDDD YOUR ROCKING THE BOAT!" yeah alana corey and ricky came up with some fun songs friday night that they made the choice to sing ALL day saturday.... not fun when you are super over tired... but they thought so... haha... it was fun. last night i went to chinese with amy, laura, kelly, julia, paige, raiannne and a bunch of other people. that was fun. they i came home and slept until 12:30.. AHHH i loved it... i seriously got NO sleep since before LAST weekend...

well. i have to work at five tonight. then THE CITY CALLS.. im off to boston. with my favorite.. IAN. i love him. the swiss leaves for the homeland tomor. so we have to go spend some QUALITY time with her. that should be fun. but ian has to work at 3 tomor.. that kind of sucks... but eh whatev.... it is going to be 80 tomor.. and i am supposed to do something with sean.. humm... trying to think what to do.. but it will be fun because we havent hung out in a really long time and i miss him. he is the shit.. and i think im hanging out with jeff when he gets out of work... i want to... he's fun... i just want to be outside ALL day tomor.. ahhh i love nice weather...

but for now.. thats all i got ..... oh and i read karleigh mitti's away message one day and it said...
"because I can't fake a feeling.because people only ask about you so they can talk about themselves. because honesty is boring.because the past is boring. because timing is nothing. because nothing ever seems to change but pretty soon everything is different. because I think your thoughts are worth more than a penny. because if you never look them in the eye they can't get inside you. because watching you roll a joint is the closest I've ever been to reality."
i really loved that... and as i watched ricky rolls a joint on friday.. it was all i could think of.. just thought i would share...
tah tah for now!

im always thinking into shit too much. i just want to sit back and be the passenger of my life not the driver. i think i have been doing well at that goal lately. im taking this stuff as it comes and doing what i can with it. school. people. friends. the play. all that shit. there is only so much that we can effect. not saying that i dont think i effect anything. but over-worrying does nothing. so after getting out of that whole relationship thing i've been thinking about what i want. i miss the comfort of knowing that there was a guy waiting for my call and ready to listen and hold me. but i love the idea of being able to just do whatever. i dunno. if the guy comes along that will get me a potted sunflower and/or play "i miss you" when i wake up and/or get me a bunch of balloons.. (metaphorically speaking.. kinda) then i will deff jump at the opportunity. but i dunno i just dont see that happening anytime soon. but of course "there's nothing like being held" and thats what i miss. the comfort. not from him (sleezebag) but in general. i dunno i just wish that awesome guy would come along. one of action not just ideas. camping. spooning. craziness. long talks. passion. life. desire. affection. i dunno... just being kind girly for a minute. im soo happy that im busy right now. i really despise nothing more than stagnancy. and for the moment it is impossible. vacation is next week.... that should be fun. im gonna visit luke on the 20th and bring back some of his stuff for him. oh luke is coming to my prom with me!!! i know we will have a blast. we are both just gonna get vintage outfits at like Salvy's and spend like NO money.. sweet right? i love him.. he is such a good person. im glad my crush on him last year made us be friends... hahaha.... so yeah im pumped about that. so the play is kind of insane... its all really scary that it is on thurs. it feels like we should at least another week until the first night.. but instead we have a day and a half sweet shit right? haha... oh so a quote that i am head over heels for.. i got out of jeff's away message to give him credit.. "boredom overcomes me but does not control me. i choose my life and life chooses to keep me." if he made that up.. he is now wickd hot. well my adoring non-fans... im off to bed..
tah tah for now...

this weekend..
So this weekend was new. thursday me and sochia watched jake and those guys ride after i got out of rehearsal. then we slept at sochia's. friday my parents went away and jake jeff and sochia all slept here with me. :) funny story about that. according to a bunch of people that i dont even talk to, me and jeff had sex like all night. sweet huh? i thought it was.. then saturday we went out for breakfast, to a yard sale, and rode jeff's fourwheeler. dude that thing is fn sick.. i want one and i want it now... :) then me sochia and jake went to the skatepark, did a whole lot of nothing... it was soo nice out. ah i cant wait for summer. i hope all of april vacation is that weather. it was fn gorgeous... i love it. then i worked. and wheni got out jake jeff sochia and fn shady kid zack all came over. jake and zack were all like "lets bone" it was creepy. we went out for breakfast this morning at honey dew to visit leah and sochia. ahh i love sunday mornings just for that. jeff bought me a plant on the way home.. i love it! :) super cute... and now. im alone. about to do homework... ablah. lame. i hate the end to a weekend. esp a three day weekend.. insane. well this week is going to be crazy busy. vacation is next week so that will be fun. but this week i have rehearsal and the play all week. im going to be running around like crazy. i really like being busy tho. it makes me feel. i duno. not stagnant. real. i love it. i love knowing that i have soo much stuff to do and i dont have to sit still and think. well hi ho hi ho its off to homework i go. later.

fun
tonight was fun. i hung out with sochia, jake, and jeff. after a gruling decision of nothing at blockbuster we went back to jakes and watched catch me if you can on TV. it was fun. amanda had a fleeting moment of "****** syndrom" but i knocked her out of that right quick. we all decided that we hate eachother and want eachother to die. i had a door opened for me. i didnt understand it at first but when i realized what was happening i was like whoa. weird. but good weird. like a new flavor of ice cream weird. its good. but your not used to it so its a little confusing. well no that i sound all fucked up...

ive decided that fun= big priority for this weekend. drama= no place near me. friday=no school. saturday = show. some point during the weekend= 4 wheeler. and of course lots of boys. hum im not sure where or when yet. but seek and ye shall find. or dont seek and they fall into your lap. argh.

i wish i had my book of poetry right now. im going to slit leahs throat tomor if she doesnt give it back. well what should i do tomor? go to boston with ian. or stay in oxford? hum... well we shall see what tomor brings. hopefully. drugs and lots of them.
well. tah tah for now.
mwa

done
craig and i broke up. hurts. but eh. gotta move on. it was amazing while it lasted. i loved every minute. i learned alot. i regret nothing. for 3 months i was on top of the world. i was THE princess. and i still can be. he made me realize how special i am. it still sucks. i wish i wasnt such a girl. i wish i was numb. but everything ends sometime. and i guess it was time. and what he said tonight actually made me feel like it was even more worth it. thank you for that. i am gratefull for how amazing the time i was with him was. i learned that no-one is EVER what they seem. really super cliche but soo not. right now i do think i can be friends. in the words of someone "feelings dont let go". that is why im being a girl right now. but there is no choice to be made. move on. or . move on. i choose both. i never thought that somebody would be as infatuated in me as he was for the first three months. and now i know it is out there. and its amazing. the butterflies are so worth the nasuea. ive grown up a little. gained a scar or two. and learned that it IS worth it to open up. to give in. cause yeah ive had to deal with shit for a couple weeks. but it doesnt compete with how amazing i felt for 3 months. i was invinsible (thanks for that word leah). well this is my thank-you to craig joseph marsh for an amazing time. and amazing lessons learned. i loved every second. from the weekend my parents were gone. valentines day. us being weird. sunrises. fighting. crying. kisses on the forehead. making faces. making noises. moving around. sooooo sooo many drives in the lumina. snowboarding. o damn New Hampshire. THE CAT. haha. webster lake. walks. hugs. cuddling. going to all the field hockey games. your room. my room. haha your mom not letting us on the bed. not understanding drumline. "we rocked eachothers worlds". and now its over. friends is good for me. i love you in that way. im glad we didnt let it get to the point of hating eachother.
i read this old journal. it made me smile. cause i know that i did it right.
:: 2003 11 December :: 9.40 pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: if your happy and you know it clap your hands
[ edit | delete ]

happy long time no write
Hey its been quite a while that i havent wrote. but im really happy right now so i felt i should write. Cherish these moments. I used chipper instead of happy for my mood caus ei just read that word in sochia's journal. so im like "with" i guess you could say, this kid craig. he is amazing. he is soo much like me and completely opposite at the same time. it is awesome. ilove spending time with him. and he is awesome to me. i have so much fun with him. and even if nothing else happened, or it did and ended, i would want to be his best friend. he is that awesome. i wish i wasnt so anti-relationship. cause out of anyone he is who i should get over that for. he is incredible. i know i shouldnt let it pass and im not, im jus living in the moment. but i dont think there is a need for titles because that means obligation and all that shit. but it he wants that why not give it to him? hes worth it. but i always have that stupid thought in the back of my head, what if you find something better? im not positive where i get that from? but i have this fear of like finding something that you think is perfect, but is just good enough or even great for now. and then something better will always come along. ya know? and on top of it i just think high school relationships dont really last or anything.. so there isnt a need to get you heart broken if you dont need to right? and that wont happen if you dont lay it out there. i mean as far as relationships ive never had heart break. but ive gone through like loosing a few of the best friends i thought/think i will ever have by wearing my heart on my sleeve and stuff and i thik that makes me worry. but yea... i dunno... me and craig are going to pick sean up from UMASS tomor.. that should be fun. ah i love sean. he really is becoming like my best friend i love that kid.. he is like disconnected from my friends and starting to hangout with them and gets along with them wickd good... its great i love having him cause i can like tell him anyhting... oh sean i lov eyou "im head over heels birds in the air butterflies in the stomach in love with you" lol oh damn remember all that? lol well yea im gona end this now... good nite all love ya
sleep with music
~meg~


then i was reading sochias old journals. and i came across this and well appreciated it. i can relate right now. thank you to all my friends that have been standing so closely by and holding me up these past few weeks. your amazing i love you all thank you soo much.
boston. was. amazing. so. needed thank you. i really have the most amazing support group ever. i love you all so much.
amanda's old journal:

:: 2004 9 January :: 11.23 pm
:: Mood: accomplished


ode to best friends.
i just want to make this a dedication to all of my friends that i don't know what i'd do without. to all of my friends that accept me for who i am, wether i change, or i don't. the ones that can always make me laugh, and i feel comfortable with them and whatever we're doing. the ones that understand me without having to say a word, and love me no matter what. they put up with me, listen to me, and well thats it..haha oh, and they laugh at me even if i'm not funny. thats important. :) no matter how much time seperates us.. we believe strong enough in our friendship to know that nothing will change when we pick up the phone to talk to each other too.. thats super good to know too. we don't have to be fake to each other, and even though we notice each others faults, we notice our own as well, and we can laugh about them and just except them as part of who we are. and jokes can be made.. and taken as jokes.. not as the idea that we're trying to destroy each other and its the END OF THE WORLD. there aren't very many of you, and i'm fine with that..because fewer real friends, are better than alot of fake people. so thats about it, and this is my big I LOVE YOU ALL to the ppl that mean the world to me now, and in the future. and in the future if we're not as close as we are now, and we go our seperate ways and change.. ill still remember you all just the way you are now, and remember how much you mean to me.. and it won't matter about anything different then, b/c the memories will hold us together.
i'm just in a loving caring mood..cuz well mushy gushy crap is my new best friend. everybody should love everyone. its harder to spend your time avoiding ppl and ending friendships then just letting things be, and not getting upset about anything. everyone be happy and yea.. *lots of hugs* haha
mwahhhh xoxo <3 me


but im going to bed. tah tah for now! goodnight! mwa~ XOXOX

lol listening to less than jake. hung out with jake tonight.
tonight was fun... parts were annoying but eh life is. good with bad right? i mad some decisions today. dont feel like writing about them because i dont want to think about them. novicane=law. i hung out with jake and moberg two of the friends that craig always says are like the reason that i cant hang out with his friends. cause i wouldnt be able to get along with them... well i did tonight. humm.. craig wasnt there though.. i was with amanda. except craig came for like 15 or so min with chris. that was cute in the not kind of way. cause he was lame and his friends were nicer when he wasnt there. dude kid who wanders off on his own with out saying anything and then ends up at his house with his friends looking for him= bomb. i can ride a bike. so one vent.. craig said that tomor i am going to find something out to make me feel like an idiot but it will prob make me feel better? humm weird. kind of annoying... jake was super nice i talked tohim online and said something about if craig still likes me and he was like he would be dumb not to. its good to hear nice stuff like that from someone who i didnt get along with a little while ago. well tomor= boston.. aka tomor=god. yes im pumped. siked. happy. well for now the bed calls sleep one sleep all. sleep on the stairs of the mall.
mwa

life
I want everything back... and i want it back now... i want him back.i want him to show how he cares just like he used to. i want him to cry when i cry. i want to be the center of his world. i want him to think a day without me is too long. i want him to not be able to get enough of me. i want to be happy. i dont want to feel like im going to burst into tears like i have been for the past three days. i dont want to feel sick. i want to puke. and then get an injection of novicane. it was so much easier when i didnt care. why is it that when he cares the least i care the most? i dont want to have to schedual time with him. i want to come before *those certain* things. i want to matter. not just words. actions. boston is soo calling... so question now.. do i go visit jay and get a bed or sleep on a gross floor like a looser. while everyone else gets beds? thought for the night. later
~*meg*~

Im happy. i know it.
Craig just left. We went to church again. We went last sunday too. O the Catholic church. So last week was good. a nice sermon. still dont believe in God. but it was nice. kind of comforting. but this week was lame. it was a different priest and he was fn lame. he sat there and was like "it makes me soo upset when i only see one dollar bills in the donation baskets, i am sad that that is all you want to devote of yourself to Jesus, blah blah blah" Like correlating money to your devotion to Jesus. That is why the church is fucked up. Dude so somebody doesnt give a ton of money to make sure you have a SUPER house and that all the stuff in your church is fn gold. If someone believes and has faith thats enough. Why do they have to give money? The FN church is all about fear, thats why i have always hated it and tonite's mass pointed that out soo much.. i was just like HOLY shit. i was honestly cringing as he talked about it. and the really upsetting part was that he started the mass out really nicely. comparing life's craziness that clouds (religious peoples) eyes from jesus, and their religion. to the stars in the city being clouded out by light pollution and smog. then he just became really really really sucky.. ablah...... anyways..

So tomor me and Ian are going out to dinner. Im really happy because i miss him alot. he is one of my best friends. and i love him to death. we are those friends that can go forever without talking or hanging out and its still as if we hadnt in like 5 min. i love him. he is one of the people that i will be soo cautious of not loosing when i go off to college. he is a lifer. love ya babe.

So an update on craig. Im soo totally in like. he makes me super happy. really. i feel wickd comfortable with him, and at the same time want to do nothing to not impress him. i want him to think im amazing. cause he is. and i know im being real cause there are things that bother me, he isnt perfect, but no one is, and i would never want anything like that. Flaws are what make us all different. this will be the corniest thing i will ever EVER write in here, cause this isnt me, but its what i feel right now. I really get lost in his eyes (i know soo cliche) i look at them and im comfortable lost and mush at the same time. i dunno im done with the corniness. ahh...

friends. well its weird but it feels like i have too many and not enough time. like i just got back deanna and chris. but i feel like i havent really because i havent gotten to see them. they are my balloons really i would sink without them.(i think i stole that) i have gone through sooo much with the both of them. it makes me know that we can handle anything. one day we will be old and on a porch together. rocking chairs. and grandchildren. chris with old hockey "glory days" stories. deanna happy she isnt teaching "little brats" anymore. and me prob still blarring music. o damn. am i reminising about the future? is that possible? well besides those two. i wish me and michelle hung out more. she is one of the most kind hearted people ever. really she has one of the biggest hearts of anyone i have ever meant. she is genuinly nice. i love her. she never stops making me laugh either. whether or not she means to is a diff story lol. im hoping to see luke at least for some kind of real time before he goes back to school from break (or i could just wait and go visit? lol prop both). sean isnt going back to school. so that means i have like another best friend around. i havent seen him alot lately. i miss him. we went out the other nite. me craig him and deirdre to the movies. OH deirdre NOW THAT IS A LIFER. her mum even said so, and the immigrant is law. thats all there is to that lol. i love her to death. there are words for our friendship so i wont try. Then of course the thirds. Me SOCHER and LEHUR. i always see these guys tho. it would be hard to loose touch lol. but i think sochia is mad at me. wish i knew why. she was rude to me when i got to leahs last night so i didnt bother talking to her. yeah we deal with things in the healthy way. oh well, we will prob be fine tomor. and i miss danni. this summer was such an amazing time. amazing is the right word here. we had soo much fun. we were just being teenagers. dumb and irresponsible sometimes. but teenagers. i loved every minute. and i appreciated it. we werent unsafe. and had fun. we sat back soo many times and soaked in that those were the times. and im soo happy for that. that we could all appreciate that those were amazing moments, with amazing people. we werent trying to be all grown up. but just be us. be fun. be crazy. be wild. be.

well im gonna rest for now no one is prob reading this. and im writing waaaay too much!goodnite all!
later days
~*meg*~

HUDSON ROCKS MY WORLD HARDCORE STYLE!!!
ok i dont feel like explaining everything rite now... but here is the IMs from after the cop called me tonite....
R0CK my WURLD: NOW PLEAS
DeadbeatLarry: ahhh
DeadbeatLarry: i didnt leave yet
DeadbeatLarry: lucky you
DeadbeatLarry: whats up?
R0CK my WURLD: the hudson police just calle dme
DeadbeatLarry: ummm
DeadbeatLarry: what did they say?
DeadbeatLarry: those kids really have no balls, calling the fucking cops
R0CK my WURLD: they were like some kidwas running around in the parklot of mcdonalds? threw a ladder over a fence? then someone threw a drink at the car and it got all over the attendant? and they told the cops that they followed us all the way to oxford and blocked us in ona deadend. but didnt say that they punched/kicked my car and shit...
DeadbeatLarry: what did you say to the cops?
DeadbeatLarry: whoa, i cant believe this
R0CK my WURLD: so he asked if i wanted to file a complaint after i told the rest of the story... and told them that i was afraid they were gonna mess up my car. and shit and i was like no because there isnt damage done. and told them about the high beams and everything
R0CK my WURLD: i told him how they harassed us with the sex/flashing/whore questions and comments
DeadbeatLarry: good
DeadbeatLarry: they were really dumb to call the cops
R0CK my WURLD: so he has to file a report but thats it. nothing else
DeadbeatLarry: did they think that we wouldnt tell what they did?
DeadbeatLarry: i have a few reports on me, its no big deal, dont worry
R0CK my WURLD: and he was like be careful in the future and call the cops if someone is following you or go to a police station
R0CK my WURLD: yea i dont care
R0CK my WURLD: and my mom listened to the whole thing
R0CK my WURLD: so i told her everyhting
DeadbeatLarry: what did she say?
R0CK my WURLD: she was like thats dumb of you because you dont know what kind of peopleyou are messing wiht and stuff... they could have had guns/knives or been drunk/on drugs. and was pissed that i called keith instead of calling the cops or going to a police station
DeadbeatLarry: makes sense
DeadbeatLarry: i guarantee the cops call back whoever called in in the first place
R0CK my WURLD: what do you mean?
DeadbeatLarry: those kids from hudson
DeadbeatLarry: i bet the cops call them
R0CK my WURLD: ooo lol i know
DeadbeatLarry signed off at 12:50:34 AM.
DeadbeatLarry signed on at 12:50:51 AM.
DeadbeatLarry: did you say anything?
DeadbeatLarry: i was on aim+ for some reason, and that thing sucks
R0CK my WURLD: he called agian
DeadbeatLarry: whoa
DeadbeatLarry: what did he say?
R0CK my WURLD: he wanted to know who threw the soda... because he wanted to know if i was covering for anyone. if it was a male who did it. i was like no i promise i was the one who was pissed about what they said to me and the other girls in my car
DeadbeatLarry: good thing your windows dont roll down all the way in the back
DeadbeatLarry: i was gonna do it
R0CK my WURLD: lol i know
DeadbeatLarry: fun times
DeadbeatLarry: so we paid 5 bucks to see some shitty bands and got the cops involved amazingly
DeadbeatLarry: hudson is full of fun
R0CK my WURLD: hudson rocks my world
DeadbeatLarry: and hudson definitely deadbeats my larry
DeadbeatLarry: i guess i'm gonna go to bed now though
DeadbeatLarry: wow
DeadbeatLarry: this is all really messed up
R0CK my WURLD: lol nunite mwa

and here is sean's journal:

Hudson rocks, really
Kix, half a buffalo chicken tender pizza, something from McDonalds, Raisin Bran.

Okay, now I got that out of the way, I'm going to break the rules and write about something other than what I ate today. This is too good though. Okay, so me, Meg, and Craig go to Hudson to watch this show. The bands sucked, but it was fun. We're at the McDonald's drivethru in Hudson and Craig is being weird, running in and out of the car, you know, all that fun stuff. These guys in the car behind us are asking for the girls to flash them and stuff (this was after the girls asked for their numbers). So nothing really happened between then and when we got our food, Craig was still being nuts, thats about it. Actually, I messed that up. Right as we're getting our food, Michelle went and gave a flier for the show on Saturday (go, Sat. 4:30 Oxford VFW). They gave use the flier back and wrote "Fuck you" on it. It seemed funny enough. Meg yelled stuff back about it being kinky and dominatrix style. I guess they got mad at that because they told Craig to get back in the car with his whore girlfriend or something. So I came up with the bright idea to go back around and throw a drink at them. We did. They decided to follow us from Hudson all the way to Oxford (with a detour in Auburn on some back roads). They were really great, I bet they have really huge balls and get laid every night. But anyway, Meg called Keith Weagle and he got rid of them for us. We stayed over there for a bit I guess. Wow. This story wasn't really as interesting telling it as it was when it happened. I guess I left a bunch out. Maybe. Ah well. Now I just feel like an angsty teenage girl with an online journal. I'm sticking to food :)


so there is a little summary of my nite for now sleep with music for ever and ever nunite mwa
~meg~