upchuck
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2006 22 July :: 12.27am
So, I got rejected on that State Department exam thingy. Oh well. I thought it would be cool but I wasn't really counting on it.
On a happier note, I got a five out of five on my assignment for SS300. That's five percent because the prof works on a strict 100 point scale. I also got 21 out of 25 on my midterm. Not bad, expecially considering the calss average was a full letter grade worse (18 of 25). I guess that's all, now just one more job option closed.
Did I mention I was looking for a job? Oh yeah, I am, despite the fact I already have one. Want mine? Trust me, you don't want it.
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jedibumblebee
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2006 17 July :: 6.33pm
This is what happens when I forget to put the laundry away.
Read more..
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upchuck
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2006 16 July :: 3.05am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Swamp Music" Skynyrd
So, I'm very tired right now. Jessa can attest to the rambling discourse that comes out of my fingertips tonight. It make take the form of fully formed sentences, punctuated in strange ways, or short choppy sentences. Ones which really aren't, not should they be............. and lots of ......'s
Anywho. When looking at places for receptions today. With Mica, my fiancee. Her sister and her friend Johanna (friend, not sister).
Then Mica went dress shopping. I almost cried when she left. Even the thought of her being in a wedding dress makes me all taery eyed. It makes me think of what that day is going to be like (don't worry, long ways off, in normal terms). But I just can't think of what it will be like when I see her for real. I don't know how I am going to make it. I guess I'll just have to do my best.
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jedibumblebee
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2006 15 July :: 6.23pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Barenaked Ladies- Be My Yoko Ono
"..it doesnt seem to me to be such a pain, to have you hanging off my ankle like some kind of ball and chain..."
Three weeks! EEEE!
The to-do list is down to a mere 39 items. Which is still stressing me out, but well, you know. Thats how I roll, yo.
I think I'm going crazy.
I wish I had some more friends, or didn't lose track of some of the old ones. But then again I think about how difficult it is to keep up with the friends I am "close" with right now. So maybe being social is not really my nature.
Is anyone a good artist? I need help painting a mailbox.
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upchuck
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2006 23 June :: 11.05am
So, I'm engaged.
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jedibumblebee
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2006 13 June :: 5.36pm
i have way too much shit to do in the next 7 weeks. arrgghh.
RSVPs: 21 yes, 1 no, 155 sent
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jedibumblebee
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2006 31 May :: 9.04pm
wow, i love my almost-husband.
bridal shower on sunday. sending out the wedding invites sometime before then. i love feeling like I've got things on track.
on a less positive note, my dj appears to have dropped off the face of the earth. which could totally suck, if I have to find somebody new.
also, i desperately need a new job.
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jedibumblebee
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2006 21 May :: 4.09pm
Go figure. The day before my certification test, I get sicker than I've been in a year.
Grrr....
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jedibumblebee
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2006 19 May :: 7.16pm
oh wow.
i can't even begin to put life into words.
i have been so busy lately that it's not even funny.
getting married in 11 weeks. i'm strangely calm about that.
i am glad that i did things the right way (in my opinion). my parents aren't forbidding our union, i'm not knocked up, i didn't force him into it. i'm a college graduate and i'm gainfully employed (well, for a little while longer at least).
we don't have the wild and crazy, do-anything-for-love, sweep-me-off-my-feet attitude. we have this practical, stable, powerful, but sensible love that is so hard to explain to anyone else. not passionate in spontanaeity, but passionate in its strength.
so i am calm. because i believe that i know what our future holds.
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upchuck
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2006 4 May :: 12.29am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Ballad of Curtis Lowe" - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Being tired
I don't know what it is anymore. This week I have ben so extremely tired. It may be recovering from Saturday night still, but I doubt it.
It was nice to let loose on Saturday night. It had been awhile. It's nice to go out, have some fun with some friends and not have to worry about anything. To know that everything is going to be taken care of and what tomorrow brings will just have to wait. That's part of what I feel that I will miss this summer that I had last summer. I discovered a different part of me last summer. The part that was mulled in a three month stretch of depression, but also someone who would show his pain, and wasn't afraid to act out. Someone who didn't have to be absolutely perfect all the time.
I guess that's the way I feel now. That I have to be perfect all the time. I didn't last summer. I didn't have all these concerns that I have now. All I had to worry about was trying to keep my mind off of what was giong on with Kim, what time I was playing that weekend, and making it to softball practice on time. I had class too, but it wasn't until after much of the summer had passed. Now, I feel like I have to be perfect, and that is going to lead to the inevitable crash that I experience because I don't feel like I'm doing anything good enough.
I've gotten much better about those times. They happen every so often and Ijust feel like it's coming. It's going to be one of those days that I just breakdown, cry myself to sleep, and then feel better afterwards. But the it just feels like the balance isn't there anymore. I had to miss a softball game today, for the first time in two years. I'm having serious doubts about my ability to go back to school after taking a semester off. Last summer, school was such a big part of redifining who I was. It was something that I drew confidence from. I hope it is now too. I just worry aobut it because there are other things I have to support me now. I guess I'll figure it all out and ina few days it won't be confusing anymore. I just wish it didn't have to be confusing in the first place.
P.s. I heard a rumor about a certain ex-girlfriend of mind trying out at a certain place's amateur night. Not sure if it's entirely true, but I definitely wouldn't doubt it.
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jedibumblebee
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2006 10 April :: 7.00am
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JediBumblebee
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2006 5 April :: 10.40pm
To Do:
1. Schedule engagement pics (little late?)
2. Set menu with caterer
3. Set up cake and cake design
4. Pick menswear.
5. Order response cards for invitations.
6. Finish making favors.
7. Buy wedding bands.
8. Dress fittings.
9. Hair Trial
10. Find reading for vows.
11. Seating chart
12. Marriage license
13. Groomsman, parents, and flowergirl gifts
I think that is everything I HAVE to do.
My dress was supposed to be in 4 days ago, so I am totally freaking out... I think once it is in I will be a lot more relieved. Everything else is negotiable, but getting my dress is important. Well I guess the marriage license is pretty necessary too...that's the easy part.
Lists lists lists. That's what I do when I start to get stressed out.
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JediBumblebee
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2006 5 April :: 10.07pm
Please take this survey thingy for me. :)
Positives
Negatives
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JediBumblebee
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2006 5 April :: 12.42pm
OMFG...
It's my negative four months' wedding anniversary.
I'm officially freaked out.
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JediBumblebee
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2006 2 April :: 8.11pm
125 days! 125 days!
Rehersal dinner: booked!
Bridesmaids gifts: purchased!
Bridesmaids dresses: in!
Invitations: in!
Shoes: totally cute!
Vows: almost finished!
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