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2003 24 January :: 9.57 pm
:: Mood: scurred
first off let me say that the world is out to get me.
next on my list of things to say.... my week has been long and stressful. nothing in particular happened... i just need a break. i should do like ashley and skip school to get a massage lol. well she's been being nice to me this week.. its like part of the old her came back.. i hope it stays!
me n christine just went to see darkness falls.... stay in the light!!!! AAH! that was kinda funny we screamed at the cat lmao.. well im sleepin with my lights on tonight! lol ugh there were so many hotties at muvico.. or maybe i just thought they were hott cause im so used to ugly boys.. lol. i want drums! they look sooo fun! lol ok well im gonna go adios!
3 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 23 January :: 7.47 pm
that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red...
hmm.. this whole losing weight thing isnt working for me. im really trying to be on my diet but i guess im just not a diet person. ill do well for 1 or 2 days.. then pig out. hmm.. haybe i need to exercise more. i should swim agen.. that burns A LOT of calories.. but i dont think i have time. maybe i should see what the schedule is cause i need to do something... im really not happy w/ myself. (for the record.. i dont think im FAT... i just need to tone up some cause ive gained over 15 lbs. in the past 6 months.)
1 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 23 January :: 6.06 pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: simple plan: id do anything
raindrops keep fallin on my head...
ugh... my parents are really getting on my nerves. especially my dad.. hes such an asshole. all i ever hear from them is what a bad attitude i have... and everything that's wrong with me. i feel like they want me to be perfect all the time.. but i just cant live up to that cause i can only do so much. i mean, i bust my ass at school trying to get a's and b's.. yet i'm still a horrible person. what the hell? i hate it how they yell at me for no reason... try to control my life.. and yet expect me to "respect" them... sorry but i can't respect you if you're gonna treat me like that. i do NOT have a bad attitude! WTF!! oh... but of course my brother is better than me.. well let's not get into that one. but this whole situation is really starting to get to me. unless im mary freakin sunshine to them, then im being "mean". oh yea and the other day my dad sed that "i dont deserve anything" that was like a slap in the face to me cause i work really hard to bring home my grades... in spite of everything else going on in my life. they just dont understand what i've been going through this year. i had to leave so many friends to come to atlantic, its really stressful, lost my best friend, treated like crap for a while... and then on top of it i have to go to ccd and that just adds stress... thank god its over soon. i dont think they realize that i'm growing up.. and they need to loosen their grip. i need my freedom. fast.
2 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 21 January :: 4.51 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: ludacris: move bitch
we're off to see the wizard..
first of all.. juss wanna say to my danielle that I luv u and I'm here for you... my brother can be an ass sometimes too.. for ex one day he was bein mean so i was like okay you're fuckin psycho then he sed im a stupid bitch and no one lykes me.. so i kno how u feel sweetie.. try to deal w/ it the best u can cause it doesnt matter what he sez.. u r who u r n if he doesnt accept it then its his prob.
anywho.. me n natalia were laughin about the pink underwear today n sameen was crackin up we were like wtf u dont kno what were laughin about n hes like "u sed she has a big eyebrow" lmao ooook then.. omg english was soooooooo fun! we had that weird law school dropout as a sub and hes like tellin us stories as he grades our warm up... lmao
1. We do it ourselves
2. You do it for us
3. We do it together
4. We don't go to college
lmfao! whoo u had to be there... ashikul was soo funny with his lil accent... the sub called him "ashi" n thought his accent was real! lmao ok then
p.e. was okay... i did some homework.. afterwards i was told my fly was down... always embarassing lol. ok well im gonna go do homework now
1 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 20 January :: 1.31 pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: gc- riot girl
weekend
lets see.. friday I went to the movies with Jessie.. shadowood was emty! except for the lil ppl but they dont count.. lol omg guys dont see "a guy thing" it sucked really bad.. i mean there was like one funny part but that's it.. so yea dont waste you money.
Saturday I was Jackie's subject for her photography project.. giraffe shadows! heh that was fun.. then christini called and we met up at the park after being confused cause she sed to meet somewhere else but i thought she meant the park and whatnot. we had fun tho! i forgot how much fun the park was! lol i cant believe i made it up the slide.. it was hard! and this gifted child over here beat me at tic-tac-toe.. and we played on the drawbridge thingie.. yea it was fun. no you cant get high off hemp! lol
sunday.. was me n jessie's play day. she came over my house.. we watched some movies.. went to the park.. realized it was infested with kiddies so we went to the other one.. played tennis (out of shape!) lol.. saw a ghost.. sat on monkey bars.. rode the t-rex... road trip!!!!!! lolol came home.. ate.. went to jessie's.. walked to the ashley park park .. tried to find constellations.. saw a scary kid ride by.. then went home n pigged out as we watched "enough". i slept over.. woke up, ate some food, played drums!!!!! ahh i want a drum set now see what u've done to me! lol then went home. fun day.. fun weekend.. but now i gotta do hw.. ugh. oh well .. see ya later!
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 17 January :: 4.31 pm
:: Mood: laughed my ass off
omg most amusing bus ride ever!!!!!
wow.. i would normally tell u about my day but it does not even compare to the bus ride. well it started out gay.. but then this is what happened. our bus got flashed (no i did not enjoy this but it just added to the overall mayhem) n they were being gay n me n natalia were like ursoo stupid.. and we were like it would be so cool if someone shot them.. then they yell out that window to this guy and what do ya know.. he has a fuckin gun in his pocket! lmao it wasnt scary.. just funny . then the twins got horny i guess cause they were askin anyone wid estrogen in em to flash them... at one point they were offerin up to $700! no joke. natalia u coulda made easy money! lol but they asked while the bus was stoppin and the ppl had to get up to leave n theyre like oh 2 ppl stodd up! lol n then "hey fatty... hey girl with the red shirt... hey girl with the pink underwear!" ::look at natalia.. look at girl with pink underwear.. look back at natalia:: i have never laughed so hard in my life.. i almost pissed in my pants. n what was weird about it is that the twins r usually juss stupid. oh yea... "no takers? well i guess im goin on the internet tonight.. just me, myself, and my rubber vagina" rotflmfao omg omgomgomg wow. i guess u had to be there.. i juss wrote it in my journal so i wouldnt forget it lol o n jessie if u thought the bus was loud when u vcalled.. u shoulda seen it later! whooo.. anyways im gonna go now. im all laughed out. damn that shyt was funny as hell
3 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 16 January :: 8.56 pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: take a wild guess
juss some lyrics.. ahem
Here I am on
The phone again, and
Awkward silence is
On the other end
I used to know the sound
Of a smile in your voice
But right now (right now)
All I feel (All I feel)
Is the pain of the fighting
Starting up again
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind
On my mind
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time
After time after time
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Some say that
Time changes
Best friends can
Become strangers
But I don't want that
No, not for you
If you just stay with me, we can make it through
So Here we are again
The same old argument
And now I'm wonderin'
If things'll ever change, yeah
When will you laugh again?
Laugh like you did back when
We'd make noise til 3 AM and the neighbors would complain
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind
On my mind
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time
After time after time
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin' down
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin' down
Down
Down
Down
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
If you'll just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Don't say a word (Please don't leave)
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away (Please don't leave)
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
another night, another dream.. |
::
2003 16 January :: 8.29 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
warning: rant
grrrrrrrrrr! i hate parents!!!!!!!!! okay all they do is try to control me! wtf they check up on me too fuckin often! did u do ur homework? did u eat lunch? what did u have? did u eat dinner? did u eat this? did u eat that? i swear they think im anorexic cause i didnt eat dinner ONCE cause i wasnt hungry.. i swear! and they think i dont do my hw or something hello i got all a's and 2 b's.. and then okay of course im gonna be pissed at them they wont leave me alone.. breathin down my neck all the time.. no fuckin wonder im pissy! all i hear is what a bad attitude i have! it pisses me off so bad cause they act like they didnt do anything.. and also when they yell at me for stupid things theyll turn around and expect me not to be mad afterwards. they need to stop trying to control my life . i need my space! whoo okay there ya go im done (for now) lol jessie sound familiar? lol i juss copied n pasted didnt wanna type it all over. ugh. how old do u have to be to get emancipated? lol bye
1 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 16 January :: 4.39 pm
:: Music: first u say whoa then u say yea lol jess
oompa loompa doompa-ti-doo
only one more day! this has been such a long week. liz got her braces off today i cant wait to see her! in history our group got separated... but lmao it was so funny with the pen in her pocket.. lol and she really thinks ash is andrea! english was pretty boring... p.e.. eh.. we sat inside 2dai tho! n i found someone to like lol i got hit by the basketball n everyone like dived for it.. it was scary. on the bus i walked on n the ppl in the front were like can ur shorts b any shorter? i should've taken natalias advice and sed yea! as i roll them up lol. well im gonna go do hw or something
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 15 January :: 4.45 pm
:: Mood: thirsty
dont let me get me
ugh its only wednesday! this week has been so long.. i need some rest! nothing particularly interesting happened to me today... we got report cards.. for the sem. all a's and 2 b's yay! lol mr coppola gave me a 2 in conduct.. wtf! im like the only kid in that class that DOESNT talk.. damn what an ass. yea well im trying to persuede the parentals to get me a cd player today.. i need to stop bumming off everyone elses! lol anywho.. adam was trying to be nice to me on the bus.. that was odd. ahh well im gonna go work on my hw.. adios
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 13 January :: 8.47 pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: gc-the story of my old man
Mi dia
My horoscope pretty much sez it all..
Tone down the emotions for the next two days. Passionate though you may be, a detached approach is necessary if you want the best results. Play it cool.
which i have been trying to do! lol well seriously though.. i dont care if we're not gonna be friends.. not like aim losing anything.. i just wont be her reserve anymore. but no confrontations for me! lol
lets see.. today celine bought rich the "dirty minds" game.. that was sooo funny! heres a taste
guess what word is described by these three clues:
1. A four letter word
2. describes a female
3. ends in "unt"
it's aunt! you silly (sick minded) head! lol
christine called while i was at dance and my daddy wrote the message down but my mom thought it was for her so she called christine.. so embarassing lol.
christine.. im so proud of u for not letting ur foot up! lol a strongly-worded letter always goes far and best of luck! whatever happens though.. remember theres ppl who care about u.. like me! lol
what else.. uh thats it for today. exciting huh? lol well g2g
p.s. i got jackie addicted to penpen muahahahahahaahaha!
1 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 12 January :: 8.54 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: gc-say anything
the bbq
oh what fun.. actually it was pretty fun.. i burned at least 5 calories! (3 more than expected!) lol well we played tennis then chase the dog then tackle (that was interesting..) then we played football.. fun stuff. that pasta salad owned.. lol anywho.. all in all a good day w/ old friends. (only jessieful; and bethani are allowed to call me rachela so there!) dont ask lol
6 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 12 January :: 12.26 pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: good charlotte-wondering
today i have a bbq.. oh what fun. lol no well ill prolly play sum tennis and burn a calorie (or two)
yesterday we went to loggerz and that was fun.. but last time i went there i REALLY missed that school..but now I still miss it, just not as much. cause i realized high school isnt all that miserable! lol
chistine-it was a good for the soul day for me too! in spite of everything.. there have been ppl who stuck by me the whole time.. and I just wanna say thanks cause it might not have seemed like I appreciated u guys cause i got so worked up in my problems i didnt open my eyes to the people who really care.. anyways.. thanks so much. <3<3<3Liz, Natalia, Christine, Sammy, Jessie.. i love u guys wid all my heart! <3<3<3
anywho.. jessieful where are you! i miss ya! we gotta have a playday here agen we can get sick on the swings! lol
thats it for now.. see ya later!
2 but always you.. |
another night, another dream.. |
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2003 9 January :: 8.38 pm
latest challenge: getting the parents to buy me a new cd player. lol mine is ancient. i have the original discman.. it freakin skips when you look at it! lol so im using my report card as an excuse for them to buy me one lol. im soo tired of school already! lol i juss like seeing my friends. omg our soap opera for drama is soo messed up! okay we all have like porn star names.. for ex: bambi blue, cookie jarson, candi kane, and cocoa puffington. mine is the only semi-non hoe name lol well anywho see its supposed to be serious.. but theyre makin it funny by doing things like callimg the camp "camp bhenaround" lol w/e its better than singing (which i hope to god we wont have time to do!!!!!!!!) lol the bus was boring i zoned off alot but towards the end me n ntalia had to pee rreeeaalllyy bad and we kept passig by things that had to do w/ water. like a lake, a fountain, a neighborhood called waterways, waters edge elementary, etc. needless to say that didnt help out much lol. p.e is gonna be so boring! lets just say i feel "out of place" lmao natalia n christine. well i guess i can do homework but that only takes so long.. *sigh* oh well. okay i should go and finish my daybook (last page!!) lol cya
another night, another dream.. |
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