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JediBumblebee

:: 2003 21 June :: 8.29am

jedibumblebee
Magic Number11
JobCelebrity Nobody
PersonalityChancer
TemperamentNervous
SexualIf I Have To
Likely To WinA Nobel Prize
Me - In A WordBeautiful
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 18 June :: 9.47pm

i dont know if this is working out...i'm getting feelings of deja vu.

1 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 18 June :: 7.53pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Moby- That's When I Reach for my Revolver

Once I had my heroes, once I had my dreams...But all of that is changed now...
so i am sick of school and don't want to go anymore, i'm dropping my accounting class so I can work some more (still in electrical) and maybe pretend to have a summer vacation. tomorrow is my last test, and consequently my last day of statistics, and it will be nice.

you know, for years now I've been spelling the word "tomorrow" incorrectly. Did anyone notice that, and just neglect to tell me? I felt pretty stupid when I figured it out. That's the downside of autocorrect in Microsoft Word. You really don't notice the mistakes you're making. And I'm a smart kid...I think.

i might be going overboard with the apartment thing. my parents are running out of places to put my stuff that i've been "collecting" for it....i've got a microwave and microwave stand, a tv cart, a couch, a vacuum, all my bedding, computer, desk, a whole lot of clocks (i've collected them over the summer and i'm going to use them, hopefully, to make a "clock wall" in my apartment), dishes, towels, shelves, etc. it's getting kinda hectic.

I'm getting a real estate salesperson's license too. In July, I go to a week of classes and then I go down and take a test. Three hundred dollars for another career opportunity. Not bad, not bad at all. I figure I can just collect different certifications and licenses, that way I will always have a career to fall back on. Right now I'm looking at aa truck driver's license, a bartending certificate, and florists certification. But the real estate thing is good, because people always need places to live.

I'm sure there are other things I could update on, but my fingers hurt from work...and liquid bandage really isn't all that it's cracked up to be...

2 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 16 June :: 11.11pm
:: Mood: crappy

so people just totally drive me nuts

i'm cutting myself off from the world for a while and i really dont think that the world minds one bit

Crash Test


70billion

:: 2003 16 June :: 4.07pm
:: Mood: grateful
:: Music: The All-American Rejects-last song

I hit some wood in the road and now my car makes funny noises that arnt so funny
Yup things are going good. Today i had the orintation for my new job. It seems cool. I am so lucky to have a job like this, I mean its a real job and I have a chance of going somewhere here like after collage and they might end up paying for some of it or something. But the only down fall is i have to be at work at 5am but i get out at 2:30pm so i can do what i want for the night but most likely i will be sleeping by 8.

10 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 14 June :: 12.18am

hahaha
Leo & Scorpio
Riven and driven, this couple wins the passion prize. Leo and Scorpio are locked in a struggle, united on the razor's edge. The emotional Leo is offended by Scorpian rudeness; in turn, Scorpio's deep feelings are masked by carnal urges. Tension and challenge define this relationship. Each is endowed with an infinite ability to wound or solace the other, and the two will endlessly oscillate between torment and delight. The clash of these two strong personalities is doomed unless indulgence and tolerance also reign. But selfishness may overcome them.

1 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 13 June :: 1.58am
:: Mood: confused

there was something i was going to do when i got home....but i forget what it is....

Crash Test


70billion

:: 2003 12 June :: 10.37am
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Rise Against- Everchanging

Today I have a job interview and I'm Excited and i hope everything goes good because this place is a lot better than Auto-wares.

3 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 9 June :: 11.51pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Howie Day- Everything Else

And I'm screaming for the breath that makes you alive...
so this is how it all goes down. just fucking great. so don't go acting like everything's still supposed to be all cool. because its not.

thanks for your time, i wish i could thank you for your effort.

Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 9 June :: 11.19pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Howie Day- Everything Else

they will all just go away
all of the demons
enjoy this life right now
you know what you're to do
and letters
yes they matter write her quite a few
and she might love you for it
but you can't count on it

Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 8 June :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Fountains of Wayne- Troubled Times

Like she was returnable...one day would refill your hands...
I had a dream...
that i made different choices.
i went to the beach and clutched onto every wave and there was nothing there to hold me. I washed up onto the shore and got sand in my hair.

I miss the beach. I miss the waves, the sand, the sun.

Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 5 June :: 11.54pm
:: Mood: intimidated

that hurt.
you make it sound like its so easy, please remember its not as easy for me.

don't compare me to her, i don't want to just be another chapter in the book.

Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 5 June :: 10.51pm
:: Music: Jeff Buckley- Lover, You Should Have Come Over

It's never over...my kingdom for a kiss upon the shoulder...
my head hurts again. i'm afraid i'm dying.
update on all of that- my MRI and MRA both turned up negative. BUT... I have to go see a neurologist to keep looking for why I keep getting spontaneous dizzy spells. And I'm not supposed to drive for 6 months. Yeah...right. Like I can get rides to work, to class, or anywhere else.

I went garage sale-ing today and bought more books....like "Philosophy and Myth in Karl Marx" and "Social Cognition". I am a HUGE nerd.

A lot of my relationships have issues right now. Can't get ahold of my best friend, she's being weird, cryptic, and a pain in the butt about some things. I kindof feel like she doesnt tell me about anything anymore, mainly because she knows i'll give a negative reaction to a lot of it. But I guess its how I am, I can't really change that. When I don't like something, I won't pretend to.
As far as the romantic life is concerned, I guess I'm starting to worry that I view the whole thing from a different perspective. Or that I might be "just another girlfriend"... it sounds conceited but I like to think that I should be considered the best or one of the best....lately I feel like I don't measure up or that I'm doing a crappy job. Paranoia maybe. Stressing me out.

I really dont know what I'm talking about. My current situation in life..I'm feeling useless again.

2 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 3 June :: 11.00pm

today has just totally drained my energy.

i think i could sleep for 26 hours straight.

Crash Test


JediBumblebee

:: 2003 3 June :: 5.05pm

not mine...
teenage heartbreak...it's beautifully fucking miserable..

Crash Test

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