:: 2009 12 May :: 10.43 pm

So i'm feeling better than I did on Friday.
Much much better.
I just really wish I could find another Boston terrier for me or at least a Boston playmate for my dog.

I'vr narrowed things down to the fact that I hate my job more than anything. Seriously, to the point where I am miserable every single day and I don't want to get out of bed.

4 *gazer*s | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2009 9 May :: 12.17 am

Life was better on prozac..
I've been at this place before..
Where nothing makes sense, but at the same time, everything makes sense to me.
I have everything most girls dream of, yet I am lacking so many things that other people have and dream of.
Sometimes I think that I want to be single and live alone.
But the problem with that is, I haven't ever lived on my own. I hate being at home alone. I tried living on my own once, and Mike was over everyday, and then he moved completely in.
I need to balance independent and dependent.
I'm back to where I was when I was in high school..
Crying about every little thing.
Making everyone miserable because I'm sad all the time..
Even though I really have no reason to be unhappy..
And seriously, I have no idea how Mike deals with it.
He tries to cheer me up, but it only lasts for a little bit..
Until I start thinking about how much my life is lacking in different areas..

I have so many hopes and dreams that I don't put into action.
So many ties..

And sadly I think the only fix is prozac.
And the problem with that is, I don't have health insurance!

4 *gazer*s | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2009 3 May :: 1.10 pm

Things are starting to look up.. Other than I have 6 exams due by thursday.. and being that I have to work monday-thursday, I have no idea when i am going to be able to make it up to the college before the lab closes so that I can get all my exams in..

Kind of worried about it.. but who knows.. maybe something will work out for me..

I still have work for 2 classes to do yet.. And there are a couple of assignments for one class that I can't figure out how to do certain things.. so yeah, im screwed!

*watch the stars fall*

:: 2009 28 April :: 7.54 pm

Found a new home for her cat, and is now balling like a 3 year old..

The ad was on craigslist for like 3 hours..

*watch the stars fall*

:: 2009 27 April :: 6.08 pm

I've been putting some serious thought into a career path, and I still have no clue what I want to do with my life.
I want out of this factory crap.
I keep thinking that there is a job out there that I will enjoy every moment of, and the people won't irritate me.
But lets be serious, that doesn't exsist.
At least not for me.

Any suggestions?

3 *gazer*s | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2009 24 April :: 3.45 pm

Well here is another thing to add to the list of things that keep making my life worse..

Mike's daughters mom and step dad are buying the house that I want more than anything so that their welfare kids can rent it from them..
I am super fucking pissed because they knew that I wanted that house, and was trying to get it..
Right now I am beyond super fucking pissed.

*watch the stars fall*

:: 2009 21 April :: 5.54 pm
:: Music: Hate my life - Theory of a Deadman

1 *gazer* | *watch the stars fall*

:: 2009 21 April :: 2.43 pm

Growing up I was never told that cheating was a good or bad thing. I have formed my own opinions on the subject.

But I can't believe she has the audacity to ask me not to be mad at him. I can understand that she wouldn't want my brother to know. But I honestly cannot believe she can ask me not to be mad at him. I may not have a lot of respect for the woman and she has done somf pretty questionable things in her life but I figured she'd make things right by not forgiving someone for doing the same thing she has done to every guy she has been with.

Makes me sick.

*watch the stars fall*