:: 2007 26 September :: 3.16 pm

ALLY HAD HER BABY TODAY!!

Name: Autumn Irene O'Connor
Weight: 8lbs 9oz
Length: 21 inches
Time: 12:15 PM

4 *gazer*s | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2007 21 September :: 9.26 pm

Interesting things have happened lately.
I was in shock for atleast a 24 hour time period.

Wednesday night around 10:15 we heard a knock at our door. So Mike told whoeverit was to come in because we were doing one of his Criminal Justice Quizzes online.. But whoever it was just kept knocking. So he got up and answered the door. Much to his and my surprise, there stands a man saturated in blood. From head to toe. Covered. Mike jumped back about 2 feet, and my eyes grew as big as they could possibly get. Mike asked the guy if he wanted us to call 911. But he just kept repeating 'i crashed my bike, please don't call the cops.. please man, don't.. i'll go to jail.. im drunk" So we got the guy a wet towel, so he could put it on the gaping hole he had in his head. Mike followed the guy out to the pavement when the guy realized he was at the wrong apartment. He took him down to his nephews apartment and the cops showed up. When Mike was talking to the cop, and the guys nephew one of them asked the guy if he got beat up. And the guy, who entirely intoxicated, said "yeah I did. that guy punched me in the face" (pointing at Mike) and Mike was like "dude, you just showed up on my door step, I don't know who you are". I went outside after swallowing my stomach, and there was a massive blood trail. Blood all over my door, bottom of the door frame, side of the door frame, our door mat, steps. In the mean time we're trying to find out where this guy came from, and what happened.. And we notice that his BICYCLE was leaning against one of the garages out back, and the door as well as his bike was covered with blood as well. So then we followed the trail back the other way, and found the spot where he crashed. He either hit a parked truck on his bike, or just simply fell over. There was an extreme puddle of blood on the ground and then smears on the front of the truck.

I haven't ever witnessed ANYTHING like that in my life.
When I went to try to go to sleep that night, I had knots in my stomach so bad that I thought I was going to puke and everytime I'd close my eyes, I'd picture that guy. When I did fall asleep, I'd start sweating so bad that I'd wake up, or Mike would wake me up.
I had nightmares.

Now Im just paranoid of everything and anything that could possibly be in the dark.

6 *gazer*s | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2007 5 September :: 3.40 pm

So it's been awhile since I have had something of some use or interest.
I still work the same shitty job.
Mike and I are doing great. Wonderful as a matter of fact.
I spent a lot of time with my dad, sister and brother (in law) this weekend.
I had a lot of fun.
Mike went to fireworks with my sister, dad and I.
We walked.. Pretty amazing.
Hopefully this time next year, Mike will be a probation officer or whatever he decides to be, and I will be able to not work haha..

I got my first speeding ticket..
I just called to see how much it is going to be..
$86 dollars isn't bad. :)

5 *gazer*s | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2007 26 August :: 12.26 am

Thursday my friend Katelyn had her baby. I am way excited because I get to see her tomorrow!!

I also went to see Ally and her pregnant belly today.
I cannot wait until she has her baby..

1 *gazer* | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2007 10 August :: 4.16 pm
:: Mood: Enraged.

If you thought your day was bad..
What needs to change:
While you do work hard, it has been observed for some time that instead of being respectful and helpful to your co-workers, you have been a major contributor to a hostile, judgemental and difficult work environment. Belittling, jabbing comments as well as rough handling of equipment and passing of material are just few examples of behavior that must stop. While you may argue about others not going enough, it is not much different than what you were able to do when you first started. You have also exhibited these types of behaviors with people not even in your work cell.

It was hoped that discussing these issues, you would take an honest look at yourself and look for ways to improve the situation. Unfortunately, right after this conversation, the same negative behaviors were displayed.

Why this is a concern
These types of behaviors are contrary to the values of GRC and undermine the teamwork required to achieve the highest of overall results. Your condescending and hostile behavior towards others is consuming several people's times on these issues and making work difficult for others on a daily basis.

What results are expected
Everyone who comes to work should expect to be treated respectfully and professionally. When issues or problems arise, we should be honest and look for ways to solve the problem and find was to achieve the highest overall result. When new people come into GRC, rather than belittling them, you should be making them feel welcomed and help them perform their job better. This may mean doing more than your share initially until they learn how to do the job efficiently.

What happens next
You need to aware that creating a hostile work environment can begrounds for immediate termination. If we do not see a dramatic difference in your behavior, termination of employment will be the immediate consequence for you.


That is a letter I recieved from the HR Director. Shannon recieved the same letter. So after reading that you'll understand how my day went. As most of you may know I have had a problem with Christine for awhile now. Things have never escalated to the point where she felt the need to tell our supervisor every little detail of every conversation. Im not trying to make myself sound better than her, or be immature and childish about any of this. However, I do not appreciate her jumping down my throat for supposedly copping an attitude. I was simply stating a true fact, and she blew up at me. It is not my fault she misconstrued that situation as well as when Stacy and Shannon hashed it out, after Stacy tried hashing it out with me. I am in no place to point fingers, because I am guilty of being rude, and judgemental. I also do not appreciated Christine telling Shannon when she first started that she better not let me meet her boyfriend because I would try and steal him. Also that I was trying to come between a supposed love affair between Brandon and Angel. I do not know where she got any of that. (For the record, and Im pretty sure all of you realize that I am very at home with Mike. I do not need another man. And I wouldn't be a susie-homewrecker and try to break people up. If people at work are having a love affair, that is their business.) I am not guilty of talking behind their backs because whatever I have to say, I willingly say it to their faces. I have a spine, and Im not going to back down. I don't lay down helpless to be kicked. I may have done that once upon a time, however things have changed.

I do not know where they got that I belittle the new hires, when the only person on the line I have said was slow, was Christine. And thats because she's been there 3 years, and still cannot keep up. When I started working there, I was told the first day by the supervisor that gossip was not tolerated, and if I didn't make rate after a certain amount of time, I would be let go. What happened to those policies?

Also, I am not offended easily, nor disturbed. But when I hear things come from Christines mouth about how her 11 year old daughter wants to get her clit pierced. Or how she found a used condom in her 13 year old daughters backpack. Or how her 17 year old sons girlfriend has a smelly pussy. I am very offended and disturbed. It is uncalled for, true or not, to say those things in the workplace. Especially about your own kids.

And trust me, I have tried telling my supervisor all of this, and it obviously hasn't gotten me anywhere. I am all out of ideas.

*watch the stars fall*

:: 2007 3 August :: 11.31 pm

I haven't posted anything in here for a little while now. Partly because I am completely tapped on anything I want to say. I have done enough communicating lately that I have nothing left to vent. However, the tables have turned. I am frustrated and confused. I feel like I'm being selfish on all that is going on. But its the only thing that feels right. I just wish things were different. I don't even know where to begin.

I dont understand why I can't just forget the fact that she's my mother. I don't understand anything she does. I don't get why I try. I don't get why no matter how hard I try to avoid her, or how many times I say I hate over there, I end up there. I always leave pissed off, or this time, crying because Im so upset. Its because of things I witness, things that are said or things that are done. I don't get why I can't come to terms with the fact that my mother is an alcoholic that smokes pot and prefers men over her children no matter how hard she tries to say otherwise. I have a hard time trying not to care. I do so good for awhile, and then I break because i feel bad. I hate how I can be so cold and act like no one around me exsists, yet Im always worrying about everyone. I always have something big on my mind, and I get stressed out. I honestly, do not understand my mother. At all. I truly do not understand her. And she doesn't understand me. She doesn't realize that she has hurt me.

For instance, tonight I was over there washing my car, and spending time with her, like she has wanted to do for a couple of weeks now, and Joe shows up. Granted I new he was going to come over to get rid of the bat(s) she had. Anyway, she basically ignored the fact that I was there, and made plans for her, Joe and his friend to all go back to his place. After Joe's friend asked if I wanted to come out there, she spoke up and said "oh yeah, you can go if you want". And then rushed me out.

Not to mention the fact that earlier in the week, she invited my brother to go over to my grandma's to pick out what he wanted out of her stuff, but not I. Not the one who she had just spoke with on the phone. She is giving some of my grandmothers things to Joe. She knows that I'd like a few things that belonged to my grandmother and also they were things that she knows I have said I needed for my apartment.. Apparently, I do not rate, but here I go feeling sorry for myself.

I find it quite hard to believe that the only thing that keeps me sane, the one and only thing that I didn't ever think I'd have, is the only thing that makes sense in my life day after day. I have found happiness with him. I love him entirely and I honestly would go crazy without him.

In good news, my brother-in-law is going to be a Cop. (I believe that is what my mother said. It was hard to comprehend anything she was saying).

4 *gazer*s | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2007 21 July :: 9.03 pm

This morning about 4 AM, I broke down.
I lost all control. It was probably for the best.
I had been a wreck all week.
I was being an irritable bitch and was hard to be around.
Im glad that I got out what I had to say.
But more importantly, Im happy that I was able to finally talk to him.
He actually seemed to care.
And he held my hand.
That made me feel whole again.
God I love him.

*watch the stars fall*

:: 2007 13 July :: 9.13 pm

Nothing exciting has really happened in my life.
I'm still bitter, and distant.
I doubt that will ever change.
I'm still with Mike.
And I'm very happy.
I'm currently looking for a second job.
So if you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Carley: I apologize if you recieve the same text from me a dozen times. Service in Sheridan is crap and doesn't send my texts and then when it does, they send like a dozen times.

I sliced my finger open today.
It bled quite a bit, and has bled since I've been home.
Anyway I think I am going to go get cozy in my bed, or on the couch and watch Shooter.

1 *gazer* | *watch the stars fall*